Awkward, embarrassing and humiliating

[Badran]

I was once riding the bus back from university on a very rare occasion (since i don't usually ride the bus or any public transportation), and the bus driver didn't slow down and stop where i wanted to get off, even though i told him to. There's this guy that collects tickets at the back, and i was at the back, so i asked him to tell the bus driver to stop. He yelled and told him to stop, but he didn't.

So then he told me; "Just jump". The bus door was actually open while it was moving, which happens very often. I looked at him for a moment, but then i realized he wasn't kidding. The bus was jammed and the driver couldn't hear us. By the time i would've gotten to the front through the crowd my stop would've been long gone. So, i jumped.

I didn't know how fast was the bus going, but as soon as my feet touched the ground, my face closely followed and smacked right into the asphalt. I rolled about a couple of times and i took both an old lady and her grandson (i'm guessing that this is who he was) in my way.

The kid's glasses flew off his face as he got knocked to the floor. After all three of us got up, she started cleaning him from the dirt, and i did the same for myself, while apologizing sincerely for the horror i've caused them. After she was done and put his glasses back on his face, she turned at me and started to hit me real slow. She was yelling and swearing too. I was kind of just looking at her, with my hands a bit raised to block a little, with tears in my eyes on account of my nose hitting the ground too hard. I apologized again as she hit me, but couldn't restrain myself (even though i really tried), and a smirk drew itself on my face. That angered her further, and she stopped and kept swearing at me while urging her grandson to start moving and they both left.

Just then i noticed three girls dressed in school uniform, probably in high school, who were watching the whole thing and giggling. I still had tears as i looked at them. Then i turned around and started on my way, with a deep scar that never left my heart. A scar of the day i jumped off a moving bus, got injured and tasted asphalt, then got assaulted by an old woman while three teenage girls watched and giggled.

Wanna share some of your own scars?

They don't have to be as soul crushing as the above though, any awkward or embarrassing situation will do.

 

[Madhuri]

Well jeez, I don't have any stories like this to share!
My immediate thought is that in this country, you could have sued the bus company for quite a lot of money.

If I think of some embarrassing memory, I'll be back.

 

[Sunstone]

It was gripping to read your well told story, Badran. I cannot at the moment think of any moment in my life that really parallels your unfortunate succession of one damnable moment heaped upon another. I'll think a little harder though and see if I can't recall something that at least approximates your misadventures.

I love the final humiliation --- three school girls giggling at you. I would have died after going through all that just to have three unsympathetic school girls giggling at me!

 

[YmirGF]

Wanna share some of your own scars?

They don't have to be as soul crushing as the above though, any awkward or embarrassing situation will do.

*shiver*

You poor kid.

You reminded me of a time long ago when I was a huge fan of 10-speed bikes. I guess I was 21 or so. It was a glorious morning. I was racing home after being out and about, but not wildly racing. I had very good control on a bike. Well... there is this hill. A BIG hill, that is on about a 50 degree grade and I was over the crest and barreling down at a fairly good clip. I looked behind me and saw traffic was about 3/4 of a block away and there was an intersection coming up in about 2 blocks. SO....
I eased the bike over to the area between the curb and the road. Everything went fine as I tried to get over into the "slot". Then it happened.

As best as I can construct... the curb and the road in that particular part were exactly opposite to the norm. Normally the pavement curves down to the cement curb. In the area I attempted this the asphalt was fully 1-2 inches BELOW the cement curb and when my front tire hit it at that speed, it literally collapsed into a pretzel shape... at approximately 40 mph. I flew over the handle bars and rolled a few times ending up at the side of the road feeling very dazed and confused. Shock hits fast when you are badly injured. I sat there trying to figure out what happened, spitting out bits of gravel in my mouth. A white van pulled over, a man took my arm and said, "I'll take you to Emergency." With that I got in the truck and he tossed my wrecked bike into the van.

Later... at the hospital, the nurse finally said that they had done everything they could. At the time, I was fairly good looking... anyways, I looked in a mirror and let out a little cry. My nose was skinned. Part of my front tooth was missing and I now sported a horrid gash under my chin. (10 stitches or so... who knows - it's about 1-1/2 inches long.) My knees and arms were a mass of weepy bandages. I held up pretty well - all things considered.

Later... that night, two friends came by and I was trying to cope... when suddenly I started to cry. Everyone looked so concerned and asked what was wrong... because one friend had just said something funny. Chocked I said, "I hurts a lot when I try to laugh." I sat there blubbering and they did their best to calm me down... The asphalt burns on my arms lasted for a few weeks and were incredibly painful while they healed.

