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overcoming pride?

setarcos

The hopeful or the hopeless?
it meant thinking independently, and was equated with rebellion, arrogance, hedonism, attempts to escape accountability, wanting to make oneself God, and the like
Rebellion, arrogance, hedonism, escaping accountability, making oneself God....all things that need qualifiers which Christianity gives us.
This may be a reflection of the limitations of our language but I'll give it a go...
I use the word to refer the justified feeling one has when he or others he cares about achieve goals.
I'll wager nothing good comes from pride in the self. We should do all things with humility. Christianity acknowledges that we accomplish nothing solely of our own accord that is why pride in self is discouraged in the scriptures.
How is it you justify having pride in self? Did you birth yourself? Did you create a sound mind and healthy body for yourself? Did you manipulate the myriad factors of chance which placed you in the right place at the right time to make a right decision? No, there are too many factors which come into play that are outside of our control which allow us to achieve anything of merit. We should achieve all things in humility for we are all most blessed to be able to achieve anything worth others accolades.
As for pride in others achievements, I personally can't see anything wrong with that, if by pride you mean recognition of how blessed they are or their achievements bless you in some manner. A parent can be proud of their children's accomplishments, a friend can be proud of their friends virtuous traits, you may even have a sense of pride in a stranger's achievements in the form of athletic prowess or mental achievement, but these should be considered projections of pride in the good that has been done by others not reflections into another's or one's own self accomplishment. For as been asserted WE achieve nothing solely of our own accord.
Christianity seems to conflate meekness and humility
The wisdom of being meek in Christianity is the realization of the current undesirable circumstances being temporary in the light of the bigger picture.
The meek are blessed because one has to humble oneself to be meek in this world and that is often not an easy thing to do. Being meek in Christianity
means subjecting oneself to faith in the will of God.
humility meant not asserting oneself, which to me is meekness when one's will falls below a certain threshold and he fails to assert himself where he should.
The act of being humble is an assertion in itself. One is meek when one realizes you should not or cannot force your will upon another with justification. The assertion of your will must develop within the other not as a projection from oneself upon another.

arrogance? An overinflated sense of one's abilities? That's not a moral failing even if one suffers from it - just bad manners that are off putting to some and that will drive some people away

How do you define moral failing? An arrogant person may be quite talented and brag about their abilities without overinflating them. What makes arrogance a moral failing is that they cannot justify their abilities as self created any more than they might brag about them being self birthed.

As I said, and based in my experience as a Christian, when a Christian asks such questions, they're really talking about submission, and the substitution of a received set of living instructions for one's own free will - nothing like what I'm talking about when I use those words.
I was under the impression that how you defined the words reflects your disagreement with Christianity not a disagreement with their general meaning.
 

It Aint Necessarily So

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I'll wager nothing good comes from pride in the self.

You use the word differently than I do. Pride is the word I use for satisfaction in the accomplishments of oneself or of others about whom they care. I'm proud of my accomplishments, as are others for me, and I am proud of some of theirs. You must have similar experiences. What word do you use for that if not pride?

I also use the word in a way closer to the Christian way, as a derogatory term. Do you know the song Layla? :

What'll you do when you get lonely, and nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long. You know it's just your foolish pride.


That isn't conceit, but irrational stubbornness.

Pride in Christianity means independent thought - freethinking. It's the greatest sin in the religion, yet a virtue in humanism.

How is it you justify having pride in self? Did you birth yourself? Did you create a sound mind and healthy body for yourself? Did you manipulate the myriad factors of chance which placed you in the right place at the right time to make a right decision?

I had choices and made decisions. There were more good ones than bad ones. I chose to serve in the military and am proud to say that I finished basic training and was honorably discharged. I'm proud to have been accepted to medical school and having had a successful medical career, where I was well liked. I'm proud of my wife, and proud to be her husband. I'm also proud of the way I have been her provider, protector, and advisor. I am proud to never have had run-ins with the law. I'm proud to be a humanist and a critical thinker. I'm proud to have quit cigarettes.

Does that offend the Christian? If so, why? If not, then what are we talking about here?

