That is also true in my life. Therapy saved my life too, but before I began seeing a professional therapist, the Beatles were my therapy, and listening to their music literally saved my life when I was a teenager and young adult. Listening to their music provided me with a comforting escape from the living hell I was trapped in growing up in a Christian home, and their music quickly became a refuge for me. On the other hand, being a devout Christian who prayed several times a day for years, read the Bible every day and read it cover to cover several times, and faithfully attended church and Sunday school was a complete and total waste of my time and energy. I can honestly say that I wasted thirty years of my life (and a few years before that) believing in God. As a child and teenager, I'd pray to him every day, asking and pleading with him to protect me from being abused and bullied, but I suffered severe abuse and mistreatment at home for thirteen and a half years and perpetual bullying and harassment in school for twelve years. However, after many years of diligent and sincere prayer, I realized that praying to God was a waste of my time and energy. I finally realized that I was on my own and that it was my responsibility to save and care for myself. I learned that I can stand on my own and take care of myself without relying on God or any other deities to assist me when I needed guidance, heal me when I was sick, or protect and save me from harm.
I stopped believing in God after I was finally honest with myself and accepted the painful truth that my faith in a loving, merciful God wasn't compatible with the reality that I had suffered abuse while I was growing up, and I've had to deal with the traumatic emotional effects of that abuse ever since. I believed in God when I was growing up because that's what I was indoctrinated to believe, despite being abused by my adoptive mother, who's a Christian. My adopted father and my adopted extended family, who are also Christians, always looked the other way. And in spite of being perpetually abused and bullied, I became a Christian myself when I was seventeen and continued to be one for thirty years. To be honest, being a Christian was an absolutely miserable experience for me. There was no peace and joy in my heart or life, as was promised in the Bible to those who believed in and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior.
Despite my genuine faith in God and sincere devotion to him, I was an empty shell, going through the motions. Long story short, I no longer believe in God, and I've renounced my Christian faith. I chose to share my story of being abused as a child (
read it here) in the hopes that my story will help other survivors of childhood abuse, and my story of childhood abuse is intertwined with my decision to renounce my faith (
read it here). I share my story of leaving Christianity in the hopes that it might inspire others who are thinking of doing the same, or perhaps inspire people who have already left and need reassurance. I can honestly say that letting go of my belief and faith in God is the best decision that I've ever made for my mental health and emotional well-being. My only regret is that I should have done this years ago. I won't say much more because I don't want to derail the thread, but believing in and trusting the so-called loving and merciful God of the Bible was a terrible mistake on my part. I can see that now as I reflect back on my life. It took me years to realize and accept that there is no God who will come to my rescue and that if I wanted to survive in this life, I had to save myself by caring for myself and protecting myself from being abused and bullied. I began standing up for myself shortly after turning eighteen, when I confronted my two abusers head-on, and I have continued to do so ever since. I saved myself. God had nothing to do with it.
Finally, I believe it is critical to learn to stand on your own and care for yourself without relying on religious beliefs or a deity to heal you or save you from harm. In my opinion, the sooner people learn this, the better their mental health and emotional well-being will be, as will their lives once they learn to care for themselves. It proved true for me, so I believe that it is possible for others once they are free of the religious indoctrination they have been subjected to during their lives. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to believe in any gods in order to live a moral life and make the right choices. I've proven to myself that I can stand on my own without genuinely believing in the biblical God or in any other deities. If the biblical God actually exists, then I certainly don't want or need him in my life.
