Can someone have a death wish and not be aware of it?

[sciatica]

I need to express this carefully.
Anyway. I might have a death wish. What are the symptoms? Is it similar to depression?
I lack optimism for the future. Ive only got maybe 20 or 30 years left being around 60 now.
Im not suicidal but ive lost ambition. Dont see a way to improve my career. Back pain. Wife sick. Low income. It wouldnt bother me not wake up tomorrow morning. But I need to be alive forcmy wife and dog. I have no kids. maybe having no kids gives my life less meaning.
Now I share all this with you but you know Im Christian. Christians are supposed to be optimistic. And Im not really optimistic by nature. Theres the contradiction.
Yeah so I need to fess up. I have a death wish. And it is affecting all my relations with people. I must bring a real neg. vibe to others.

 

[Galateasdream]

Sounds familiar.

I think many people realise at some point that they don't really have anything left they want to do, and much not hope for a lot of future happiness or success, so they tend to stick around to complete 'duties' - living for their spouse, kids, elderly parents, work, etc.

Connected to middle-age and mid-life crisis, I suspect.

 

[Samael_Khan]

I need to express this carefully.
Anyway. I might have a death wish. What are the symptoms? Is it similar to depression?
I lack optimism for the future. Ive only got maybe 20 or 30 years left being around 60 now.
Im not suicidal but ive lost ambition. Dont see a way to improve my career. Back pain. Wife sick. Low income. It wouldnt bother me not wake up tomorrow morning. But I need to be alive forcmy wife and dog. I have no kids. maybe having no kids gives my life less meaning.
Now I share all this with you but you know Im Christian. Christians are supposed to be optimistic. And Im not really optimistic by nature. Theres the contradiction.
Yeah so I need to fess up. I have a death wish. And it is affecting all my relations eith people. I must bring a real neg. vibe to others.

I can sort of relate. I used to feel the same when i was younger than 30. It was the legalistic religion I was a part of.

I think it can be dangerous and a sure sign it is dangerous is when you imagine yourself falling into a bottomless pit. All you can imagine is black.

Since you are a Christian you can read about Elijah and how he was depressed. It is a character you could possibly relate to. Also read Ecclesiastes.

I think that you should look further inwards to what is affecting you. Free yourself from any negative shackles that bind you and indulge in something new or something that you have always wished to do as long asthey arent detrimental to you or anyone elses wellbeing.

All the best.

 

[osgart]

I know this feeling and I combat it by trying to create positives in the midst of going through such episodes. I make up my mind to create positives even at the times that there isn't any. Doing something nice for an appreciative person. Or trying my hand at art. Or just listening to understand to myself or someone else about it.

 

[sciatica]

"just do some volunteer work and stop feeling sorry for yourself"...
some one might advise me

 

[Ayjaydee]

I need to express this carefully.
Anyway. I might have a death wish. What are the symptoms? Is it similar to depression?
I lack optimism for the future. Ive only got maybe 20 or 30 years left being around 60 now.
Im not suicidal but ive lost ambition. Dont see a way to improve my career. Back pain. Wife sick. Low income. It wouldnt bother me not wake up tomorrow morning. But I need to be alive forcmy wife and dog. I have no kids. maybe having no kids gives my life less meaning.
Now I share all this with you but you know Im Christian. Christians are supposed to be optimistic. And Im not really optimistic by nature. Theres the contradiction.
Yeah so I need to fess up. I have a death wish. And it is affecting all my relations eith people. I must bring a real neg. vibe to others.

I once was offered a job doing a job similar to ones I had supervised 20 years earlier and I moaned about it to a friend who had advanced to company president level in those same 20 years. He said: so what, its honourable important work, be the best at if they've ever seen! I took it and enjoyed it. Your 60, retirement approaches, be the best at your job that they've ever seen for the next 5 years! At 65, you then sit down, look back at everything you did and happened to you and spend the next years learning to understand how and why it happened that way! That is more than enough purpose for any three men! You know how to meditate so get busy.

 

[sciatica]

Sounds familiar.

I think many people realise at some point that they don't really have anything left they want to do, and much not hope for a lot of future happiness or success, so they tend to stick around to complete 'duties' - living for their spouse, kids, elderly parents, work, etc.

Connected to middle-age and mid-life crisis, I suspect.

I felt some compassion. Thanks . It helps to know Im not a total weirdo.

 

[sciatica]

I can sort of relate. I used to feel the same when i was younger than 30. It was the legalistic religion I was a part of.