I am aware and readily acknowledge how lucky I've been to have been able to make good choices. I was lucky to have been born into a good family where I was loved and well advised, to have been born with the necessary ingredients for success in this culture (I was very good in school), to have had access to a good education, to have not been in a life-changing or -ending accident or contracting a lethal or incapacitating disease, and the like. But I take pride in how I engaged life within that milieu.

The meek are blessed because one has to humble oneself to be meek in this world and that is often not an easy thing to do. Being meek in Christianity means subjecting oneself to faith in the will of God.

You also use the word meek differently than I do. Meekness is not humility, and is not a virtue as I use the word. It is a poverty of spirit, a type of cowardice where one has a moral duty to self or others to assert himself, but lacks the fortitude. It is a poverty of spirit of sorts, and certainly not a blessing or a virtue. If you'd like a graphic example, look at Milton in the movie Office Space. Meek as a mouse, and everybody's doormat.

How do you define moral failing?

Committing an act that is known to create a net harm to others. Arrogance is a poor social strategy, but harms nobody but oneself. Trump, the most extreme example of an overinflated sense of self I've seen, is as arrogant as one can be, but that's not the immoral aspect of him. That's what makes him clownish with his claims of stable genius, making perfect calls, and having the best words. His immorality lies in his acts that harm others.

I was under the impression that how you defined the words reflects your disagreement with Christianity not a disagreement with their general meaning.

When I use words like arrogance, pride, justice, mercy, truth, faith, and love, I don't mean what a Christian typically means.
 
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dybmh

דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
It's My Birthday!
I agree that awareness of mortality is correlated to humility. A necessary condition, even. But is it conductive to humility as well?

Maybe. I don't really see it, though.
I'll take a 'maybe'. :)

Maybe you don't struggle with pride, so, it's not something you relate to?
 

setarcos

The hopeful or the hopeless?
You use the word differently than I do.
I don't think so. I've seen nothing in how you define pride that a Christian wouldn't recognize as properly defined. I think you are utilizing a similar definition of the word but you are applying that word with a different attitude.
Pride is the word I use for satisfaction in the accomplishments of oneself or of others about whom they care.
A Christian would recognize this as a perfectly reasonable definition.

What word do you use for that if not pride?
I would use more of a phrase like....I'm delighted in how blessed you are. Or, I'm happy for you and the gifts you've been given, usually compacted to Hey, that's great! I'm happy for you! Or, an internal reflection something like, man I'm so lucky to be blessed like this.
Are we splitting hairs here? Perhaps.
The main difference I think is in the recognition that we accomplish nothing on our own. Accomplishments happen to us, they are not born from us. Pride of self is like a gallery owner claiming the art he/she is selling they created themselves.

What'll you do when you get lonely, and nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long. You know it's just your foolish pride.


That isn't conceit, but irrational stubbornness.

This rings true with me. I honestly believe though that all actual pride is born of ignorance. Though the use of the word may simply be an innocent expression of joy once we understand what Christianity is saying about pride we can examine why Christians approach pride the way they do and I think they generally have it correct.

Pride in Christianity means independent thought - freethinking. It's the greatest sin in the religion, yet a virtue in humanism.
This is a misunderstanding. Freethinking is not discouraged by Jesus. It may be discourage by ignorant Christians but scripture encourages Christians to meditate upon what has been said and to be prepared to defend your faith with reason. Christianity embraces faith in God but it is a faith supplemented by rationality. Christianity was born from freethinking. No, Christianity doesn't discourage freethinking. It simply encourages faith in some things. If the Christian God exists if it wanted mindless automatons unthinkingly worshipping him he could've just created us that way. If he exists the only way to justify his glory and worthiness of worship is through the creation of freethinking beings. Actually the scientific method (a bastion of freethinkers ) was birthed from Christian thinkers.

I had choices and made decisions.
Yes you did. How did you ensure you were in a position to have choices to make in the first place? How did you ensure that you could have a coherent mind and enough knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence to make any decisions?

