How can i get this Woman out of my head,she can't get me out of hers :help:

[England my lionheart]

So in a nutshell this is how it went,met a Woman in course of my work,she is married and so am I,both of us have long standing marriages,she is 8 years younger than me and beautiful,not just in looks though.

Anyway I met her about 8 months ago,thought she was beautiful but no problems so far,during those months work has meant us being in each others company and we became friends,cool I have other female friends so no problem,they are just friends.

During the last month we have been texting and calling each other via mobile phone more and more,didn't seem a problem because I text and call my other female friends,and of course seeing her when i'm at work,now we both realise that this is more than a friendship and although we haven't actually done anything like a full blown affair its what we are heading for.

I am now having a break from that work to work elsewhere thinking that if i Immerse myself in other work it would be easier for both of us to move on,spent more time with Wife,spend more time with family,fact is its worse,can't get her out of my head and she called yesterday and said the same thing about me,its driving me nuts,even lost my appetite.

We both agreed not to contact each other again but an hour after that conversation she called again and said she wants us to meet up and talk it over,i said its not a good idea because of what would probably follow but said I would sleep on it,7 am this morning she is texting again :cover:,have now turned phone off but all I keep thinking about is her :help:,am quite chuffed though that such a Woman would be interested in me,maybe theres life in the old Dog yet.

Please post some suggestions of how to get her out of my head :help: before I go crazy.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Danger
The senario is plain dangerous.
The cost is obvious.
The advantage simply lust fulfilled and a puffed up ego.

Stop digging or you wont get out.

 

[chinu]

So in a nutshell this is how it went,met a Woman in course of my work,she is married and so am I,both of us have long standing marriages,she is 8 years younger than me and beautiful,not just in looks though.

Anyway I met her about 8 months ago,thought she was beautiful but no problems so far,during those months work has meant us being in each others company and we became friends,cool I have other female friends so no problem,they are just friends.

During the last month we have been texting and calling each other via mobile phone more and more,didn't seem a problem because I text and call my other female friends,and of course seeing her when i'm at work,now we both realise that this is more than a friendship and although we haven't actually done anything like a full blown affair its what we are heading for.

I am now having a break from that work to work elsewhere thinking that if i Immerse myself in other work it would be easier for both of us to move on,spent more time with Wife,spend more time with family,fact is its worse,can't get her out of my head and she called yesterday and said the same thing about me,its driving me nuts,even lost my appetite.

We both agreed not to contact each other again but an hour after that conversation she called again and said she wants us to meet up and talk it over,i said its not a good idea because of what would probably follow but said I would sleep on it,7 am this morning she is texting again :cover:,have now turned phone off but all I keep thinking about is her :help:,am quite chuffed though that such a Woman would be interested in me,maybe theres life in the old Dog yet.

Please post some suggestions of how to get her out of my head :help: before I go crazy.

Afterall you are a loinhearted man, So i think better you go crazy once

 

[England my lionheart]

Danger
The senario is plain dangerous.
The cost is obvious.
The advantage simply lust fulfilled and a puffed up ego.

Stop digging or you wont get out.

I agree Terry but not about the ego part,obviously I find her physically attractive,she is certainly that,its not a kind of one night stand scenario based on lust though.

 

[Revoltingest]

I have some tried & true tips for woman repellant:
- Tell her about the history of high speed cutting tools & how it affected machine tool design.
- Show her pix of your collection of vintage lathes, planers, shapers & metallurgical equipment.
- Carp endlessly about how the damn socialists are ruining the country.
- Teach her to play go.
This is a failsafe approach because even if the unlikely happens, & she is actually interested
in one of these things, you won't be, thus killing your ardor, & making separation easier.

 

[England my lionheart]

Afterall you are a loinhearted man, So i think better you go crazy once

,yes the temptation is there to go crazy.

 

[chinu]

Danger
The senario is plain dangerous.
The cost is obvious.
The advantage simply lust fulfilled and a puffed up ego.

Stop digging or you wont get out.

"Man learn by falling again and again " -Said Somebody

So let him for once...

 

[England my lionheart]

I have some tried & true tips for woman repellant:
- Tell her about the history of high speed cutting tools & how it affected machine tool design.
- Show her pix of your collection of vintage lathes, planers, shapers & metallurgical equipment.
- Carp endlessly about how the damn socialists are ruining the country.
- Teach her to play go.
This is a failsafe approach because even if the unlikely happens, & she is actually interested
in one of these things, you won't be, thus killing your ardor, & making separation easier.

Lol,this seems like a good idea

 

[chinu]

,yes the temptation is there to go crazy.

Just go on fast

 

[Sunstone]

What a confusing situation, England! I'm sorry to hear of how all this must complicate your life for you. I'm not sure how effective this advice will be, but sometimes when we make a deal of quitting something -- even another person -- it has the peculiar effect of making that thing or person all the more attractive to us. So, I would be cautious about "swearing off" each other. It could be that's just making the two of you want each other the more.

Last, in my experience, these things tend to eventually die their own death if they are not consummated. Apparently, the frustration of not being able to consummate them overtakes the love, lust, or affection you feel for each other, and then one or both of you cool off -- at which point the thing is done with. But it can take some time. Not to mention a bit of effort avoiding consummation.

I suppose getting your respective partners to agree to open marriages is out of the question?