Oh, and that gravel I talked about earlier... that was my tooth. *sigh*
Oddly, I have not ridden a bike seriously since... don't know why.

 

[Titanic]

Really to many to say. My childhood was pretty bad...

 

[Sunstone]

OK, Badran, I've thought of something. It's an event that I once told croak about when the two of us were in chat together. Afterwards, I thought it made such a good story that I posted it to my blog. It doesn't seem like such a good story now that I'm re-reading it, but I cannot at the moment think of a better one, so, I'll just cut and paste it from my blog:

I was exchanging emails today with a friend who lives in Lebanon. She’s a night owl and, in one of her emails, she mentioned that it was five to one in the morning her time.


At that point in our exchange, I had run out of news and other things to say, so it suddenly came to me to cook up an instant tradition: “The tradition of telling fire fighter stories in the wee hours.”


Yes, an instant tradition that, like instant coffee, has only convenience to recommend it.


Nevertheless, here is the email I sent back to her (the story is true):


Five to one in the morning?


Why didn’t you tell me! Don’t you know, my friend, that by tradition the early morning hours are the time for fire fighter stories!


I mean, have I told you before now that years ago I paid for my college room and board by working as a fire fighter?


It’s true! I used to run into burning buildings for fun and profit! I was mad then, perfectly insane, and I even voted Republican!


But, have I told you my favorite story from those years yet?


The story begins at 5:00 in the morning. I am asleep in bed at the fire station when the alarm comes in.


A motel is on fire!


I leap out of bed even though I am still mostly asleep. I hurry to put on my uniform. Then, I hear the fire trucks starting up. Jeebers! The other men are way ahead of me!


How did that happen? There is no time to pause to find out. I rush through putting on the rest of my uniform, and I dash for the truck bay.


When I get there, the trucks are already leaving, but I run and jump on the tail platform of the last fire truck headed out. I grab the safety bar with both hands, as I am supposed to do in order to keep from falling off the truck.


I made it! What a relief! I allow myself a smug smile. Nothing can defeat a real fire fighter.


As we siren down the road to the motel, I look over my shoulder. There is a station wagon behind us, following us to the fire. The station wagon is full of little kids and driven by a mother in her housecoat. Obviously they are following us to see the fire.
Little kids! How sweet! They probably want to grow up to be just like me.


Suddenly I become aware of a horrifying sensation — my pants are sliding down my legs!


I look down — in my haste I had forgotten to zip up and belt!


Damn it! There is no way I can take both my hands off the safety rail, nor even a way to reach that far down with just one hand and pull my pants up.


I look over my shoulder again — only my great big fire fighter’s turn-out coat protects me from mooning a whole family of kids and their mother.


It happens that’s the only saving grace of the morning — my coat — for my pants by now are almost around my knees. In a moment of painful self-recognition, I realize the kids in the car behind me are perhaps no longer wishing to grow up to be just like me.


We reach the motel. The truck stops and I am at last able to reach down and pull up my pants. But just as I finish, I look around and notice the TV crews have arrived with their cameras.


For one tenth of a second, the thought crosses my mind that they have filmed me and that I will be on the morning news pulling up my pants at a fire.


For one tenth of a second, I grasp that my brother fire fighters will never let me forget this morning — not even forget it for at least 30 minutes after I have died — even should I be so unfortunate after this morning as to live to an old age.


For one tenth of a second, I vividly imagine my Chief’s face when he tunes in the news that morning.


For one tenth of a second I come the closest I will ever come as a fire fighter to fainting on the job.

 

[Sunstone]

Do you have any other awkward, embarrassing, and humiliating moments, Badran. I hope you don't mind my saying that your first has whetted my appetite for more.

 

[Sunstone]

Badran, I have another awkward, embarrassing, and humiliating moment that I am going to tell you despite the fact that you have never done anything to me so bad that you deserve having such a boring story inflicted on you!

In my sophomore year at university, I was in the bars one night with Kevin, a friend of mine. The two of us were sitting next to each other at the bar counter when Maryann came in. She recognized Kevin as a friend of hers and sat down to chat on the other side of him from me. Then her husband arrived. I forget his name now, but he sat down on the other side of Maryann from Kevin and me. So, going from left to right, you had the husband, then Maryann, then Kevin, then me.

All was happy for a brief moment in time.

