What im hoping will occur is I do His will, am enlightened, receive wisdom and understanding, and know how to listen to the Holy Spirit. I'm hoping I can learn how to discern His will.
Yes, a voice would be nice, but if there is another way to receive his instruction and obey, than that is good enough for me. I'm lost and wasting all time and talent and filled with confusing thoughts and prospects, begging God for instruction and not receiving it. It's complicated!
I receive inspirations and insight in my heart, but don't know how to discern what is from God and what isn't. It's been a ridiculous life and currently I'm in a bit of a mental institution, hoping for a homeless shelter, am full of defects, and just don't know what to do. I'm fed up! He must be testing me.
Are you allowed to have pen and paper? I've only been in a mental institution once but public and they didn't allow practically anything. If they do, though, ask them to give you probably two papers. One onside put your beliefs about god-positive beliefs. The flip side put your situation and what you're going through. The second paper write the negative things you believe about god. If they let you have a bible, on the other side of that paper,
just find things in the bible that
correlate to the positive things.
If you put you believe god is love because of X, Y, and Z look in the back of the bible, find what verses or books talk about love (and faith like Hebrews and Romans), and jot down verses that speak to you. (That speak to you: many christians interpret that as god's voice. It is
also your conscious talking to you).
When you finish with the full page, go back to your situation. Try to find match verses that are on your second page to meditate on and help you with your situation. When you ready, go to your negative version of god and see if you can kind of compare the verses that popped out at you verses your bias or views you already had of god you may not have seen otherwise.
When that's all through (I know long) go to your positive side, and pat yourself on the back for seeing there are some positive things about your faith. It was there you just had to go through the process of
1. Brainstorming (write down positive things you believe about god)
2. Acknowledge your situation (what is messing with you that you would like god to help you with)
3. Acknowledge your emotions (what are the negative things about god you are made at)
4. Find verses in the bible that correlate to number 1.
5. Reflect on your sitation with those verses for number 2.
6. When you're ready, go to 3 and analyze if that is actually what the bible teaches or what you personally feel comparing it to the verses that spoke to you
7. Pat yourself on the back and read your first page. You may find similarities in belief that your negativity may be shielding you against.
Also, I like
@George-ananda advice. In my words, god is an experience not an external being. If you look at your answers, you may find they all have to do with your and people's feelings and experiences. It's up to you to see it literally; but most religious text aren't taken literally.
If you have access to a library, maybe a physical book about the saints may help. They gone through a lot.
Just sayin.