Why do you have to be married to raise children successfully ?

[Zita]

Today I read a post that really got a rise out of me.So I wanted to see if there were more people with this mind set,or were there more people who don't see it that way,like me?The Reply to the Question of Why is it a sin to have pre-marital sex? This person(who I'm not sure if I can name here)
had nerve enough to say "isn't it obvious? For the kids' sake!
Just what society doesn't need, more unloved children from such unions, running around with no guidance and turning into thugs!"
OMG,I was livid. How dare he! I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly. I know these women or men who are single parents who give love unconditional, they are very supportive parents I've ever known, they encourage their kids and praise them when they accomplish there pursuits and inspire them when they fail there pursuits and stand by them proudly! and don't let them quit, they give guidance and direction aimlessly,never saying they regret being a single parent.
Now, on the flip side , there are married couples who aren't so successful at producing a good society model,they are really rebellious, ungrateful and think only of themselves, and not very respectable , not to mention a lot of these kids kill their mother or father or both among other crimes.Now am I saying that this is the case in most? no, I'm not, but I am saying it's a very large percent, how do I come to this conclusion? I watch true crimes and Investigation Discovery and it's on the news all the time and see tons of these cases.And I know a few myself.How can I relate? I have 4 boys as a single parent and I loved my kids with every fiber of my being, I always supported them , putting them in sports, making sure they were being raised the way I will be proud of, we made it together and I felt that I was just as successful all by myself as a single parent, not married,and not one of them turned out to be as he said "Thugs". They respect me always and always tell me they are grateful for being such a good mother. They all went to college and now working hard in their careers, My first child is a doctor at his own practice, The second child is a veterinarian in England, the third child is in the army and is now a general and the 4th child is now studying for his Doctorates Degree to be a psychiatrist !! I am so very proud and all my hard work and effort paid off!! and they are a wonderful asset to society. Pretty good for a single parent family !! Don't ya think?
Now, I am really interested in the opinions or others?

 

[Vinayaka]

Some people still live in an old paradigm. It's silly, and best to just ignore it. Doesn't meet with facts at all. Tons of successful kids come from all kinds of diverse families.

 

[The Reverend Bob]

Because it has been proven that children are better off with two parents of the same sex as they provide a more stable environment for bringing up children

 

[columbus]

[QUOTE="Zita, post: 6181811, member: 66399"I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly.[/QUOTE]
You can always find unusual events.
But one of the biggest indicators of a successful adult is a solid family.

There are single parents who've beaten the odds and raised competent children. But there's a ton more screwed up kids out there who's parents weren't responsible enough to use birth control.

Parents who considered themselves entitled to fertile sex, but weren't responsible enough to use birth control.
Tom

 

[columbus]

Because it has been proven that children are better off with two parents of the same sex as they provide a more stable environment for bringing up children

Two parents of the same sex still are statistically better than two parents who aren't responsible enough to use birth control.
Tom

 

[Stevicus]

Today I read a post that really got a rise out of me.So I wanted to see if there were more people with this mind set,or were there more people who don't see it that way,like me?The Reply to the Question of Why is it a sin to have pre-marital sex? This person(who I'm not sure if I can name here)
had nerve enough to say "isn't it obvious? For the kids' sake!
Just what society doesn't need, more unloved children from such unions, running around with no guidance and turning into thugs!"
OMG,I was livid. How dare he! I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly. I know these women or men who are single parents who give love unconditional, they are very supportive parents I've ever known, they encourage their kids and praise them when they accomplish there pursuits and inspire them when they fail there pursuits and stand by them proudly! and don't let them quit, they give guidance and direction aimlessly,never saying they regret being a single parent.
Now, on the flip side , there are married couples who aren't so successful at producing a good society model,they are really rebellious, ungrateful and think only of themselves, and not very respectable , not to mention a lot of these kids kill their mother or father or both among other crimes.Now am I saying that this is the case in most? no, I'm not, but I am saying it's a very large percent, how do I come to this conclusion? I watch true crimes and Investigation Discovery and it's on the news all the time and see tons of these cases.And I know a few myself.How can I relate? I have 4 boys as a single parent and I loved my kids with every fiber of my being, I always supported them , putting them in sports, making sure they were being raised the way I will be proud of, we made it together and I felt that I was just as successful all by myself as a single parent, not married,and not one of them turned out to be as he said "Thugs". They respect me always and always tell me they are grateful for being such a good mother. They all went to college and now working hard in their careers, My first child is a doctor at his own practice, The second child is a veterinarian in England, the third child is in the army and is now a general and the 4th child is now studying for his Doctorates Degree to be a psychiatrist !! I am so very proud and all my hard work and effort paid off!! and they are a wonderful asset to society. Pretty good for a single parent family !! Don't ya think?
Now, I am really interested in the opinions or others?

