Would you be offended?

[Lycan]

I had something happen to me last night while playing an online game and was looking for some opinions on it...

I was playing City of Heroes and since I am a semi high character, I had a contest that whoever could answer a question for me would win 50k influence (like money in the game). Anyway, a character named ChinkintheArmor won the contest so I said "You are right chink, come claim you prize.". At this point a character named HalfBreed pm'ed me and said, "watch the racial slurs". At first I thought he was joking but I simply replied that it was racial that I had just shortened the winners name which everyone does throughout the game. He then began to chastize me for using racial slurs and threatened to report me. I told him it wasn't racial and to get over himself. He then said he knew I didn't use it racially but didn't care what context it was in, that it was a racial slur and he was offended. We went back and forth over it for a bit then I logged off so my mouth would not get me in real trouble. So what do ya'll think of this? I am still a bit miffed about it.

 

[Prima]

I'd be rather irritated. If he knew that you didn't mean anything rude, what's the problem?
Also, the person whom it was directed to would be responsible for saying something - not someone else!

And meaning is half the insult. If a friend calls me a dyke jokingly, I'm not going to get nearly as offended as I would if someone who was homophobic said it! that's just the way the spoken word is.

Oh, great, now you got me irritated too

 

[Scorn]

Online language has it's own delicate balance. Although "Halfbreed" (a screen name with bigoted connotations in itself) was obviously over the top, the written online language unfortunately lacks nuance. You can never be too careful. Thank goodness for emoticons. You're point is well taken though and you have a case. The problem is, online, you will rarely win it. Especially in a game setting.

 

[Dinogrrl]

For that, where it was obviously just shortening of a name...that guy has a stick up his you-know-what. ...that's all I can think of to say .

 

[cardero]

Next time you refer to this character you should refer to him as maybe "Mr./Mrs. theArmor" or adopt a nickname for him such as "Achilles" this should remove all doubt about your intentions.

 

[michel]

Next time you refer to this character you should refer to him as maybe "Mr./Mrs. theArmor" or adopt a nickname for him such as "Achilles" this should remove all doubt about your intentions.

Now, That is Good!!; I feel a fruball coming on...........

 

[Dr. Nosophoros]

If you didn't mean it in the form that person wanted or needed you to mean it in, then let them judge you whatever way they need to. If you are banned from whatever site because the adminsitrators believe the same, so be it, there are better things to do than apoligize for yourself in someone elses reality.

 

[Scorn]

there are better things to do than apoligize for yourself in someone elses reality.

Wow! How true is that? It's frubal time! There are a few others I wish could understand this simple concept.

 

[Mister Emu]

I probably would have ended up banned from that game You did well to restrain yourself.

(I can't go into what I would have done, because it would probably get me banned form these forums )

Edit: And no I would not have been offended, everyone there exept him/her knew what you were saying, and that person is just an *sshat.

 

[Lycan]

I probably would have ended up banned from that game You did well to restrain yourself.

I figured after I asked him, if i ever meet a character named Cracker Jack I guess I should be offended, that it might be a good time to leave.

 

[robtex]

Lycan you got your intro to predatory behavior and lucky you were online which is a safe way to learn about this (as well as reading is). Rest assured the issue wasn't racicial but a person (bully) looking for trouble and as soon as he found an entrance he took it. I have played city of heros too and I got stuff like that too from time to time but I ignored it because I realized the constructed "issue" was really a substitution for some person issue that the person on the other side of the terminal had.

It was a great learning experience because I bet if you replay it in your mind you will see that really it was a person with personal issues making his issue public issues and disguising it as "racial remarks" . The important point of this, because you will see this again in real life where the stakes are higher, is to know that nucleus of the conflict is not the presented "issue" but instead personal issues that are projected into the presented "issue"

If that indivdual really only had a problem with the statement they saw as racial they would have let it go really early on after your explaination.

I read a book by Galvin De Becker called, "The gift of fear" once that really went into this. I believe every woman should read this book and feel this man has given so much to the world with the research and knowledge he presents in his writing and that book. If you get a chance google him and if you see the book in a store pick it up.

