Do your best to enjoy this life

The Reverend Bob said:

It is far better to learn things than to be happy and rest on my laurels. Life is not made for mere enjoyment, it is about learning and learning is a very painful process. What would you rather have a happy life (there are drugs for that) or an interesting life?

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The ^ above ^ sounds more like the life example Jesus set for his followers. No dull moments for them.
With having 'hope' one can have inner happiness/peace and lead an interesting life.

JJ50 said:

I think religion has caused too many problems over the centuries, Christianity and Islam in particular, the world would have been better off without them.

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I find it isn't the 1st-century teachings of Christ that is the problem, but Christendom is (so-called Christians )
Jesus taught to lay down the sword ( Matthew 26:52; Revelation 13:10 ) so it is Christendom that is war like.
Thus, it is Christendom ( fake weed/tares Christians ) that the world will be better off without Christendom.
Corrupted Christendom is why spiritual house cleaning will start with the House of God.
A new broom sweeps clean, so, soon Christendom will be the first to be swept out of existence - 1 Peter 4:17

Jos said:

First of all, a happy life and an interesting life aren't mutually exclusive possibilities... one can have a happy life that is still interesting.

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Didn't say they were. But if I had to pick I would choose having a interesting life over a happy one.

Jos said:

Second of all, why spend a lot of my life in pain when it's so short and the knowledge I gain won't benefit me after I die anyway since there doesn't seem to be good evidence for an afterlife? Why not enjoy the only life I know I have rather than spending in pain learning things that won't even benefit me in the long run?

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Because gaining experience and learning is painful and when you gain experience in life and you learn thing from it you gain wisdom and that wisdom is not just for you. No, you have to pass it on to others so that they may learn from you. Your experience and learning can benefit others even if you had to endure pain and suffering for it. Who cares about an afterlife.

Jos said:

Thirdly, even people who seek a life filled with pain or suffering, learning do it for a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment and do you know what's a synonym for satisfaction? It's happiness and do you what fulfillment leads to? It leads to happiness. So even those people that claim to not want a happy life but a meaningful one that's filled with suffering ultimately do it in order to be happy.

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I didn't say "go out and seek pain and suffering", I just know it is unavoidable and inevitable for everyone. We all feel pain and we all suffer but that doesn't make pain and suffering automatically ennobling. Some people go through hell and more and never learn a thing. The objective is to take what you experience and learn from it even if that lesson is painful. Passion is suffering.

The Reverend Bob said:

Didn't say they were. But if I had to pick I would choose having a interesting life over a happy one.

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I still don't get why you separate a happy life from an interesting life. A happy life can be also be interesting... why do you keep separating them? Many people live happy and interesting lives, so I don't understand why you separate the two as though one can't have both.

The Reverend Bob said:

Because gaining experience and learning is painful and when you gain experience in life and you learn thing from it you gain wisdom and that wisdom is not just for you. No, you have to pass it on to others so that they may learn from you. Your experience and learning can benefit others even if you had to endure pain and suffering for it. Who cares about an afterlife.

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I get that but in the context of your original post, I was just saying that I don't think there's anything wrong with a person wanting to make their life as comfortable as possible and eliminating as much suffering from it as possible given the shortness of life and also, I mentioned the afterlife because in the context of the thread's OP many people focus on what happens after death that they don't focus on the life they have right now and I think it's pointless for people to suffer now given that they won't remember the lessons learned from this life in the afterlife, at least according to some religions... it wasn't directed at you.

The Reverend Bob said:

I didn't say "go out and seek pain and suffering", I just know it is unavoidable and inevitable for everyone. We all feel pain and we all suffer but that doesn't make pain and suffering automatically ennobling. Some people go through hell and more and never learn a thing. The objective is to take what you experience and learn from it even if that lesson is painful. Passion is suffering.

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I never said nor meant to imply that you said "go out and seek pain and suffering"... I was just making a general comment that even people who live for learning or want an interesting life which includes pain or suffering do it for a sense of satisfaction and happiness even though they claim happiness isn't the ultimate goal.

AT-AT said:

Life is unfortunate either way.

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What do you mean by 'either way'?

bobhikes said:

So you are content in making other unhappy, yet for some reason wish to encourage others to live like you and make even more people unhappy.

