Corrupt A Wish

[Thief]

The large dogs will need chain link fence, and some discipline not to dig out from under it.
I assume by 'peeps' you have trespassers.
Have silhouettes made of human outline, shoot holes in the targets and erect the boards against the fence.

I wish I could come to Texas and do this for you.
I need a job.

 

[rojse]

Thief gets to go to texas to build the fence for a good rate, and doesn't have to pay for the trip. However, after the fence is built, the two dogs escape and maul a person, and Thief is sued by Kathryn for poor workmanship, and needs to return all of his wages, which he has spent on sin and debauchery.

I wish I knew the recipe for lasagne soup. :drool:

 

[Thief]

Granted...but at your first attempt your apron catches fire. As you struggle to put out fire, the rest of your kitchen is engulfed.

I wish my garage was already cleaned...I'm bushed.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Granted...but at your first attempt your apron catches fire. As you struggle to put out fire, the rest of your kitchen is engulfed.

I wish my garage was already cleaned...I'm bushed.

Your wish is granted. Your garage is clean but your yard and driveway is now a mess.

I wish I had my own free chauffeur to take me anywhere I please at any time of day or night.

 

[Thief]

Granted...but after the first day and night, your chauffeur was 'free' to take off...and he did.

I wish my book was published and making royalties.

 

[rojse]

Granted...but after the first day and night, your chauffeur was 'free' to take off...and he did.

I wish my book was published and making royalties.

Your book is published. No one likes it, because the average reader thinks that Dan Brown too intellectual as a writer. Your royalties end up being the sum of $25.10 before all of your books are taken to be pulped.

I wish RF had more emoticons.

 

[Vile Atheist]

Your book is published. No one likes it, because the average reader thinks that Dan Brown too intellectual as a writer. Your royalties end up being the sum of $25.10 before all of your books are taken to be pulped.

I wish RF had more emoticons.

In my omnipotency, I grant that RF has more emoticons, all of them being embarrassing pictures of you.

I wish for 2.0g of copper(II) sulfate. Try coming up with something for THAT!

 

[rojse]

In my omnipotency, I grant that RF has more emoticons, all of them being embarrassing pictures of you.

I wish for 2.0g of copper(II) sulfate. Try coming up with something for THAT!

ContentiusMaximus gets his copper sulfate. It is given to him mixed with a few thousand litres of seawater, which contain the diluted copper sulfate.

I wish for a bright red Ferrari that is in perfect working order.

 

[Thief]

Granted...but the title is in someone else's name, and you get arrested for possession of a stolen vehicle.

I wish the same car to be mine......all mine.

 

[rojse]

Granted...but the title is in someone else's name, and you get arrested for possession of a stolen vehicle.

I wish the same car to be mine......all mine.

You drive said car, and manage to crash it. You're insured for third party damage, but you could not afford to insure the red car itself.

You are left with a heap of wrecked red metal which you cry over every night.

I wish I had a shirt with Alfred E Neuman on it, with the slogan "What? Me Worry?" beneath.

 

[monta]

You drive said car, and manage to crash it. You're insured for third party damage, but you could not afford to insure the red car itself.

You are left with a heap of wrecked red metal which you cry over every night.

I wish I had a shirt with Alfred E Neuman on it, with the slogan "What? Me Worry?" beneath.

Granted, it is the coolest shirt ever,everyone is jealous, your neighbours stare out the window covetiously when it is drying on the line, you feel their eyes boring into you when you wear it in the street, you feel like you are being watched all the time, your innate paranoia is amplified to the point where you can't go outside wearing the shirt, but then you get worried they may break into your house and steal the shirt, you don't leave the house any more you have lost 120 lbs you are a ghost of a shell of a person, the shirt is keeping it's shape wonderfully but hangs off you now, you look like a child wearing your mothers clothes (again )

Also the ink on the shirt is poison and you die, the end.

I wish I hadn't paid €7.00 on this conditioner , it stinks.

 

[rojse]

Granted, it is the coolest shirt ever,everyone is jealous, your neighbours stare out the window covetiously when it is drying on the line, you feel their eyes boring into you when you wear it in the street, you feel like you are being watched all the time, your innate paranoia is amplified to the point where you can't go outside wearing the shirt, but then you get worried they may break into your house and steal the shirt, you don't leave the house any more you have lost 120 lbs you are a ghost of a shell of a person, the shirt is keeping it's shape wonderfully but hangs off you now, you look like a child wearing your mothers clothes (again )

Also the ink on the shirt is poison and you die, the end.

I wish I hadn't paid €7.00 on this conditioner , it stinks.

You haven't paid seven euros for that conditioner. You paid seven euros for another conditioner, and that one burns your hair and scalp so you have to wear a bandanna for the next three months.

I wish Monta would tell me how she knew that everyone already watches me all the time, whether I am out on the street or not.

 

[monta]

You haven't paid seven euros for that conditioner. You paid seven euros for another conditioner, and that one burns your hair and scalp so you have to wear a bandanna for the next three months.

I wish Monta would tell me how she knew that everyone already watches me all the time, whether I am out on the street or not.

I know because we share notes. ( my head is burning a little btw )

I wish I didn't have the flu

 

[Vile Atheist]

I know because we share notes. ( my head is burning a little btw )

I wish I didn't have the flu

Granted. You were misdiagnosed. You have syphilis instead.

 

[monta]

Granted. You were misdiagnosed. You have syphilis instead.

That's ok I'm already taking something for that

I wish you hadn't forgotten to make your wish in your haste to make a joke about a very serious disease that is responsible for a lot of deaths.

 

[Vile Atheist]

That's ok I'm already taking something for that

I wish you hadn't forgotten to make your wish in your haste to make a joke about a very serious disease that is responsible for a lot of deaths.

If I had not forgotten to do that, it means I remembered to make my wish in haste to make a joke about a very serious disease that is responsible for a lot of deaths.

So I don't need to hypothetically grant it...it's already granted....

 

[Thief]

So is the next wish up for grabs?
I wish someone would tell me.

 

[Vile Atheist]

So is the next wish up for grabs?
I wish someone would tell me.

Granted. Someone has just told you your car has been stolen. Fortunately, your insurance company will replace it with the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.

 

[Thief]

Make a wish Con Max.....

 

[Vile Atheist]

I wish Lucky Charms were actually lucky.