:(

[whereismynotecard]

Is it just me, or is it difficult to keep friends if you don't give them sex? I got in a huge argument with a "friend" of mine one day because I wouldn't agree to be his "girlfriend;" I wanted to just be friends and hang out together and have fun. And I told him that it wasn't even anything personal; I just don't like dating, but I guess that wasn't good enough for him. And then there is another guy who likes me and always wanted me to date him in high school, but I told him I'm just not comfortable with that sort of thing, so we've been friends since we were 14 years old or so, but now he never answers his phone and never talks to me on facebook... I think he is avoiding me, and I feel like it might be because I won't date him. Why doesn't anyone just want to be friends? He can find someone else to date... I just don't understand.

 

[Sunstone]

It is not difficult to keep friends when you don't give them sex. Unless sex is all they want from you in the first place.

 

[whereismynotecard]

Maybe that's what it was then...

 

[TheKnight]

I think maybe you should find friends of deeper quality?

Do not worry, such things happen to the best of us.

 

[Enlighten]

Is it just me, or is it difficult to keep friends if you don't give them sex? I got in a huge argument with a "friend" of mine one day because I wouldn't agree to be his "girlfriend;" I wanted to just be friends and hang out together and have fun. And I told him that it wasn't even anything personal; I just don't like dating, but I guess that wasn't good enough for him. And then there is another guy who likes me and always wanted me to date him in high school, but I told him I'm just not comfortable with that sort of thing, so we've been friends since we were 14 years old or so, but now he never answers his phone and never talks to me on facebook... I think he is avoiding me, and I feel like it might be because I won't date him. Why doesn't anyone just want to be friends? He can find someone else to date... I just don't understand.

I swear I must know you in RL! My friend is going through the exact same situation.

You are a great looking lass so these guys are attracted to you, take it as a compliment, but also just be who you are... if you don't want to date these guys then don't it's your choice.

Some guys take rejection bad, and it's their way of dealing with it to just ignore. Don't take it personally. I was in the situation a few years ago where a guy who I treasured as a friend (and I did not see the signs) came on to me, and when I rejected him I have never heard from him since. Hard to deal with after so many years but perhaps he will come around in time.

 

[whereismynotecard]

I think maybe you should find friends of deeper quality?

Do not worry, such things happen to the best of us.

It's not easy for me to make friends with people for some reason. I guess I'll just be bored until my sister comes back.

 

[TheKnight]

It's not easy for me to make friends with people for some reason. I guess I'll just be bored until my sister comes back.

What are your interests?

 

[whereismynotecard]

What are your interests?

I like watching movies and driving around in my car or riding in someone else's car, and I also like reading, drawing/art, and writing, but you cannot do those things with friends. Maybe art, but not reading and writing. I like walking around on nature trails and stuff too, as long as I have bug spray. And video games are fun.

 

[TheKnight]

I like watching movies and driving around in my car or riding in someone else's car, and I also like reading, drawing/art, and writing, but you cannot do those things with friends. Maybe art, but not reading and writing. I like walking around on nature trails and stuff too, as long as I have bug spray. And video games are fun.

Try to get involved with art groups, or hiking groups and stuff. It can help you make friends who are of similar interests as you.

 

[whereismynotecard]

Try to get involved with art groups, or hiking groups and stuff. It can help you make friends who are of similar interests as you.

Where do I find these groups??

 

[TheKnight]

Where do I find these groups??

Try looking em up online? It's not easy, but it can help. Getting involved in group activities or in volunteer activities is a great way to make good lasting friends (I recommend it because it's how I made my friends where before I had none).

 

[whereismynotecard]

Try looking em up online? It's not easy, but it can help. Getting involved in group activities or in volunteer activities is a great way to make good lasting friends (I recommend it because it's how I made my friends where before I had none).

My sister and I did some volunteer stuff during the school semester, but she and I were together and didn't really meet too many new people. I think a big part of my problem is that I am always with my sister, and have no need for other friends, because she is great. But then when she leaves for Australia, I have no one to hang out with, because I didn't bother making other friends since I had her.

 

[TheKnight]

My sister and I did some volunteer stuff during the school semester, but she and I were together and didn't really meet too many new people. I think a big part of my problem is that I am always with my sister, and have no need for other friends, because she is great. But then when she leaves for Australia, I have no one to hang out with, because I didn't bother making other friends since I had her.

Hmm, when she comes back you should ask her to help you make friends. :yes:

 

[whereismynotecard]

She tried to have one of her friends hang out with me, but I sort of don't like him. All he wants to do is take me to drunken college parties where I don't know anyone. I don't know, but I don't think it's a good idea to get drunk around a bunch of college kids I don't even know. That's how you end up getting raped or arrested for under-aged drinking.

 

[whereismynotecard]

I'll call the guy who never answers his phone tomorrow or the next day... Maybe he'll answer it. Maybe he just knew I would be PMSing and didn't want to risk being around me. I don't know how he could have known though... O_O We'll just see what happens... I'll always have Baggins. He doesn't mind if I won't date him.

 

[Katzpur]

Is it just me, or is it difficult to keep friends if you don't give them sex? I got in a huge argument with a "friend" of mine one day because I wouldn't agree to be his "girlfriend;" I wanted to just be friends and hang out together and have fun. And I told him that it wasn't even anything personal; I just don't like dating, but I guess that wasn't good enough for him. And then there is another guy who likes me and always wanted me to date him in high school, but I told him I'm just not comfortable with that sort of thing, so we've been friends since we were 14 years old or so, but now he never answers his phone and never talks to me on facebook... I think he is avoiding me, and I feel like it might be because I won't date him. Why doesn't anyone just want to be friends? He can find someone else to date... I just don't understand.

