I really need help with no fap (serious)

[Knowledge Gourmet]

I tried to start day one of no fap yesterday, but I relapsed. I am really trying to stay strong and break my addiction to masturbation. When I masturbate it placates me and causes me to lose desire to interact with real women. I also certainly believe the Taoist philosophy of masturbation draining your life force.

Does anyone have any tips oR meditations that could help me to stop? I was hoping for those meditations that make sexual energy rise to the other chakras.

I read something where a Hindu guru said that stored male sexual energy becomes spiritual energy in the brain. Is this true?

Any other tips on why masturbation is bad?

I came here from a bodybuilding forum and everyone over there preaches the benefits of "no fap." They all claim it helped them become more confident,happy, and courageous in meeting real women.

PLEASE HELP ME TRIUMPH OVER THIS ADDICTION BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

NAMASTE!

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam,

@Domenic
This is the Dharmic religion directory, if you don't have a respectful answer toward the OP and Dharmic religions, please refrain from posting mocking comments.

Aum Namah Shivaya

 

[chinu]

I tried to start day one of no fap yesterday, but I relapsed. I am really trying to stay strong and break my addiction to masturbation. When I masturbate it placates me and causes me to lose desire to interact with real women. I also certainly believe the Taoist philosophy of masturbation draining your life force.

Does anyone have any tips oR meditations that could help me to stop? I was hoping for those meditations that make sexual energy rise to the other chakras.

I read something where a Hindu guru said that stored male sexual energy becomes spiritual energy in the brain. Is this true?

Any other tips on why masturbation is bad?

I came here from a bodybuilding forum and everyone over there preaches the benefits of "no fap." They all claim it helped them become more confident,happy, and courageous in meeting real women.

PLEASE HELP ME TRIUMPH OVER THIS ADDICTION BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
NAMASTE!

Asking brothers and sisters , Oh! god.

 

[InformedIgnorance]

Why would it be strange to ask for help from people of either gender? Masturbation is not solely the province of one gender, so members of another gender might have pertinent advice to impart.

It is difficult to know without having any indication as to your gender and age (given that libido differs between genders and age) however there are certain periods within our development that our libidos are naturally significantly enhanced. While I personally do not see it as being something immoral or something that would need to be prevented, I might perhaps suggest not going 'cold turkey' as it were, but rather to diminish the number of times that you relieve your urges gradually.

It is also worth examining the use of exercise as a means by which to divert the body's attention or meditation - though this latter is probably not as effective until you are competent at it. If exercise is for whatever reason impractical, personally I would suggest ensuring that any area in which you are sensitive is not being stimulated in any form be it pressure, friction, air flow etc (and just as importantly that such stimulation remain constant, not changing or repeating, but rather fixed) and attempting to strongly engage your thoughts on something important etc. It is worth noting however that given our bodies natural inclinations such methods will not always succeed, this should be expected and is not a failing, but merely an indicator that you are not yet to your goal.

 

[chinu]

Why would it be strange to ask for help from people of either gender?

Not, strange to ask such kind of help from people of either gender, Just strange to ask people in relation of mother, father, brothers, sisters

 

[InformedIgnorance]

Why? Of all people shouldn't our family be the least judgmental and the most willing to help?

As a term of address it is far from unique, it is only projecting social prejudice about sexual immorality that the use of such a term might be construed as being 'strange'.

 

[apophenia]

Not, strange to ask such kind of help from people of either gender, Just strange to ask people in relation of mother, father, brothers, sisters

Calling people 'brothers and sisters' is a common way of referring to the community, especially a community of like-minded people. For example muslims and christians call other muslims and christians 'brothers and sisters'. Lots of different communities (racial, religious, political) use that language. It is not about immediate biological family in this case.

I think you know that Chinu.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

My advice: find a hobby.

 

[chinu]

Calling people 'brothers and sisters' is a common way of referring to the community, especially a community of like-minded people. For example muslims and christians call other muslims and christians 'brothers and sisters'. Lots of different communities (racial, religious, political) use that language. It is not about immediate biological family in this case.

I think you know that Chinu.

I don't know why, But the last line of this OP just made me laugh

 

[mazaburein]

OK, so seriously, there are two general approaches to this. Both are difficult in different ways.

The first approach concerns gently channeling your attention away from things that are arousing, both mentally and in the environment around you. Sexual energy is simply energy that is expressed sexually. Without arousal the energy that would go into sexual thoughts and feelings can find other routes instead. This approach is usually counterproductive unless you choose spiritual retreat from everyday life and live like a hermit. By counterproductive I mean just doesn't work. From what you've said spiritual retreat isn't your intention.

The second approach involves using the build up of sexual energy to help drive you forward, or drive you crazy depending on how things go. I'm sure the second approach is what people on that body building forum are talking about. The trick is delaying gratification. Simply denying yourself won't work. Instead you have to channel sexual energy towards achieving things that make you feel better than a quick fap session. Essentially that's all there is to it. The core principle is simple. However, in practice its a considerably tough discipline and there is a lot to learn and master.