I think it can be dangerous and a sure sign it is dangerous is when you imagine yourself falling into a bottomless pit. All you can imagine is black.

Since you are a Christian you can read about Elijah and how he was depressed. It is a character you could possibly relate to. Also read Ecclesiastes.

I think that you should look further inwards to what is affecting you. Free yourself from any negative shackles that bind you and indulge in something new or something that you have always wished to do as long asthey arent detrimental to you or anyone elses wellbeing.

All the best.

ok. elijah and ecclesiastes. your help is much appreciated

 

[sciatica]

I know this feeling and I combat it by trying to create positives in the midst of going through such episodes. I make up my mind to create positives even at the times that there isn't any. Doing something nice for an appreciative person. Or trying my hand at art. Or just listening to understand to myself or someone else about it.

thanks osgart. i swim and try to increase my distance each time.
also guitar is a hobby though i have plateaued.

 

[osgart]

thanks osgart. i swim and try to increase my distance each time.
also guitar is a hobby though i have plateaued.

Ever write a song? That would be pretty cool!

 

[Galateasdream]

I felt some compassion. Thanks . It helps to know Im not a total weirdo.

No problem.
I've felt somewhat the same for a long time now.

 

[sciatica]

Ever write a song? That would be pretty cool!

i cant visualise that occurring.i will be more than happy if i can do a good cover.

 

[osgart]

i cant visualise that occurring.i will be more than happy if i can do a good cover.

I have a Fender, American Standard, Eric Clapton edition. I used to love blues. I played a little drums in the garage when I was younger

 

[sciatica]

I have a Fender, American Standard, Eric Clapton edition. I used to love blues. I played a little drums in the garage when I was younger

i was just thinking today about playing the instrumenral long version of Layla on nylon string .
fingerstyle. i need a playing partner of similar playing level

 

[osgart]

i was just thinking today about playing the instrumenral long version of Layla on nylon string .
fingerstyle. i need a playing partner of similar playing level

I mainly fiddle with it. I am happy when I can stay in key . Lol! I used to have a four track recording device, so I loved messing with that.

 

[Deeje]

"just do some volunteer work and stop feeling sorry for yourself"...
some one might advise me

Yeah..."snap out of it"....as if you wave some magic wand that it will all just go away.

Congratulations! You are normal!

Being a Christians doesn't mean that the trials of life do not affect you.
The here and now still has to be dealt with, and no matter how hard we try to concentrate on the future promises, our life experiences can get us down.

"When the living begin to envy the dead, something is radically wrong in this life"....so when I hear so many people express that sentiment, I know that conditions in the world have become more that most people can take. I hear many making a silent scream...."It is enough!"

Ill health is one thing that a lot of people have to contend with. And the medical system is nigh on to useless when it comes to really "curing" anything. "Here take this pill...and if you have adverse side effects (which you inevitably will) here's another pill to help you cope with the first one....more side effects? Oh here...have some more pills." $$$$$ cher ching!

Looking at the other side of that coin, it is just as open to abuse. When profit drives anything, you can bet that there will be no end of illness in sight if the customer base can be maintained until they end up with 'death by doctoring'. At least most natural treatments don't kill you, even if they don't cure you.
Dealing with symptoms without dealing with the cause of an illness is ridiculous! All they want is customers for life.

What about pollution? We are choking our planet to death.....nothing we eat, drink or breathe is unaffected....any joy there?

Then there are disease epidemics that threaten to turn into pandemics....the latest coronavirus, after SARS and ebola....diabetes, heart disease and cancer are constantly on the rise, and no matter how much money is raised for 'research', no one ever comes up with a cure.....ever wondered why? In this day and age we can't conquer inner space when mankind has spent more money trying to get to outer space. Is that rational?

Natural disasters....how many of them do we hear about now.....how many countries are NOT experiencing weird weather events and their after effects? Floods, avalanches, earthquakes, typhoons, tsunamis, wild fires, rising sea levels....each with their own tragedies.

Then there are plane crashes and car accidents...or workplace incidences when people leave and never come home.

I can see why so many get down with depression .....and it seems that no one is coming up with any real workable solutions in the near future.

I thank God that I can see past these things to a better future, but it doesn't make living in this world any easier....

 

[Ayjaydee]

Yeah..."snap out of it"....as if you wave some magic wand that it will all just go away.

Congratulations! You are normal!

Being a Christians doesn't mean that the trials of life do not affect you.
The here and now still has to be dealt with, and no matter how hard we try to concentrate on the future promises, our life experiences can get us down.