Somehow Maryann got it into her head that I was a most fascinating specimen of manhood. I happen to know that was going through her head because she got up, came over, crawled onto my lap, and threw her arms around me.

For some reason, her husband appeared not to notice at first.

On the other hand, I noticed immediately. Or, at least, a certain part of me did, if you get my drift. Nor did that part escape her, for she whispered to me that old line, "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me".

She was a good looking woman, Badran, although she was much older than me. Bu8t despite that, I found her attentions to me awkward and embarrassing in part because she was a married woman, and in part because her attentions were so overt and blatant. I felt that not only was her husband watching us, but so must be everyone else in the bar.

So I hinted to her that she might want to get off my lap. And when she ignored the hint, I tried another hint. And yet another when that one was ignored. I refused to tell her straight out to get off my lap, however, and that was almost certainly because I was intensely enjoying her being there -- no matter how guilty it made me feel!

Now, I thought all along that her husband was aware of us and even of the fact Maryann was almost --- not quite, but almost -- giving me a lap dance as she quite intentionally squirmed and shifted on my lap. But it turned out that her husband was so wrapped up talking with Kevin that he was totally ignoring his wife.

And then he did notice.

The temperature of the room must have suddenly increased by about 20 degrees. Maryann's husband soared into anger. His face turned an explosive red. And most of the words that then thundered would not get past the language filter on this Forum.

I thought for a moment I was about to fight him to the death. Fortunately, Kevin restrained him. The situation then deescalated just enough for me to take my leave. But I left feeling awkward, embarrassed, and humiliated -- because I had taken such illegitimate pleasure in the attentions of some other person's wife.

 

[Horrorble]

I don't have many devastating moments but I remember when I was 11 and I was taking a dump in the toilet and then the window cleaner came, nnnnooooooo!

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I tripped over a squirrel on the Purdue campus back in 1990. All while I was smiling at a really cute young man. I can't remember which class I was walking to, but there was a group of men who were hanging out talking, and one of them caught my eye. We started smiling at each other when a squirrel ran across my path brushing its squirrel-y rodent-like body and tail across my feet, and I completely tripped over it and myself as a result. I never got to meet that guy.

I also once while driving to a friends apartment, that I suddenly wanted to sing the national anthem, I guess to practice a fantasy of singing it before a televised World Series or Superbowl. Right when I got to the last line, "And the home of the brave!" and I pulled into the parking lot, there was a group of young men (seems to be a running theme), standing by a van. I caught sight of them too late, and decided to just go with it and blast it out as loud as I could. I parked, rolled up the windows, walked out of the car while they all were staring at me with the most amused looks. Then I flashed a smile and a wink at all of them, and walked away to my friends place. Once I turned the corner at the building, I heard them laughing, and I was completely mortified hoping that someday I could laugh about it in the future. It took an hour before I wound up giggling about it.

Finally, after hundreds and hundreds of shows I've done, there's bound to be a wardrobe malfunction here and there. That's happened, not Nipplegate style, but revealing nonetheless. One incident involved bottoms I was wearing underneath my dress on stage began to seriously ride up my tush, giving me one of those painful wedgies. But it wasn't that itself that bugged me. It was a series of rolls and turns I did toward the center of the stage where I wound up facing the back, and my dress flipped up and wrapped around my shoulders....and stayed there. The choreography had me standing there facing the back in a pose for more than 30 seconds. The audience had ample time to take a very L-O-N-G look at my entire backside, wedgie and all.

 

[Caladan]

I have plenty I suppose but here is one that just jumped back to memory. I think the real embarrassment goes to my friend, but I suppose I share it a little.

Army days. We were 20. Me and my friend are about to finish a night of navigation in the Southern Israeli desert as we approach a pretty grotesque scene. We see a huge, dirty, terrifying wolf devouring a stray sheep of the local Bedouin and tearing it open. Right there in the middle of nowhere, the Israeli wilderness. The wolf raises its head from the corpse and stares at us. We freeze and stare back. He starts to growl and slowly begins approaching us. Now, both me and my friend are armed to the teeth but we were so mesmerized by the whole scene that we completely abandoned the thought of shooting the wolf (or in the air). What we tried to do instead was to slowly make our way around the wolf's breakfast and out of his territory. We start to slowly take a distance and walk around, but the wolf keeps growling and begins to follow us, closing the gap in a very short time and giving a bite into my friend's thigh.
Now I don't remember how exactly we broke contact with the wolf and how exactly we made it cease further assault, but we managed.

