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Are Some People Just Born Bad?

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?
 

Jumi

Well-Known Member
This is my opinion, but many people who were "thoroughly disciplined"(assuming bodily punishments as a child) often have these kind of problems.
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
This is my opinion, but many people who were "thoroughly disciplined"(assuming bodily punishments as a child) often have these kind of problems.
I mean he wasn't spoiled, he was taught manners, right and wrong, etc. I'm not sure why 'discipline' is such a dirty word. Also, I was spanked as a child and I haven't these issues. But discipline comes in many forms; such a a rewards/good points system, a naughty-step system, a no-dinner-no-pudding system, etc.
 
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bobhikes

Nondetermined
Premium Member
In my experiences it is experiences that mostly shape a persons behavior. While Temper and patience and some other qualities might be tied to biology, experiences will moderate them or enforce them.

It is very hard for us to understand the experiences of others even if explained to us as we won't experience them the same.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?

It's difficult to say what makes people what they are. Despite however his parents might have raised him, if he has any older siblings who had influence, that might also affect his character. Perhaps something that happened in school or in his early adulthood might have affected his outlook as well.

Also, just out of curiosity, if he's your dad, how do you know what kind of upbringing he actually had? I've heard some people say this before, "he had a good upbringing," but unless you actually walk in the person's shoes, it's impossible to know exactly what kind of upbringing he had.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
a no-dinner-no-pudding system, etc.

This reminds me of that Pink Floyd song from The Wall: "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat??!?"
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
It's difficult to say what makes people what they are. Despite however his parents might have raised him, if he has any older siblings who had influence, that might also affect his character. Perhaps something that happened in school or in his early adulthood might have affected his outlook as well.

Also, just out of curiosity, if he's your dad, how do you know what kind of upbringing he actually had? I've heard some people say this before, "he had a good upbringing," but unless you actually walk in the person's shoes, it's impossible to know exactly what kind of upbringing he had.
I live with my paternal grandparents. I know the kind of people they are and am pretty thoroughly acquainted with stories of my dad's childhood. He has one half-sibling but they didn't live together. She was in Scotland and he is in England.

At school he was given all the support he needed. He played truant a lot and eventually just quit going altogether at 14 years.
 

Kilgore Trout

Misanthropic Humanist
Some people are wired to be bigger jerks than other people. They have to work harder, and be more aware, if they want to be decent. Of course, some people just don't care about being decent, because they're own needs are all that matter. I don't know if I'd characterize these people as "bad," but rather underdeveloped, immature, and having weak character. My father was/is generally like this as well. Not a terrible person, just blithely unaware that other people have thoughts and feelings - also, a strong need to not be challenged, so created a bubble in which his ego could stay safe.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I live with my paternal grandparents. I know the kind of people they are and am pretty thoroughly acquainted with stories of my dad's childhood. He has one half-sibling but they didn't live together. She was in Scotland and he is in England.

At school he was given all the support he needed. He played truant a lot and eventually just quit going altogether at 14 years.

Well, I suppose it could be due to dropping out early. If he was truant a lot from school, then something was obviously going on with him back then. It doesn't necessarily mean that he had a bad upbringing, but there must have been something happening that would cause him to want to avoid school. Apart from the discipline, did his parents have him tested for any learning disabilities or psychological problems?
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Well, I suppose it could be due to dropping out early. If he was truant a lot from school, then something was obviously going on with him back then. It doesn't necessarily mean that he had a bad upbringing, but there must have been something happening that would cause him to want to avoid school. Apart from the discipline, did his parents have him tested for any learning disabilities or psychological problems?
Diagnosed ADHD. He disputed this and said he was just bored. School bored him and I am inclined to agree. He shows absolutely no symptoms of it now. (Unless everything I listed are?)
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Diagnosed ADHD. He disputed this and said he was just bored. School bored him and I am inclined to agree. He shows absolutely no symptoms of it now. (Unless everything I listed are?)

I suppose it could be that. Getting back to your original question, I don't think anyone is actually "born bad." It seems like he might still have some lingering issues and emotional baggage that he's not willing to deal with, so it just makes him a difficult person to live with.
 

Fire_Monkey

Member
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?


Well, yeah...you are asking the age-old question of "Nature or Nurture?" which has been debated for many years in Psychology and Sociology, and also Criminology. (But really all of that goes back to Psych).

The answer of course to the question, which almost all mental health professionals now agree on, is "it can be both. Or either."

A person can be born with a chemical imbalance in the brain which can cause violent or anti-social behavior. Things like dopamine or Serotonin shortages. Or a problem in the frontal lobe processing where decisions are made. Or in the part of the brain where fear and empathy is processed. (I believe that's the limbic center).

But this genetic pre-dispostition does not guarantee a life of anti-social behavior. Some of them overcome with medication or therapy.

On the flip side, a person can be born with perfectly normal brain chemistry and function, and then be subject to a dysfunctional upbringing, such as being abused as a child. This can cause them to "act out" in violent or angry, anti-social ways.

And, again, many folks who are raised in terrible circumstances turn out fine. So, again, there is not Silver Bullet, single answer to the Nature v Nurture Debate. The answer is "it can be either."

Hope this helps. thanks.
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?
I wouldn't say it that way. Isn't everybody bad in some sort of fashion? One more visible than others?

Certainly some augment their capacity more than others.

Sometimes, things happen that others don't know about. I can think of many cases where people were raped but couldn't tell anyone... just made them angry people. (And other such things)
 

Lorgar-Aurelian

Active Member
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?
Rival I would recommend the book "The Righteous Mind" It deals a lot with this sort of thing and part of it claims that it's not just nature or nurture , it's both. We aren't just born back and we aren't just made bad both our genetics and environment go into what we become.
 
Case in point...

My dad. He had a good upbringing; his parents disciplined him, he had food, clothes, holidays and yet...

...he has a temper like a badly behaved child. The patience of a hungry cat. The ego of a tyrant. He actively claims he knows everything, has contempt for all forms of authority and is abominably lazy. We are thinking of moving out and one reason being just to be away from him.

He had everything and was disciplined thoroughly.

Why are some people bad?

Larger question: are some people intrinsically good or bad or are these assessments simply subjective interpretations by other people?
 

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Larger question: are some people intrinsically good or bad or are these assessments simply subjective interpretations by other people?
The first part of your question is my own. The second part, for me it is objective. Being lazy and throwing temper tantrums is bad.
 
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