I chose to serve in the military and am proud to say that I finished basic training and was honorably discharged.
How did you ensure you weren't born with defects disqualifying yourself from serving? How did you ensure that you had the proper endurance and character to finish and honorably?
I'm proud to have been accepted to medical school and having had a successful medical career, where I was well liked.
How did you ensure you were born into the right country, had the right financial backing, had the right attitude and skill to be successful, and ensure that your character was likable?
I'm proud of my wife, and proud to be her husband.
How did you ensure your wife would be born, would meet you, would like you, and how did you ensure that you would be a good husband to her?
Where you say proud I would say blessed because of the implications of the meaning of pride.
I'm proud to be a humanist and a critical thinker.
Your blessed to have been born with or given the opportunity to have the intelligence to allow these things.

I'm proud to have quit cigarettes.
Your blessed to be able to. Many sincerely try and fail due to various uncontrolled circumstances.

Does that offend the Christian? If so, why? If not, then what are we talking about here?
Only an ignorant Christian or a person who thinks they are Christian but aren't would be offended by your blessings. We are talking about how we define pride as an expression of falsehood. Acknowledgement of self created accomplishment is acknowledgment of a lie. There is no such thing.

But I take pride in how I engaged life within that milieu.
"Satisfaction in the accomplishments of oneself" There is where confusions begin and the word has been equivocated into a virtuous acknowledgement of what has been done. The "self" doesn't accomplish anything of its own accord. The self doesn't create anything. The self is CREATED via that milieu you are talking about. You engage life within that milieu not because you self willed it but because you were created the way you were and that "milieu" was orchestrated by things beyond your control.


You also use the word meek differently than I do.
I use the word how Christianity uses the word. If you choose to use it differently then we are no longer referencing Christianity. You seemed to denigrate the word in reference to how Christianity uses it.
Meekness is not humility, and is not a virtue
The terms are related in Christianity.
It is a poverty of spirit, a type of cowardice where one has a moral duty to self or others to assert himself, but lacks the fortitude.
Not in Christianity. The apostles were hardly any of these things. Yet they were meek in that sometimes you have to let others enlighten themselves about their own actions by letting their actions happen. In Christianity sometimes you have to lose your life to save it. In Christianity the meek are worried about preserving their soul not enforcing their desires.

If you'd like a graphic example, look at Milton in the movie Office Space. Meek as a mouse, and everybody's doormat.
You misunderstand. Being meek does not ensure virtuousness but neither does it ensure being a vice. Sometimes it simply is cowardice and its cowardice because the meek one, instead of being self assured in their own belief and being, are actually jealously desirous of being equal to their abusers. They want to be just like them. Not the doormat but the one who walks on it.

Committing an act that is known to create a net harm to others.
I would add to oneself as well.
Arrogance is a poor social strategy, but harms nobody but oneself.
This isn't true. For example the arrogance of dictators usually harms their nation and people.
Trump, the most extreme example of an overinflated sense of self I've seen, is as arrogant as one can be, but that's not the immoral aspect of him.
Why would immorality only apply to how we affect others and not to how we affect ourselves? Seems to me the one relates to the other.
His immorality lies in his acts that harm others.
I can hardly believe that Trump suddenly turns into a saint every time he is by himself. I wonder, does it even make sense to consider a person always moral when alone or not effecting others with their actions but immoral otherwise?

When I use words like arrogance, pride, justice, mercy, truth, faith, and love, I don't mean what a Christian typically means.
I'd have to disagree. Its been my experience that a Christian will use a word found in a language the same way that word is defined in that language.
The attitude with which one approaches the words may be different though. Unless one blatantly redefines the word to mean something else or equivocates within their arguments which lends to making the word informationally dubious. But that hasn't been my experience even between me and you. I generally acknowledge how your defining pride etc. and am using the same or very similar meaning in my argument. The attitude we approach these words may be different though. For example, where you see pride as you define it as a virtue I see it as a vice.
 

It Aint Necessarily So

Veteran Member
Premium Member
A Christian would recognize this as a perfectly reasonable definition.

Are you aware that I am a former Christian? I don't need you to tell what Christianity is. I know how the Christians I encountered think and speak.

once we understand what Christianity is saying about pride we can examine why Christians approach pride the way they do and I think they generally have it correct.

Once again, I don't need anybody to tell me what Christians mean by pride. Their description of pride is the sin of thinking that you know better than Jesus or God, or more correctly, those speaking for them.

