Past Trauma

[Maija]

Greetings ! !


Has anyone any experience in healing from past trauma, I am all and well today, however the past still haunts me. Some rather unfortunate events happened that have left me feeling like a part of me was taken, need I say more.

While I've done my share of therapy, I thought all was resolved. For years I've not felt anything, no sadness...and yet feelings came back. From now where, I'll feel vulnerable and I start thinking...remembering..This all took place when I was a very young. Memories had been blocked out from about 7-25 and then suddenly they came back so clear. I'm 30 now, so it still all feels rather fresh of a subject to deal with in a way.

My question: Do you belief that such a situation could be cured with prayer and drawing close to God? Is this a substitute for digging deep? My concern with digging deep is not finding out more, it's simply that what will I resolve?


Things will never make sense, they will never be fair...it is what it is.



I feel like I have coping mechanisms, because I am definitely mostly happy. Perhaps, I've just come to the realization that this will always be something I remember.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this- but I find it very difficult to open up to my husband and anyone in my real life about this.

Love and blessings

 

[Kerr]

Greetings ! !


Has anyone any experience in healing from past trauma, I am all and well today, however the past still haunts me. Some rather unfortunate events happened that have left me feeling like a part of me was taken, need I say more.

While I've done my share of therapy, I thought all was resolved. For years I've not felt anything, no sadness...and yet feelings came back. From now where, I'll feel vulnerable and I start thinking...remembering..This all took place when I was a very young. Memories had been blocked out from about 7-25 and then suddenly they came back so clear. I'm 30 now, so it still all feels rather fresh of a subject to deal with in a way.

My question: Do you belief that such a situation could be cured with prayer and drawing close to God? Is this a substitute for digging deep? My concern with digging deep is not finding out more, it's simply that what will I resolve?


Things will never make sense, they will never be fair...it is what it is.



I feel like I have coping mechanisms, because I am definitely mostly happy. Perhaps, I've just come to the realization that this will always be something I remember.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this- but I find it very difficult to open up to my husband and anyone in my real life about this.

Love and blessings

I dont believe prayer can heal, but I am not religious. I do believe having support from someone close, someone you can trust, can help a lot. As for digging deep, I dont know enough to say if there is alternatives to it. But I wouldnt dismiss it entierly, since even if you wont find something new it might help to have someone to talk to openly, which you do when you dig deep if I remember correctly.

For what its worth, I hope you work this out .

 

[LuisDantas]

Belief in God is certainly not for everyone.

Digging deep is far more constructive, although it can be dangerous. Ultimately you will heal out of nurturing the proper balance of acceptance and desire of change. There is no other way that I know.

 

[Jainarayan]

All I can offer is that it sounds like PTSD, which can rear its ugly head any time. Of course you may already know this. Knowing that it could be PTSD could be the first step in grabbing hold of it and seeing it for what it is, then working on that.

Your comments hark back to my tantra post http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/3230272-post31.html I'm also looking for a way to channel current negativity as well as events and guilt from the past. In a way, that is turning to God but I think it will take a lot of introspection on our parts. Wannbe Yogi pointed out that my anti-sociability, for example, could be turned to my advantage to explore myself on the inside. I'm sorry I don't have anything better to offer.

 

[Vinayaka]

Greetings ! !

Has anyone any experience in healing from past trauma, I am all and well today, however the past still haunts me. Some rather unfortunate events happened that have left me feeling like a part of me was taken, need I say more.

There is a Hindu tantra that may help called vasana daha tantra... you write the memories down, as clearly and vividly as possible, then crumple up the paper, and burn it in an inauspicious place. Try to feel it letting go as you do this. If it doesn't work, do it again, and again, and again, if necessary. If you keep doing it, eventually your writing will shift to a more 'watching it' rather 'feeling it' like as if you went to the same movie 20 times, eventually you won't emote.

This might help.

 

[Jainarayan]

What might an inauspicious place be that one could light a fire and not get fined (I live in NJ after all, the Nanny State )? This is something I would be very keen on doing. I must admit that bringing up these memories in a vivid manner will be very painful.

Edit: found something. Perhaps the fire could be an ordinary bbq grill.

