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Dear Revoltingest

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,

I used to spend a lot of time on the question, "Why?" I don't do it as much as I used to, but I still do it occasionally.

Why do you think I still do that?

Just Wondering
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
I used to spend a lot of time on the question, "Why?" I don't do it as much as I used to, but I still do it occasionally.
Why do you think I still do that?
Just Wondering
Dear Just Wondering,
Thank you for your philosophically fundamental question. You are caring less & less about the "why" of life because of your increased enlightenment & intellectual maturity.
Without any objective answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe & everything, you wisely embrace an existentialist mindset. But I warn you, we must be
tolerant towards those lesser folk who fervently lust for a truth they cannot attain.
 
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savagewind

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Dear reader,
Thank you for your most interesting question. Writing is a 2-way street. It is nothing without the reader with whom you communicate.
So the question becomes, why are your words not clear to your intended audience?

We all experience varied reactions to our posts....some understand & enjoy, some understand & object, yet others fail to understand or even connect.
A one-size-fits-all approach cannot succeed, so first, you must decide whom you're addressing. If speaking to like minded people, you may presume
areas of common understanding, & address a reduced set of issues. But if speaking to the loyal opposition, one ought to first establish areas of
agreement, from which you may efficiently explore areas of disagreement. Trickier still is to converse with less sophisticated poster, who has
trouble catching nuance, dry humor, arcane terms, literary references, sarcasm, complex grammar & difficult concepts. Then, one must dwell
more on basics, & adopt a simpler vocabulary of words & imagery.

Of course, the above tips barely scratch the surface of the complexities & conundrums of human communication. Having just completed a survey
of your posting history, I recommend that you practice identifying your target audience, & tailoring your posts to them. Consider thoroughly
(& without emotional reaction) the feedback you receive, & adjust your style. Another related thing to consider is whether a particular audience
is worthy of your time & effort. At times, you will meet fellow posters whom it is best to avoid, either when they're in a bad mood, or even entirely.

You might soon find that others consider you to be silver tongued & brilliantly insightful. Naturally, you will be hated for this, but such is the lot of the gifted writer.
Please, update me on your progress, for I care, & live to serve.

I had not thought of who it is I am trying to communicate my thoughts to but after your helpful letter I have classified them and I feel better. Thanks for the help!
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I had not thought of who it is I am trying to communicate my thoughts to but after your helpful letter I have classified them and I feel better. Thanks for the help!
Dear poster,
Thank you for showing your appreciation, for I live to serve.
 
Dear Revoltingest,

I have a serious gambling addiction. I hide wads of cash around the house so I can bet on which celebrity couples will get divorced next. But sometimes, my wife finds those wads of cash, and uses them to pay bills or placate my many loan sharks instead.

Should I divorce her?
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
I have a serious gambling addiction. I hide wads of cash around the house so I can bet on which celebrity couples will get divorced next. But sometimes, my wife finds those wads of cash, and uses them to pay bills or placate my many loan sharks instead.
Should I divorce her?
Dear poster,
Thank you for sharing your personal pecuniary peccadilloes with us all. The question is not whether you should divorce her,
but rather how quickly she should divorce you. I presume that you don't appreciate her superior judgement in matters of money,
so it is best that you acquiesce to her decision to ditch you. Give her the house, the dog, the kids (if any) & a major portion
of your income (if any). She will be better off, & you will be no worse off. Moreover, to be brought low just might be the
wake up call you need for motivation to turn your parasitic life around. Because I care, please update me on how she fares.
 
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Dear Revoltingest,

I recently received some terrible advice from someone I thought was my friend, and I don't know how to respond to him.

My question is this: do you think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will split up in the next six months?
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
I recently received some terrible advice from someone I thought was my friend, and I don't know how to respond to him.
My question is this: do you think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will split up in the next six months?
Dear poster,
Thank you for your celebrity themed question.
No. They will remain together.

Little known celebrity facts:
Some entertainers are successful due to super powers.
The Osmonds have giant teeth, & Ms Jolie has giant lips.
 

