Do girls NEED to just get rid of it?

[MSizer]

If you don't know, why are you having sex? What if the relationship doesn't work out?

Indeed, for most men these days it equals ditching the woman and letting her raise the offspring, if the birth control fails (or if they were too stupid to use it altogether, which happens, due to a severe lack of sexual education). No wonder there are so many abortions these days D=.

I'm not understanding what you're saying. Could you restate it please? It sounds like you're trying to say that emotional maturity and physical maturity are separate, but I'm not sure how that's relevant to the conversation =/.

Hey AmazingLoser, I really do like you a lot, but I gotta disagree severly here. To say that having unwed sex for most men these days = ditching a woman to raise a child on her own, you're way off base. Ditching a child to raise on her own is a complete failure to tend to one's responsability. It's utterly selfish, and it's in no way the same thing as casual sex. You're describing sex without using precautions or committing to dealing with the consequences if unexpected results occur. That's not the same as casual sex.

 

[DallasApple]

If you don't know, why are you having sex? What if the relationship doesn't work out?

The same if you get married and the relationship doesnt work out.

Believe it or not beign married doenst have a magical gurantee that your relationship will "work out"..And you are supposedly havign SEX when you are married.

Why for that matter are you "havign sex" with someone you THINK you are going to be married to for 60 years and the odds for that are slim to none?

Also ...you said "if you dont know"..Im asking you if you dont know "what"?

Love

Dallas

 

[T-Dawg]

Ditching a child to raise on her own is a complete failure to tend to one's responsability. It's utterly selfish, and it's in no way the same thing as casual sex. You're describing sex without using precautions or committing to dealing with the consequences if unexpected results occur.

Agreed. However, that's what men do =/. The closest thing women can do to running away from the problem is having an abortion.

That's not the same as casual sex.

Er, it's not? What's the difference?

Believe it or not beign married doenst have a magical gurantee that your relationship will "work out"..And you are supposedly havign SEX when you are married.

I know, 60% of marriages end in divorce. It's sad. My theory is that there would be less divorces if we took away the legal power of marriage and used it only as a religious ceremony/commitment.
But besides that, I never thought about it that way. If marriage is nothing more than a promise, then I don't see why making a promise to stay with someone is any less valid as the beginning of a sexual relationship.

Also ...you said "if you dont know"..Im asking you if you dont know "what"?

EDIT: If you don't know if you're going to get married. If you're unsure of whether or not you'll get married, you should probably wait until you're sure you're getting married before having sex, or at least according to me a page ago.

(Also, I edited my previous post with some more responses, I didn't realize when I posted that there was another page)

 

[DallasApple]

Oh and by the way Amazing loser..UNEXPECTED pregnancies happen in marriage too.

If a marriage boils down to raising offspring they need to stop acting like its love between the man and the woman..it would be more like the love of the "idea" that they can have "off spring" and that is the focus after that..and in FACT no need for sex after the amount of desired offspring are born.

It would be like..."well..we have four now...we are committed to raising the kids..now its time to STOP having casual sex together"..

NEWS flash..MARRIED people have MORE "casual " SEX together than single people do..they arent "one night stands" in the sense you never see them again..But its "perpetual" one night stands with the same person and the INTENT is NOT to have a baby.

Love

Dallas

 

[MSizer]

AmazingLoser, how can you possibly not see the difference between casual sex and ditching a girl to raise your kid? Do you you think it would be immoral to throw baseball bats around carelessly so that people are hit in the face? Does this mean we need to ban baseball? Of course not. Playing responsibly with a baseball bat is one thing, hitting a person with it is another. Having sex responsibly is one thing, empregnating or infecting a person without thier wish for it to happen or without assisting afterward is another thing. And further more, to say "that's what men do" is just like saying, "well, thieves use butcher knives to hold up bank tellers, so it's wrong to have butcher knives".

 

[DallasApple]

What is the difference between having sex 5,000 times with the same person instead of 5,000 differnt men if the purpose is for bearing offspring and raising them together?

I dont know anyone that has 5,000 children that is married.(or otherwise).