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It is not so easy to make others happy, anyway.

AT-AT said:

Life is unfortunate either way.

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I kinda like it.

I don't know anybody who hasn't EVER found joy, somewhere, sometime....

bobhikes said:

If one has a family living in the moment tends to make your family unhappy. Lover's, Friends and Family all have expectations of you and if you don't want to ruin there happiness you need to restrain yours.

That is the truth about happiness for any individual to be completely happy they will make many others unhappy.

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That only happens if one's own happiness is utterly dependent upon ruining everybody else's.

Now me....I'm happiest when I'm among happy people. I find joy most easily when others are also joyful.
When others are miserable, that seems to be, er, contagious.

SalixIncendium said:

Life is what one makes it.

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life is like a box of chocolates: in the end, it'll rot your teeth and give you diabetes.

JJ50 said:

I think religion has caused too many problems over the centuries, Christianity and Islam in particular, the world would have been better off without them.

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Oh, here we go.

Cue "Imagine".....

YoursTrue said:

It is not so easy to make others happy, anyway.

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So, fine..just don't concentrate upon making others UNhappy.

It's so easy to just...spread a little happiness around. Not permanent, not life transformational events that make those you come into contact with want to give everything away and go scrub babies in Indian ghettos.

Just....little things.

You know, when you go to chemotherapy and see someone wearing a really pretty blouse...and say so. When your nurse has new scrubs with Mickey Mouse on them. Smile at her.

When you finally get to the head of a very long line and it's your turn to deal with the frazzled cashier, and you think that the blue streak in her hair is vibrant and cheerful; say so. When the guy who rotated your tires this morning showed you where to get a bottle of water while you waited, say thank you. Smile at your waiter/waitress.

You know, just...spread a little something around. Amazing how that helps; not just the person you are noticing, but you, yourself.

Doing that sort of thing doesn't mess YOU up any. Doesn't take anything away from your own curmudgeonly glory, or your status as a hermit. Doesn't make you 'just like everybody else.' In fact, it does the opposite of that. It just...punches a little happiness button.

After awhile, you want to push it harder and do more. It's fun.

Reserve being mean for anonymous internet forums.

One thing: don't make up stuff. Don't tell someone her blue hair streak looks great...if it doesn't. Find something else.

You never know; there's one fast food order taker who remembers me every time, and shows me her brand new manicure every time, too...she's getting really creative! She's a lot of fun, and she used to be terminally grumpy. She smiles when I drive up. I like her. I notice when she changes things about herself.

Of little stuff like that is happiness made, I believe. Not being rich or powerful or full of oneself. Of little joys.

......and anybody here who starts talking about Halmark cards and diabetes can just stuff it. It works.

JJ50 said:

I find it so sad that some people spend more time looking skywards anticipating some sort of afterlife, than trying to enjoy their present existence.

Of course one will face trials and tribulations, but with luck one will also have good times as well. I am fortunate that my husband and I have wonderful children and grandchildren. I think one should do one's best to help others less fortunate if one can, which can help to give one's life meaning. If you spend too much time soaking up religion instead of getting out there and doing something worthwhile it makes you less of a person, imo.

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Maybe that's how some people actually enjoy spending their lives.

JJ50 said:

I find it so sad that some people spend more time looking skywards anticipating some sort of afterlife, than trying to enjoy their present existence.

Of course one will face trials and tribulations, but with luck one will also have good times as well. I am fortunate that my husband and I have wonderful children and grandchildren. I think one should do one's best to help others less fortunate if one can, which can help to give one's life meaning. If you spend too much time soaking up religion instead of getting out there and doing something worthwhile it makes you less of a person, imo.

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Everyone pretends to speak for God as if they are in direct contact with the Almighty. We have no idea what God wants from us. God is perfect, whole, and complete needing NOTHING from us. How many millions end up in Heaven versus Hell makes no difference to the Almighty. God is already absolute perfection. It's not like God will ever die because we have too many sinners. The whole setup is meaningless gibberish.

What if what God wants is for us to experience happiness and greatness in our lives. Maybe God is bored by His own omnipotence. And human beings we are God's way of experiencing the thrill of having limitations by sharing in our experiences of joys and frustrations.

