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A choice of not having kids.

Discussion in 'Family and Personal Living' started by Seeker of White Light, Oct 3, 2022.

  1. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    At my age (45) i have come to the realization that i do not wish to have kids, my girlfriend who is a lot younger than me actually agree, that having kids is not a topic for us. So the topic of living in a platonic relationship come up the other day. Strange but even on that we agreed.
    She love kids, but do not seek to have her own (nor adopting).

    Our relationship are build upon mutual love to each others as human beings, it is not love build of sexual desire or a need for sex weekly or even monthly. We are not going to live together since we both are busy doing our own things (she is a busy woman)

    But when one of us calling the other person, we feel it before we hear the call.
    When we visiting each other, there is no need for words all the time, just sitting near each other or holding around each others give the comfort we seek in each other.
    She only need to look at me, and i know what she want or need, so i bring her those things.

    Maybe we are each others soulmates.

    I am open to answer questions if you have.
     
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  2. Sirona

    Sirona Hindu Wannabe

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    Do you have a chance to be an uncle for a kid ?
     
  3. ImmortalFlame

    ImmortalFlame Woke gremlin

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    It's becoming more common, and I don't see any issue with a couple deciding to remain together for the rest of their lives and never having children.

    Personally, I think we have too many people having children just because they think "it's the thing couples are supposed to do" rather than because they actually really want to raise a child. I respect people who have determined that raising child is simply something they are not interested in and decide not to.

    You'll still get a lot of people judging you and making comments about it, but I say ignore them. People being pressured into having children when they either don't want them or aren't ready for them is a huge source of a lot of the world's problems.
     
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  4. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    I could if my brother become a dad one day, but i have no contact with him, and can not have any contact with him.
     
  5. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    People are free to have their opinion about how my Girlfriend and I chose to live our lives :)
     
  6. mangalavara

    mangalavara Your Account
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    It is good that she loves kids. I assume you do, too. As for actually being parents, it's not for everybody, and everybody should understand that.

    Beautiful and amazing!
     
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  7. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    I hope this is not going to sound cold, but no i do not love kids, i do not mind other peoples kids, but i have no interest in having my own kids.
     
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  8. mangalavara

    mangalavara Your Account
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    What I mean by 'love kids' is enjoying the mere presence and ways of kids. I don't mean being a father. I myself am not a father, but I love kids, which is one reason that I am a teacher.
     
  9. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    I don't know because i am seldom in enviroment were there are kids.
     
  10. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    The only thing I see as important is that the two of you align around the desire to have kids or not, and sexually.

    That is important. But whether you actually have kids or not is totally your choice. My kids are a great joy to me, as well as a LOT of work. And there are plenty of parents around who should never have had kids.

    More power to you, mate.
     
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  11. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Makes sense. I coach junior basketball, and suspect I'd want to do that even without kids of my own (indeed, I did it before I had kids).
     
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  12. ImmortalFlame

    ImmortalFlame Woke gremlin

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    Oh, they will. And they often won't be kind. I'm glad you're above that, though. That's really the only way to live happily.
     
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  13. rocala

    rocala Active Member

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    Hi Seeker of White Light, you have raised a very interesting subject.
    My ex could not have children. At the time it did not seem very important, neither of us were very parental.

    Afterward, my relationships were all with women who either had children or did not want them. Again it did not seem important at the time.

    Now I am an old man, and I bitterly regret having missed the chance. My ex once had an early miscarriage. These last few years I have spent so much time wondering who that little person was. What he/she might have become.

    I hope your decision remains good for you both.
     
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  14. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    I know that my personal view on this will not change, but of course i can not speak for my girlfriend since she is younger than me, and would still have time to become a mom if she wish.
     
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  15. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    One of the biggest regrets of my life is going along with my (then) wife's desire to have a child.

    I do not like children. Oh, I am glad people do and glad that people want to reproduce. But I prefer to not be around kids before they can have a coherent conversation.

    So you do you. If you don't want children, don't have them. If you don't want sex, don't do it.

    It ain't nobody else's business.
     
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  16. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Abnormal before it was fashionable
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    We already have more people on this planet
    than make sense. Many wonderful critters
    are going extinct. Natural landscapes are
    being paved over or denuded for framing.
    Plywood mansions sprout everywhere.
    Yuck.
    Not having kids is a responsible decision.
    (I chose it too. My 2 are adopted.)
    Who'd want my genes passed on anyway.
     
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