Freethinking is not discouraged by Jesus.

Great, because I believe he died like any other mortal man. I would have thought that were Jesus who Christians claim he is, he might disapprove of that idea. Just kidding. As I explained, I don't need help understanding Christian doctrine. Freethinking is discouraged by every aspect of the religion except its apologetics, where creativity is a must.

Christians but scripture encourages Christians to meditate upon what has been said and to be prepared to defend your faith with reason.

You can't defend faith-based beliefs with reason. Reason wasn't used to arrive at them, which is why they are irrational.

Christianity embraces faith in God but it is a faith supplemented by rationality.

Those are empty words. There is no sound argument that ends, "Therefore God." One must begin with that as a faith-based premise.

Actually the scientific method (a bastion of freethinkers ) was birthed from Christian thinkers.

The scientific method was not derived from any Christian principle. It is based in skepticism and empiricism, which is the application of valid reason to evidence to arrive at sound conclusions.

Newton was one of those Christians to which you refer. In Principia, Newton gives a mathematical formulation of the celestial mechanics of the solar system that could have been written by any atheist and contains zero insights from Christianity. Where his faith did enter the picture was when his mathematics, which were incomplete, suggested that the large planets ought to toss planets like earth out of the solar system or into the sun.

Here's where Newton went to his religion and suggested that God occasionally nudges the planets back into orbit around the sun. Here was the part n atheist could have written. It's also the part that needed to be excised, which occurred a century later when LaPlace created the necessary mathematics, and yet another job once assigned to a god was shown to not require one.

Yes, Christians can do good science, but only if they leave their religion outside of the laboratory or observatory door. So Christian thinkers, yes, but Christian thought, no.

How did you ensure you were in a position to have choices to make in the first place? How did you ensure that you could have a coherent mind and enough knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence to make any decisions?

I didn't. I merely navigated the playing field I was born onto skillfully, and take pride in that. I was given a multitude of gifts through no action of my own, and use them in the pursuit of happiness as I understood it. And guess what? I found it. I lived life my way, and as a result, enjoy a life of love, beauty, leisure, and peace of mind absent shame, guilt, or remorse. I don't go to any religion to tell me how I should feel about that or anything else.

I understand that the believer is not allowed to feel that way, and apparently in your case, doesn't want others to feel that way either, but that is because he has allowed others to tell him how to be, others whose agenda is not the pursuit of their happiness, but rather, their compliance with the faith, which finds like the military that that is accomplished by diminishing independent thought and by convincing the recruit or supplicant that he is the functional equivalent of a maggot. It requires destroying one's sense of autonomy or of having anything to contribute beyond obedience. How many Christian hymns and prayers depict man as an unworthy worm lucky to not automatically be cast into fire but for grace? How is that different from the psychology of basic training or a prison or POW camp regarding self-worth?

I reject ideologies of despair - of human incompetence and dependence on a god. I'm a humanist. Humanists celebrate the potential of man and encourage its development through education and social opportunity as was done for me, and which includes a strong sense of self to accomplish goals and assume positions of leadership in society promoting the humanist vision of tolerance and reason in the face of backlash from the religions and other authoritarian isms.

The "self" doesn't accomplish anything of its own accord.

Disagree. Human beings accomplish much. I have accomplished much. I guess you have no sense of pride of accomplishment. That's unfortunate. There is no reason not to take satisfaction in a life lived intelligently and uprightly. It's the opposite of the regret that follows a life lived badly.

I use the word how Christianity uses the word.

I know how Christianity uses the word meek. It changes it to humble, because meekness is certainly not a blessing or a virtue.

The terms are related in Christianity.

No, they are synonyms in Christianity, but not outside of it. Look at the context in which the word appears in scripture - the Sermon on the Mount - to understand what the word means. What is the message there? It is to stand down rather than rise up and assert oneself when exploited or oppressed. Be meek and don't assert yourself. Be longsuffering. If stricken, meekly offer the other cheek like fraternity hazing where one is asked to request additional abuse. Why? God commands it and will reward you when you're dead if you'll just not assert yourself in life, where at last you will be an equal living in a celestial mansion. This is what they mean by pie-in-the-sky. If you want desert later, you'll have to choke down you Brussels sprouts now.