Well, obviously some do a better job than others. I don't know if being single or married makes that much of a difference, depending the individuals involved and the circumstances they're facing.

Some of it might be due to economics, as a two-parent household can generate two incomes, which is usually better than one income. For those who live in the less affluent districts, they might find themselves among various elements which can influence certain "thuggish" behaviors. The schools are often sub-standard in the less affluent districts.

As for the question about why it's a sin to have pre-marital sex, I think someone was just stating their own opinion. I seem to recall being told that it was a sin to even think about having pre-marital sex.

 

[Darkforbid]

Because it has been proven that children are better off with two parents of the same sex as they provide a more stable environment for bringing up children

Yep, and around 80 are lesbians, so I can see how two mums would work

 

[Enoch07]

OMG,I was livid. How dare he!

Single parent families are the leading cause for drug abuse, criminal activity, and poverty. It's just a fact.

 

[whirlingmerc]

Today I read a post that really got a rise out of me.So I wanted to see if there were more people with this mind set,or were there more people who don't see it that way,like me?The Reply to the Question of Why is it a sin to have pre-marital sex? This person(who I'm not sure if I can name here)
had nerve enough to say "isn't it obvious? For the kids' sake!
Just what society doesn't need, more unloved children from such unions, running around with no guidance and turning into thugs!"
OMG,I was livid. How dare he! I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly. I know these women or men who are single parents who give love unconditional, they are very supportive parents I've ever known, they encourage their kids and praise them when they accomplish there pursuits and inspire them when they fail there pursuits and stand by them proudly! and don't let them quit, they give guidance and direction aimlessly,never saying they regret being a single parent.
Now, on the flip side , there are married couples who aren't so successful at producing a good society model,they are really rebellious, ungrateful and think only of themselves, and not very respectable , not to mention a lot of these kids kill their mother or father or both among other crimes.Now am I saying that this is the case in most? no, I'm not, but I am saying it's a very large percent, how do I come to this conclusion? I watch true crimes and Investigation Discovery and it's on the news all the time and see tons of these cases.And I know a few myself.How can I relate? I have 4 boys as a single parent and I loved my kids with every fiber of my being, I always supported them , putting them in sports, making sure they were being raised the way I will be proud of, we made it together and I felt that I was just as successful all by myself as a single parent, not married,and not one of them turned out to be as he said "Thugs". They respect me always and always tell me they are grateful for being such a good mother. They all went to college and now working hard in their careers, My first child is a doctor at his own practice, The second child is a veterinarian in England, the third child is in the army and is now a general and the 4th child is now studying for his Doctorates Degree to be a psychiatrist !! I am so very proud and all my hard work and effort paid off!! and they are a wonderful asset to society. Pretty good for a single parent family !! Don't ya think?
Now, I am really interested in the opinions or others?

I think it usually gives the children a greater feeling of stability and security. That is a generalization but generally the case.

 

[The Reverend Bob]

I think it usually gives the children a greater feeling of stability and security. That is a generalization but generally the case.

And if the parents relationship is healthy , it also teaches them about relationships

 

[Darkforbid]

Single parent families are the leading cause for drug abuse, criminal activity, and poverty. It's just a fact.

