Criticism

[The Hammer]

I made videos critiquing millennial and boomer parents

I've seen boomer parents be closed off emotionally. When I made TikTok videos criticizing millennial and boomer parents, I accidentally created a social experiment.

www-insider-com.cdn.ampproject.org

".... defense strategies in relationships tend to be universal, meaning if you lash out at me when I trigger you, you are likely lashing out in the same way with your loved ones. This is known as a coping style." (Emphasis mine).

How do you respond to criticism?

Regardless of whether the advice or criticism is 'wrong', do you respond openly? Or double down on your assuredness?

It is important that we learn to take criticism of all sorts, and from all sources.

This thread inspired by the above article on one therapists responses to their criticism regarding parenting styles of millennials and boomer parents.

 

[SalixIncendium]

How do you respond to criticism?

I acknowledge it, assess it, and if it's substantiated, I make an adjustment. If it's not, I disregard it and move on.

 

[Yerda]

Varies from day to day for me. If I'm feeling sensitive I might launch a **** you or two.

Mostly I let all sorts of criticism wash right over me. Sure, I could be "taking valid criticism on board" and "growing as a person" but alternatively **** you.

 

[The Hammer]

I acknowledge it, assess it, and if it's substantiated, I make an adjustment. If it's not, I disregard it and move on.

That's an open minded response imo. I try to do the same with varying degrees of success. While ignoring incorrect criticism is usually pretty straightforward, actually internalizing valid criticism tends to cause many people discomfort.

Do you have any recommendations for those that seem to shirk the discomfort of growth? Or on the opposite side, making your case of criticism to someone who refuses to listen?

 

[Orbit]

I made videos critiquing millennial and boomer parents

I've seen boomer parents be closed off emotionally. When I made TikTok videos criticizing millennial and boomer parents, I accidentally created a social experiment.

www-insider-com.cdn.ampproject.org

".... defense strategies in relationships tend to be universal, meaning if you lash out at me when I trigger you, you are likely lashing out in the same way with your loved ones. This is known as a coping style." (Emphasis mine).

How do you respond to criticism?

Regardless of whether the advice or criticism is 'wrong', do you respond openly? Or double down on your assuredness?

It is important that we learn to take criticism of all sorts, and from all sources.

This thread inspired by the above article on one therapists responses to their criticism regarding parenting styles of millennials and boomer parents.

It depends on the type of criticism. If it's personal, like about an aspect of my personality, I consider the source. If the source is a jerk, I'll probably ignore that criticism. If the source is someone I respect, I will consider their view, but may or may not change anything after that reflection, depending on whether or not I think they had a valid point.

In my professional life, criticism is a constant, as one of the things I do is submit articles to scholarly journals for publication, which involves peer review, which can be quite brutal. I'll think about what the reviewer is saying, try to see it from their point of view, and will either take what they say on board, or argue against it depending on how reasonable it is. What I have found is that most of the time, there is something in what I have written that needs to be clarified, because they have taken a meaning that I did not intend, and are reacting to that. So of course, I would correct my writing to be more clear about the point in question.

 

[Left Coast]

I made videos critiquing millennial and boomer parents

I've seen boomer parents be closed off emotionally. When I made TikTok videos criticizing millennial and boomer parents, I accidentally created a social experiment.

www-insider-com.cdn.ampproject.org

".... defense strategies in relationships tend to be universal, meaning if you lash out at me when I trigger you, you are likely lashing out in the same way with your loved ones. This is known as a coping style." (Emphasis mine).

How do you respond to criticism?

Regardless of whether the advice or criticism is 'wrong', do you respond openly? Or double down on your assuredness?

It is important that we learn to take criticism of all sorts, and from all sources.

This thread inspired by the above article on one therapists responses to their criticism regarding parenting styles of millennials and boomer parents.

I relate to the millennial adults in the video who had emotionally closed off parents (in my case, one more than the other). I can be defensive when first getting criticism but if I let it marinate for a while and I realize it's legitimate then I soften. But it really depends on my headspace. Some days I'm very open to feedback and readily acknowledge my mistakes or ways I should change. Other days I'm less open-minded.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Do you have any recommendations for those that seem to shirk the discomfort of growth?

That's a great question.