"When the living begin to envy the dead, something is radically wrong in this life"....so when I hear so many people express that sentiment, I know that conditions in the world have become more that most people can take.I hear many making a silent scream...."It is enough!"

Ill health is one thing that a lot of people have to contend with. And the medical system is nigh on to useless when it comes to really "curing" anything. "Here take this pill...and if you have adverse side effects (which you inevitably will) here's another pill to help you cope with the first one....more side effects? Oh here...have some more pills $$$$$ cher ching!

Looking at the other side of that coin, it is just as open to abuse. When profit drives anything, you can bet that there will be no end of illness in sight if the customer base can be maintained until they end up with 'death by doctoring'. At least most natural treatments don't kill you, even if they don't cure you.
Dealing with symptoms without dealing with the cause of an illness is ridiculous! All they want is customers for life.

What about pollution? We are choking our planet to death.....nothing we eat, drink or breathe is unaffected....any joy there?

Then there are disease epidemics that threaten to turn into pandemics....the latest coronavirus, after SARS and ebola....diabetes, heart disease and cancer are constantly on the rise, and no matter how much money is raised for 'research', no one ever comes up with a cure.....ever wondered why? In this day and age we can't conquer inner space when mankind has spent more money trying to get to outer space. Is that rational?

Natural disasters....how many of them do we hear about now.....how many countries are NOT experiencing weird weather events and their after effects? Floods, avalanches, earthquakes, typhoons, tsunamis, wild fires, rising sea levels....each with their own tragedies.

Then there are plane crashes and car accidents...or workplace incidences when people leave and never come home.

I can see why so many get down with depression .....and it seems that no one is coming up with any real workable solutions in the near future.

I thank God that I can see past these things to a better future, but it doesn't make living in this world any easier....

Thankfully I dont have Hope's of a better world to come so I can concentrate on living in this one as well as I can.

 

[sciatica]

Yeah..."snap out of it"....as if you wave some magic wand that it will all just go away.

Congratulations! You are normal!

Being a Christians doesn't mean that the trials of life do not affect you.
The here and now still has to be dealt with, and no matter how hard we try to concentrate on the future promises, our life experiences can get us down.

"When the living begin to envy the dead, something is radically wrong in this life"....so when I hear so many people express that sentiment, I know that conditions in the world have become more that most people can take.I hear many making a silent scream...."It is enough!"

Ill health is one thing that a lot of people have to contend with. And the medical system is nigh on to useless when it comes to really "curing" anything. "Here take this pill...and if you have adverse side effects (which you inevitably will) here's another pill to help you cope with the first one....more side effects? Oh here...have some more pills $$$$$ cher ching!

Looking at the other side of that coin, it is just as open to abuse. When profit drives anything, you can bet that there will be no end of illness in sight if the customer base can be maintained until they end up with 'death by doctoring'. At least most natural treatments don't kill you, even if they don't cure you.
Dealing with symptoms without dealing with the cause of an illness is ridiculous! All they want is customers for life.

What about pollution? We are choking our planet to death.....nothing we eat, drink or breathe is unaffected....any joy there?

Then there are disease epidemics that threaten to turn into pandemics....the latest coronavirus, after SARS and ebola....diabetes, heart disease and cancer are constantly on the rise, and no matter how much money is raised for 'research', no one ever comes up with a cure.....ever wondered why? In this day and age we can't conquer inner space when mankind has spent more money trying to get to outer space. Is that rational?

Natural disasters....how many of them do we hear about now.....how many countries are NOT experiencing weird weather events and their after effects? Floods, avalanches, earthquakes, typhoons, tsunamis, wild fires, rising sea levels....each with their own tragedies.

Then there are plane crashes and car accidents...or workplace incidences when people leave and never come home.

I can see why so many get down with depression .....and it seems that no one is coming up with any real workable solutions in the near future.

I thank God that I can see past these things to a better future, but it doesn't make living in this world any easier....

wow deede
thanks for taking the time to write that

 

[Deeje]

Thankfully I dont have Hope's of a better world to come so I can concentrate on living in this one as well as I can.

Not much to look forward to then..... Happy navigating....its a rough trip when you have nothing better coming.

 

[sciatica]

Not much to look forward to then..... Happy navigating....its a rough trip when you have nothing better coming.

hey ..you suggesting i dont look forward to Heaven?
I am still Christian.....i will do my time in Purgatory first though