The Sum of Awe
Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
There's so many things I feel like I have to get done, and it stresses me out. Keeping the house clean (organized is another story), making dinner and taking the time to eat it (yeah, even eating it feels like a chore because eating is distracting to me), trying to find time for my writing hobby (admittedly I could make time for it but I just feel overburdened from the other things I have to do), going to the gym (it's only an hour a day and I enjoy it, but still is energy consuming), doing dishes (do them basically daily now), and then just having time to relax on the internet or watching a movie (it's gotten to a point I am very picky about what I watch because I know it's going to be 2 hours of my time). I also need to go for at least an hour walk whenever it's nice out because that's the only time I seem to get to clear my head and release endorphins. Then, of course, brushing my teeth twice a day and taking a shower regularly.
These things I've listed, I see no way around them except but to do them, these are all either necessities for survival (eating, cleaning) or things I value a lot (gym, writing, walking).
Luckily I only work three days a week (12 hour shifts though, so on those days I pretty much do nothing but eat, go to work, eat, gym, sleep, repeat) so that helps.
Another thing is I've been meaning to set a consistent sleep schedule. On work days I have to wake up at 4:30 am to get everything needed for work. In the winter time I have to leave by 5:10 am latest. It's hard to get to sleep on time on those three days, never mind waking up early, if I regularly go to bed later than I do on work nights. And if I don't get my full 8 hours I am dead tired, I can hardly function on less than 8 hours. -- But I'm being lenient on that until I get a gym routine down (I only started going again at the beginning of this month, so one thing at a time).
Man, I just don't understand life. I haven't even included socializing time (because I seldom socialize outside of the internet or at work, nor would I know when to make time for that if I did).
Do I have to sacrifice some things? Do i just need to do better at disciplining myself? For most things I'm able to say "Just do it" when it comes to chores and hygiene, because I know if I don't get at least those things done then that's a rabbit hole I'm falling down. But writing and gym I've been struggling to make time for. I genuinely enjoy both once I start, but starting is the problem. The "just do it" idea doesn't seem to work for those, because my mind suggests they're optional (regardless of how much I value what they do for me)
These things I've listed, I see no way around them except but to do them, these are all either necessities for survival (eating, cleaning) or things I value a lot (gym, writing, walking).
Luckily I only work three days a week (12 hour shifts though, so on those days I pretty much do nothing but eat, go to work, eat, gym, sleep, repeat) so that helps.
Another thing is I've been meaning to set a consistent sleep schedule. On work days I have to wake up at 4:30 am to get everything needed for work. In the winter time I have to leave by 5:10 am latest. It's hard to get to sleep on time on those three days, never mind waking up early, if I regularly go to bed later than I do on work nights. And if I don't get my full 8 hours I am dead tired, I can hardly function on less than 8 hours. -- But I'm being lenient on that until I get a gym routine down (I only started going again at the beginning of this month, so one thing at a time).
Man, I just don't understand life. I haven't even included socializing time (because I seldom socialize outside of the internet or at work, nor would I know when to make time for that if I did).
Do I have to sacrifice some things? Do i just need to do better at disciplining myself? For most things I'm able to say "Just do it" when it comes to chores and hygiene, because I know if I don't get at least those things done then that's a rabbit hole I'm falling down. But writing and gym I've been struggling to make time for. I genuinely enjoy both once I start, but starting is the problem. The "just do it" idea doesn't seem to work for those, because my mind suggests they're optional (regardless of how much I value what they do for me)