Living with Siva, Chapter 18: The Power Of Penance

Saturday
LESSON 125
Spiritual Journaling
The maha vasana daha tantra, a once in a lifetime experience, is the practice of writing down ten pages of memories on lettersize lined paper (about ten words per line, twenty-eight lines, totaling 250-280 words per page) for each year of your life to date and burning them in an ordinary, nonauspicious fire. To begin, put together a collection of ten blank pages for each year of your life. Each page must be carefully marked with the page number, the year and your age at that time. Then set aside at least fifty pages for each of the other four parts of this tantra. As you proceed in your journaling, you will find it necessary from time to time to backtrack or jump ahead to a year when memories pop up related to a certain period. In other words, it's okay to write about years out of order, especially when old memories arise naturally, but do so on the designated pages. This is the reason for numbering each page in the way suggested above. Each time a page on one of the years has been completed, it must be immediately burned.

After your journaling of ten pages per year is complete, there are five more steps, making six in all. Step two, the "spot check," is to scan back through the years of your life and see if there are memories you missed in your previous journaling. These, of course, would be the happy and unhappy experiences, and anything else that comes to mind. The mere remembrance of an experience coming unbidden proves there is still color/sound emotion attached to it. Pay close attention to times when you did not apply the eternal laws of karma, reincarnation and the acknowledgment that Siva is everywhere and in all things. Note the times when you blamed others for what happened to you, when you did not acknowledge all happenings in life as your own creations accomplished in one life or another in the past. Be honest here. It is important to acknowledge when we do and do not put Sanatana Dharma into action in our lives. Be honest; no one is looking. You are the actor on the stage of your own experience, having written the script yourself. Write down those experiences and burn them up as garbage.

Btw, note that this is a maha version.

 

[4consideration]

There is a Hindu tantra that may help called vasana daha tantra... you write the memories down, as clearly and vividly as possible, then crumple up the paper, and burn it in an inauspicious place. Try to feel it letting go as you do this. If it doesn't work, do it again, and again, and again, if necessary. If you keep doing it, eventually your writing will shift to a more 'watching it' rather 'feeling it' like as if you went to the same movie 20 times, eventually you won't emote.

This might help.

I have used a very similar method in the past and found it to be effective.

 

[Vinayaka]

What might an inauspicious place be that one could light a fire and not get fined (I live in NJ after all, the Nanny State )?

Not my idea, BTW ... 'Living with Siva' is the source.

 

[Jainarayan]

OK, I understand. I'm probably about the same age as you, so I would have a lot to write if I did the maha version. I doubt I would undertake such a task and commitment, but this is all good knowledge. I stumbled on Living with Siva searching on vasana daha.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I have used a very similar method in the past and found it to be effective.

Me too. Writing it down in detail, and for me speaking it repeatedly, helps to solidify itself outside of the limitless machinations of the mind. It makes it into a story - YOUR story - but a story nonetheless. I've used this method before from counselling sessions and group therapy before as well, and I find it to be very helpful.

The interesting thing is if you repeat it often enough to yourself, or even go through the effort of telling your story often enough, the emotional connection can (not always, but can) become somewhat absurd. However, that only worked for me when I was physically separated from the source of the trauma over hundreds of miles where I had a better chance of not being assaulted again. I would not try that method if the source of the trauma is still active, intimately connected, and/or physically close. If I had done that, I might begin complete dissociating myself from the reality of my situation when other sources of help, protection, and assistance would have been better, whether it was law enforcement or professional intervention.

Writing down the chain of events, however, is good anyway. Whether you decide to burn it, tear it up afterward, or use it to help you get through court sentencing hearings if you choose to give an impact statement.

IMO, the worst thing a survivor can do is keep the trauma kept secret in one's own mind. The reason is because it continues to replay over and over again for a long time...sometimes an entire lifetime. I don't have an opinion for or against prayer itself, but I would not rely on it completely as the sole source of coping. I would advise to make sure other people are there surrounding you in a circle of safety and friendship.

 

[Maija]

Heads up-- im viewing the many sweet comments, i will respond when i am home, currently at work i appreciate all the love i feel friends!

 

[4consideration]

There is another approach that I have used in other situations and found to also be effective.