Of course, according to Loki, our natural way of being is to "kneel" to authority:


This is most peoples vision for how our Almighty is with us.

dianaiad said:

That only happens if one's own happiness is utterly dependent upon ruining everybody else's.

Now me....I'm happiest when I'm among happy people. I find joy most easily when others are also joyful.
When others are miserable, that seems to be, er, contagious.

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Not true, Lets say you want to marry into another religion, or perhaps you want to be with a same sex partner or maybe a different ethnicity. These have broken up families. Perhaps you want to play video games all day, love ones and family and some friends will still be unhappy. You don't go to college and instead pursue your dream of acting others around you may be unhappy because of it.

SalixIncendium said:

Life is what one makes it.

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And sometimes what it makes of you.

bobhikes said:

Not true, Lets say you want to marry into another religion, or perhaps you want to be with a same sex partner or maybe a different ethnicity. These have broken up families. Perhaps you want to play video games all day, love ones and family and some friends will still be unhappy. You don't go to college and instead pursue your dream of acting others around you may be unhappy because of it.

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You have this backwards.

it's not about you conforming to everybody else's expectations...if I want to 'marry into another religion,' or have a same sex partner (neither one of which I did or want to do, btw...) I am not responsible for making everybody else pleased with me.

I AM responsible for not deliberately going out of my way to make others UNhappy for the purpose of making other people unhappy.

If I fall in love and want to marry a Presbyterian, for instance, and I marry him because I think he and I will be happier together than we would be apart, that's one thing.

Man, he'd have to be one hot Presbyterian...and someone that good wouldn't want to marry me. Whew. I'm safe.

If I deliberately go out and marry someone out of my faith BECAUSE I want to rebel and 'show' the folks I 'come from' that I'm really independent and that they aren't the boss of me? Well, that's an entirely different matter, wouldn't you say? that is making everybody unhappy. What's the point?

If what brings you happiness is 'showing up' others, or proving to them that you 'think for yourself' (when in reality you are proving a group-think lock step rebellion that looks just like every other group-think lock step rebellion) then...shrug..you are going to be unhappy and you won't have anybody to blame but yourself...even as you blame everybody else.

We are all in charge of our own happiness, I think....

I am happy being with happy people. If I can help them be that way, everybody wins. I don't mean 'martyring myself,' or giving up every dream in order to put their opinions first, but rather...not going out of my way to destroy others, and not making THEM responsible for my own happiness.

I just don't get all the angst. You do your own happiness stuff. You do yours, I'll do mine, don't blame everybody else, and if we all did that, we'd have a lot less....whatever this complaining about how our happiness is sabotaged by everybody else, and our misery is everybody else's fault.

Look. I'm a widow. I have terminal cancer. I'm on chemotherapy that does some really...interesting...stuff to the body. I'm broke and I'm broken...and I'm quite happy, thank you.

I'm happy because every day brings some small joy, and gives me a chance to bring a little joy to someone else. Not 'save the world' joy, but 'darn, I look good today" joy, or "I spent all this money on my hair and a stranger thinks I look good" joy, or the delight I feel when I see my son get silly over his newborn daughter, or making it through a row or two of a lace shawl without my hands cramping, or reading something fun, or seeing a stupid kitten video, or finding out that I do TOO have something to wear to jury duty on Monday, or..???

So stop obsessing over what everybody else thinks, and how the world is going to hell and it's everybody else's fault, and just enjoy the things that are enjoyable.

And wait out the things that aren't.

dianaiad said:

So, fine..just don't concentrate upon making others UNhappy.

It's so easy to just...spread a little happiness around. Not permanent, not life transformational events that make those you come into contact with want to give everything away and go scrub babies in Indian ghettos.

Just....little things.

You know, when you go to chemotherapy and see someone wearing a really pretty blouse...and say so. When your nurse has new scrubs with Mickey Mouse on them. Smile at her.

When you finally get to the head of a very long line and it's your turn to deal with the frazzled cashier, and you think that the blue streak in her hair is vibrant and cheerful; say so. When the guy who rotated your tires this morning showed you where to get a bottle of water while you waited, say thank you. Smile at your waiter/waitress.

