:(

[whereismynotecard]

Yes, it does but it is the reality we live in. People often want to build a future with another way beyond friendship.......its called love.:yes:

I think you can love people who are your friends.

 

[T-Dawg]

Ok, my head hurts a little less now. Hmm, I'm surprised people actually had to say that sex was not a necessary part of being a girlfriend or in a romantic relationship. Is it not common knowledge that sex is not necessary for love?

I think you can love people who are your friends.

Depends on what kind of love. You're probably either thinking of phileos or agape (brotherly love or unconditional love). We were talking about eros (romantic love).

 

[whereismynotecard]

Ok, my head hurts a little less now. Hmm, I'm surprised people actually had to say that sex was not a necessary part of being a girlfriend or in a romantic relationship. Is it not common knowledge that sex is not necessary for love?

Depends on what kind of love. You're probably either thinking of phileos or agape (brotherly love or unconditional love). We were talking about eros (romantic love).

To me, there is only one kind of love. If I really care about someone and lreally ike being around them, then I love them. Of course, "love" is just a word.

 

[JamieA1A]

I think you can love people who are your friends.

Yes, but romantic love is much different than friendship love. He hurt you when he broke off the friendship, but you may have hurt him even more when you refused his romantic love. Over time he may be able to be just friends with you again. But he may have to take time to get over it.

Oh no! I'm starting to sound like Dear Abby!

 

[T-Dawg]

To me, there is only one kind of love.

There's actually a gazillion meanings for "love" that english tries to cram into one word, when really there should be a gazillion words =P.

you may have hurt him even more when you refused his romantic love.

Yup... believe me, romantic rejections really hurt... just look at what they did to me over time...

I honestly don't understand why a girl would refuse love unless she really hated the boy. Could someone explain to me what the point of the whole "not wanting to date" is? (No, this is not a rhetorical question... it seems like every time I ask a question about someone's feelings, they attack me for trying to start a debate... XD)

Oh no! I'm starting to sound like Dear Abby!

What's wrong with that?

 

[whereismynotecard]

I don't want to date, because around here when people are dating, they expect some sex in return. I do not want any sex ever. And it's not middle school or high school dating where you just go to a movie together and hold hands. We are adults now. He's almost 21, and I'm almost 20. I think he would expect sex if I dated him. I hang out with him all the time, or I used to before he disappeared. We would go to movies or sit around and talk, and we would give each other hugs, so why would we need to give it a title? Why can't we just be friends? If we were "dating" I wouldn't do anything any different, but I'm afraid he might want to do things different.

 

[T-Dawg]

I don't want to date, because around here when people are dating, they expect some sex in return.

Wow, you must live in a really terrible place... I'm sorry to hear that... I never knew people outside the Bible Belt could be so horrid as to EXPECT sex from a DATING relationship... D=.

I think he would expect sex if I dated him.

... you THINK? ASK HIM! =O

We would go to movies or sit around and talk, and we would give each other hugs,

Wow. I wish I had friends like that... especially girls that would be willing to do that D=. My female "friends" in the past would never do anything with me, and we very rarely got to talk, since she was always busy with her other friends (remember that most girls will have alternate personalities depending on how many friends they have near them... usually they get more nasty as more friends stand by them), and no woman would ever have even thought of giving me a hug... D=

so why would we need to give it a title?

It's a self esteem boost for a guy to have a "girlfriend." The title also signifies the possibility of future marriage partners, which is another self esteem boost to the guy, as the fact that someone might be willing to marry them tells them that their genetics are good enough to pass on and that they are worthy of love and commitment.

Why can't we just be friends?

See above. And also, the words "just be friends" imply that you hate the guy and want nothing to do with him (because usually when a woman is repulsed by a guy and doesn't want to get close to him, she says something along the lines of "why can't we just be friends?").

EDIT: Sigh... here's an example of why I hate life... a newbie posted his ideas on Christianity in the Introductions section, and the first response was a guy blatantly telling him that he was on the path of ignorance and elitism (presumably simply because he was Christian). I rebuked that guy and told the newbie that his ideas were well thought out... this was his response...

TheAmazingloser!
You really are, arn't you, as your name suggests? There must be something seriously wrong with your own mind, to believe ************** (name witheld) comment was 'well thought out.' It is a comment the like of which satan the devil would make. When did he ever think out anything well? ******- (name witheld)[/quote]
EDIT2: Odd, why won't the quote tags work...
EDIT3: It occured to me that I may not have been clear here... just in case anyone was confused, the quote is from the newbie I complimented, not the guy I rebuked for being mean to the newbie.

 

[Panda]

He might just feel hurt at your rejection. Though don't feel bad it is better to let him know how you really feel than to lead him on. Though the "lets just be friends line" is fairly akin to ripping out someones heart.

 

[T-Dawg]

Though don't feel bad it is better to let him know how you really feel than to lead him on. Though the "lets just be friends line" is fairly akin to ripping out someones heart.

Very well said. DO NOT EVER LEAD A GUY ON. If you don't want to date a guy, TELL HIM, and don't only tell him once, you tell him every time he looks like he needs to be told (I don't know about other guys, but I personally seem to need to be rejected a few times to get used to the whole "just friends" thing. If the girl gives signs that she likes me, I usually start to think she changed her mind)

Also, uh, this is kinda off topic, but hey Panda, would a thread about my world dictatorship plans go under politics (since my manifesto would be a political document), or would it go in the Joke section since no one would take it seriously? I asked a mod in a PM a couple days ago but never got a reply XD.