Me Myself

Back to my username
Dear revoltingest. I should be going to sleep, but I haven´t yet

I am certain that this problem is the most biggest of problems in the whole wide world, and am of lack of willpower to do it. I could only wish I had less severe problems, but this is my dramatic situation.

What can I do? Oh wise one!
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear revoltingest. I should be going to sleep, but I haven´t yet
I am certain that this problem is the most biggest of problems in the whole wide world, and am of lack of willpower to do it. I could only wish I had less severe problems, but this is my dramatic situation.
What can I do? Oh wise one!
Dear Sleepless,
Thank you for your inquiry. Even I at times suffer from a racing mind which banishes sleep. I recommend a distraction which isn't too engaging.
It should be just enuf to take your mind off of pressing problems, but not so much that you become very interested, eg, TV, radio, book, magazine.
Some hot cocoa with a little whiskey in it wouldn't hurt either. But worry not about your problems disappearing...they'll still be there in the morning.
 
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Mister_T

Forum Relic
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,

My undies are feeling a bit tight, can you offer any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Claustrophobic
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
My undies are feeling a bit tight, can you offer any suggestions?
Sincerely,
Claustrophobic
Dear Crowded Cajones,
Thank you for your inquiry about a most pressing issue. one must strike a balance between the need for support, a desire for decorum,
& the want of Willie & the boys to feel unencumbered. Toward this compromise, I suggest boxers, which offer a wide array of both
support levels & stylish fashion options. You might buy an assortment, ranging from a knit fabric with some support to a flannel which
affords that "commando" feeling. From these, you will select your personal best option to free Willie.
 

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,

What's for dinner tonight? I don't mean to pressure you but I need to know quickly so I have time to prepare it. My family has developed the habit of wanting to have dinner every night, and my creativity on the subject does not always surface as regularly.

Dinner Di-Lemma
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
What's for dinner tonight? I don't mean to pressure you but I need to know quickly so I have time to prepare it. My family has developed the habit of wanting to have dinner every night, and my creativity on the subject does not always surface as regularly.
Dinner Di-Lemma
Dear Dinner Dilemma,
Thank your for your culinary inquiry. Alas, I usually don't know what is for dinner until I arrive home to find what Mrs Rev is cooking. (It's women's work,
you know.) I can say what we had yesterday though....roasted pork with a dry chili rub, broccoli, pierogis (potato filled) & pineapple. I hope that helps.
It occurs to me that sandwiches are always good.
 

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Dear Dinner Dilemma,
Thank your for your culinary inquiry. Alas, I usually don't know what is for dinner until I arrive home to find what Mrs Rev is cooking. (It's women's work,
you know.) I can say what we had yesterday though....roasted pork with a dry chili rub, broccoli, pierogis (potato filled) & pineapple. I hope that helps.
It occurs to me that sandwiches are always good.

Dear Revoltingest,

That sounds great! You help me more than you may know. You have inspired me to approach the situation from a whole new angle. We're coming to your house! What time should we be there?

On the Way
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest,
That sounds great! You help me more than you may know. You have inspired me to approach the situation from a whole new angle. We're coming to your house! What time should we be there?
On the Way
Dear Galloping Gourmand,
Thank you for your repast request. We will eat about 7:00. You may bring a plastic
bubble for Wirey, who is prone to throwing food....both before & after consuming it.
 

savagewind

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Dear There is hope in the genetic code,

I have two questions. One is why am I sometimes frightfully undecided what letter or letters to capitalize?

I hope two questions isn't too many.

My second question is why am I not worried that no one is listening?



Signed,
Hopelessly insane
 

Reverend Rick

Frubal Whore
Premium Member
Dear Revoltingest, the thought of the local Sheriff deputizing me gave me a chubby. Is this natural for an aging man?

I have dreams about the shot show in LasVegas where I have large sums of cash and a badge only to wake up before the dream is complete. :confused:
 
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