Look at what being a genuine believer in God and sincerely praying to God in Jesus' name for years got me: thirteen and a half years of severe abuse and neglect while growing up in a Christian home, twelve years of bullying and harassment at school while growing up, and having to deal with PTSD and trauma for the majority of my adult life. I can personally attest to the fact that having faith in God and being a Christian were detrimental to my mental health and emotional well-being. I lost count of how many times I prayed to God in Jesus' name when I was a child and teenager, pleading to be saved from being abused by my adopted mother and adopted older brother. I also prayed to God in Jesus' name, and pleaded with him to save me from being bullied and harassed at school. My adopted mother threatened my life more than once, and a couple of teenagers I knew in high school also threatened my life. I literally feared for my life more than once while I was growing up. For me, praying to God was like praying to a brick wall and expecting the wall to answer me. My point is that, after realizing that my faith and hope in God were emotional crutches and detrimental to my mental health, I finally made the decision to let it all go in order to emotionally heal and better my life. I've healed emotionally and significantly improved my life without believing in or having faith in God. I also realized that I don't need God in my life to be a moral person or to be at peace and content with life. I'm happy without God.
It was the best decision that I've ever made for my mental health and emotional well-being. It was, without a doubt, the best decision that I've ever made for myself. It took some time for me to let go of my faith in God and heal, but forsaking my faith turned my life around for the better. I have peace and joy in my heart, and I feel content with my life. That's something that I never felt during the thirty years I was a Christian and during the years before when I prayed to God, asking him to protect me from being abused and bullied. I think my experience of letting go of my Christian beliefs is analogous to being imprisoned, except that my cell door was always open and I was unaware that I could leave whenever I wanted to. Christianity was a prison for me, and now I'm free from it. There is no amount of shaming or threats of God's wrath and hellfire that Christians can hurl at me that will ever convince me to be a Christian again. As I explained before, being a devout Christian was an absolute nightmare for me, and I am determined to never be a Christian again.
As an ex-Christian, I no longer fear being judged by God or being sent to hell. I've let go of these fear-based tactics of Christianity, and I no longer allow these beliefs to control my thoughts or my life. It was such a relief for me after I finally let go of these beliefs: the fear of God, the shame of disobeying God, the constant worry that I'd lose my salvation if I sinned against God and then died, and the persistent fear of going to hell even though I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior (
Matthew 7:21–23). Now, I believe that these beliefs can be very detrimental to people's mental and emotional well-being. It certainly was for me. The only regret I have regarding my decision to renounce my faith in God is that I should have done it years ago rather than continue to hold on to the false hope that God is a loving and merciful heavenly father who loves me and cares about me. I could have saved myself many years of anxiety and depression if I had been able to realize that my belief, faith, hope, and trust in God were the root causes of my anxiety and depression in the first place. I realize and understand that all the years of negative experiences I've had with Christianity are only anecdotal evidence, just as when Christians share their positive stories about having God in their lives. My point is that, after realizing that my faith, hope, and trust in God were an emotional crutch, I made the decision to let it all go in order to emotionally heal and better my life. To paraphrase Penn Jillette, a person does not need God in their life to be moral and a good person. I believe his statement is validated by my personal experience of significantly improving my life without having a belief in or faith in God. You can read his quote
here. In my opinion, he is spot on. I'm not sure how I can say it more emphatically: I don't need or want God in my life.