I would only use this approach at a time that I was fully centered, strong and feeling at peace. I would not use this approach at a time that a painful memory had surfaced on its own and was just replaying itself, complete with all the negative feelings and in the emotional reaction that often produces.

The approach is to get fully centered, at a place of peace, strength and safety (both physical and emotional) and then consciously call up the memory and re-enter the memory as the strong, safe, loving and compassionate friend of the younger you that had the painful experience. In this new experience, being both the experiencer of the event and the now stronger you -- there to provide whatever love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, etc. to the person going through it -- instead of resisting the painful event or wishing that it hadn't happened, or wishing that what happened had happened differently -- you can bring forward a new experience of the event, or create a new memory. In that painful memory, there is a friend there. That friend is the stronger you.

It seems that now, the new memory of that old event includes the love and compassion consciously brought to it, that was lacking the first time it happened. Often when we replay memories, we add something like, more shame, embarassment, hatred, additional judgement of ourselves and others, feelings of what we or others could have or should have done differently -- and the subsequent playings of those memories can become more painful as time goes on. With a consciously created new memory, where the adult you assumes reponsibility (ability to respond) it can release some of the emotions we have associated with the event (possibly victimization) and all the previous responses to that event.

I have found that I can re-program how I experience something (a memory) of something that dominated me in the past. While it does not change the past, I have found that it changes the emotional charge, and therefore how that past experience affects me now. (It also seems to affect everything that was attached to that experience as well, but I don't know how to explain that at the moment.)

 

[dgirl1986]

*blind post*

I experienced something so traumatic in my childhood that its mostly blocked out, but I still felt the effects of what happened because it affects your psychologically and emotionally. I tried for years to use prayer to ask God for healing etc but I never felt an ounce of difference. It wasnt until I found a wonderful psychologist that I was able to accept what happened and begin self healing. She also helped with the psychological aspect. I think the best thing to do is to find a psychologist or counsellor that will talk you through the healing process but wont dig deeper than you are comfortable with.

 

[JayJayDee]

I experienced something so traumatic in my childhood that its mostly blocked out, but I still felt the effects of what happened because it affects your psychologically and emotionally. I tried for years to use prayer to ask God for healing etc but I never felt an ounce of difference. It wasnt until I found a wonderful psychologist that I was able to accept what happened and begin self healing. She also helped with the psychological aspect. I think the best thing to do is to find a psychologist or counsellor that will talk you through the healing process but wont dig deeper than you are comfortable with.

This I believe is the secret to overcoming the trauma of past experiences. But finding a gifted counsellor is difficult. There are many who have diplomas but not many have the gift of being able to tap into the soul of an individual and draw out the poison and facilitate healing, psychologically.

From the Bible's point of view, I had it explained to me this way....(for what it's worth....)

Man was never designed to cope with evil things. A knowledge of evil was not even supposed to have entered his mind. No evil was to be thought of, let alone carried out. That would still be the case if Adam had simply obeyed his Creator. Once a knowledge of evil was unleashed however, there was no taking it back....there was no way to "un"know it. Issues were raised concerning God's sovereign right to rule his creation so he would have to deal with it in his own way and in his own time. He took the long range view and went about solving the issue immediately. The outcome would have eternal benefits for all of God's creatures.

The human mind is virtually on "record" all the time, because everything man was supposed to do on this earth was to be a beneficial learning experience. It was all to be input, building a bottomless well of knowledge continually. There is no "erase" button because there was originally no need for one.

How often we have seen things in our lives that we do not want to remember but we cannot wipe the memory of it from our minds? The images just keep repeating and causing us grief every time we recall them.

This is where a good psychologist come in. Being able to put those images and experiences in a mental file marked "Past Events Not to be Concerned About Because we Cannot Change Them" is the only way to put them to rest. Learning to forgive and to let go of the hurt is the only way to move on.

Someone else put it this way.....if you run over the cat, it is a devastating experience so why would you choose to do it every day? Wasn't it bad enough to do it once? When we relive the events that cause us grief, we virtually 'run over the cat' again and again and the pain never stops.

