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Serious Problem; the Watcher needs advice

W

Watcher

The Gunslinger
I am way to scared/embarrased to talk to anyone else about this, but I need some advice and fast! I am very very very very bored right now, and was doing some random searches on Yahoo. You know, like my name, my last name, some of my friends names, just to see what kind of results I pulled up. Well, then I did a search for my boyfriends common forum/nickname he uses. I got some hits from some ezboard forums. Among these, were posts that he was gay and wondering the best methods for anal sex would be for him and his "boyfriend". He has a very VERY unique username, something he made up using the Elven language from Tolkiens books. Just to be sure, I clicked on his username to show his profile. His occupation was a long running joke among our group of friends......
I am so scared and confused, what should I do? Should I confront him about this?
You may PM me if you would like.
 
L

Lightkeeper

Well-Known Member
Watcher said:
I am way to scared/embarrased to talk to anyone else about this, but I need some advice and fast! I am very very very very bored right now, and was doing some random searches on Yahoo. You know, like my name, my last name, some of my friends names, just to see what kind of results I pulled up. Well, then I did a search for my boyfriends common forum/nickname he uses. I got some hits from some ezboard forums. Among these, were posts that he was gay and wondering the best methods for anal sex would be for him and his "boyfriend". He has a very VERY unique username, something he made up using the Elven language from Tolkiens books. Just to be sure, I clicked on his username to show his profile. His occupation was a long running joke among our group of friends......
I am so scared and confused, what should I do? Should I confront him about this?
You may PM me if you would like.
Click to expand...
I think confront is the wrong word. You could ask him about it. Try to phrase it in a way he won't think you have been checking up on him. I would express love and concern. Let us know how it turns out.
 
Mister Emu

Mister Emu

Emu Extraordinaire
Staff member
Premium Member
Watcher,

I would try to find out more, on this board you found does the person have a profile?

If so, have you looked at it to see if anything coincides with what you know about his likes, dislikes, your all's location?

How long ago was this post?

I think this needs a little more investigation before you jump to the conclusion that your boyfriend is bisexual and cheating on you with a man.
 
Pah

Pah

Uber all member
Watcher said:
I am way to scared/embarrased to talk to anyone else about this, but I need some advice and fast! I am very very very very bored right now, and was doing some random searches on Yahoo. You know, like my name, my last name, some of my friends names, just to see what kind of results I pulled up. Well, then I did a search for my boyfriends common forum/nickname he uses. I got some hits from some ezboard forums. Among these, were posts that he was gay and wondering the best methods for anal sex would be for him and his "boyfriend". He has a very VERY unique username, something he made up using the Elven language from Tolkiens books. Just to be sure, I clicked on his username to show his profile. His occupation was a long running joke among our group of friends......
I am so scared and confused, what should I do? Should I confront him about this?
You may PM me if you would like.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't confront him but I would ask him about it and if his posts are true statements, then ask what that means to your relationship. The calmer you are in gathering the facts will help if there is nothing to worry about. If there is something to worry about, you will have more information on which to make a decision.

An emotional confrontation is not in your best interests no matter what the outcome. I know that is easier for me to say than you, or even I, can accomplish it - but try.

Bob
 
W

Watcher

The Gunslinger
I thank you all for you advice, but I am going to get off for know so I can call a close friend of mine.
Thank you.
 
maggie2

maggie2

Active Member
Hi Watcher,

I'm with the others, I'd try to find out more and then have a casual conversation with him. Maybe bring up the topic of homosexuals and ask if he knows any or something. Or say there's been a lot of discussion about it here on the forum because of the election and ask him how he sees it...something indirect, not a confrontation. Let your intuition guide you and you'll know if you're on the right track.

We'll be thinking of you and please let us know how you make out. Sending good thoughts your way.
 
S

SoulTYPE

Well-Known Member
Of course, there are several ways to do it.

1)DO have the conversation with him.

2)Join the forum yourself, and talk to the member that your boyfriend "is" on that forum.
Ask him questions and say that you are interested in talking to him. Don't tell him it is you or he might skitz. Find out a little about the way he speaks.

3)Sometimes, rarely though, other users of the forums may sign in as someone else, by using methods to obtain their password. They do this if they had a "tiff" on the board, and someone could do it to **** your BF off.

4)He himself may only do it as a joke. I used to join Christian forums as a joke and
give them sh*t a bout the devil and stuff, just to annoy them.

If you were really desperate, you could always get a program called SubSeven and find out wht he is REALLY doing on the net. Or sign in to his emails...well, I don't think we will go to that extreme...
 
S

SoulTYPE

Well-Known Member
PS: I know about EZyboard, I was a moderator on one of their boards.

And I was joking about the last thing on my post before. Sorry.
 
Green Gaia

Green Gaia

Veteran Member
SoulTYPE01 said:
If you were really desperate, you could always get a program called SubSeven and find out wht he is REALLY doing on the net. Or sign in to his emails......
Click to expand...
I would strongly advise against this course of action. Be up front with him, don't go behind his back, sneaking around, even if you think that's what he's doing. This could seriously damage your relationship if he found out and it wasn't true.
 
S

SoulTYPE

Well-Known Member
Obviously looking for the bad points of my posts.

Maybe you missed the post below it, saying I was joking?
 
mrscardero

mrscardero

Kal-El's Mama
SoulTYPE01 said:
Of course, there are several ways to do it.

1)DO have the conversation with him.

2)Join the forum yourself, and talk to the member that your boyfriend "is" on that forum.
Ask him questions and say that you are interested in talking to him. Don't tell him it is you or he might skitz. Find out a little about the way he speaks.

3)Sometimes, rarely though, other users of the forums may sign in as someone else, by using methods to obtain their password. They do this if they had a "tiff" on the board, and someone could do it to **** your BF off.

4)He himself may only do it as a joke. I used to join Christian forums as a joke and
give them sh*t a bout the devil and stuff, just to annoy them.
Click to expand...
These are great things to do to find out. I an a Moderator of a chat room and basically, we get people comming in there pretending to be someone that they are not just to see what people will say. Look into it. Make sure he is not doing this as a prank.
 
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