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How did you meet?

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
A post that i read last night got me thinking (yes it happens), this could make a good thread...

How did you meet your partner, other half, better half, husband, wife?

For me...

Paul and I were paired up for an end of term project. We chatted about 3D projection, class finished but we weren't so decided to get a coffee. We eventually got kicked out of the coffee bar at closing time. Still with much to talk about we made for my digs. Not very salubrious but warm and dry. Made notes of our conversation and he left.

We met again next day to plan the project, he asked me out... Boy was i surprised.

He's what i would think of as upper-middle class, (or a toffee nosed twit). His home was in the village known as "snotty ash" with world class footballers, famous actors and other rich and shameless people as neighbours.

I'm a farm girl from central Lancashire with an accent to match.

It worked... We married on my 25 birthday. Just a couple of years short of 30 years.

Edit: spelling errors fixed.
 
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Secret Chief

Degrow!
She worked on a different floor of the office I worked at. We phoned each other on work-related matters (pre email etc), with no real need to physically meet. Apparently she came down to my floor one day to "assess" me and decided I was acceptable (she's since gone to Specsavers). Then the Christmas party came along and another colleague led me into the trap, I mean, a quiet room. Fast forward 30 odd years...
 

Secret Chief

Degrow!
A post that i read last night got me thinking (yes it happens), this could make a good thread...

How did you meet you partner, orher half, better half, husband, wife?

For me...

Paul and I were paired up for an end of term project. We chatted about 3D projection, class finished but we weren't so decided to get a coffee. We eventually got kicked out of the coffee bar at closing time. Still with much to talk about we made for my digs. Not very salubrious but warm and dry. Made notes of our conversation and he left.

We met again next day to plan the project, he asked me out... Boy was i surprised.

He's what i would think of as upper-middle class, (or a toffee nosed twit). His home was in the village known as "snotty ash" with world class footballers, famous actors and other rich and shameless people as neighbours.

I'm a farm girl from central Lancashire with an accent to match.

It worked... We married on my 25 birthday. Just a couple of years short of 30 years
Sounds like a case of yin and yang!
 

It Aint Necessarily So

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Thanks for asking.

My office receptionist had been trying to fix me up with her neighbor for a year, but I wasn't interested, since I tended not to like the movies or restaurants that she had recommended, and the idea of being fixed up was still a bit stigmatized and off-putting then.

But a year later, after a dreadful year of dating, she brought a picture into work, and we had a date for that night. The date was at a champagnery which also served dinner. I didn't drink then, but ordered a glass of champaign with her anyway, which she drank when she saw that I didn't want it. Then, we went to a terrible movie, and agreed to walk out. What's not to like? Here's a woman that will go out on a date the same night she's asked, didn't mind me ordering alcohol I didn't want or drinking it herself in front of me when I didn't, and who would rather walk out of a bad movie than watch more of it. No games. I liked that.

We married five months later, and that was over 33 years ago.
 
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JustGeorge

Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I had a gamer friend out in NC(other side of the country)I talked to nightly on the phone. We'd been friends for several years, always a platonic friendship. I'd had some crap luck in relationships, and had decided I was done with the whole thing. (Actually started to try to buy a house with my roommate at that point.)

He disliked this, because he said I was a jerk when I was single. Not much he could do about it, though... Until one of the 'kids' his mom helped care for and emancipate to get away from abusive parents showed up at his house in the middle of the night, all grown up now, but still struggling. He asked if he could couch surf while he got settled in the area(he'd been out of state for several years). This was allowed.

Within the next few days, my friend announced he'd found what I'd been looking for(I'd told him at one point I didn't want tall, dark, and handsome, I wanted young, dumb, and clumsy). "He came in last night saying some complete nonsense, tripped over his feet and knocked his food on the floor. He's young; 23(I was 27). This is perfect!" I told him to shut his trap. He did at the moment, but once this new guy got back, he said "hey! You want to see who I'm talking to?"

