Hello everyone. Sorry for the confusing title, but it is hard to fully express my confused and sporadic thoughts. There is a core in there, somewhere.
I have been lurking these forums for a while. Registered not terribly long ago, but always hesitated to post. It has gotten to a point that I needed some social interaction with people who could listen at least who have at least some of the same interests as I. Those closest to me tend to have no or feign interest in my thoughts - not because they don't care, but because they don't understand.
For a TL: DR type expression:
- No formal training, but studied multiple religions for 10 years.
- Find something in multiple faiths that feel right; nothing as a complete package.
- During a troubling moment, prayed for relief and representation in a dream (offered to become priest for answering God); saw Jesus
- Found Episcopal Church, became confirmed
- Week of disaster: Robbery, personal health, father's health
- Personal understanding of the church falters; question nature of good and evil; lose faith in Christian understanding of God
- Attempt to "find the core;" unite faiths; develop system; not "filled with the Spirit" (Hollow)
- Investigate Job; come to heretical understanding of God
There is plenty in between each line, but I didn't think anyone would want to read an autobiographical essay.
So I am here now, with a Quaternity. God, Word, Wisdom and Satan. All as one. The idea that Evil is also in God. The repressed shadow.
And now nowhere to go. There is no faith that I can see taking me and my understanding of God. There is no scripture that I can use for personal devotion.
I attempted to pull a Jefferson and edit the Bible as I understand it. I could attempt to pull a Mohammed and create a new scripture that corrects where I see fault. I could copy+paste what is necessary. But I hesitate.
And now I don't know what to do.
.... Thank you for listening to me. I suppose that is all I needed at this time.
I have been lurking these forums for a while. Registered not terribly long ago, but always hesitated to post. It has gotten to a point that I needed some social interaction with people who could listen at least who have at least some of the same interests as I. Those closest to me tend to have no or feign interest in my thoughts - not because they don't care, but because they don't understand.
For a TL: DR type expression:
- No formal training, but studied multiple religions for 10 years.
- Find something in multiple faiths that feel right; nothing as a complete package.
- During a troubling moment, prayed for relief and representation in a dream (offered to become priest for answering God); saw Jesus
- Found Episcopal Church, became confirmed
- Week of disaster: Robbery, personal health, father's health
- Personal understanding of the church falters; question nature of good and evil; lose faith in Christian understanding of God
- Attempt to "find the core;" unite faiths; develop system; not "filled with the Spirit" (Hollow)
- Investigate Job; come to heretical understanding of God
There is plenty in between each line, but I didn't think anyone would want to read an autobiographical essay.
So I am here now, with a Quaternity. God, Word, Wisdom and Satan. All as one. The idea that Evil is also in God. The repressed shadow.
And now nowhere to go. There is no faith that I can see taking me and my understanding of God. There is no scripture that I can use for personal devotion.
I attempted to pull a Jefferson and edit the Bible as I understand it. I could attempt to pull a Mohammed and create a new scripture that corrects where I see fault. I could copy+paste what is necessary. But I hesitate.
And now I don't know what to do.
.... Thank you for listening to me. I suppose that is all I needed at this time.