You are aware this Gay is best propaganda is fast losing much of the support that brought you equality in the first place

 

[Enoch07]

You are aware this Gay is best propaganda is fast losing much of the support that brought you equality in the first place

Doesn't matter gay, straight, black, white, or brown. 1 parent trying to do the job of 2 usually leaves the children alone to fend for themselves too often. Even if they are all home together, the single parent after working all day, cooking, then cleaning is tired and doesn't have the time and energy a 2 parent homes does to put in time to spend with the kids. Heck 2 parent homes struggle to spend quality time with their kids after work/cooking/cleaning/chores. Let alone have time to themselves which is beneficial for their own mental health.

So the kids look to others for mentoring/company. All too often it's the shady characters that are the most accepting and down the dark path these kids go into a life of crime/drugs/abuse/poverty.

This is one of the main problems that has decimated the Black community in the U.S. since the 60's. As black divorce rate have sky rocketed since the civil rights era, these single parent homes crated poverty, crime, etc. Which then produced more single parent homes as children being born out of wedlock/black fathers being incarcerated. And the vicious cycle just keeps repeating itself.

 

[Darkforbid]

Doesn't matter gay, straight, black, white, or brown. 1 parent trying to do the job of 2 usually leaves the children alone to fend for themselves too often. Even if they are all home together, the single parent after working all day, cooking, then cleaning is tired and doesn't have the time and energy a 2 parent homes does to put in time to spend with the kids. Heck 2 parent homes struggle to spend quality time with their kids after work/cooking/cleaning/chores. Let alone have time to themselves which is beneficial for their own mental health.

So the kids look to others for mentoring/company. All too often it's the shady characters that are the most accepting and down the dark path these kids go into a life of crime/drugs/abuse/poverty.

This is one of the main problems that has decimated the Black community in the U.S. since the 60's. As black divorce rate have sky rocketed since the civil rights era, these single parent homes crated poverty, crime, etc. Which then produced more single parent homes as children being born out of wedlock/black fathers being incarcerated. And the vicious cycle just keeps repeating itself.

Yep, and the world just about ****ed. We're like a plague of planet killing rats

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Today I read a post that really got a rise out of me.So I wanted to see if there were more people with this mind set,or were there more people who don't see it that way,like me?The Reply to the Question of Why is it a sin to have pre-marital sex? This person(who I'm not sure if I can name here)
had nerve enough to say "isn't it obvious? For the kids' sake!
Just what society doesn't need, more unloved children from such unions, running around with no guidance and turning into thugs!"
OMG,I was livid. How dare he! I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly. I know these women or men who are single parents who give love unconditional, they are very supportive parents I've ever known, they encourage their kids and praise them when they accomplish there pursuits and inspire them when they fail there pursuits and stand by them proudly! and don't let them quit, they give guidance and direction aimlessly,never saying they regret being a single parent.
Now, on the flip side , there are married couples who aren't so successful at producing a good society model,they are really rebellious, ungrateful and think only of themselves, and not very respectable , not to mention a lot of these kids kill their mother or father or both among other crimes.Now am I saying that this is the case in most? no, I'm not, but I am saying it's a very large percent, how do I come to this conclusion? I watch true crimes and Investigation Discovery and it's on the news all the time and see tons of these cases.And I know a few myself.How can I relate? I have 4 boys as a single parent and I loved my kids with every fiber of my being, I always supported them , putting them in sports, making sure they were being raised the way I will be proud of, we made it together and I felt that I was just as successful all by myself as a single parent, not married,and not one of them turned out to be as he said "Thugs". They respect me always and always tell me they are grateful for being such a good mother. They all went to college and now working hard in their careers, My first child is a doctor at his own practice, The second child is a veterinarian in England, the third child is in the army and is now a general and the 4th child is now studying for his Doctorates Degree to be a psychiatrist !! I am so very proud and all my hard work and effort paid off!! and they are a wonderful asset to society. Pretty good for a single parent family !! Don't ya think?
Now, I am really interested in the opinions or others?

It's because marriage provides the best stability for child rearing. Not sure why that made you mad. That doesn't mean that single parent homes never are successful, just that they're not as successful on average to households led by a married couple.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

You are aware this Gay is best propaganda is fast losing much of the support that brought you equality in the first place

Who said that homosexuality is best here? Your post seems very random.

 

[Zita]

[QUOTE="Zita, post: 6181811, member: 66399"I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly.

