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Deserve to be loved

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by Sirona, Jun 12, 2021.

  1. Sirona

    Sirona Hindu Wannabe

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    I came across some motivational content, probably on this forum, which has kept me thinking for a week or so.

    It said: "You / We deserve to be loved".

    I agree that children need love because otherwise they will be stunted. That being said, why should anyone "deserve" to be loved? Shouldn't one first give love and then receive kindness in return?
     
  2. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Well-Known Member
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    If any of us don't receive love, we will be stunted.

    We can withhold love from others; some of us are hard to love. But for those who are able to, it makes sense to give love to even those, for the unloved tend to act out in ways that pain everyone.

    After all, we are largely a product of circumstance. If we had lived the life they had lived, we might have turned out similarly.
     
  3. AlexanderG

    AlexanderG Active Member

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    This is one of those statements that is colloquial, has an implied target audience, and speaks in generalizations. I could try to break it down a bit.

    There are a lot of people who suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem, or depression, or are traumatized by abuse and have a difficult time feeling worthy of love. I think this message is intended for them; it's something they need to hear repeatedly to encourage them to risk the vulnerability involved in being loved.

    I don't think this message is intended for psychopath axe murderers, or nasty, spiteful people who kick puppies, etc. Not only are such people incredibly rare, but they may be incapable of feeling or valuing love. The inability to feel empathy is a hallmark of severe psychopathy/sociopathy. The message simply goes over their head.

    You asked, "Shouldn't one first give love and then receive kindness in return?" and I think this is actually what "you deserve to be loved" means. It means we should all get to be in situations where we can give love and receive kindness in turn. To me, that is what "being loved" entails. Does any of this make sense? There's just a lot to unpack.
     
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  4. Unveiled Artist

    Unveiled Artist Shrugs. I tried.

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    It's a catch 22. If you've never grow up in a healthy loving family it's hard to know what it means to give love even to define the word itself.

    I don't believe it should be one before the other. Ideally we'd hope to receive love as just as important to give it. It depends on the person. I guess those who care about others tend to give before receive. Those who generously are self-guided tend to think of their own wellbeing to think of others. Either or, that's probably why people see one way over another.

    I never thought that I don't deserve love. Everyone deserves love. But I don't believe it's bad to give before receiving. One and the same.
     
    #4 Unveiled Artist, Jun 12, 2021
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2021
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  5. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    Depends on ones definition of love. Personally i love my kids implicitly. Other than that love must be earned, i don't/won't simply give it my love away because someone thinks they deserve it.

    There are people who claim to love everyone implicitly. It's a position i cannot understand, and i think this concept dilutes the strongest of emotions. For example, can they love a stranger who is a paedophile in the same way they love their partner?
     
  6. osgart

    osgart Nothing my eye, Something for sure

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    There are different kinds of love I'm aware of such as charity, mercy, tolerance, forbearance, Compassion, kindness, special relationships, etc.

    I've met some people such as mockers, haters, narcissists, bulleys, etc. that I wouldn't know how to love and don't seem all that uncommon. I suppose mercy applies to them.

    One thing I think is true is that not everybody is going to be having a wonderful life, or some people just never had good opportunities in life, and hard lives are out there by the plenty, and wasted potential is also out there; and none of it is necessarily their own fault. There are a lot of people that are associated with labels, beliefs, and convictions that just were never able to see the other sides of life then their own.

    So I believe understanding increases love, and there are so many different kinds of love that I think everybody is deserving of some kind of love. If they aren't then chances are they are rotten to the core. And if someone is rotten like that then I don't know what love they deserve, but maybe there's one out there. I think there is.
     
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  7. Aštra’el

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    Nobody deserves love. Nobody deserves anything, in my opinion. It is nice to experience though, while it lasts.
     
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  8. Bird123

    Bird123 Well-Known Member

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    WE are all Children of God. We are all Wonderful Works of Art! There is no one in the universe exactly like each of us nor will there ever be. Yes, someone so Unique and Special deserves to be loved.

    In our journey to Wisdom, Learning and Understanding, we learn through our choices. No one will ever acquire great wisdom and knowledge without making those bad choices. Is this really an excuse to withhold our Love from anyone? I think not for the next great mistake might just come from ourselves.

    God loves us all Unconditionally. God's Love has never ever been based upon our choices. I think copying Great Intelligence is a wise thing to do.

    It doesn't matter what everyone else does. It's what each of us chooses to do that counts. Our actions and choices define who we are.

    How do you choose to define yourself? Will you withhold your Love in an attempt to control the actions of others OR will you give your Love Unconditionally, helping others along the way, teaching and pointing others in the right direction, and yes guiding those in your life to Love, Greatness, and a Higher Level?

    Unconditional Love always does what is Best for the other. Which choice is Best for All? Which choice will ultimately be Best for you? You see, it's always been in each of our hands.

    Everyone deserves Unconditional Love. I will do my best to serve that up to all. Why? Each and every one of you deserve it.

    That's what I see. It's very very very clear!!
     
  9. Jeremiah Ames

    Jeremiah Ames Well-Known Member

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    if no one gave love until they first received it, then there wouldn’t be any love

    doesn’t it need to begin somewhere?
     
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  10. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
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    You've articulated my perspective.
     
  11. Kooky

    Kooky Freedom from Sanity

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    That doesn't only apply to children, I think. We all need other people, and I know from personal experience that being alone can be a real drag on somebody's emotional stability, especially when one is already inclined to depression.

    EDIT: Or just read what @AlexanderG wrote, who put it better than I ever could.
     
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  12. Twilight Hue

    Twilight Hue Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.

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    I think its great in principle and shouldn't be discouraged, but unfortunately not applicable in every case. Some are born/hardwired without that capacity and will never reciprocate.
     
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