Could the answer be sex for pleasure?

Love

Dallas

 

[MSizer]

What is the difference between having sex 5,000 times with the same person instead of 5,000 differnt men if the purpose is for bearing offspring and raising them together?

I dont know anyone that has 5,000 children that is married.(or otherwise).

Could the answer be sex for pleasure?

Love

Dallas

Oh wait now Dallas, we're forgetting aren't we, about the "unnatural sex" as according to st. thomas aquinas. Maybe there are different rules for natural sex and unnatural sex. (snicker).

 

[T-Dawg]

What is the difference between having sex 5,000 times with the same person instead of 5,000 differnt men if the purpose is for bearing offspring and raising them together?

STDs. More partners, more of them.

Oh and by the way Amazing loser..UNEXPECTED pregnancies happen in marriage too.

True. Although usually in marriage, people have sex for the purpose of raising children.

NEWS flash..MARRIED people have MORE "casual " SEX together than single people do..they arent "one night stands" in the sense you never see them again..But its "perpetual" one night stands with the same person and the INTENT is NOT to have a baby.

Eh, never mind about my statement above XD. I guess I'll never understand this whole "sex for pleasure" concept until I actually experience it for myself.

AmazingLoser, how can you possibly not see the difference between casual sex and ditching a girl to raise your kid? Do you you think it would be immoral to throw baseball bats around carelessly so that people are hit in the face? Does this mean we need to ban baseball? Of course not. Playing responsibly with a baseball bat is one thing, hitting a person with it is another. Having sex responsibly is one thing, empregnating or infecting a person without thier wish for it to happen or without assisting afterward is another thing. And further more, to say "that's what men do" is just like saying, "well, thieves use butcher knives to hold up bank tellers, so it's wrong to have butcher knives".

Ok, so in the event that casual sex produces offspring, what do you do?

 

[MSizer]

STDs.
Ok, so in the event that casual sex produces offspring, what do you do?

You admit you're own stupidity, er, sorry, I meant "irresponsibility" and you raise your child.

 

[DallasApple]

Oh wait now Dallas, we're forgetting aren't we, about the "unnatural sex" as according to st. thomas aquinas. Maybe there are different rules for natural sex and unnatural sex. (snicker).

Unatural sex?

You mean with a sheep?

Oh GREAT!!

Love

Dallas

 

[T-Dawg]

Unatural sex?

You mean with a sheep?

Oh GREAT!!

I think he's actually refering to how some Christians think anything other than the "missionary" position (man on top of woman lying down) is unnatural or something like that. I've never heard of this St. Thomas Aquinas guy though.

 

[DallasApple]

What about sx after menopuase?"(which I havent hit yet)...

What about sex with birth control?

How is that "natural"?

Seems to me the rule is you can have LOTS of unatural sex if you are married.JUST for the fun of it..And its just GREAT and GOD loves it.Even if there is NO chance you can have a baby.That you ae DELIBERATELY trying to have sex for the sheer fun of it is AWESOME if you are married.

IF you arent married then you have to be under the cloud of ...."not married".

Because in the grand scheme of things that REALLy makes a difference.

Married people can actually HATE each other and still have sex.But "its O.K" because "they are married..

Im surprised anyone even gets married anymore.

Love

Dallas

 

[T-Dawg]

Im surprised anyone even gets married anymore.

Me too. I think most people only get married for the tax cuts, which is why I feel the tax cuts for married people should be removed.

How is that "natural"?

Seems to me the rule is you can have LOTS of unatural sex if you are married.

Why are you mocking me for a view I do not hold? I never said sex with birth control is less natural, or sex after menopause (however I think the Bible does say something about having sex with a women during her period, and sex after menopause tends to be kinda painful anyway, unless my books have lied to me again).

And its just GREAT and GOD loves it.Even if there is NO chance you can have a baby.That you ae DELIBERATELY trying to have sex for the sheer fun of it is AWESOME if you are married.

He does?

 

[Madhuri]

Hey TAL,
I'll try to answer you.

