Wrong thread
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Work Stories Of Awkwardness
- Thread starter Revoltingest
- Start date
Wrong thread
Rhyming is always worthwhile when opportunity knocks.
An employee of mine was caught by the company President's Executive Assistant with a female employee in the exec's mail/copy room. They tried to explain that they were just fixing the copier. Problem is, the light switch is connected to the door, and when the door is closed -- the light is off.
Blush!
Blush!
Erebus
Well-Known Member
Not quite work related but when I was at university, there was a Korean student who was trying to make new friends. He spoke English well but didn't grasp all the intricacies of the language and asked me to correct him if he slipped up. He couldn't figure out why a lot of the guys he tried to make friends with kept making excuses to leave.
I had to explain to him that, "I want to have a relationship with English men." Didn't quite mean what he thought it did.
My brother-in-law from Iran was teaching a class.
He asked them to "take out a piece of sheet" for notes.
He asked them to "take out a piece of sheet" for notes.
That doesn't rhyme, but give it time and it'll be just fine
We have a Spanish friend who delights in talking about sheets. Bed sheets, sheets of paper, any sheet and he's happy as a pig in sheet
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I remember this guy in a chatroom. He talked in kind of a sophisticated fashion. Well one night he came on and sounded a little not sober. The stuff he was saying sounded like what that man said (though I'm sure the guy in your story was probably sober / just poor English). But anyway, he got on the next day and said he was a sleepwalker and was typing while doing this sleepwalking. While I didn't really believe him necessarily, and the whole chatroom didn't, I did confirm to others he was acting different and probably did sleepwalk because I just wanted that drama out of the way and was ready to get to whatever drama comes next.
I think he was a cool guy either way. Though I hear he got a little fame and fortune later, and I probably wouldn't stand up again because I'm not big on helping "the big guys" if I do go to the trouble of helping someone.
Speaking of which, I kind of had a (not huge) celebrity friend once. It didn't work out though, much for the same reason employee/boss friendships sometimes don't work too well.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
Things always get funny when you work nights in a 24/7 store that sells alcohol. The drunks come in about 3 AM and a lot of them, for some strange reason, would think they were trying to sell something, when they didn't have the item they said they were trying to sell, and if they did, no one would buy it anyway.
I grew up in an Army town that had training exercises for the Brits. These guys were barely understandable for us Canadian prairie boys. It didn't take us long to figure out what birds were, but sheet was another matter. "Where can we buy some sheet?"
Back when I was in the funeral business, there was this lady whose husband had just died. She wanted him cremated. When asked what she wanted to do with the ashes, she didn't want them scattered or put into an urn. She said "Just flush 'em down the toilet." We couldn't do that, and told her that the ashes had to be put into a container. So, she brought in an old cookie tin and took the ashes home (where, I presume, she flushed them down the toilet).
Paddling in a strange canoe.
At the river's end we're through.
I perceive someone's been drinking.
That's ok unless they're sinking.
As some of you know, I have a severe speech disorder. This doesn't always get conveyed to coworkers on starting a new job. More than one person over the years has sat waiting for a response from me (I don't speak, but I'll write) with deep confusion (until they're told by someone, or myself, and then they awkwardly apologize.) I think the apology always annoys me more. It's fine dude!
Anyway, there was this one job where this dude just liked to hear himself talk apparently, because I could not get him to shut up and leave me alone even if I rotated my monitor away, tried to type to look like I was busy at the time, or very pointedly and slowly put a bookmark in a book I was reading and setting it down slowly to listen to them, then eventually picking it back up. That was literally the worst.
Anyway, there was this one job where this dude just liked to hear himself talk apparently, because I could not get him to shut up and leave me alone even if I rotated my monitor away, tried to type to look like I was busy at the time, or very pointedly and slowly put a bookmark in a book I was reading and setting it down slowly to listen to them, then eventually picking it back up. That was literally the worst.
While working at Black & Decker (Medical Products Div),
I discovered that eating lots'o raw garlic kept others at bay.
Really.
Unwanted discussions quickly ended after the complaint.
Quoted from another forum.....
Years ago when she first got her drivers license, my sister got stopped by
the State Police. A young trooper asked her for her license and registration.
She gave it to him and said "I bet you stopped me to sell me tickets to the
State Policeman's Ball!" The trooper looked at her very sternly and said
"State policemen don't have balls" He immediately turned red in the face
realizing what he had said, gave her identification back, and walked back
to his cruiser and drove off, letting her go.
Years ago when she first got her drivers license, my sister got stopped by
the State Police. A young trooper asked her for her license and registration.