I think it really comes down to managing one's ego. People, by nature, don't like to admit they have flaws, and rather than look inward, they tend to project outward. When faced with criticism, no matter how constructive it might be, the knee-jerk reaction is often to go on the defensive and react rather than just taking the criticism under advisement and doing a little self-assessment. I think it's helpful to slow down and take the time to look inward and ask oneself if change would be conducive with personal growth.

Or on the opposite side, making your case of criticism to someone who refuses to listen?

Approach is key. First, I think criticism should be done in the interest of helping the person rather than for personal gain. Next, I never tell someone what I think is wrong with them or what they should do or change in themselves. Doing so places people on the defensive automatically. My approach is to tell others what I would do or change in myself in a given circumstance, not what they should do or change, and let them make the decision if my choices are something they would do. They will either listen or they won't. Either way, their decision doesn't affect me.

 

[Vinayaka]

Firstly, sometimes criticism isn't criticism at all, but only another person expressing their POV. Sensitive people will see a lot of things as criticism, as that's what they're mind is on. That happens far too often, in my view. The mere 'I disagree' about something will set them off.

So personally, I try to read that aspect deeper, and ask, "Am I overreacting?"

That said, I think it is worthwhile to take a close look, or reflect on what is indeed true criticism. It can be incredibly useful, and further one's character. It's also reasonable to consider the source. There is a negative mindset that basically criticizes everything.

 

[bobhikes]

I made videos critiquing millennial and boomer parents

I've seen boomer parents be closed off emotionally. When I made TikTok videos criticizing millennial and boomer parents, I accidentally created a social experiment.

www-insider-com.cdn.ampproject.org

".... defense strategies in relationships tend to be universal, meaning if you lash out at me when I trigger you, you are likely lashing out in the same way with your loved ones. This is known as a coping style." (Emphasis mine).

How do you respond to criticism?

Regardless of whether the advice or criticism is 'wrong', do you respond openly? Or double down on your assuredness?

It is important that we learn to take criticism of all sorts, and from all sources.

This thread inspired by the above article on one therapists responses to their criticism regarding parenting styles of millennials and boomer parents.

Depends on my mood.
Most times ignore it.
If I asked for it Listen and try to understand
If I'm in a bad mode Lambast it in my mind and move on.
If I'm in a really good mood and it is given without request mull it over in my mind and determine if it has any value.

 

[osgart]

Constructive is the criticism I take. I actively seek out oppositional points of view; especially in areas I am deficient, or where I totally missed the learning curve altogether.

Well intentioned criticism is always welcome. At the very least I'm gaining a point of view I've never encountered, even when I disagree.

If someone can't take criticism then they'll never grow.

There are things that pass for criticism that are completely rejected because it's the illusion of it, and is only derogatory and destructive, or a fools game.

 

[Soandso]

Interesting article

It's hard for me to say exactly how I respond to criticism broadly as I have a tendency to take each occurrence I deal with in life and consider it on an individual basis. If two coworkers give me advice at work and one is a friend while the other is just bossy, I might perceive their advice in different ways

Generally I'm open to change though. I want to be a better version of myself if there is room for improvement, so I do appreciate open honesty. The more brutal the honesty, the better imo

 

[Twilight Hue]

I made videos critiquing millennial and boomer parents

I've seen boomer parents be closed off emotionally. When I made TikTok videos criticizing millennial and boomer parents, I accidentally created a social experiment.

www-insider-com.cdn.ampproject.org

".... defense strategies in relationships tend to be universal, meaning if you lash out at me when I trigger you, you are likely lashing out in the same way with your loved ones. This is known as a coping style." (Emphasis mine).

How do you respond to criticism?

Regardless of whether the advice or criticism is 'wrong', do you respond openly? Or double down on your assuredness?

It is important that we learn to take criticism of all sorts, and from all sources.

This thread inspired by the above article on one therapists responses to their criticism regarding parenting styles of millennials and boomer parents.

Sometimes I respond. Other times I just let others make a fool of themselves as they endlessly rant and rave to their hearts content.

 

[JustGeorge]

I think I was more open to criticism in the past. I'm likely becoming overly sensitive in my old age because of lack of balance of input over the years. Hearing too much criticism wears like a wound after awhile.