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Do girls NEED to just get rid of it?
- Thread starter TashaN
- Start date
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
If you're a virgin, you're likely to be seen as weird. Girls (and guys) are under intense social pressure to have sex early and often. On the other hand, as Zephyr pointed out, if you're a girl, there's a double standard. Girls who get lots of sex are "easy", but guys who get lots of sex are "studs."
So there's a certain cultural confusion about sex. You've just gotta have it because if you don't, there's something's wrong with you. So it seems the most important thing in the world. Yet on the other hand, sex is no big deal. Add adolescent immaturity to the mix, and you've a recipe for disaster.
So there's a certain cultural confusion about sex. You've just gotta have it because if you don't, there's something's wrong with you. So it seems the most important thing in the world. Yet on the other hand, sex is no big deal. Add adolescent immaturity to the mix, and you've a recipe for disaster.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
Right. My nine year old figures she's completely ready. She's read all the Harlequin romance novels she could find, watched a couple of porn movies, and talked it over deeply with her eleven-year-old stud-to-be. As her parent, I have no say in the matter and should just sit idly by while she turns her life into a complete disaster. Sounds about right.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
It seems that guys are either ridiculed or congratulated depending on how much they "score" while it's the exact opposite for girls.
Sorry, I didn't make clear that I had in mind girls much older than your nine-year old. I figure around the late teens, a girl should be able to make that decision for herself. But a nine year old? No.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
Seems a bit arbitrary. Why not nine? Perhaps she's very intelligent and mature for her age. Why not ten? 11? 13? 7?
Frankly, I just don't think a 16- or 17-year-old is in any better position to make that sort of decision independently than a nine year old. Don't get me wrong, I realize that there has been a lot of maturing between those ages. But I just don't think teenagers have the moral maturity (especially with hormones raging) to make that decision without input from their parents. And the parents' input had better be cautionary if not forbidding.
Are you seriously suggesting you lack the ability to tell the difference between a nine year old and seventeen year old?
Frankly, that's the craziest thing I've read all day. Of course a seventeen year old is in a much better position than a nine year old to decide whether to have sex. Can you show me even one scientific study that would back up your statement a seventeen year old is in no better position than a nine year old to decide whether to have sex?
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Sex is something that should be approached with a sense of maturity, responsibility and respect. I don't think it should be seen as something dirty and shameful or has to be "saved" exclusively for a particular individual after a some ritual, but I don't think it should be trivialized and cheapened through wanton and reckless promiscuity, either.
I largely agree with this. I would add that I think society has a moral obligation to provide kids with medically accurate knowledge about their sexuality, including information about the effectiveness and availability of the various methods of birth and disease control.
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I've seldom heard anyone make fun of virgins except me. And I only do it because no one else is doing it.
(More seriously, I have friends who terminated their virginity before marriage, and I have friends who waited until marriage -- and I respect both sorts of decisions.)
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Mr Spinkles
Mr
Not in my experience, no.
In my high school social group (this was 4-7 years ago), nobody even suggested having sex before marriage, although at sleepovers we'd talk about how awesome sex would be once we got married. Then senior year a few of us changed our minds, but it wasn't a big deal. Nobody made a big difference between people who had sex and people who didn't. Certainly there was no pressure to lose your virginity.
In Scotland a person becomes a legal adult at 16. At 16 parents aren't legally allowed a say in anything you do.
Gentoo
The Feisty Penguin
It's 18 in the states... even though you can't drink until 21.
kai
ragamuffin
In general no. Remember people make fun of all sorts Red hair Curly hair,Spots,Big feet, Virgins, non virgins, but in general i would have to say no.
Buttons*
Glass half Panda'd
Well, you can still be called an antisocial ice queen. Putting out makes you either a whore or a ****. I don't agree with that. But there are cases where a girl will make out with a guy, tell him to stop... and she either gets raped, persecuted from that guy forever, or lies get told about what a **** she is. There are so many ways people can be cruel. Sexuality is merely one of those ways - whether a girl puts out or not.