Now we were faced with two options. Reporting the incident by radio, or keeping to our assignment. We were already at the last few miles of our navigation and knowing our lieutenant we had reservations about reporting back with excuses about not being able to complete our trek. Our lieutenant was professional, strict, and a perfectionist in general. Excuses are no good.
So we decided to keep marching.

When we reported back at gathering point to our lieutenant, he snapped at us for not reporting the incident making us feel even more stupid than we already felt.
However things were even worse for my friend, who had to go through dozens of shots to his stomach to prevent rabies.

I concluded several things from the event. Don't hesitate to shoot in the air if it saves you trouble. Don't be ashamed to report when in trouble. And third but not least, don't disturb a wolf in the middle of breakfast.

 

[Sunstone]

Caladan, your story is fascinating from beginning to end. Hell, I didn't even know there were still wild wolves in Israel, let alone that they were sometimes bold enough to attack people.

 

[Alceste]

I tripped over a squirrel on the Purdue campus back in 1990. All while I was smiling at a really cute young man. I can't remember which class I was walking to, but there was a group of men who were hanging out talking, and one of them caught my eye. We started smiling at each other when a squirrel ran across my path brushing its squirrel-y rodent-like body and tail across my feet, and I completely tripped over it and myself as a result. I never got to meet that guy.

I also once while driving to a friends apartment, that I suddenly wanted to sing the national anthem, I guess to practice a fantasy of singing it before a televised World Series or Superbowl. Right when I got to the last line, "And the home of the brave!" and I pulled into the parking lot, there was a group of young men (seems to be a running theme), standing by a van. I caught sight of them too late, and decided to just go with it and blast it out as loud as I could. I parked, rolled up the windows, walked out of the car while they all were staring at me with the most amused looks. Then I flashed a smile and a wink at all of them, and walked away to my friends place. Once I turned the corner at the building, I heard them laughing, and I was completely mortified hoping that someday I could laugh about it in the future. It took an hour before I wound up giggling about it.

Finally, after hundreds and hundreds of shows I've done, there's bound to be a wardrobe malfunction here and there. That's happened, not Nipplegate style, but revealing nonetheless. One incident involved bottoms I was wearing underneath my dress on stage began to seriously ride up my tush, giving me one of those painful wedgies. But it wasn't that itself that bugged me. It was a series of rolls and turns I did toward the center of the stage where I wound up facing the back, and my dress flipped up and wrapped around my shoulders....and stayed there. The choreography had me standing there facing the back in a pose for more than 30 seconds. The audience had ample time to take a very L-O-N-G look at my entire backside, wedgie and all.

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[Badran]

Well jeez, I don't have any stories like this to share!
My immediate thought is that in this country, you could have sued the bus company for quite a lot of money.

The bus also almost run over my head after i fell, i could see it just passing barely missing me. I'd expect a lot of money for all this!

Yet, look what i got.

I love the final humiliation --- three school girls giggling at you. I would have died after going through all that just to have three unsympathetic school girls giggling at me!

I admit that's my favorite part.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Pics or it didn't happen.

I assume you meant the squirrel, right?

A few of my friends on FB can remember the show. The stage manager at the time after I got off stage kept running and prancing around backstage with a pair of trunks over his pants pulled up tight to create a makeshift mock g-string, and he was whispering (since obviously this was during a performance), "Hi, my name is Heather! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!!"

The whole cast and crew were all nearly in tears from trying to contain the laughter. My face was beet red, I was so embarrassed. :cover:

 

[Badran]

Oddly, I have not ridden a bike seriously since... don't know why.

Wow, that's pretty intense. I can see how it might have affected your desire to bike as seriously as you once did. I had a much less serious experience while riding a crazy horse once, where all of a sudden a big hole appeared in the ground, and the horse came to a full halt almost immediately, and i carried on for a bit alone in the air, flipped upside down and landed on the sand.

Because it was on sand, thankfully, i didn't end up injured from that. I got a serious injury the same day though when i got back on and fell again in a more twisted manner.

I fell off, but was still stuck to the horse because one of my legs didn't get free, and my upper body which was now being dragged along the ground got twisted in opposition to my lower body.

 

[Badran]

Badran, I have another awkward, embarrassing, and humiliating moment that I am going to tell you despite the fact that you have never done anything to me so bad that you deserve having such a boring story inflicted on you!

Well, i wouldn't say it's boring. For instance, i just developed a crush over Maryann.

