Dating, sex, and marriage

[Trailblazer]

I wouldn't want to marry someone who is a dog lover myself, or wouldn't be willing to give up her dogs.

That could be a problem because most men who have pets have dogs. I don't really want to live with dogs, but it would not be fair to ask a man to give up his dog(s) since I am unwilling to give up my cats. It would be best if he had no pets and could come to love my cats. That is what happened with Lewis.

 

[Secret Chief]

Sheesh, I just learned a new word!
When I first joined Silver Singles, there as a man who loved cats. He only had one photo of himself, one photo of his horse, but all the other photos were of his cats and kittens. He had four cats and they had kittens. I really liked that man and we exchanged e-mails for a while, but unfortunately he got sick and went into the hospital and i lost track of him. Since then I have not found another man who is a cat lover, they are all dog lovers.

We are out there, we're just quieter! (Currently 48 photos of Moonbear on my phone )

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Has Zoosk brought good results? That site seems to be 65% really religious people, just from what I've seen.

But there are a whole lot of scammers on there, too

 

[Trailblazer]

We are out there, we're just quieter! (Currently 48 photos of Moonbear on my phone )

I know that there are men who like cats because I knew quite a few such men on the other forum I used to post on. Most of them were atheists and they were my good friends. We shared cat stories all the time.

Why oh why aren't there any such men on dating sites?

Do you know how many photos of my cats I have on my phone?

 

[stvdv]

Thanks, I worked hard on the OP. After I wrote it yesterday, I edited my Word document a few times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it, to say exactly what I wanted to convey

Reading your OP, I was surprised how well you had phrased all paragraphs ... all made perfect sense to me...you phrased it exactly how I feel about this. I could not have described my feelings about all of this better than you did

It is nice to see that at least someone on here shares my sentiments. I was not expecting that.

You surprised me too, writing precisely how I feel about this. Nice also to read, that I am not alone on this Path

 

[stvdv]

Since then I have not found another man who is a cat lover, they are all dog lovers.

Keep this compromise in mind, just in case
10 Doglike Cats For The Animal Lover Who Can’t Own A Dog

 

[Secret Chief]

Do you know how many photos of my cats I have on my phone?

480?

 

[PureX]

I think that pitting sex against spirituality is a mistake. To love someone and want to please them sexually, and to be pleased by them sexually, is to see and relate to the divine within ourselves and each other. That partner offering themselves to us is a gift from God, and the sex is a physical reflection of that gift. And to honor that gift we want to offer them ourselves in return.

You say you want a spiritual partner, but are you spiritually ready for that? And what's with all the cats? Pets are just pets. They're easier than people, but to choose them over people doesn't sound very spiritual, to me.

Sounds like you want a trouble free relationship more than a spiritual one. But relationships are not trouble free. They make us have to adapt, and change, to work to meet the other person half way. It's part of the deal. Especially in the beginning.

I respect not wanting the drama, and compromise at this stage in your life. But that probably does mean you'll be living alone.

 

[ChristineM]

Yes, sex does account for an awful lot of attachment, feeling, emotion, and bonding, but sex is not the only way to have those things. My best friend @Truthseeker has been married for 40 years and he has all those things but he hasn't had any sex since they first got married. They are bonded together in love for God and each other.

@Truthseeker is one person, yes sure it can work but in far more cases is a reason for failure of the marriage.
And i hope you got approval before spreading that across the internet.

Yes I did, but what I closed with is what I would be willing to accommodate, and I even said I might like it, if I was in love. I would like it if I loved him and he liked it because I would want him to be happy.

It's you life

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Love = Heart to Heart
Sex = Body to Body

And love with sex just puts it all together into something even better.

 

[Trailblazer]

480?

No, not THAT many, but I stopped counting a while ago.

 

[Trailblazer]

And love with sex just puts it all together into something even better.

Better for some people, but not better for all.

 

[Trailblazer]

@Truthseeker is one person, yes sure it can work but in far more cases is a reason for failure of the marriage.
And i hope you got approval before spreading that across the internet.

@Truthseeker has already posted about this on here, and he is my best friend, so I know that he has no problem with me posting about it.

@Truthseeker is one person, and I am another person. I am sure there are probably others, although there are probably more marriages that fail when people stop having sex, since most people consider sex important.

 

[Secret Chief]

No, not THAT many, but I stopped counting a while ago.

It was based on the number of cats

 

[Truthseeker]

So you stopped having sex because you were afraid that Sara might get pregnant? You never told me that. I thought she did not want sex with you because she is a lesbian.

Both apply. I think she wanted another child. This was before Michael was diagnosed with autism in about August 1991. As I said, for some reason I was afraid of having another child. I didn't tell Sara I was afraid.

We knew when Sara got pregnant with Michael. It was in February of 1988 during the Winter Olympics, and Bonnie Blair won the speed skating gold medal for the Americans, and we had sex that night. Or at least Sara knew, and she told me. That year we went to see "Rain Man" with Dustin Hoffman playing Raymond, an autistic man with special observing and mathematical powers, while otherwise being an idiot. Dustin Hoffman won best actor in the Oscars. It also won best picture. Autistic people are rarely like that depicted in that picture.

We were friends with Frank Qualls and Nancy Jacobs, who were a Baha'i married couple. Frank said to Nancy after sex, maybe we should stop at one child, and she said that it was already too late. She was right.