From a non predotory mindset (like yours and mine) it is hard to see things from a predators prespective and De Becker, realizing this did the homework for us. From his book I learned (and saw his theories proven constantly while working for the probatition dept) many peoples personal pains and issues are personfied into artificial ones as a way to justify actions or venting of their feelings. It seems you were likely a scapegoat for his personal anguish which may or may not have had any relationship to racial profiling.

I am glad you had this experience and enlightment online where you were nice and safe from any real harm and hope you new wisdom serves you well.

 

[Lightkeeper]

I would be angry if I were you, because you didn't mean anything by it. However, it might not be a bad idea to not use the word, since it is a racial slur.

 

[Lycan]

I would be angry if I were you, because you didn't mean anything by it. However, it might not be a bad idea to not use the word, since it is a racial slur.

But that was my point, I didn't even "use" the word, I just typed a shortened version of the other character's name (which in my view should have offended my accuser even more, not to mention his own name, Halfbreed), I didn't even think about it. I just don't get it that some people have to take everything so darn seriously that you have to watch every little thing you say even in a video game, in fear of "offending" someone. What kills me is that he didn't even misconstrue what I said, he knew I didn't mean it racially and still he had to mouth about it.

 

[No*s]

I had something happen to me last night while playing an online game and was looking for some opinions on it...

I was playing City of Heroes and since I am a semi high character, I had a contest that whoever could answer a question for me would win 50k influence (like money in the game). Anyway, a character named ChinkintheArmor won the contest so I said "You are right chink, come claim you prize.". At this point a character named HalfBreed pm'ed me and said, "watch the racial slurs". At first I thought he was joking but I simply replied that it was racial that I had just shortened the winners name which everyone does throughout the game. He then began to chastize me for using racial slurs and threatened to report me. I told him it wasn't racial and to get over himself. He then said he knew I didn't use it racially but didn't care what context it was in, that it was a racial slur and he was offended. We went back and forth over it for a bit then I logged off so my mouth would not get me in real trouble. So what do ya'll think of this? I am still a bit miffed about it.

I would probably get more angry than offended (offense, for me, comes when I perceive someone insulting me and mine). I think you handled it pretty good.

 

[Dinogrrl]

Just thought I'd point out that 'chink' isn't even an offensive word unless used as such.

www.merriam-webster.com
Main Entry: 1chink
Pronunciation: 'chi[ng]k
Function: noun
Etymology: probably alteration of Middle English chine crack, fissure
1 : a small cleft, slit, or fissure
2 : a weak spot that may leave one vulnerable
3 : a narrow beam of light shining through a chink

 

[Melody]

He then said he knew I didn't use it racially but didn't care what context it was in, that it was a racial slur and he was offended. We went back and forth over it for a bit then I logged off so my mouth would not get me in real trouble. So what do ya'll think of this? I am still a bit miffed about it.

There are some people who aren't happy unless they're causing trouble somewhere. Let it go and move on. Not only did you not use it as a racial slur, but the person who's name you shortened wasn't complaining that it offended him.

Life is going to get really rough if you can't use the word "chink" in any capacity. Just when I think I've heard it all.

 

[Melody]

I would probably get more angry than offended (offense, for me, comes when I perceive someone insulting me and mine). I think you handled it pretty good.

Yeah yeah...you talk pretty tough for a guy in bunny slippers. <running>:woohoo:

 

[Lycan]

Just thought I'd point out that 'chink' isn't even an offensive word unless used as such.

YES..THANK YOU! That is what I said.... I would frubal quite a few of you if I could (all out right now )

 

[Halcyon]

Sounds like that guy was the type who can't admit it when they get something wrong, i think i would've just laughed at him for being a fool.

 

[No*s]

Yeah yeah...you talk pretty tough for a guy in bunny slippers. <running>:woohoo:

Yeah, you better run. I've got all those guns to go with my cute bunny slippers .