In my opinion, the goodness or morality of sex lies in the intentions of the individual and what sex means to them.
For instance, I'm assuming that for you sex represents commitment nd perhaps a 'giving' of your self to another person (correct me if I'm wrong). In which case, casual sex or having sex with even one person who you are not ready to give your self to would be wrong or a bad idea.

But to a person who does not see sex as representing these things, it would not be wrong. You are not giving your self to the person (necessarily). Maybe having sex represents growing up, or maybe it is just for pleasure.

I am personally somewhere in between. I waited until I met somebody who I loved and who loved me and so the experience was good. Due to many factors, I have not and probably won't marry this person soon but I am in the relationship to try and make it work so that one day I can marry this man. If I lived in a culture where it was not socially accepted to have sex prior to marriage then I would lready be married. But as it happens, society is not set up in my favour for this to be a good idea right now. In all probability, being married now would lead to a divorce.

So that is my opinion. The act of sex itself is quite neutral- it is not ssociated with morality until we give it meaning.

 

[Sunstone]

Statistics show that in a ten year period from 1997 to 2007, not a single unmarried person filed for divorce. Conclusion: Marriage is the number one leading cause of divorce.

 

[ayani]

to an extent. it's certainly considered a rarity for a young woman to leave high school and college without having had sex.

no one made fun of me for not doing it, but people did express surprise and shock.

from what i remember of high school (and college) not having sex meant that on some level, there was probably something wrong with you. pre-marital sex was basically an accepted and even encouraged option, and to have gone without sex indicated that perhaps you were not good-looking, desirable, or sociable enough to want to sleep with.

I'm talking about virginity. People have fun of virgin girls in the West. Is that true?

 

[bp789]

I live in Texas, so most people would wait until marriage, but I don't think it really happens in practice. Even though our school places a strong emphasis on not doing drugs, there were still a lot people that did them and ruined their lives from it. Plus, I know this one girl from middle school who got pregnant sometime between eighth and ninth grade.

Personally, I think people should wait until marriage or at least until they are in a good relationship. But if they decide not to, then they should at least use some form of birth control. Texas teach abstinence only and mentions nothing about birth control, so you can imagine how much the rate of teen pregnancies would go up.

 

[DallasApple]

I live in Texas, so most people would wait until marriage, but I don't think it really happens in practice. Even though our school places a strong emphasis on not doing drugs, there were still a lot people that did them and ruined their lives from it. Plus, I know this one girl from middle school who got pregnant sometime between eighth and ninth grade.

Personally, I think people should wait until marriage or at least until they are in a good relationship. But if they decide not to, then they should at least use some form of birth control. Texas teach abstinence only and mentions nothing about birth control, so you can imagine how much the rate of teen pregnancies would go up.

The girl you knew was probably me because I got pregnant in 8th grade and had the baby in 9th grade and I live in Texas.

Love

Dallas

 

[MSizer]

Just as an FYI, St. Thomas Aquinas was a 13th century theologian. For some reason which I don't understand, even many secular philosophers consider him a great thinker. Many theologians consider him the most insightful theologian to date. I honestly don't understand how anyone can think that. He is best known for his "5 proofs for god" and his extensive views on the ethics of human sexuality. I think he had head problems. His 5 proofs have all been proven fallatious, and as for his views on sexuality, well, to each thier own I guess.

 

[Tiapan]

My daughter is 21, she was in the Australian Olympic Team for Beijing. She is doing a Science / Law double degree. She is a high achiever and works diligently on her studies. She is also a virgin, which is a little unusual, most others her age are not virgins so she is a bit of an exception. It is her choice and I am fine with that. She is quite attractive and would have little trouble finding a mate, but she has prioritized her life.

The down side is that she denies herself a social life, but she has set her goals and will achieve them. I am sure when she is ready she will engage in these other normal aspects of life in her own good time, but not before she has achieved her current goals.

She is not austracised by either her male or female friends, in fact she is often held as a model of achievement and leadership. Its her life and she is intelligent enough to make her own decisions and I respect her for that.

Cheers