Premarital sex and Christianity

[Estro Felino]

well...there are some Christians (especially women) who claim that premarital sex is against Christian teachings. So says the Bible.

Well...as a Christian I believe that sex between two consenting adults is never a sin.
When two young people hopelessly fall in love with each other....the sin would be not making love. Because it would be the most romantic thing ever (like Romeo and Juliet)

By the way, waiting until the marriage is absolutely non-romantic.

 

[Sunstone]

Christian attitudes have changed from one century to the next and from one place or culture to another.

In America today, attitudes seem to have changed for most people -- including most Evangelicals -- since the 1960s and 70s. Nine out of ten American married couples have had premarital sex.

 

[Estro Felino]

Christian attitudes have changed from one century to the next and from one place or culture to another.

In America today, attitudes seem to have changed for most people -- including most Evangelicals -- since the 1960s and 70s. Nine out of ten American married couples have had premarital sex.

Then why American parents prevent their teenage children from having sex?
The truth is that American teenagers are really beautiful, so they easily feel strongly attracted to each other, and they are tempted to have sex.
Maybe that's the reason why their parents try to stop them at any cost: because the chances they have to have sex are so many.

In Italy young teenagers are really ugly (because of hormones level changing) so the chances they have to have sex are poor. Because they feel disgusted by each other.
That's why Italian teenagers are the ones who have sex the least in Europe.
There are a lot of 25 year old women who are still virgins in Italy.
That's why their parents don't try to stop them: au contraire, in many cases they even push them to have sex because their chances are not so many. They don't want their children to get depressed

 

[Sunstone]

Then why American parents prevent their teenage children from having sex?

I agree that American parents tend on the whole to be a bit more prudish than parents in some other countries. Especially Southern American parents, perhaps. But none of that changes the fact that nearly every poll taken of married American couples reveals 90% or more of married American couples had premarital sex. That number is consistent in poll after poll.

The truth is...

Perhaps the truth is that American parents -- for historical and cultural reasons -- tend to see youthful sex as risky and dangerous behavior. At least, more so than, say, French, German, and Danish parents, among others.

 

[ChristineES]

well...there are some Christians (especially women) who claim that premarital sex is against Christian teachings. So says the Bible.

Well...as a Christian I believe that sex between two consenting adults is never a sin.
When two young people hopelessly fall in love with each other....the sin would be not making love. Because it would be the most romantic thing ever (like Romeo and Juliet)

By the way, waiting until the marriage is absolutely non-romantic.

If a Christian couple wants to refrain from sex before marriage, why would that bother anyone else? They probably don't want to have babies before they can afford them or before they are married. And the bible, in the books of Moses, says that a couple found fornicating, is obligated to get married.

And who says that marriages are unromantic? Sometimes they become that way, but the marriages that are best usually keep the romance alive.

Telling others that it's a sin is a whole different subject, so I won't address it.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

If a Christian couple wants to refrain from sex before marriage, why would that bother anyone else? They probably don't want to have babies before they can afford them or before they are married. And the bible, in the books of Moses, says that a couple found fornicating, is obligated to get married.

And who says that marriages are unromantic? Sometimes they become that way, but the marriages that are best usually keep the romance alive.

Telling others that it's a sin is a whole different subject, so I won't address it.

Do you really want to use Mosaic Law as a example what marriage should be like? Girls as young as twelve where often sold to much older males against their will and their precious virginity was then taken by force i.e they were raped by their groom. Is this the cultural view of marriage you want to uphold as ideal?

 

[CynthiaCypher]

I don't see what the big deal is with virginity. It just sort some of Patriarchy thing. And it is a standard that often is not held to the male.

 

[ChristineES]

Do you really want to use Mosaic Law as a example what marriage should be like? Girls as young as twelve where often sold to much older males against their will and their precious virginity was then taken by force i.e they were raped by their groom. Is this the cultural view of marriage you want to uphold as ideal?

I wasn't saying that anyone should follow that law. I was saying that some people do follow that law, including Christians.

 

[ChristineES]

I don't see what the big deal is with virginity. It just sort some of Patriarchy thing. And it is a standard that often is not held to the male.

