It is heartbreaking, and for me, always has been.
When I was very young, I never knew a black person, not my fault, there just weren't any around where I was. The first black man I ever knew was a professional in a home for emotionally disturbed children in Ottawa, when I was 10. (Yes, having been almost killed by my step-father twice before I was 7, and beaten into hospital many times, I was messed up.)
The first really strong interaction I had with this counsellor was when I was having a 50 megaton meltdown, and sent to the detention room (if anybody asks, I'll explain about that -- it's better than it sounds). He was there to help me, and I farted in his face. Guess what? He farted in mine, too, and asked me how I liked it. I was absolutely incensed. We had a good relationship after that, for reasons I can't begin to describe.
Later, at a boarding school run by Quakers, I had several friends who were black. I admit, it was still sort of new to me, but the atmosphere was one of mutual acceptance, and eventually it rubbed off on me.
Now, I am one of the great celebrators of every culture, every race. I love ethnic street festivals (especially the food!). I work with people today, and in an office of 30 people, I am one of the only 3 whites. And I like it.
I don't know how I got here, really. I was never all that self-reflective about it. But for the same reason, I don't understand hate, either.