For those who suffer years of abuse, the woulds have been gaping for so long, it takes a very long time to heal them...but it can be done.

Prayer most certainly is comforting to spiritual individuals, because we need to know that someone higher cares about the hurt we are experiencing and can give us the strength to endure our pain and move through it. There is a grieving process to negotiate....grieving for the life we have lost to the bad memories that continue to haunt us.

It will not always be this way......there is a better future that the Bible holds out for obedient mankind.

Through his prophet Isaiah, Jehovah says of life in the 'new earth'...."the former distresses will actually be forgotten....they will actually be concealed from my eyes. “For here I am creating new heavens and a new earth; and the former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart." (Isa 65:16, 17)

All bad memories will be erased forever never to cause us pain again. (Rev 21:3, 4)

 

[Maija]

there is a better future that the Bible holds out for obedient mankind.

Through his prophet Isaiah, Jehovah says of life in the 'new earth'...."the former distresses will actually be forgotten....they will actually be concealed from my eyes. “For here I am creating new heavens and a new earth; and the former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart." (Isa 65:16, 17)

I cannot claim to be suffering in this life, my life is beautiful and vibrant..However, what comes in waves is this sinking feeling that in the past has lead me towards an eating disorder. It was the only way I knew how to fully focus my mind on something else, take away from these feelings of insecurity. Now, fully recovered- but those feelings still exist. The behaviors have changed, happiness has been LEARNED, but it's not without a fight.

The secrecy is what has brought me here, feelings that I can't share with others or talk about what transpired and yet it at times will come to mind.

This is not a cry for :help: , I am not going down a 'bad road,' so much as I am trying to gain perspective from others who went down this road too.

JayJayDee- you had very comforting things to say..I will respond more, this busy lil mamma has to run to work soon though.

I experienced something so traumatic in my childhood that its mostly blocked out, but I still felt the effects of what happened because it affects your psychologically and emotionally. I tried for years to use prayer to ask God for healing etc but I never felt an ounce of difference

My experiences are the same, granted I do feel in fact different with prayer- same things still bring out those awful feelings. Being faced with one of my phobias for i.e. bring out a disgusted, dirty and sick feeling, I want to pound on my knees and yell "STOOP!"

4consideration

In this new experience, being both the experiencer of the event and the now stronger you -- there to provide whatever love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, etc. to the person going through it -- instead of resisting the painful event or wishing that it hadn't happened, or wishing that what happened had happened differently -- you can bring forward a new experience of the event, or create a new memory.

It would def. be hard to re-enter this memory and view it as a positive thing, what happened so many times (granted I was young - 4-7yrs)- I didn't put a stop to for a long time. I let it persist, I feel viewing MYSELF with compassion is the wrong attitude because I am the reason it didn't stop.

I know I didn't know better, but I change positions on what I should feel, compassion towards myself or compassion towards the other person who acted out. The one carrying out the events (observed!) were my same age and suffered far more because they knew exactly what to do.

I've said so much !

:run:

THanks and I'll think abt this more

 

[4consideration]

It would def. be hard to re-enter this memory and view it as a positive thing, what happened so many times (granted I was young - 4-7yrs)- I didn't put a stop to for a long time. I let it persist, I feel viewing MYSELF with compassion is the wrong attitude because I am the reason it didn't stop.

Maija, do or approach the situation in the way that seems right for you. I make no assertion that what I mentioned is appropriate for you -- just sharing what has worked for me. If I came across as though you "ought" to use the approach I mentioned, please let me correct that here.

I do wish to point out, though, that it was not my intention to tell you that you should view something that is painful was "a positive thing." If it was painful, and/or damaging to anyone, I would not call it "positive." I was offering information for what I found useful in releasing the residual emotional pain of something that is not longer occuring, or in danger of occurring, but seems to be kept alive because of memory, and what we tend to do with those memories. If you are not at a place where you are willing or able to view yourself with compassion, I will not push the issue.

Best wishes for whatever is in your best interest.

 

[Maija]

Maija, do or approach the situation in the way that seems right for you. I make no assertion that what I mentioned is appropriate for you -- just sharing what has worked for me. If I came across as though you "ought" to use the approach I mentioned, please let me correct that here.

