Learning to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior

[Thief]

I see people openly admitting that they use personal attacks as a way of trying to discredit what some people are saying, and I think that there are many more who do that continually without being aware of it and who would deny that they’re doing it. It’s a popular thing to do. It often gets “Like” ratings and sometimes even “Winner” ratings. I think that most or all of us fall into that sometimes even when we’re trying not to. I don’t think that discussions about it are going to do much to change any of that. What I think discussions might do is provide encouragement and ideas for those of us who want to, to help reduce and counteract the adverse effects. That was one of my reasons for starting this thread.

discussions by nature make division
and reaction can swell to point....and then the point has to be made

note my signature

 

[Jim]

I’ll list again some adverse effects that I see from toxic and distracting behavior, and some ideas for helping to reduce and counteract them.

Adverse effects:
- Injurious effects on the targets.
- Encouraging self-deception and self-repression, and discouraging free thinking and free exchange of ideas.
- Perpetuating and intensifying prejudices, animosities and hostilities all around.
- Inconveniences in trying to follow a discussion.
- Obscuring and confusing the issues in the topic being discussed.

Ideas for helping to reduce and counteract them:
- Learn when to not respond to posts and even to some people posting sometimes, and not even mention them. Learn to recognize all the devious ways that people try to set other people up for personal attacks against them. Again, that may or may not be conscious or intentional.
- Don’t be fooled by people denying and excusing toxic behavior, and blaming the targets for its injurious effects on them.
- Friendly ratings, and friendly posts or PMs to targets of personal attacks. Sometimes those attacks are camouflaged so well that even the targets don’t realize what’s happening to them. Learning more about signs and symptoms of verbal abuse can help with that. Be prepared to become a target of the same abuse, and even take arrows from the targets sometimes.
- Learn to recognize when you’re being diverted away from your topic. After a series of distracting posts, bring yourself back to topic, and post an update on your thoughts about it.
- Learn to resist the temptation to post uncomplimentary thoughts about a person’s character, motives or intentions.
- Practice and promote spiritual growth and community service, with the best kind of love for all of nature including all people everywhere.

 

[Revoltingest]

I see people openly admitting that they use personal attacks as a way of trying to discredit what some people are saying, and I think that there are many more who do that continually without being aware of it and who would deny that they’re doing it. It’s a popular thing to do. It often gets “Like” ratings and sometimes even “Winner” ratings. I think that most or all of us fall into that sometimes even when we’re trying not to.

I see the same thing.
But this is the point where I must tread lightly.
Too many posters who know better willfully
go against the forum's mission.

 

[Jim]

I see the same thing.
But this is the point where I must tread lightly.
Too many posters who know better willfully
go against the forum's mission.

As I said, I don’t think that will change any time soon. That’s why I’m focusing on helping to reduce and counteract the adverse effects.

 

[Revoltingest]

As I said, I don’t think that will change any time soon. That’s why I’m focusing on helping to reduce and counteract the adverse effects.

We have a list of tools.
We have like minded folk.
We will see.
But it'll be tough with an election coming up.

 

[Jim]

We have a list of tools.
We have like minded folk.
We will see.
But it'll be tough with an election coming up.

For my purposes, any little bit we can do is better than nothing. Just part of a healthy way of life, for me. I’m very glad to have some company along the way. Thanks.

 

[Jim]

We have a list of tools.
We have like minded folk.
We will see.
But it'll be tough with an election coming up.

I see your satire threads as one of the best remedies. Just seeing the titles does me a lot of good.

 

[Revoltingest]

I see your satire threads as one of the best remedies. Just seeing the titles does me a lot of good.

Gotta remind people to have some fun here.

 

[Twilight Hue]

This can be about toxic and distracting behavior online or offline. I’ve learned some habits and skills to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior. Maybe others have too. Maybe we can learn from each other, and help other people learn too.

I learned two things.

1) grow a pair. Testicles and Teflon skin.

2) ignore the idiot and let them rant and rave on. Just smoke a cigarette, drink a beer or coffee or what not and vacantly stare at him or her as the spectacle could be quite entertaining.