You know, just...spread a little something around. Amazing how that helps; not just the person you are noticing, but you, yourself.

Doing that sort of thing doesn't mess YOU up any. Doesn't take anything away from your own curmudgeonly glory, or your status as a hermit. Doesn't make you 'just like everybody else.' In fact, it does the opposite of that. It just...punches a little happiness button.

After awhile, you want to push it harder and do more. It's fun.

Reserve being mean for anonymous internet forums.

One thing: don't make up stuff. Don't tell someone her blue hair streak looks great...if it doesn't. Find something else.

You never know; there's one fast food order taker who remembers me every time, and shows me her brand new manicure every time, too...she's getting really creative! She's a lot of fun, and she used to be terminally grumpy. She smiles when I drive up. I like her. I notice when she changes things about herself.

Of little stuff like that is happiness made, I believe. Not being rich or powerful or full of oneself. Of little joys.

......and anybody here who starts talking about Halmark cards and diabetes can just stuff it. It works.

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OK, I agree with many of your thoughts. Yes, little things can mean a lot, that is true. About your last comment, though, regarding Hallmark cards and diabetes, what do you mean?
But I do agree that we can uplift one another with little things.

dianaiad said:

You have this backwards.

it's not about you conforming to everybody else's expectations...if I want to 'marry into another religion,' or have a same sex partner (neither one of which I did or want to do, btw...) I am not responsible for making everybody else pleased with me.

I AM responsible for not deliberately going out of my way to make others UNhappy for the purpose of making other people unhappy.

If I fall in love and want to marry a Presbyterian, for instance, and I marry him because I think he and I will be happier together than we would be apart, that's one thing.

Man, he'd have to be one hot Presbyterian...and someone that good wouldn't want to marry me. Whew. I'm safe.

If I deliberately go out and marry someone out of my faith BECAUSE I want to rebel and 'show' the folks I 'come from' that I'm really independent and that they aren't the boss of me? Well, that's an entirely different matter, wouldn't you say? that is making everybody unhappy. What's the point?

If what brings you happiness is 'showing up' others, or proving to them that you 'think for yourself' (when in reality you are proving a group-think lock step rebellion that looks just like every other group-think lock step rebellion) then...shrug..you are going to be unhappy and you won't have anybody to blame but yourself...even as you blame everybody else.

We are all in charge of our own happiness, I think....

I am happy being with happy people. If I can help them be that way, everybody wins. I don't mean 'martyring myself,' or giving up every dream in order to put their opinions first, but rather...not going out of my way to destroy others, and not making THEM responsible for my own happiness.

I just don't get all the angst. You do your own happiness stuff. You do yours, I'll do mine, don't blame everybody else, and if we all did that, we'd have a lot less....whatever this complaining about how our happiness is sabotaged by everybody else, and our misery is everybody else's fault.

Look. I'm a widow. I have terminal cancer. I'm on chemotherapy that does some really...interesting...stuff to the body. I'm broke and I'm broken...and I'm quite happy, thank you.

I'm happy because every day brings some small joy, and gives me a chance to bring a little joy to someone else. Not 'save the world' joy, but 'darn, I look good today" joy, or "I spent all this money on my hair and a stranger thinks I look good" joy, or the delight I feel when I see my son get silly over his newborn daughter, or making it through a row or two of a lace shawl without my hands cramping, or reading something fun, or seeing a stupid kitten video, or finding out that I do TOO have something to wear to jury duty on Monday, or..???

So stop obsessing over what everybody else thinks, and how the world is going to hell and it's everybody else's fault, and just enjoy the things that are enjoyable.

And wait out the things that aren't.

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I am sorry to hear of your terminal cancer. And yes, little joys mean a lot. But on the other hand, we simply should not overlook the world's problems. Not that I can solve them, but I put my faith and trust in God to solve the things I cannot, and I like to share that faith with others.

JJ50 said:

I find it so sad that some people spend more time looking skywards anticipating some sort of afterlife, than trying to enjoy their present existence.

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False dichotomy.

AT-AT said:

Just a fancy way of me saying:

View attachment 29761

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It certainly seems a lot more fun to go that route. *Grin*