 

[rojse]

And what a better state to be in at a time when everyone is out to get everyone, where everyone values their money more than people, and where everyone is killing everyone for every excuse? Oh, if only everyone were as paranoid as I was, the world would be a much safer and happier place. Remember, living in constant depression is better than getting betrayed by a "loved one."

Trust no one. Bad things will happen when you trust people. Remember, these are PEOPLE, and this is AMERICA, where PEOPLE are encouraged to do whatever they can to get to the top and stay there.

Well said, but don't expect God to heal the wounds you got from trusting others for you. He certainly never healed mine.

And if you trust people, you'll still have a horrible life. Life is supposed to be horrible, and trying to be happy usually just makes it worse. The second you feel like you got something right, someone will come and tear you down again. It's better to stay down than to be kicked down again.

To the contrary, I am known as one of the most trustworthy people around where I live. When you're paranoid of others, you're also careful to make sure you do not imitate the ones who are out to get you.

More often than not, friendship is just an excuse for people to abuse and manipulate eachother. Your friends will slowly corrode your moral standards and your individuality until you are just like them. For example, you don't want to date. But if you constantly hang around people who are always talking about how great it is to be in love and how great their boyfriends are to them, you might slowly change your mind, especially if they directly encourage you. Then someone will start dating you, and they'll betray you like any other boy would after he gets what he wants (usually sex). And your "friends" that encouraged you to start dating will be laughing and making fun of you the whole way.
That's what humanity is. Be an exception and choose your friends wisely (most girls will choose bad friends that will bring them down). Be paranoid, trust someone only if they trust you first (usually when someone's trusting you, they won't betray you, since they don't want you to betray them back). That is what I learned from my miserable dating career, and from the rest of life at that.

Life is a very very bad place. Trying to be happy will get you knocked down. The Evil is out to get us.

"Every day above ground is a good day."

 

[rojse]

You aren't obligated to stay here and talk about life. Why don't you go and sleep. Surely sleeping would ease your constant misery. I bet if you tried to be happier, you would be successful. I find usually the people who have more reason to be sad or angry that their life sucks are the ones who don't dwell on the bad parts of life. If your life is really terrible, I think you'd try your hardest to cloud it out of your mind and at least attempt to be happy.

Here are some possible good parts of your life:

You have the internet, while many people don't. You seem to have fingers, which you could use to draw or write or play video games if you like those sorts of things. You can write complete sentences, so I can assume you are not severely mentally disabled. You have the world outside. You could take a walk or lay outside and read a book if you like those things...

Or maybe you don't like to do anything. Most people like to do at least something, but if you seriously have zero interests or hobbies, then I suppose life might truthfully suck.

I have to agree with WhereIsMyNoteCard. You live in the western world, have access to the internet. You're obviously in reasonable and mental physical condition, as you are able to read posts on here and write your own. I would also hazard a guess that you have access to clean drinking water, food, clothing, and shelter, had the opportunity to attend school, and so forth.

In contrast to this, think about the conditions much of the rest of the world has to live in. Some have to endure terrorists attacks, or civil wars (which is probably the most ineptly-named noun ever) and their only fault is to have to live in a particular area. Some don't have access to food or water, or are homeless. Some people are forced to flee their homes and live in refugee camps, or have various disabilities. Sure, you might have your own problems, but compared to all of that, your life can't be that bad.

 

[T-Dawg]

In contrast to this, think about the conditions much of the rest of the world has to live in. Some have to endure terrorists attacks, or civil wars (which is probably the most ineptly-named noun ever) and their only fault is to have to live in a particular area. Some don't have access to food or water, or are homeless. Some people are forced to flee their homes and live in refugee camps, or have various disabilities.

I hear stuff like this a lot, it just makes me more sad. Is it supposed to make me happy to know that people in other areas are even more miserable than I am? How sadistic D=.

 

[rojse]

I hear stuff like this a lot, it just makes me more sad. Is it supposed to make me happy to know that people in other areas are even more miserable than I am? How sadistic D=.

I am not advocating taking pleasure in other's suffering. On the contrary, I am saying in comparison to that, your situation is not as dire.

 

[JamieA1A]

I have to agree with WhereIsMyNoteCard. You live in the western world, have access to the internet. You're obviously in reasonable and mental physical condition, as you are able to read posts on here and write your own. I would also hazard a guess that you have access to clean drinking water, food, clothing, and shelter, had the opportunity to attend school, and so forth.

In contrast to this, think about the conditions much of the rest of the world has to live in. Some have to endure terrorists attacks, or civil wars (which is probably the most ineptly-named noun ever) and their only fault is to have to live in a particular area. Some don't have access to food or water, or are homeless. Some people are forced to flee their homes and live in refugee camps, or have various disabilities. Sure, you might have your own problems, but compared to all of that, your life can't be that bad.

I am not advocating taking pleasure in other's suffering. On the contrary, I am saying in comparison to that, your situation is not as dire.

quote]

I'm sure your intentions are to help, but I have found that to compair the suffering of others to those who are depressed seldom helps either. Truth be told, many of those you mentioned may not be as depressed as our friend appears to be.

 

[T-Dawg]

Indeed, Katzpur said it nice in another thread:

Unless you have suffered from depression, you couldn't possibly know that this one suggestion is no good whatsoever. To a depressed person, what you have is immaterial. The depression does not stem from wanting something you don't have, and being grateful for what you do have does nothing to alleviate your pain. Depression exists independently of legitimate reasons. People who have not experienced it need to understand this.

But anyways, I hate staying up late and it's nearly 8:40 where I live, seeya tommorow.
Bleh, how did the topic go from whereismynotecard's friend to my depression issues? Must have overdone the "life sucks" speech again...