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Evolving God, Evil, Jesus and me

ELoWolfe

Member
Hello everyone. Sorry for the confusing title, but it is hard to fully express my confused and sporadic thoughts. There is a core in there, somewhere.

I have been lurking these forums for a while. Registered not terribly long ago, but always hesitated to post. It has gotten to a point that I needed some social interaction with people who could listen at least who have at least some of the same interests as I. Those closest to me tend to have no or feign interest in my thoughts - not because they don't care, but because they don't understand.

For a TL: DR type expression:

- No formal training, but studied multiple religions for 10 years.
- Find something in multiple faiths that feel right; nothing as a complete package.
- During a troubling moment, prayed for relief and representation in a dream (offered to become priest for answering God); saw Jesus
- Found Episcopal Church, became confirmed
- Week of disaster: Robbery, personal health, father's health
- Personal understanding of the church falters; question nature of good and evil; lose faith in Christian understanding of God
- Attempt to "find the core;" unite faiths; develop system; not "filled with the Spirit" (Hollow)
- Investigate Job; come to heretical understanding of God

There is plenty in between each line, but I didn't think anyone would want to read an autobiographical essay.

So I am here now, with a Quaternity. God, Word, Wisdom and Satan. All as one. The idea that Evil is also in God. The repressed shadow.

And now nowhere to go. There is no faith that I can see taking me and my understanding of God. There is no scripture that I can use for personal devotion.

I attempted to pull a Jefferson and edit the Bible as I understand it. I could attempt to pull a Mohammed and create a new scripture that corrects where I see fault. I could copy+paste what is necessary. But I hesitate.

And now I don't know what to do.

.... Thank you for listening to me. I suppose that is all I needed at this time.
 

frangipani

Member
Premium Member
Hi ELoWolfe, You will have read in the Bible, 'God is a Spirit and those that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and Truth'. The true God is an Ineffable Spirit, Christ is described as His Son, Christ is the Holy Ghost, Christ the word mean Divine Knowledge. It is through knowledge of the Divine and faith in Him that you find Truth. First you need to learn what sort of being you are, secondly you need to choose what sort of character that being is. You will not find any answers in earth, only half truths. The earth and the matter universe were all created in error, this place we are born into is hell and the demi-god, the imperfect creation of the negative wisdom of the Ineffable One without the consort of the positive is the creator of this place and is truly waiting to devour the newborn. This is the god of the old testament. The Christos, or Christ is the God of the New Testament and it has nothing do with this world other than help us find our true selves and lead us to the True God, It is a solitary journey, an individual journey of discovery of self and Truth. Prayer and I don't mean ritualistic repetitive ramblings, but a genuine heartfelt prayer to the Ineffable One through the Holy Ghost (Christ) will be heard and answered. A few words, my spiritual journey began with these simple heartfelt words, 'God are you real, I need the truth?' You are indeed the master of your own destiny and if that spark of reason from the Ineffable One is still with you, you will find what you are looking for. After all, as even the Bible says, 'The Kingdom of Heaven is within you'.
 

Philomath

Sadhaka
Hello everyone. Sorry for the confusing title, but it is hard to fully express my confused and sporadic thoughts. There is a core in there, somewhere.

I have been lurking these forums for a while. Registered not terribly long ago, but always hesitated to post. It has gotten to a point that I needed some social interaction with people who could listen at least who have at least some of the same interests as I. Those closest to me tend to have no or feign interest in my thoughts - not because they don't care, but because they don't understand.

For a TL: DR type expression:

- No formal training, but studied multiple religions for 10 years.
- Find something in multiple faiths that feel right; nothing as a complete package.
- During a troubling moment, prayed for relief and representation in a dream (offered to become priest for answering God); saw Jesus
- Found Episcopal Church, became confirmed
- Week of disaster: Robbery, personal health, father's health
- Personal understanding of the church falters; question nature of good and evil; lose faith in Christian understanding of God
- Attempt to "find the core;" unite faiths; develop system; not "filled with the Spirit" (Hollow)
- Investigate Job; come to heretical understanding of God

There is plenty in between each line, but I didn't think anyone would want to read an autobiographical essay.

So I am here now, with a Quaternity. God, Word, Wisdom and Satan. All as one. The idea that Evil is also in God. The repressed shadow.

And now nowhere to go. There is no faith that I can see taking me and my understanding of God. There is no scripture that I can use for personal devotion.

I attempted to pull a Jefferson and edit the Bible as I understand it. I could attempt to pull a Mohammed and create a new scripture that corrects where I see fault. I could copy+paste what is necessary. But I hesitate.

And now I don't know what to do.

.... Thank you for listening to me. I suppose that is all I needed at this time.

What is a Quaternity?
 

ELoWolfe

Member
@frangipani:

I always teeter with the balance of spirit vs. material, and while I try to encompass a "they're both good" mentality, I have a hard time with it. Gnosticism, or the ideas that you're exhibiting (if I read correctly) just appeals - it makes sense to me. But while I embrace it, I also shun it. Quite a confusing condition.

@Philomath:

A Quaternity is the next step to Trinity, I would say. While a Trinity is 3=1, a Quaternity is 4=1. In relation to the Trinity of the orthodox Christian, it would be accepting either a feminine nature to the divine or an evil nature.

@Freelance_Policeman:

I always felt and believed that God is love and God is good. But the problem of Evil is always there. For example, did my "dark night" come because of some sin I performed and had not known? Why did my sin affect that of my Husband? And why did my sin ALLOW the sin of others?

Reading Job tells me that God, of the Bible, if taken as a whole, is a complex combination of Good and Evil. He can, if he so chooses, love someone and hate them afterwords for no reason but his own. It is why he can call Moses, but attempt to kill him, for example. But this Evil isn't evil in the sense of vicious, but I took it to mean evil in the sense of removing obstacles. By destroying material wealth, for example, an act of "evil," he releases the dependency upon those materials. That type of logic.
 

frangipani

Member
Premium Member
Hi ELoWolfe, We appear Gnostic and if we had to label ourselves, for the world to have some idea of us, we would label ourselves Gnostic. However, we claim no label in Truth because the Truth is God-given. It is deep within our spiritual being that we know who and what we are in reality. Even though we sprang from an earthly seed, these bodies are not us, but host us for a time through the nature of inheritance of the Spark from the All. Not all people have this spark, some are simply throw-backs from the eathly man before Life was breathed into Adam by the demi-god and he became a living soul. There is no harmony between the matter creation and the Spiritual realm, only a way up from hell (matter creation of the demi-god) through Christ to the Spiritual realm of the Ineffable One. Look deep into your spirit and seek the Holy Ghost (Christ) ask your questions, find out what type of being you really are and then see who you are, it is there that the work of kindling the Spark from the All begins. When you find yourself, you will not be confused and you will choose either to love all that dies and perishes (this world) or all that is eternal, the Kingdom of the true God. Once you have made this discovery and started on that journey you will find it a solitary yet wonderful journey if you choose to follow Christ. From there you will grow and won't need to feel confused.:)
 
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