 

[chinu]

I have some tried & true tips for woman repellant:
- Tell her about the history of high speed cutting tools & how it affected machine tool design.
- Show her pix of your collection of vintage lathes, planers, shapers & metallurgical equipment.
- Carp endlessly about how the damn socialists are ruining the country.
- Teach her to play go.
This is a failsafe approach because even if the unlikely happens, & she is actually interested
in one of these things, you won't be, thus killing your ardor, & making separation easier.

And also show her your favourite hotel where you often lodge

 

[England my lionheart]

"Man learn by falling again and again " -Said Somebody

So let him for once...

I wish it was as easy as that,she has Children as do I,there are others who would be impacted on what we do,sure we could maybe have an affair and nobody would know but that would mean betrayal and deception and if discovered an emotional mess would ensue for all.

 

[chinu]

I agree Terry but not about the ego part,obviously I find her physically attractive,she is certainly that,its not a kind of one night stand scenario based on lust though.

Yes, not one night, many nights

 

[England my lionheart]

And also show her your favourite hotel where you often lodge

Maybe i'll show her the shed and say that's the best I can offer

 

[chinu]

I wish it was as easy as that,she has Children as do I,there are others who would be impacted on what we do,sure we could maybe have an affair and nobody would know but that would mean betrayal and deception and if discovered an emotional mess would ensue for all.

Why are you behaving like a loin losted in the group of donkeys years before.

Don't worry loin, you are real loin.

 

[England my lionheart]

What a confusing situation, England! I'm sorry to hear of how all this must complicate your life for you. I'm not sure how effective this advice will be, but sometimes when we make a deal of quitting something -- even another person -- it has the peculiar effect of making that thing or person all the more attractive to us. So, I would be cautious about "swearing off" each other. It could be that's just making the two of you want each other the more.

Last, in my experience, these things tend to eventually die their own death if they are not consummated. Apparently, the frustration of not being able to consummate them overtakes the love, lust, or affection you feel for each other, and then one or both of you cool off -- at which point the thing is done with. But it can take some time. Not to mention a bit of effort avoiding consummation.

Yes avoiding consummation is the reason I don't want to meet up with her,i am normally quite a strong person but I know caution would be thrown to the wind if we meet up :yes:

 

[chinu]

Maybe i'll show her the shed and say that's the best I can offer

bed in shed,
Just the task for one night,

Yes, why to spend a lot, that's right, i admire.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I know I may seem to be the last person to depend on when offering advice on how to cope with an affection outside a marriage that you're looking to bar. Surprisingly, hubbie and I have had plenty of experience here. So, allow me to try to help:

- I see you yearning for a exploring the strong connection between you and this woman. First, forgive yourself for having that strong connection after you recognize that it exists, and that it is overwhelming. You are not weird, awful, evil, a bad husband, etc. These things happen in even the best of marriages from time to time, but it is the decision on how to communicate these feelings to your spouse and/or the person of interest. Once the decision is made to communicate your feelings and after you have done so without blame toward anyone....

- Listen to the feelings of your spouse and/or the person of interest. You'll hear a range of either anger, ecstasy, jealousy, fear, or a combination of all. This may or may not even be the most difficult part, but it's HUGELY important. And that is listening without injecting more of what you would like, dislike, want, or fear. Once you have successfully listened actively to the person or people you have communicated your desires to....

- Prioritize your time spent throughout the day and night. I know this seems a really super odd suggestion, but looking over how your spend your time is a good indicator of what you find important. A time journal to document for a few days helps you to see how your time spent lines up with your values and ethics, and is a remarkable exercise in mirroring what you are doing at the moment - which reflects what may be motivating you to participate in your activities and relationships.

- Finally, don't just decide to pursue, maintain, or end your time with the woman you're strongly attracted to, but decide which half-dozen people you would like to surround you in the next phase. Focusing entirely on what you want or don't want with this woman is narrowing your world down to her and her alone as an addition to your entire life. I highly suggest expanding your circle of influence beyond her, and make time and connect with people at work, your neighborhood, family, and friends. When you expand your network of people you have an affection to, you are better able to frame how she fits in the entire scheme of things and people you enjoy being around.

- One last thing....And this is another odd suggestion....clear out any clutter in your car, your office space, your closet, your home that has been bugging you for a while. Trust me, sometimes when there is physical clutter somewhere that you see, the mind is cluttered and affected. Just clean it out and see what happens. I've found at times a super-charged clarity in my life when I've been faced with a difficult decision after I clear out clutter in a specific space. And just make it ONE cluttered space and then see what happens.

Good luck! :hug:

 

[Sunstone]

Yes avoiding consummation is the reason I don't want to meet up with her,i am normally quite a strong person but I know caution would be thrown to the wind if we meet up :yes:

I think you very wise not to put yourself on the spot, then. Good luck, bro.

 

[Revoltingest]

Yes avoiding consummation is the reason I don't want to meet up with her,i am normally quite a strong person but I know caution would be thrown to the wind if we meet up :yes:

Let me plant a seed of destruction.
Every time you picture her luscious visage in your mind, you shall see me.
Go ahead...try it. Conjure up her image. There! See....that's me in her stead.

Now, should you ever give in to your dumbstick, this image shall cloud your mind.
I caution you though....there is a small risk that you might transfer your affections to me.
But I am a faithful hubby, so temptation would not exist.