Learning to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior

[Jim]

This can be about toxic and distracting behavior online or offline. I’ve learned some habits and skills to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic and distracting behavior. Maybe others have too. Maybe we can learn from each other, and help other people learn too.

 

[Revoltingest]

There are many tools at hand.
I'll start off with just one...
If someone is being abusive, say so.
Do this without responding in kind.
Be calm, civil & objective.
It works on occasion.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I really don’t suffer adverse effects of toxic behavior because I do my best to not take anything personally.

 

[Revoltingest]

I really don’t suffer adverse effects of toxic behavior because I do my best not to take anything personally.

That is a good conscious decision to make.
(Some posts say much about the poster rather than their target.)
However, I do find that it requires effort.
And it takes some discipline to avoid some interactions with some people.
Or to limit what one says to what is productive....not all that is on one's mind.
This is just the least adverse of possible effects, eh.

 

[Jim]

This is about toxic behavior in Internet discussions. One of the most helpful skills that I’ve learned has been when to ignore posts, not respond to them at all and not even mention them. For example, I’ve learned to recognize more quickly hostile intentions behind friendly-looking questions and not respond to them at all in any way, not even For The Lurkers. I’ve found better ways to say what I want to say for lurkers if I want to.

 

[Jim]

I really don’t suffer adverse effects of toxic behavior because I do my best to not take anything personally.

Then why are you complaining about it?

 

[SalixIncendium]

This is about toxic behavior in Internet discussions. One of the most helpful skills that I’ve learned has been when to ignore posts, not respond to them at all and not even mention them. For example, I’ve learned to recognize more quickly hostile intentions behind friendly-looking questions and not respond to them at all in any way, not even For The Lurkers. I’ve found better ways to say what I want to say for lurkers if I want to.

That said, I think it’s best not to assume intent. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction, even if it’s to ignore, isn’t the optimal one.

Whenever intent isn’t obvious, I make it a habit to ask for clarification rather than make assumptions.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Then why are you complaining about it?

Please see my previous post about making assumptions.

 

[Jim]

To reduce the amount of interference in discussions that I want to have with others, I’ve been learning to make better use of the special purpose forums. It’s taking some time and practice to learn the right ones to use, but it’s been working very well for me.

 

[Jim]

Please see my previous post about making assumptions.

That doesn’t answer my question. Do you see toxic behavior as a problem? If so, what makes it a problem?

 

[SalixIncendium]

That doesn’t answer my question. Do you see toxic behavior as a problem? If so, what makes it a problem?

Your original question had no merit, as I wasn’t complaining. That was your assumption.

I see toxic behavior as problematic when one of three things result:

1. The behavior does harm to another.
2. The behavior contributes nothing productive to the topic and/or serves no other purpose than to do harm to another.
3. The behavior violates the rules of the venue.

 

[Jim]

Your original question had no merit, as I wasn’t complaining.

Did you have some beneficial purpose in mind, when you started that thread?

 

[SalixIncendium]

Did you have sime beneficial purpose in mind, when you started that thread?

Yes.

 

[Father Heathen]

 

[Thief]

This can be about toxic behavior online or offline. I’ve learned some habits and skills to help reduce and counteract adverse effects of toxic behavior. Maybe others have too. Maybe we can learn from each other, and help other people learn too.

humor

dealt in skillful sarcasm wit

 

[Thief]

I really don’t suffer adverse effects of toxic behavior because I do my best to not take anything personally.

oh sure...that's what YOU say

 

[Thief]

hehehehe

 

[Jim]

Yes.

Sorry, I keep asking the wrong questions. If you’ve learned any habits or skills to help reduce and counteract adverse effects from toxic behavior, I hope you will post them.

 

[Revoltingest]

In honor of @oldbadger (a tireless foe of toxicity), I offer a British Avengers theme....

 

[SalixIncendium]

Sorry, I keep asking the wrong questions. If you’ve learned any habits or skills to help reduce and counteract adverse effects from toxic behavior, I hope you will post them.

If I think of others, I’ll be sure to do so. But, in my experience, the one I did post is the most effective.