Finally, after hundreds and hundreds of shows I've done, there's bound to be a wardrobe malfunction here and there. That's happened, not Nipplegate style, but revealing nonetheless. One incident involved bottoms I was wearing underneath my dress on stage began to seriously ride up my tush, giving me one of those painful wedgies. But it wasn't that itself that bugged me. It was a series of rolls and turns I did toward the center of the stage where I wound up facing the back, and my dress flipped up and wrapped around my shoulders....and stayed there. The choreography had me standing there facing the back in a pose for more than 30 seconds. The audience had ample time to take a very L-O-N-G look at my entire backside, wedgie and all.

Since i read this, i've been having a hysterical phase of laughter that doesn't seem to have any end in sight.

 

[Sunstone]

I've got another story for you, Badran. This one is just in case you think I'm a real smooth pick up artist when it comes to women. I know you don't really believe that -- no one believes it, especially women -- but just in case you had any hopes I might be a real smooth pick up artist, this story will crush those hopes forever.

When I was at university, I became intensely infatuated with a woman, Crystal, who was a resident adviser for one of the dorm floors. Just so you know, a resident adviser is a person, often a grad student, who is paid to live on a dorm floor in order to both help students with their problems and keep them in line. In that light, you should know that Crystal was almost universally hated by her floor mates.

Despite nearly everyone's opinion of her, I somehow got it into by head that she was fascinating. And that went on for a month or two until the night of the party. During the party, I got a wee bit drunk. Perhaps because of that, I also got a wee bit horny. As Shakespeare said, "alcohol increases the desire".

I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated as the party wore on because I was so anxious to introduce myself to Crystal and make a favorable impression on her that I could not for the life of me figure out just how to introduce myself to her and make a favorable impression on her. The the party ended and the lights were turned on.

Suddenly I was seized by the worse kind of desperation -- drunken desperation! I shouted from one end of the room to the other, where Crystal stood, in the loudest voice possible: "Crystal, you're a *****, but I love you!"

As it turned out, it was not quite the thing to say in order to introduce myself and leave a favorable impression.

Perhaps worse, my friends never let me hear the end of it. Even a year later, they were still getting laughs among themselves by suddenly and without warning now and then yelling out (in my presence, of course) "Crystal, you're a *****, but I love you!"

 

[Sunstone]

I assume you meant the squirrel, right?

A few of my friends on FB can remember the show. The stage manager at the time after I got off stage kept running and prancing around backstage with a pair of trunks over his pants pulled up tight to create a makeshift mock g-string, and he was whispering (since obviously this was during a performance), "Hi, my name is Heather! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!!"

The whole cast and crew were all nearly in tears from trying to contain the laughter. My face was beet red, I was so embarrassed. :cover:

That's downright hilarious, Heather! Especially since it involves you who I've always imagined as beyond normal embarrassment.

 

[Badran]

Do you have any other awkward, embarrassing, and humiliating moments, Badran. I hope you don't mind my saying that your first has whetted my appetite for more.

I can't blame you. I have another one also involving an older women hitting me.

It happened a few years before the one i shared in the OP. I was standing infront of a movie theater with a couple of people waiting for the doors to open. There was a big crowd waiting, of course. As i stood there, someone pushed me from the back. I turned around and saw that an old woman did it, and she was in the process of pushing me again.

Neither pushes had any considerable force behind them, i almost didn't move. But i could see in the second one that at least, as far as she was trying to, the pushes were supposed to be intense. She was angry, and was putting a lot into it. Then, she hugged a young girl, while staring at me, and started to walk away with her. The little girl stared at me too, with an expression and eyes that looked like they were blaming me for being a horrible person.

I was mesmerized, but i quickly figured that may be she thought i was rubbing against her or something. Or may be someone else did and they thought it was me, i'm not sure. So, i loudly asked them to wait and tell me what this was about. They neither stopped nor answered, and a guy watching decided to intervene.

He approached me and talked in an aggressive voice, kind of trying to put an end to what he thought was a continuation of my supposed harassment to them. He said something like; "What's up, buddy?". So then i said; "What's up, ************?".

He rolled his eyes, twisted his lips, shook his head and walked away. I noticed that a lot of other people in the crowd were also looking at me and shaking their heads, blaming me with all sorts of expressions for my shameful behavior. I almost burst out in anger at everybody, but then i smiled instead and turned back to the people i was with, who at that point were almost crying in laughter.