How do you feel about outside observers?

[Rayne]

I've yet to find a book that deals with this subject. How do you other Wiccans feel about outside observers (Wiccans, and supportive non-Wiccans alike) watching your ritual from outside the circle? Is it a bad idea to let someone watch a ritual? Is there anything special you should do to let a non-Wiccan actually /inside/ the circle, for healing and such?

I'm aware that negativity is something you /don't/ want anywhere near your ritual, and you don't want disturbed either. That's why, for this point, were only dealing with very supportive and understanding non-Wiccans, or Wiccans themselves.

Interested in hearing your opinions.

Blessed be.

-Rayne

 

[te_lanus]

For me personally, I don't like people watching me as it gets on me nerves.

When I was married my wife couldn't even watch. I think it has a lot to do with my upbringing, as my parents never understood my "Queer Lifestyle" and religious beliefs.

The only time I allow someone to look on / participate is when the ritual is either a ritual with more than one participant or when doing some tarot/rune/crystal reading.

 

[Stellify]

I've heard of covens allowing non-coven members to watch (and sometimes participate) in coven rituals. Especially holidays and such that are good to share with others of a similar disposition.

But, I think it really depends on what you're comfortable with. If you feel that having an observer would be disruptive or bring negativity around your ritual, then don't do it! I find that time to be very private and contemplative, so I would prefer to be alone. But I am also an extremely private person.
However, if there is someone who is supportive that you would like to share that experience with, then I see no reason not to do so

As for letting someone inside the circle, I would think that your basic cleansing, centering, etc. would still apply. I'm not sure exactly how you go about casting the circle and whatnot, but, for example, if you center by concentrating on breathing for a few moments and cleanse with salt and water, then have your friend do the same. I would still cast the circle myself, though, if I were you. Unless the other participant was Wiccan (or at least familiar with the practice).

In the end, I guess it comes down to what feels right to you

b.b

 

[Gentoo]

I find observers distract me a lot, they're welcome to watch if they can tolerate me playing the music at a slightly louder level than before though.

 

[Rayne]

Thanks for the input guys. The primary reason I was asking, is because I want to do a Crossing Over rite for 2 family members that passed on a few years ago. I have two family members that are very supportive of my faith. When I do the Crossing Over rite, I want them to be there outside of the circle to observe, because the family members I'm performing the rite for were very close to them as well. I think it will all go well.

Blessed be.

 

[Stellify]

I think that's a really wonderful thing for you to do Good luck.
:candle:

 

[Gentoo]

I think that would be a great thing to do.

 

[Rayne]

Thank you, very much.

I think I'm going to actually let them in the circle, so they can openly talk to their mother and father during the rite. (Their mother and father are the ones I'm doing the rite for.) It's going to be great. I appreciate the support.

 

[enchanted_one1975]

I think I would need them to watch from behind me. If I saw them I would probably get distracted. Three rules I would have for them:

ent: Whether or not you like what you see, don't criticize.

ent: Don't do anything but sit there still. Especially don't light a cigarette.

ent: If you have a problem seeing me naked then go away.

 

[Atreyu]

Personally I think that any chance of negativity would in turn take away from any ritual.

 

[pensive]

My personal opinion is that my rites are intimate and personal. I wouldn't let someone observe my ritual any more than I'd let someone observe my boyfriend and I making love.

I might invite an "outsider" to participate in certain rites with me, if I felt it was appropriate. And the case of a crossing-over rite would quite possibly qualify. After all, if the people in question were close to the deceased person, it only makes sense for me to invite them to participate in a rite meant to honor them and cross them over. It would make the rite more meaningful for everyone involved.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

A lot of books seem to suggest doing rituals in secret, but that seems mainly to remove any chance of them influencing your mindset. I think it depends on the person and people involved.

Hope yours goes well!

 

[Azakel]

A lot of books seem to suggest doing rituals in secret, but that seems mainly to remove any chance of them influencing your mindset. I think it depends on the person and people involved.

Hope yours goes well!

I agree with this, I've all was done my in secret. Though ever one around me is someone that wouldn't understand. Though if I did find a group to work with I would most likely work with others.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

I agree with this, I've all was done my in secret. Though ever one around me is someone that wouldn't understand. Though if I did find a group to work with I would most likely work with others.

I also often do go skyclad (I just thought of that looking in our fellowship room!), so that's a consideration. Though I don't mind being seen naked, it would make me a bit more self-conscious.

 

[Azakel]

I also often do go skyclad (I just thought of that looking in our fellowship room!), so that's a consideration. Though I don't mind being seen naked, it would make me a bit more self-conscious.

Yeah. Personally I'm not a big fan of being naked and doing Skyclad, and that's only in my own room, I don't think I could do it with others.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Yeah. Personally I'm not a big fan of being naked and doing Skyclad, and that's only in my own room, I don't think I could do it with others.

Right. And I think that if we want to try to get a better public image, holding public ceremonies skyclad may not be the best way to do it.

 

[Azakel]

Right. And I think that if we want to try to get a better public image, holding public ceremonies skyclad may not be the best way to do it.

True, I don't think most people in Modern society would think highly on people going around and dancing naked ^_^ LOL

 

[blackout]

True, I don't think most people in Modern society would think highly on people going around and dancing naked ^_^ LOL

Just one more thing that's wrong with our 'modern' society.

 

[YmirGF]

Just one more thing that's wrong with our 'modern' society.

Agreed. People are just so hung up on their dangly bits. *sigh* It's not like anyone is the first person to have 'em.

 

[Rayne]

I don't treat my rites as if I was making love with someone. I don't see them as so 'deeply personal'. How I myself would feel about observers was never the issue. But everything went great, and I would do it again for anybody else I loved.

I would have no reason to have anyone watch my typical rites, regardless. However, if a good friend asked to observe a typical full moon ritual, he would be welcome to attend and observe. I don't like people to not know what goes on during my rituals. I keep everything as open as possible with those who are interested, and of an open mind.

I do appreciate all the different opinions. This is a quite interesting topic. It seems to all come down to personal preference, and my preferences are apparently quite different from the majority.

As a side note, I do my rituals Skyclad, but I made an exception for the crossing-over rite, and I would make that exception again if I ever do something like that again.