Well you're so darned cute, of course they want you to be their girlfriend. Look in the mirror, why don't you!

 

[whereismynotecard]

Well you're so darned cute, of course they want you to be their girlfriend. Look in the mirror, why don't you!

Why wouldn't they just want to be friends with me instead? I've had people act like they don't even like me anymore when I won't date them. I don't mind that some people like me that way, but I wish they could settle for being friends instead without being grouchy and completely ignoring me if I won't date them...

 

[T-Dawg]

As a male myself, I might be able to give you some insight... however, I'm not sure how old you are (you're 19 right?), so my advice may not be applicable...

Chances are, something you did or said to the boy implied that you liked him. Happens to me all the time, for example, one time there was this Muslim girl I really liked (it turned out that she was an evil false-goddess bent on killing me, but that's another story), that rejected me to prom because she said she didn't date. The next week, I asked her why she didn't date, and she said that she didn't want to date until college (I found out later that she was lying. Her real reason was that she wasn't allowed to date anyone who wasn't a Muslim from Pakistan). Well gee, she was a senior, and I was going to college next year also, so what do you think that told me? Remember, a boy who's head over heels for a girl will take ANYTHING that even HINTS that you like him (or even that hints that you don't hate him, depending on how bad the crush is) as a sign that you definitely like him and are willing to go out with him. For example, if he says "you look pretty today," and you say "aww, thank you," in a sweet, gentle voice (like most girls do when being complimented), he will take it as a sign that he has a shot with you.

If this boy is anything like me, his whole blissful "in love" state will have been completely shattered when you suddenly told him that you have no interest in dating him, and he'll have started going paranoid about how you planned out his feelings from the very beginning so you could sadisticly watch him suffer in the end (I've thought this about girls, actually. In fact, I'm pretty sure the ones I've went through really did plan it all out.). If this guy's the living and completely accurate clone of me, he may have even begun hearing voices in his head telling him that you want to kill him (in a boy's mind, or at least mind, there is a strong subconcious connection between rejection and death).

That give you any information you need to know?

EDIT: Also, whatever you do, please, please, PLEASE DO NOT tell the boy that you never want to talk to him again and to just forget about you. That scars the boy for life (trust me, it's happened to me before), assuming that he doesn't commit suicide, which weaker-willed boys might in the event that the girl of their dreams just shoved them away like that.

 

[Sunstone]

Distrusting everyone is a sure and certain route to paranoid unhappiness. Better to learn who to trust, and when and how much to trust them.

 

[whereismynotecard]

As a male myself, I might be able to give you some insight... however, I'm not sure how old you are (you're 19 right?), so my advice may not be applicable...

Chances are, something you did or said to the boy implied that you liked him. Happens to me all the time, for example, one time there was this Muslim girl I really liked (it turned out that she was an evil false-goddess bent on killing me, but that's another story), that rejected me to prom because she said she didn't date. The next week, I asked her why she didn't date, and she said that she didn't want to date until college (I found out later that she was lying. Her real reason was that she wasn't allowed to date anyone who wasn't a Muslim from Pakistan). Well gee, she was a senior, and I was going to college next year also, so what do you think that told me? Remember, a boy who's head over heels for a girl will take ANYTHING that even HINTS that you like him (or even that hints that you don't hate him, depending on how bad the crush is) as a sign that you definitely like him and are willing to go out with him. For example, if he says "you look pretty today," and you say "aww, thank you," in a sweet, gentle voice (like most girls do when being complimented), he will take it as a sign that he has a shot with you.

If this boy is anything like me, his whole blissful "in love" state will have been completely shattered when you suddenly told him that you have no interest in dating him, and he'll have started going paranoid about how you planned out his feelings from the very beginning so you could sadisticly watch him suffer in the end (I've thought this about girls, actually. In fact, I'm pretty sure the ones I've went through really did plan it all out.). If this guy's the living and completely accurate clone of me, he may have even begun hearing voices in his head telling him that you want to kill him (in a boy's mind, or at least mind, there is a strong subconcious connection between rejection and death).

That give you any information you need to know?

EDIT: Also, whatever you do, please, please, PLEASE DO NOT tell the boy that you never want to talk to him again and to just forget about you. That scars the boy for life (trust me, it's happened to me before), assuming that he doesn't commit suicide, which weaker-willed boys might in the event that the girl of their dreams just shoved them away like that.

It wasn't anything recent, really. I told him a few years ago that I don't date people. And he knows it isn't just him; I don't date ANYONE. I went to a movie with him and hung out at the park with him recently and talked with him; I didn't say anything any different than normal. He's known I don't want to date him for a long time. I'm going to hope he just lost his phone or something. It's probably not as big of a deal as I think it is...

Just be careful WMNC, the world does not have your best interest at heart, or in mind, only God (Jesus) does.

I'll pray for you.

Trust no one, only God/Jesus.

I don't want to see you get hurt.

You have to trust people sometimes, or you'll have a horrible life. If you don't trust anyone, no one will trust you, and you'll just be really lonely forever. Sometimes it isn't worth it to trust someone, and sometimes it is. It's just a risk you have to take. How could you develop a friendship or relationship with anyone if you refuse to trust them just because they aren't god or jesus?