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Obsessive love

Discussion in 'Health & Healing' started by Riders, Aug 23, 2019.

  1. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    So there's been a lot about porn and sex addiction on RF by me and a couple of others. But not much about obsessive love or love addiction. Some people go psycho and chase people till the either kill them or end up in jail and kill themselves.

    I don't know about that stuff, id rather talk about obsessive love that's less dangerous and more common with mentally ill people.I have had obsessive compulsions on celebrity's but sense It never got dangerous, I never followed or contacted any of them except on twitter.

    But anyways, I did get to meet New Kids On the Block back stage but i felt afterwards it was a dangerous place for me to be.But I acted right, I didn't go psycho I got my hugs Donnie Wahlberg shook my hand for 3 seconds before I left I thought Id die.

    Anyways it went well luckily I didn't turn into a pscyho. But I did have an OCD on Donnie Wahlberg and also The Doors and The Rolling Stones.
    I mean so i know what its like.

    Today I don't allow myself to get hooked on any one specific group. I listen to all music groups different kinds of music so i don't get OCDs.

    I do know a few people though who have been obsessed with other people objects if affection who don't want them.

    A lot of times it takes medication.
    I watched the reunion,of Beverly Hills 90210 a bit ago and was watching the actress who played the Emily Valentine character who psycho obsessed on Brandon in the 90s.

    I agree with something that was said on that show amazingly enough. Andrea said, because Emily had moved around from town to town she was probably looking towards Brandon to provide her with stability.

    Its true. When NKOTB first reunited all their fans were keeping up with them night and day I read everything Donnie Wahlberg would tweet and kept up with what he was doing all the time by reading tweets and constantly talking to other fans.

    By knowing they were traveling around and talking about them all the time, it is true, its like I had nothing going on in my life and no stability so it really is like they provided me with stability.
    The fans were keeping up with me spoke all the time so it was a 24 hour a day party.

    I think this happens a lot. I've been Sex Addicts Anonymous for a while, and there are other love addicts there.

    I think its true, it's kind of like having a partner or lover or spouse whatever is a way for some people to get a life, to get some stability or sense of well being in their life. Having a family life. NKOTB fans are like my family but I don't follow them anymore.

    Anyways yea it is easy to do that replace a family life or stability with a lover. So I am just curious if there are any other love addicts or folks who have had OCDs on people here. If not are then any other OCD folks who would like to weigh in?
     
  2. MikeDwight

    MikeDwight Well-Known Member

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    I like this topic, it can have a lot of false positives. I try pretty successfully to be presentable and also not to be pursuing personal interests at any time in public.


    Think of how a modern ear may hear the sheet music to Lorena. In fact, it would be ridiculous to ridicule this lone male in writing a distant woman. First off in the period, courting is practiced, gentleman callers, the entire family would approve of a match or not. This Reverend was rejected due to adequate support. All the same, it would be Fitting anyway to be writing a well-wishing letter such as his famous song here. There's no gain even pictured or attempt to regain an engagement and the woman married in Ohio someone else, that was just the courtesy of the situation, and we had far more systems in place I'd say than personal gratification.

    The years creep slowly by, Lorena
    The snow is on the grass again
    The sun's low down the sky, Lorena
    The frost gleams where the flowers have been
    But my heart beats on as warmly now
    As when the summer days were nigh
    The sun can never dip so low
    Or down affections cloudless sky

    A hundred months have passed, Lorena
    Since last I held that hand in mine
    And felt the pulse beat fast, Lorena
    Though mine beat faster far than thine

    A hundred months, 'twas flowery May
    When up the hilly slope we climbed
    To watch the dying of the day
    And hear the distant church bells chime

    We loved each other then, Lorena
    More than we ever dared to tell
    And what we might have been, Lorena
    Had but our loving prospered well
    But then, 'tis past, the years are gone
    I'll not call up their shadowy form
    I'll say to them, "lost years, sleep on,
    Sleep on, nor heed life's pelting storms

    The story of that past, Lorena
    Alas! I care not to repeat
    The hopes that could not last, Lorena
    They lived, but only lived to cheat
    I would not cause them one regret
    To rankle in your bosom now
    For "If we try, we may forget"
    Were words of thine long years ago

    Yes, these were words of thine, Lorena
    They burn within my memory yet
    They touched some tender chords, Lorena
    Which thrill and tremble with regret
    'Twas not thy woman's heart that spoke
    Thy heart was always true to me
    A duty, stern and pressing, broke
    The tie which linked my soul with thee


    It matters little now, Lorena
    The past is in the eternal past
    Our heads will soon lie low, Lorena
    Life's tide is ebbing out so fast
    There is a future! O, thank God
    Of life this is so small a part
    'Tis dust to dust beneath the sod
    But there, up there, 'tis heart to heart
     
  3. InChrist

    InChrist Free4ever

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    I think there will always be additions for love or other things until people fill the void in their lives with God's love for which I believe we were created to exist in.
     
  4. Milton Platt

    Milton Platt Well-Known Member
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    I think love and obsession are two different things.
     
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  5. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    I do think a lack of spirituality quite often is influencing any addiction.
     
  6. sealchan

    sealchan Well-Known Member

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    What is it about spirituality that counters addiction do you think?
     
  7. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Well if you are addicted to something weather it be drugs sex love whatever it means you are craving an abnormal amount of what it is your addicted to. Ashockingly high amount enough to kill you or drive you crazy. You have a hunger for something but sense your hunger for whatever you are addicted to is too high,, your hunger is misplaced, your really hungry for something else and your projecting that hunger onto your addiction.

    Sometimes its hungry for spirituality or peace, or a oneness with yourself, or hungry for love, but they say spirituality can help fill up that hunger. I dont believe you have to believe in God to do that. There are spiritual atheists who are in the program of AA 12 step programs but not many. They choose to meditate instead of pray. I meditate mostly.

    But your empty and hungry all the time when your addicted so you got to fill that hunger spot somehow.......
     
  8. Milton Platt

    Milton Platt Well-Known Member
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    There are ways to counter an addiction that do not involve spirituality as well. You basically just need a strong motivation to make a difficult change occur.
    What does spirituality mean, anyway?
     
  9. sealchan

    sealchan Well-Known Member

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    I agree..and whether one calls that misplaced hunger a psychological or a spiritual problem may not be important. It is the failure, perhaps, to satisfy the instinctual desire in a way that is both personally satisfying or socially acceptable that is the issue.

    I see our instincts as the albeit imperfect source of motivation or willpower in our psyche. As such they present to us the will to act toward a more or less specific goal. Our social reality provides the vital context for how we go about attaining those goals. Also, the instincts run on timers...delay of gratification comes at a cost. That cost is psychic energy which builds up and potentially overwhelms the ego causing it to act in ways that one might not be able to rationally or morally account for.

    Having lived with several family members who suffered from acute addiction, I came to understand that to restrain a healthier lifestyle, you must establish new patterns of response to those things that trigger you to take that maladaptive and misplaced action. Addictions carve deep channels into ones psyche, ones intuition and to avoid taking that path requires a great deal of effort and intention. And I can see that a spiritual approach would be a good way to try to accomplish that redirection of ones will.
     
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