I do wish to point out, though, that it was not my intention to tell you that you should view something that is painful was "a positive thing." If it was painful, and/or damaging to anyone, I would not call it "positive." I was offering information for what I found useful in releasing the residual emotional pain of something that is not longer occuring, or in danger of occurring, but seems to be kept alive because of memory, and what we tend to do with those memories. If you are not at a place where you are willing or able to view yourself with compassion, I will not push the issue.

Best wishes for whatever is in your best interest.

Oh goodness, i did not think you were telling me what to! i will respond more in depth, i really appreciate your perspective, i was expressing fear and that should not keep me from attempting anything new, more later

 

[Super Universe]

Greetings ! !


Has anyone any experience in healing from past trauma, I am all and well today, however the past still haunts me. Some rather unfortunate events happened that have left me feeling like a part of me was taken, need I say more.

While I've done my share of therapy, I thought all was resolved. For years I've not felt anything, no sadness...and yet feelings came back. From now where, I'll feel vulnerable and I start thinking...remembering..This all took place when I was a very young. Memories had been blocked out from about 7-25 and then suddenly they came back so clear. I'm 30 now, so it still all feels rather fresh of a subject to deal with in a way.

My question: Do you belief that such a situation could be cured with prayer and drawing close to God? Is this a substitute for digging deep? My concern with digging deep is not finding out more, it's simply that what will I resolve?


Things will never make sense, they will never be fair...it is what it is.



I feel like I have coping mechanisms, because I am definitely mostly happy. Perhaps, I've just come to the realization that this will always be something I remember.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this- but I find it very difficult to open up to my husband and anyone in my real life about this.

Love and blessings

You were a child then. Children are not expected to know how to handle adult situations, they're supposed to be provided a safe and caring environment by adults. When anger is vented on children by adults, or they are placed in sexual situations, it leaves behind trauma.

Assess a value to your whole life, separate the bad things from all the other things that you've done and that have happened to you. Now assess just the bad things, how much of your life do those bad things control now? Are you comfortable allowing those bad things that happened long ago to even control you by the tiniest amount? I'm not saying they didn't happen, what I'm saying is don't give them an ounce more of you than they already have. Reduce the value of the bad memories. Don't delete them, don't try to forget, see them as part of who you are but don't let them have any more control over you than they already have.

You were a child then. It's not your fault.

 

[Thief]

Greetings ! !


Has anyone any experience in healing from past trauma, I am all and well today, however the past still haunts me. Some rather unfortunate events happened that have left me feeling like a part of me was taken, need I say more.

While I've done my share of therapy, I thought all was resolved. For years I've not felt anything, no sadness...and yet feelings came back. From now where, I'll feel vulnerable and I start thinking...remembering..This all took place when I was a very young. Memories had been blocked out from about 7-25 and then suddenly they came back so clear. I'm 30 now, so it still all feels rather fresh of a subject to deal with in a way.

My question: Do you belief that such a situation could be cured with prayer and drawing close to God? Is this a substitute for digging deep? My concern with digging deep is not finding out more, it's simply that what will I resolve?


Things will never make sense, they will never be fair...it is what it is.



I feel like I have coping mechanisms, because I am definitely mostly happy. Perhaps, I've just come to the realization that this will always be something I remember.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this- but I find it very difficult to open up to my husband and anyone in my real life about this.

Love and blessings

I've had more than one kind of trauma.
Lucky me....I didn't die...and the injuries healed.

There's also the trauma of loss dealt by others.
Emotional roller coaster effects.

But as you say....I've come up smiling....still dancing.

I suppose I could offer philosophy and chalk it to the learning we do in this life.
The hardship can sharpen your abililty to draw up your strength when you need it.

 

[Maija]

Good God ---

I had an entire lengthy reply...and my clumsy morning hands erased it..

I will reply from work. I wonder if there's a support thread for busy moms who get 10 minutes online to have an online life...finish threads they start before they go back to chasing baby?

In short, what I will expand upon later - what I did and then deleted, todays off to a real good start, lol! Is that I'm going to check out Jainji's post and attempt Vinayaka's letter and burning it idea (I've down letter and burying it).

More later.
Much love