lunamoth
Will to love
Seperate yourself. End communication. Highly restrict when in your sacred place (say your home). The help?
I think I'm finally getting you here Victor. I think this is a good example of why hard and fast rules like 'family unity above all else' can be problematic. Sure, family unity is a worthy goal and can be of tremendous source of strength. But you also have to think about others who are affected by the actions of those who may bring harm. As Booko says, sometimes you have to love them from a distance, and that is the best thing for everyone involved.
Love does not mean you have to take someone else's problems onto yourself, or let them bring their problems into your life, even if they are family. In fact, it may not be the loving thing to let a family member escape the consequences of their actions, whether those consequences are that they are not allowed in your home, or that they are in trouble with the police, or whatever.
To me 'to love' in this situation is to remain free to think as clearly as possible about all the people involved, including yourself and your kids and make decisions that keep everyone safe. It's one of those many many parts of life that is not clear cut, not black and white. It is possible to love people while acknowledging and dealing with the reality that you can't be around them.