I realized what he was up to. I'd had some photos done, and one had gotten a laugh out of the friend group... it hadn't been the intention of the photographer, but it had turned out looking rather sexy(I think I was in the process of sitting up and saying something, and she shot the pic). I'm not a sexy person, so it struck us all as funny. I threatened my friend's life if he showed him that picture. He did anyways. The young man took the phone out of his hands, and proceeded to drool all over me(I think some got through the phone), making a complete *** of himself. I used his nonsense as comic fuel, and had listeners in both Iowa and North Carolina laughing at my exceedingly rude jokes at his expense.

Turd kept calling back. Every night for a month, until he broke me down to come see him on the East Coast. I drove out there, and he informed me that night that he was going to marry me(shrinking down and adding "if its okay with you"). He did, a month later.
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
How did you meet you partner, orher half, better half, husband, wife?

Met my wife Giuseppa when I worked for the DPW and she was a waitress and parttime cook at a hamburger joint where I sometimes at lunch. She was petite, pretty, and had a great sense of humor, and she has lost none of this over 56 years. The more I got to know her the more I fell in love with her, but the problem was I had another girlfriend as well. I dated both for most of a year, and then Mother Nature decided which one I'd end up with.

OK, so I'm not a saint!!!
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Met my wife Giuseppa when I worked for the DPW and she was a waitress and parttime cook at a hamburger joint where I sometimes at lunch. She was petite, pretty, and had a great sense of humor, and she has lost none of this over 56 years. The more I got to know her the more I fell in love with her, but the problem was I had another girlfriend as well. I dated both for most of a year, and then Mother Nature decided which one I'd end up with.

OK, so I'm not a saint!!!

Mother nature made the right choice
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
The more I got to know her the more I fell in love with her, but the problem was I had another girlfriend as well. I dated both for most of a year, and then Mother Nature decided which one I'd end up with.

If you don't mind my asking, do you mean it was an open relationship?

The story makes me curious, but I understand if you find the question too personal and prefer not to answer.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
A post that i read last night got me thinking (yes it happens), this could make a good thread...

How did you meet you [...], orher half, [...]?

I was in the womb and reached for my face, at which point I realized that I was only half-formed. I looked to the side and saw my other half. I said, "How about we stick together so we can get the hell out of here?"

He agreed, and we've been one for almost 30 years.

(I'm single and not concerned about dating or seeking to do so right now, although I'm open to it if an opportunity arises spontaneously.)
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I can't remember how we actually met. Boss and I went to the same high school, she a year behind me in grades. I was shy to the point of it being a handicap. Still, we went to some of the same parties. She had 4 female friends who hung out together, and after high school, they took some yoga classes, and got interested in Hinduism. I was curious so asked if I could hang out, and they let me into their group, off and on, more or less, as a platonic friend. We had some good times not partying. Eventually she and one of her friends (still our best friend today) went off to see a Guru they'd learned more about. Boss was an incredibly smart person, getting 99s and 100s in high school, and that fact piqued my curiosity. So the second time when the Guru was closer, the three of us went to see Him. I was clueless about such stuff, and still only 20, and still shy to do anything besides act platonically. Some would say honorable. But we went out for coffee, went on trips together, and talked a whole lot about life. One thing lead to another, and the Guru suggested we get married. At first I was shocked, but then when I thought about it for a week or so, it made way too much sense. We got married 6 weeks later, much to the surprise of many of our friends and acquaintances. This year will be 49 years.
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
Ah, memory lane… luckily, it’s my short term memory that suffers.

First spouse: in a cafe
Second spouse: at an airport
Third spouse: at a 20 year work reunion

I don’t really do spousing much anymore.
Keep practicing! One of these times you'll get it right!

A late friend had been married four times, and had several long term relationships as well (Pixie was the source of the most stories)...his last marriage was the longest at 20+ years...we still miss him...
 

beenherebeforeagain

Rogue Animist
Premium Member
Linn--my love of many lifetimes--started attending the meetings of a writers group I was involved in. At the time, I was still recovering from my first marriage and a number of failed dates and meetings...couldn't actually say there were any relationships in that time...I finally decided I would stop looking and just let love find me. Linn had also decided the same thing a year or so before.

