if your girlfriends parents didn't give you their blessing to marry her

[kloth]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

 

[Gjallarhorn]

If the problem is their own and neither of us care, yes.


Then again I'd be wondering why I practiced such an antiquated act as acting the parents in the first place. She isn't property.

 

[Penumbra]

If I like a guy, I'm not factoring in his parents at all.

The disapproval of his parents would only be a problem for me if it was a problem for him.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Then again I'd be wondering why I practiced such an antiquated act as acting the parents in the first place. She isn't property.

That was my thought, too. If she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to make her own decisions. She can get advice from her parents if she wants it, but she's also free to disregard their opinion.

 

[Vinayaka]

Boss's parents were no happy with her choice, but they wouldn't have been happy with any choice. Nobody was good enough. We were in the process of adopting Hinduism together. Her parents blamed me, and my parents blamed her. In reality it was all my cousin's fault.

 

[bobhikes]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

First I would have asked my Girlfriend if it was OK to ask her parents for their permission to marry before I asked them. She was the first one that should know and respond. Then family is very important in my life. It would be extremely hard for me to be excluded from my wives family and to cause discord in her family. Ultimately I would put this all on the table for my girlfriend and let her decide. I have already decided.

 

[bobhikes]

If the problem is their own and neither of us care, yes.


Then again I'd be wondering why I practiced such an antiquated act as acting the parents in the first place. She isn't property.

It is very much still a value added act to starting a marriage. You are going to have to deal with your partners family many times in your marriage. If you think your not don't bother getting married it won't last.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

It is very much still a value added act to starting a marriage. You are going to have to deal with your partners family many times in your marriage. If you think your not don't bother getting married it won't last.

No doubt family is something you also get with a marriage, but explicitly asking them for your future spouse's hand in marriage is to reduce them to the level of a car or a dog or a pair of pants.

 

[Nymphs]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

My husband asked me to marry him before consulting my parents. At the time, because of our conservative religious backgrounds, it was slightly scandalous -- but we got over it quickly.

It is her and his choice, not their parents.

 

[freethinker44]

I didn't ask for permission. It wouldn't have stopped us from getting married so I don't see what the point is. Just some outdated tradition.

 

[Drolefille]

I already would have asked my girlfriend first. But if that was going to be a problem, I think we would have known that they wouldn't approve already. And so we probably would be getting married anyway.

 

[bobhikes]

No doubt family is something you also get with a marriage, but explicitly asking them for your future spouse's hand in marriage is to reduce them to the level of a car or a dog or a pair of pants.

Only if you believe this to be so. I see it as the parents of my wife are important to her. It is important to make a good impression on her parents. My wife asked me to ask her father.

I would have took them out to dinner and told both parents that we wished to get married and would like their approval.

 

[Levite]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

I would not marry someone of a different religion, so this wouldn't come up.

If this was a matter of me dating a Jewish girl, and her parents disliking me because I was either too Jewishly liberal or too Jewishly traditional for them, I would consider it unfortunate, but in the end, it's not up to them who their daughter marries. If the girl and I wanted to be married, we would get married, and her parents would just have to suck it up.

Fortunately, Mrs. Levite's family and I get along quite well, they see two rabbis as being a good match for one another....

 

[DreadFish]

If it's ok with the woman that I marry, it's ok with me.

I like the idea of asking for a blessing, at least, because it's a nice gesture of respect toward the parents, showing them that you also care about family, but I would not let them stop us from marrying if we both wanted to. I don't think I would ask the father before asking the daughter.

Religion wouldn't really be a potential problem for me unless she was Abrahamic. That might make things difficult because my view is much different.

 

[Nymphs]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

And in my personal situation, yes. I'm not going to give love up because someone else doesn't approve.

 

[1137]

I probably wouldn't ask at all. While I'm a "gentleman" I don't think treating your love as owned property is very "classy". Goes without saying that if I asked and they said no I wouldn't mind at all. If religion is an issue then I think she would have told you so before hand.

 

[edwinic]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

Hi, what is a blessing? Why should it matter to you?

 

[Apex]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

I refused to ask my wife's parents when I proposed. She even told me that her dad would be expecting it. I told her upfront I would not do it. It was her decision, not her parents.

 

[BSM1]

and if their reason was because you guys don't have the same religious beliefs, and that's the only reason why they don't give you their blessing.

would you still ask her to marry you, despite them refusing the blessing? even if she is still willing to marry you?

No offense, but what century do you live in?

 

[edwinic]

No offense, but what century do you live in?

In certain part of the world, right now, some men could get engaged without having seen the girl personally.