She gave it to him and said "I bet you stopped me to sell me tickets to the
State Policeman's Ball!" The trooper looked at her very sternly and said
"State policemen don't have balls" He immediately turned red in the face
realizing what he had said, gave her identification back, and walked back
to his cruiser and drove off, letting her go.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I might have one too in real life. Though I'm careful about saying such in case I don't and it's called something else. I speak in a slow tone despite having a quick mind, and it makes people think I'm dumb, sometimes even telling me they think I am, when the truth is I think my intelligence kind of handicapped me, making me different than other people. But try telling that to a particular kind of country person who thinks if someone jokes that they are a yuppie, that they are being serious and will stop talking to them ever again as a result.
People make too many assumptions. While we’re all guilty of it, it also helps to weed out the ones that don’t deserve you in a sense. Let people think you are slow due to your speech, the ones that are worth a dang thing will perceive you for the content, not the rate of speech. <3
The only job I had, I started at 17, and stayed for over a decade. Being the very nervous sort in my youth, I would hate when supervisors would as if I wanted to pick up shifts(they were always understaffed). But as nervous as I was, I also greatly valued my free time. So, of course, I made excuses. Had an appointment, an engagement, something to do for Grandma, etc. And one day they called and asked the usual question. I was in the bathtub. I just plain out said "no". No explanation, no excuse. They waited on the phone for a moment. Realized I wasn't going to say any more, and said "well... okay then". And it was exhilarating. I loved saying no!
And it went on from there. The nos kept coming, and eventually morphed into insults as I became more comfortable with myself. I remember a supervisor asking me once to fill a shift, and I opened up her desk drawer, looking for the booze(because she had to have been drunk if she thought I was going to fill it). The supervisors typically only asked me to fill a shift at that point if they were looking for a laugh.
One day, a new supervisor called me. Technically, the calls were supposed to go out based on seniority, and in a place where the average worker lasted less than a year, I was getting close to my decade mark. Of course, no one followed this protocol, especially when it came to me. The new supervisor couldn't be talked out of it. I recognized she was new, so I just gave her a simple no. A moment later, I got a frenzied call from another supervisor. "What, no comments about her drug and drinking problem? You're not going to check to see if she got hit on the head?" I explained that she was new, and I was trying to give her a break, but if they really wanted, she could call back and I'd give her similar treatment(she didn't, but she never called again).
And it went on from there. The nos kept coming, and eventually morphed into insults as I became more comfortable with myself. I remember a supervisor asking me once to fill a shift, and I opened up her desk drawer, looking for the booze(because she had to have been drunk if she thought I was going to fill it). The supervisors typically only asked me to fill a shift at that point if they were looking for a laugh.
One day, a new supervisor called me. Technically, the calls were supposed to go out based on seniority, and in a place where the average worker lasted less than a year, I was getting close to my decade mark. Of course, no one followed this protocol, especially when it came to me. The new supervisor couldn't be talked out of it. I recognized she was new, so I just gave her a simple no. A moment later, I got a frenzied call from another supervisor. "What, no comments about her drug and drinking problem? You're not going to check to see if she got hit on the head?" I explained that she was new, and I was trying to give her a break, but if they really wanted, she could call back and I'd give her similar treatment(she didn't, but she never called again).
VoidCat
Pronouns: he/him/they/them
I have issues with mutism due to my autism. I lose the ability to speak sometimes even tho I am usually very verbal.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I worked at a job the higher ups didn't care about much and the manager under me, though older than me at the time, was pretty young and still in the college party stages. One thing he loved was XBox, and hated PlayStation.
There was a new worker that wasn't very fast at his job. A veteran there who wasn't a manager complained to the manager about his speed. Hard work was the one thing important to a lot of people at this job.
The manager answered the veteran, "Just because someone is slow, doesn't mean they can't be an asset to the company. So I will interview him to see if he should be kept."
So the manager shot the breeze with the new employee during break. Halfway through the conversation, the new employee mentioned that he had a PlayStation at home and absolutely loved PlayStation. A disgusted look came over the manager's face. It wasn't long later that the guy was fired.
I know this story may sound odd, but I'm talking the minimum wage, almost fast food caliber type of job where in some places, anything goes... and not a more white collar office setting.
There was a new worker that wasn't very fast at his job. A veteran there who wasn't a manager complained to the manager about his speed. Hard work was the one thing important to a lot of people at this job.
The manager answered the veteran, "Just because someone is slow, doesn't mean they can't be an asset to the company. So I will interview him to see if he should be kept."
So the manager shot the breeze with the new employee during break. Halfway through the conversation, the new employee mentioned that he had a PlayStation at home and absolutely loved PlayStation. A disgusted look came over the manager's face. It wasn't long later that the guy was fired.
I know this story may sound odd, but I'm talking the minimum wage, almost fast food caliber type of job where in some places, anything goes... and not a more white collar office setting.