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Learning to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior

Jim

Nets of Wonder
Now I’m learning to recognize disruptive behavior, and stop responding to it.
 

Darkforbid

Well-Known Member
Not Thinking everything that doesn't match your view is toxic would be a good start add a bit of actual counter argument and you'd be on to a winner
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
Another thing I’ve learned is to just ignore the lame excuses that people make up for toxic behavior, and not argue with them about it. That includes the idea that the only thing that makes it a problem is people taking it too seriously or personally.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
There are various ways that people try to deflect and derail discussions about toxic behavior. I’ve already mentioned the idea that the only problem is people taking it too seriously or too personally. Another is pretending that toxic behavior is nothing but people disagreeing with what someone is saying. The diversion tactics are endless, so I won’t try to list them all. Just a thought for anyone who is interested in the topic that it might better to just ignore all the diversion tactics and not argue about them.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
I’ve also learned that after a few days people lose interest in derailing the same thread, and move on to other ones, allowing the discussion to continue on topic, if there is anyone who wants to.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
What's toxic for one is a delight for another.
We could use the rules of RF as a guide, eh.
Perceived toxicity due to one's belief's is acceptable,
while being due to insult is not.....usually (there have
been exceptions I fail to understand. OK, I do
understand, but cannot say.)
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
We could use the rules of RF as a guide, eh.
Perceived toxicity due to one's belief's is acceptable,
while being due to insult is not.....usually (there have
been exceptions I fail to understand. OK, I do
understand, but cannot say.)

I think most of us try to do that most of the time. Still, many of us get accused of 'toxic' behavior from time to time, like being called a bully, or having an anti-_______ agenda. I guess it's up to the great judges in the sky, our mod team. Those poor blokes.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
There's two directions that occur to me. One is the practical level of what to do to minimize their impact. The other level is my attitude toward such people. I try and most of the time fail to embody this sage advice:

When I see beings of an evil disposition
Oppressed by heavy misdeeds and suffering,
May I, as if having discovered a jeweled treasure,
Cherish them as extremely precious
For they are rare to find!
 
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Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I think most of us try to do that most of the time. Still, many of us get accused of 'toxic' behavior from time to time, like being called a bully, or having an anti-_______ agenda. I guess it's up to the great judges in the sky, our mod team. Those poor blokes.
They have their perqs.
 

Darkforbid

Well-Known Member
Don't get baited by comments like this:

'until there is evidence that consciousness originates in or is dependent upon the brain'
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
In this post I’ll review some ideas that have already been posted. In another post I’ll discuss some adverse effects of toxic and disruptive behavior.
If someone is being abusive, say so.
Do this without responding in kind.
Be calm, civil & objective.
... not take anything personally.
... ignore posts, not respond to them at all and not even mention them. ... recognize more quickly hostile intentions behind friendly-looking questions and not respond to them at all in any way ...
... learning to make better use of the special purpose forums.
humor dealt in skillful sarcasm wit
... as if having discovered a jeweled treasure,
Cherish them as extremely precious
For they are rare to find!
Don't get baited ...
What I mean by ignoring posts is not that I put people on ignore, or stop reading their posts. I continue to read them. I just don’t respond to them, or even mention them. The temptation can be very hard to resist sometimes, and I still fail sometimes, but for my purposes, not responding at all to toxic and distracting behavior, not even mentioning it. is always the best response.
 
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Jim

Nets of Wonder
I’ll give some examples of adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior that I want to help reduce and counteract:
- Injurious effects on the targets.
- Encouraging self-deception and self-repression, and discouraging free thinking and free exchange of ideas.
- Perpetuation and intensification of prejudices animosities and hostilities all around.
- Inconveniences in trying to follow a discussion.
- Obscuring and confusing the issues in the topic being discussed.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
I don’t think of all toxic and distracting behavior as being consciously and intentionally toxic or distracting. It might be behavior that is learned unconsciously by being rewarded psychologically and socially. Most of the toxic behavior that I see in Internet discussions looks like unconscious virtue signaling to me, people trying to look good to some other people or to entertain them.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
One way that I see to help counteract injurious effects is with friendly ratings, and friendly posts or private messages, to targets of the abuse.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
Injurious personal attacks can be so skillfully camouflaged that even the targets don’t realize what is happening to them. It might be good for anyone who wants to help reduce the injurious effects of personal attacks, and their adverse effects on free thinking and free exchange of ideas, to study up on the signs and symptoms of verbal and psychological abuse.
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
I see people openly admitting that they use personal attacks as a way of trying to discredit what some people are saying, and I think that there are many more who do that continually without being aware of it and who would deny that they’re doing it. It’s a popular thing to do. It often gets “Like” ratings and sometimes even “Winner” ratings. I think that most or all of us fall into that sometimes even when we’re trying not to. I don’t think that discussions about it are going to do much to change any of that. What I think discussions might do is provide encouragement and ideas for those of us who want to, to help reduce and counteract the adverse effects. That was one of my reasons for starting this thread.
 
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