A humble person need not be meek, and generally is not. One can have a tremendous amount of justified confidence in one's abilities yet be bold, assertive, and courageous

Speaking of changing the meanings of words, how about turn the other cheek being changed into something else. What Christian will agree that those words mean that if stricken, rather than walk away or try to negotiate a peace or at a minimum covering one's face, one should offer another cheek to be stricken? It's terrible advice to give one you love, but exactly what might sell a religion to an Emperor who intends to exploit to people. It worked. Constantine loved it, and not because he believed meekness wasn't meekness or turning the other cheek wasn't instruction to never resist authority.

I never thought this way as a believer. As you know, we don't permit ourselves to have such thoughts. But as a humanist, I was able to go back and look at these things more objectively and free to identify the warts. That's why you and I see these things so differently, and always will as long as one of us is a Christian and the other a humanist.
 

HeatherAnn

Active Member
….One typical sign of arrogance is constant criticism and abuse - they don't prove that their better, they just try to give the impression that they are by 'correcting' and demeaning others - it's a game.
And yet, in truth, confident people make others feel confident, real tough people always protect those around them, but losers, tyrants and the arrogant always bring out the worst in others.

Ask yourself, which one are you, and why?
Good questions! Self reflection is key, as is feedback. Business often pay for feedback - so they improve & succeed rather than fail. Yet, how many people do you know who love personal feedback?

Seems there’s a balance between asserting oneself/not giving others false pride… & …humbly building others up.
 

DNB

Christian
Good questions! Self reflection is key, as is feedback. Business often pay for feedback - so they improve & succeed rather than fail. Yet, how many people do you know who love personal feedback?

Seems there’s a balance between asserting oneself/not giving others false pride… & …humbly building others up.
Yes, being introspective is not always easy - often we won't like what we see, or be able to accept it. But, as you said, other people's reactions are extremely tell-tale of how we are portraying ourselves, and being perceived by others. But, of course, a critique is only as good as the source - we can't trust either everyone's, or just anyone's, opinion.

Yes, there's a fine line between assertiveness versus imposition. Between firmness and conviction, against austerity and being dogmatic.

In my opinion, arrogance is delusion - a view over-and-above one's actual worth. Thus, to fill in the gap between reality and their esteem of themselves, they can only resort to criticizing others - as opposed to having others gratuitously and sincerely praise them.
 

HeatherAnn

Active Member
Yes, being introspective is not always easy - often we won't like what we see, or be able to accept it. But, as you said, other people's reactions are extremely tell-tale of how we are portraying ourselves, and being perceived by others. But, of course, a critique is only as good as the source - we can't trust either everyone's, or just anyone's, opinion.

Yes, there's a fine line between assertiveness versus imposition. Between firmness and conviction, against austerity and being dogmatic.

In my opinion, arrogance is delusion - a view over-and-above one's actual worth. Thus, to fill in the gap between reality and their esteem of themselves, they can only resort to criticizing others - as opposed to having others gratuitously and sincerely praise them.
Good points. Something that stood out to me is “arrogance is delusion.” So true! It can deceive not only others but themselves! Or I should say myself too - because there have been times when I thought I was better in some way than others… only to be slapped by reality when realizing there are others better.

Confidence is so alluring - especially in dating. But how many times it’s really delusional arrogance!
 
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DNB

Christian
Good points. Something that stood out to me is “arrogance is delusion.” So true! It can deceive not only others but themselves! Or I should say myself too - because there have been times when I thought I was better in some way than others… only to be slapped by reality when realizing there are others better.

Confidence is so alluring - especially in dating. But how many times it’s really delusional arrogance!
Yes, good point also - when dating we can all relate to how 'attractive' it is in regard to the way that one carries themselves. But, until we see what the catalyst is behind their 'confidence' - their looks, their wealth, their race, their strength, as opposed to their integrity, altruism, sense of responsibility and duty, work ethic, etc...?

I find often that in life, many worthless people walk around with their heads held high, while the truly valuable are meek and unassuming.
Like Stevie Wonder said: '...big men feeling small, small men feeling tall...' (They Won't Go When I Go).
 
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