Maybe you don't but some people do. The people are thinking less of themselves and more about God, in a lot of cases.

 

[Estro Felino]

If a Christian couple wants to refrain from sex before marriage, why would that bother anyone else?

It doesn't bother me. As long as it's their decision, made with their free will, without being influenced by the Bible.

By they way, If I had a 25 years old daughter who is still a virgin, I would probably kill myself.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Maybe you don't but some people do. The people are thinking less of themselves and more about God, in a lot of cases.

Ok. Why do they see it as a big deal? I personally don't feel God as anything to do with it but what is really behind it is a need to control a girl's sexuality. Personally it reeks of misogyny to me.

So please tell me, why is it such a big deal for a girl to be a virgin?

 

[ChristineES]

It doesn't bother me. As long as it's their decision, made with their free will, without being influenced by the Bible.

By they way, If I had a 25 years old daughter who is still a virgin, I would probably kill myself.

Some people don't mind being influenced by the Bible. That isn't a problem for them, either.

 

[ChristineES]

Ok. Why do they see it as a big deal? I personally don't feel God as anything to do with it but what is really behind it is a need to control a girl's sexuality. Personally it reeks of misogyny to me.

So please tell me, why is it such a big deal for a girl to be a virgin?

It's not about being a virgin or having a virgin (what I was talking about). It's about following what each person perceives as God's law and how they follow it.
I am not sure how "having a virgin" even got into the discussion. It wasn't about that in the OP, either. It was about premarital sex. Granted, if a couple decides not to have premarital sex, then both will be virgins, but that isn't what it's about. (Usually, when a man wants a virgin, in the way you're putting it, the man is not a virgin in that case, and that is misogynistic).

What the whole thing is about is people making their own decisions. If a couple wants to wait until marriage, they have that right. If people decide not to wait, then that's their choice, too. People in the free world have the right to make their own decisions.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

I think you should have some practice before you get married.

 

[Estro Felino]

Ok. Why do they see it as a big deal? I personally don't feel God as anything to do with it but what is really behind it is a need to control a girl's sexuality. Personally it reeks of misogyny to me.

So please tell me, why is it such a big deal for a girl to be a virgin?

I absolutely agree with you. Androcentric and virile cultures like UK and USA consider female virginity something to praise. That's because men are aroused by the idea of initiating a virgin to sex.

In matriarchal cultures like mine, a virgin woman is a tragedy. Because a woman is supposed to know everything about sex. A girl who is totally unaware of what sex is, is surely a turnoff for men.

 

[columbus]

It doesn't bother me. As long as it's their decision, made with their free will, without being influenced by the Bible.

By they way, If I had a 25 years old daughter who is still a virgin, I would probably kill myself.

You've written some trashy things but this is close to the bottom.

In Italy young teenagers are really ugly (because of hormones level changing) so the chances they have to have sex are poor. Because they feel disgusted by each other.
That's why Italian teenagers are the ones who have sex the least in Europe.
There are a lot of 25 year old women who are still virgins in Italy.

You seem to think people's value is dependent on their looks.

Tom

 

[Estro Felino]

You seem to think people's value is dependent on their looks.

Yes, it is, partially. Our value depends on our intelligence, but also on our looks.

 

[Glaurung]

well...there are some Christians (especially women) who claim that premarital sex is against Christian teachings. So says the Bible.

And they are absolutely right. Fornication is a sin in any mainstream Christian tradition.

Well...as a Christian I believe that sex between two consenting adults is never a sin.

So extramarital sex isn't a sin?

You may believe and espouse whatever you like. It's just by doing so any pretension to being in good standing as a Christian is self delusion.

 

[Estro Felino]

And they are absolutely right. Fornication is a sin in any mainstream Christian tradition.

Well, I don't believe fornication is a sin. For example two swingers are not sinners, in my opinion. Sin is when you hurt your neighbor. I can't see how an orgy can damage me or anyone else.

Lying is a sin. If you have extramarital sex with your husband's consent, you are not sinning.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

So extramarital sex isn't a sin?

Yes it is. I just don't believe that sexual experimentation before marriage is.