 

[Jainarayan]

I tried to start day one of no fap yesterday, but I relapsed. I am really trying to stay strong and break my addiction to masturbation. When I masturbate it placates me and causes me to lose desire to interact with real women. I also certainly believe the Taoist philosophy of masturbation draining your life force.

If you prefer to fap instead of any kind of social interaction, I'd say it's a problem. How many times a day are you doing it? Depending on how old you are, it could be raging hormones. I personally don't hold with the "fapping is bad" school of thought.

Any other tips on why masturbation is bad?

Except for the above mentioned avoidance of social interaction (I should talk about being a loner! ), I can't think of any. You mentioned not wanting to be with a "real woman", which may just mean you are not comfortable having sex, and maybe you shouldn't. Besides, if you crack one off or have sex, you are still going to lose your "sexual energy" or force or vitality or whatever it's called. You get tired and lose energy because two hormones are released from the brain... oxytocin and prolactin. That's what makes a guy roll over and go to sleep while his partner curses him out under her breath about not wanting to talk. For gay men, it's no problem, both fall asleep. :biglaugh:

I came here from a bodybuilding forum and everyone over there preaches the benefits of "no fap." They all claim it helped them become more confident,happy, and courageous in meeting real women.

"Fappage", "I'd fap to that", "fap", "no fap"... bodybuilding dot com, the Teen or Misc section, eh? They all yank each others' chains, no pun intended, and they're yanking yours.

 

[Knowledge Gourmet]

Thank you for the serious replies! Also, for those who didn't give serious replies....please respect the (serious) tag.

I am a 26 year old male. I started vigorously exercising about a month ago, and that has only caused my sex drive to increase and my erections to become more frequent!

I noticed that nearly every single religion seems to have some type of tenet against bachelors masturbating. I think there may be more to it than just that it's "immoral."

Firstly, I'd like to detox myself from pornography. I don't want my brain to become accustom to seeing women being degraded and doing disgusting things.

Secondly, after a fap session I will just roll over and forget about real women. According to Taoist beliefs when you fap you drain yourself of Qi, but when you're making love with a woman you replenish one another's Qi.

You can go type in "no fap" on youtube right now and find hundreds of testimonials of men who have had their lives changes simply by cutting out masturbation.

When you don't relieve this sexual tension yourself--in an effort to correct this-- your body responds by giving you more energy and confidence to approach women.

I appreciate all the help so far guys.

Also, yes, I am from Misc, haha.

 

[Vinayaka]

Everything in moderation.

 

[crossfire]

Buddhist technique: view pictures of rotting corpses. (Spin off of meditating over decomposing corpses.)

 

[Knowledge Gourmet]

OK, so seriously, there are two general approaches to this. Both are difficult in different ways.

The first approach concerns gently channeling your attention away from things that are arousing, both mentally and in the environment around you. Sexual energy is simply energy that is expressed sexually. Without arousal the energy that would go into sexual thoughts and feelings can find other routes instead. This approach is usually counterproductive unless you choose spiritual retreat from everyday life and live like a hermit. By counterproductive I mean just doesn't work. From what you've said spiritual retreat isn't your intention.

The second approach involves using the build up of sexual energy to help drive you forward, or drive you crazy depending on how things go. I'm sure the second approach is what people on that body building forum are talking about. The trick is delaying gratification. Simply denying yourself won't work. Instead you have to channel sexual energy towards achieving things that make you feel better than a quick fap session. Essentially that's all there is to it. The core principle is simple. However, in practice its a considerably tough discipline and there is a lot to learn and master.

good post, thanks man

 

[SageTree]

KG, think you'll enjoy this video.

[youtube]wSF82AwSDiU[/youtube]
The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow - YouTube!

 

[Me Myself]

Everything in moderation.

This.

If you want to ease on masturbation, that's cool, but dont feel guilty if you changed your mind at the end and satisfied yourself.

In any case, breathing slowly and imagining energy going from the base chakra to the crown chakra by the back helps me when I want to feel less aroused. (Though honestly, that tends to only mean last longer in sex )

 

[Vinayaka]

Why was this placed in the dharmic section?

 

[SageTree]

Why was this placed in the dharmic section?

Sort of pondered that myself, seeing as we do have a sexuality forum on here.

Methinks it has to do with the idea arriving in the means of Dharmic explanation
(ie. Guru, chakra, energy, meditations)

Nothing wrong with coming to a select community for advice I suppose?

Do you think differently?

 

[Vinayaka]

Do you think differently?

I think its a problem that every group has to some degree. But if what you are suggesting is correct, then we should be flattered. My personal take is that its of the instinctive mind, and we should just leave it at that, neither condoning or condemning.

As far as chakras goes, its definitely below the muladara stuff, so I personally view that as irrelevant to the topic.