You can always find unusual events.
But one of the biggest indicators of a successful adult is a solid family.

There are single parents who've beaten the odds and raised competent children. But there's a ton more screwed up kids out there who's parents weren't responsible enough to use birth control.

Parents who considered themselves entitled to fertile sex, but weren't responsible enough to use birth control.
Tom[/QUOTE]
Why is she getting a bad rap (saying)she was not responsible enough to take birth control. Have you every thought there are lots of people who want to have children and are fantastic as a single parent. I'm mainly trying to say that just because a child came out of a single parent house doesn't mean they will always result in criminal activity ,drugs and Thugs and in poverty.,Yes because this is a big world therefore you will find some single parents that struggle and can't stop their kids from being in the streets, and you can find married couples who have kids in a marriage that, may do the same or worse" but not always". and it's a very ignorant person who says all children born by a single mom will be a menses to society and that they are unloved,and with no guidance and engage in criminal actions. I just wanted to raise that fact after reading that post.!! Don't stereotype people. We are all different people who do things in different manner.

 

[Zita]

Some people still live in an old paradigm. It's silly, and best to just ignore it. Doesn't meet with facts at all. Tons of successful kids come from all kinds of diverse families.

Yes they do.

 

[Zita]

It's because marriage provides the best stability for child rearing. Not sure why that made you mad. That doesn't mean that single parent homes never are successful, just that they're not as successful on average to households led by a married couple.[/QUOTE
And I don't really agree with you. Many years ago this may have been the fact, but in this day and time it is very different , We have successful 43 year old women choosing to have a child without marriage and provides excellent parenting skills and raising very good children, and working so they don't have to be in poverty,like I said this is a big world with trillions of people, it can go both ways now with raising children on your own or married successfully.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

@Zita, I'm not aware of any studies that agree with you. Finances are but one method of success. It takes a lot more than that.

 

[Hockeycowboy]

Today I read a post that really got a rise out of me.So I wanted to see if there were more people with this mind set,or were there more people who don't see it that way,like me?The Reply to the Question of Why is it a sin to have pre-marital sex? This person(who I'm not sure if I can name here)
had nerve enough to say "isn't it obvious? For the kids' sake!
Just what society doesn't need, more unloved children from such unions, running around with no guidance and turning into thugs!"
OMG,I was livid. How dare he! I know for a fact that there are a lot of single parents who have raised there children successfully and proudly. I know these women or men who are single parents who give love unconditional, they are very supportive parents I've ever known, they encourage their kids and praise them when they accomplish there pursuits and inspire them when they fail there pursuits and stand by them proudly! and don't let them quit, they give guidance and direction aimlessly,never saying they regret being a single parent.
Now, on the flip side , there are married couples who aren't so successful at producing a good society model,they are really rebellious, ungrateful and think only of themselves, and not very respectable , not to mention a lot of these kids kill their mother or father or both among other crimes.Now am I saying that this is the case in most? no, I'm not, but I am saying it's a very large percent, how do I come to this conclusion? I watch true crimes and Investigation Discovery and it's on the news all the time and see tons of these cases.And I know a few myself.How can I relate? I have 4 boys as a single parent and I loved my kids with every fiber of my being, I always supported them , putting them in sports, making sure they were being raised the way I will be proud of, we made it together and I felt that I was just as successful all by myself as a single parent, not married,and not one of them turned out to be as he said "Thugs". They respect me always and always tell me they are grateful for being such a good mother. They all went to college and now working hard in their careers, My first child is a doctor at his own practice, The second child is a veterinarian in England, the third child is in the army and is now a general and the 4th child is now studying for his Doctorates Degree to be a psychiatrist !! I am so very proud and all my hard work and effort paid off!! and they are a wonderful asset to society. Pretty good for a single parent family !! Don't ya think?
Now, I am really interested in the opinions or others?

Hello.

It was my post. I too was raised by a single parent, my mother. (I'd like to have had a Dad around, though.) They were married for several years before I came. It wasn't frivolous, no-commitment sex, which is what the OP was about, BTW.

I'm glad your 4 children turned out great! All w/ the same Dad?




I guess I turned ou