Sorry to bump such an old topic, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently.
I consider myself Wiccan. It was the first path I found that really felt "right" to me. However, I've been wondering lately if I should indeed be calling myself "wiccan" or "pagan". I have listed the reasons for my uncertainty below.
Magic. From what I have read/ heard (and all my knowledge comes from on-line and off line texts and podcasts. I know no one else in my town who is pagan/ wiccan to ask for advice) my idea of magic is somewhat different to how it is viewed in Wicca. I don't feel that I can change (for lack of a better term) how the universe works so that I can get a job or whatever. The universe is too big for that. Sure, I can ask the God and Goddess to for a bit of help, but they aren't going to go moving stars so I can get a book published. No, for me the magic we as "ordinary" people perform is more "real." For example, creating an artwork from a blank sheet of paper, or music from strings and bow. Birth. Inspiring people. That is what I feel magic is.
Communicating with the Gods. I prefer to do this by meditation and path working as opposed to rituals. I preform rituals on sabats and special days to honour the Gods, but I do feel that all of the "stuff" that comes with ritual gets in the road a little bit. An analogy would be ritual is a big party with music and dancing and hoo haring. Meditation is a quite sit down over a cup of tea having a nice chat and a laugh. I must admit I prefer that later (and that might show how boring a person I am
)
Resurrection. I do not believe that after death we are resurrected once again on this earth. This is probably where I deviate most from wiccan thought. My thoughts on resurrection are a little involved so I won't go into detail but basically I believe our spirit leaves the body and continues existing on its own in various ways.
I recently finished reading Cunningham's
Living Wicca and there where a few things in there I didn't agree with. Nothing huge, but enough to give me pause. One thing was Cunningham talks about spending time with the Gods each day, even if only for five minutes. He said to do things like smell flowers, touch grass etc. The bit that got me was he said that reading about Wicca (eg; studying) could not be considered giving your time to the Gods. I really, really have to disagree with that, especially if Wicca truly is a path of knowledge and self discovery. How is one supposed to gain knowledge if one does not study. Using Cunningham's reasoning suggests my seven years of art school have done nothing for my artistic abilities. I can tell you that is far from the case.
There where one or two other things, but I can't recall them right now.
I believe in the Goddess and the God but rather than seeing tham as Greek, Celtic or any of the other ancient gods I view them as both more modern characters - mainly Doctor Strange and Madame Xanadu from Marvel and DC comics respectively - or as how I see them in my minds eye. I love nature and follow the rede and agree with the Wiccan principals. As I said at the start, Wicca was the religion that I really felt comfortable with. Apart from the few nagging things I've mentioned.
So I'm wondering if I should call myself wiccan or pagan. I know that, in the scheme of things, labels such as those don't matter. However, it is part of who I am and I'd like to be able to proudly say "I am INSETS TITLE HERE" without umming and arring over it. I also know that Wicca is a religion in which you can practice in the way that works for you, you don't need to adhere to any certain system (unless a coven dictates, but I'm solitary so I can please myself
)
Still, I wonder if it in not better to simply be pagan, at least until I know for sure if I fit into wicca or not?