Our friends Will and Paula would invite a number of the writing group back to their house for snacks and discussion after our reading nights.

After about four months of this, Will and Paula asked me to stay to talk about something after everyone else left. They proceeded to knock me upside the head with the proverbial 2x4, noting that while I had been hanging on every word at Linn said, she was also apparently interested in me. They suggested I might want to do something about that.

Realizing that they were indeed correct, I called her the next day, we met for lunch the day after, and within weeks we were alternating staying at her place or mine. We got married in 2002. It's been happiness every since!
 

metis

aged ecumenical anthropologist
If you don't mind my asking, do you mean it was an open relationship?

The story makes me curious, but I understand if you find the question too personal and prefer not to answer.
I made in clear to anyone who was getting serious with me that I would not "go steady" with any woman, and I kept that promise. I also made it clear that I would not get angry if she dated someone else. By doing as such, I was protecting both her and myself. At any given point for three years, I was usually dating 3-4 women but kept stopping with some and adding new ones.
 

Evangelicalhumanist

"Truth" isn't a thing...
Premium Member
It was Christmas Eve, and having been through too many relationships by 45, I considered myself done with them. I was having a few beers with a group of friends in a pub we went to frequently, and introduced to a few new people I hadn't met before (or so I thought). All of a sudden, around 9:00 PM, almost everyone left to go to a party I had (rudely) not been invited to, leaving only Joseph behind, who I had just been introduced to. I got out my cryptic crossword and began to solve, and Joseph decided he wasn't going to sit there and not be talked to, so he lied -- saying, "oh, I love those, too." Well, one thing and anther, I bought him a couple of drinks, chatted for a while and went home. Two days later, on Boxing Day, I met him again as he was going to the hospital to visit a friend -- and so was I! (Well, it was the age of AIDS.) So we walked together, and decided to meet the next evening for dinner, which we had in a restaurant that had lost its heating. We were the only diners, so they brought us a space heater and we spent 4 hours annoying the staff by not leaving. It's now 30 years later...

But...
Turns out that he had been watching me from afar several years earlier at another bar/restaurant where he worked, while I sang karaoke. He never approached me, so I never remembered him.
 

Orbit

I'm a planet
A post that i read last night got me thinking (yes it happens), this could make a good thread...

How did you meet your partner, other half, better half, husband, wife?

For me...

Paul and I were paired up for an end of term project. We chatted about 3D projection, class finished but we weren't so decided to get a coffee. We eventually got kicked out of the coffee bar at closing time. Still with much to talk about we made for my digs. Not very salubrious but warm and dry. Made notes of our conversation and he left.

We met again next day to plan the project, he asked me out... Boy was i surprised.

He's what i would think of as upper-middle class, (or a toffee nosed twit). His home was in the village known as "snotty ash" with world class footballers, famous actors and other rich and shameless people as neighbours.

I'm a farm girl from central Lancashire with an accent to match.

It worked... We married on my 25 birthday. Just a couple of years short of 30 years.

Edit: spelling errors fixed.

I actually met my husband on RF, when we used to have a chat as part of the site. He was "wellnamed", but later changed his username to "lovemuffin". We've been married 8 years now. Happiest years of my life.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
I was in grad school in chemistry and was part of a group opening up a "Free University" because college did not teach what we wanted to learn. The Free University did not make enough to support the rent so we started coffee house to support the Free University. My future wife came around to pay her guitar and we started getting to know each other. Then we started a head shop selling buttons, posters etc to support the coffee house which was supposed to support the Free University. We became partners along with a few other "60's" types.

In the beginning we did not have a romantic relationship but started fighting with each other in a way that caused friends to say that we should get married so it would be "legal". So we did get married and continued fighting until one day when we used each other's language in a fight, looked at each other and burst out laughing. We knew at that point we were going to stay married.

2023-1969= 54 years now and a tribute to pure, unadulterated stubbornness because we were going to work it out even if it killed both of us.
 
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