Why are women so spiteful

[ladyhawke]

I know this may be a generalisation...but heres a link have a read then post what you think

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=392856&in_page_id=1773

"Why are women so .. [spiteful]?"

'Are girls really doomed to be .. [spiteful]?'

'Boys, it seems, forge alliances to get on.

Girls seek to exclude and rule.'

From the Daily Mail, 28.06.2006. by Allison Pearson

 

[Ðanisty]

If I knew, then I'd probably have female friends and I probably wouldn't have suffered as much through school. Women are evil...that's the conclusion I've come to anyway and I am a woman. Women are manipulative and vindictive...moreso to other women than to men even.

 

[Happier]

Hon, men are not immune to that syndrome. Just watching a few episodes of the last several "Survivor" seasons convinced me of that.

And on OUR Big Brother series, there's a character named Will who walks around in a t-shirt that says "I'm probably lying" yet people continue to believe the manipulative lies he tells them.

To be honest, there are quite a few men in my life who proved themselves to be lying, spiteful, and manipulative schemers. But the women friends I have had have been wonderfully supportive and reliable (tho I would not want to cross them).

 

[kateyes]

I have never had many female friends--I don't quite understand why--in general I thing women compete more with each other, I view thier spitefulness as an extension of that competition. Maybe it is a holdover from prehistoric times--we are all still competing for the best hunter.

 

[evearael]

It is an overgeneralisation, but I've noticed the tendancy in far too many. I absolutely cannot stand drama and manipulation. Life is too short to waste on petty rivalries. I also tend to get along with guys a lot better than girls as a result. Thankfully, not all women are like that, but I feel that young girls are encultured for low self-esteem, competition and manipulation from a young age. Until we stop setting the stage for yet another generation of battles, it will continue.

 

[Arrow]

Top 5 Things I Admire about Women
1) The love of a woman is a priceless gift that inspires awe in everyone
2) The dedication and devotion that women have for things they love is unsurpassable
3) No one can have as much patience as a mother
4) Tougher than men...child birth
5) The ability to heal that which is broken
I really do not know much about women, but I do know that without them men would be hopelessly lost.

 

[Buttons*]

anyone can be vindictive

 

[Ori]

anyone can be vindictive

Exactly, it takes two to tango ( or something ).

 

[jamaesi]

Both genders can be spiteful.

It's just that when men are our society shrugs it off and says "boys will be boys" and then cluck and point their fingers and shame a woman for the same thing.



If you want people to stop being spiteful stop being spiteful yourself and don't support other people being spiteful- and avoid supporting hurtful stereotypes and gender roles while you're at it.

 

[Radio Frequency X]

Women aren't spiteful. They tend to be insecure and passive-aggressive, which comes off like spitefulness. Women are no better or worse than men, we just tend to have different problems.

 

[Ðanisty]

Women aren't spiteful. They tend to be insecure and passive-aggressive, which comes off like spitefulness.

Yeah..and we all know that insecure and passive-aggressive is better than spiteful...:sarcastic

 

[Sunstone]

I don't know whether girls are more spiteful than boys, but in principle, at least, I would not be surprised if there were a gender based difference.

That's because there are other well established gender based differences between males and females. Males tend to be more visually oriented than females in choosing mates, for instance. Or, males are quicker to resort to physical violence than females.

So, there might be a gender based difference regarding which sex is typically more spiteful, but I haven't seen any science to support that notion. Does anyone know of any studies of this subject?

 

[Purple Thyme]

This is the perfect thread to vent. Spitefulness in women - oh yes - today at my job, i work with 20 women. My immediate supervisor decides to screw with me 2 hours before I go on vacation. Everyday in another drama that needn't be making someones life a little more miserable. I'm doing upmy resume and my next job will be with men.
They say what they think and move on.

 

[Booko]

It is an overgeneralisation, but I've noticed the tendancy in far too many. I absolutely cannot stand drama and manipulation. Life is too short to waste on petty rivalries. I also tend to get along with guys a lot better than girls as a result. Thankfully, not all women are like that, but I feel that young girls are encultured for low self-esteem, competition and manipulation from a young age. Until we stop setting the stage for yet another generation of battles, it will continue.

True. I've always wondered why women in the past were so criticized for being manipulative and dramatic, when those were the only methods they had for getting what they needed or wanted. If you asked for something directly you were told to sit down, shut up, and to know your place.

It's about as sensible as refusing to educating them, and then decrying them for being so stupid.

 

[Booko]

Women aren't spiteful. They tend to be insecure and passive-aggressive, which comes off like spitefulness. Women are no better or worse than men, we just tend to have different problems.

Also true. I don't hear a lot about roaming gangs of violent female youths.

 

[Booko]

This is the perfect thread to vent. Spitefulness in women - oh yes - today at my job, i work with 20 women. My immediate supervisor decides to screw with me 2 hours before I go on vacation. Everyday in another drama that needn't be making someones life a little more miserable. I'm doing upmy resume and my next job will be with men.
They say what they think and move on.

Men will screw with you at work too, just in different ways. (er...no pun intended! )

I've had problems with men at work...it's just that it typically only happens if they have something to gain personally.

otoh, I've had problems with women because they felt slighted because I quietly chose not to hang out with them and mind my own business.

Men tend not to have a problem with that. Some women will take it as a personal insult.

 

[Radio Frequency X]

Yeah..and we all know that insecure and passive-aggressive is better than spiteful...:sarcastic

Men tend to be jerks and women tend to be insane. It's the natural state of things; in fact, it seems to be that way throughout the animal kingdom. The great thing about men and women is that we are different and our difference allow us to form dynamic and interesting relationships. (and sex is great)

 

[Faint]

Interesting article. I think I have your answer:
Women come across as "spiteful" more often because of they way they compete for mates. Women are selected by men more than they do the selecting. Therefore, they must vie to be chosen from among the other females that a male might go for. This makes backstabbing and passive agressive behavior more common in females groups. I see this all the time...a girl trying to make herself seem more attractive to me will talk poorly of a (hot) girl who she sees as a threat her own attraction factor. Even if she doesn't know the girl personally, it's like "oh she's not a real blonde" or "those shoes are so out of style" etc.--as if I care.

But this is usually behind the scenes as far as us males are concerned. It seems like women know that men don't want to see them being "spiteful" or petty towards other women (it's ugly behavior and would make us think less of them), so the battles tend to be more subtle.

I would also mention that the more insecure a woman is about herself, the more "spiteful" she becomes. On some subconcious level she thinks, "I don't have much to offer, so I will make sure that the males think [my female competitor] has even less...thus I will win a mate by default."

 

[standing_on_one_foot]

I'm not sure I'd base my view of human nature on reality TV, mind (I'd end up with an extraordinarily dim view, among other things)...and by no means are all the women I know spiteful (and it hardly seems fair to say they just don't count). But in my experience with my friends, I would say the female ones (particularly, it might be worth noting, those who seem to make more effort to be stereotypically feminine) do tend to be more...

It's tough to describe. But they pay more attention to relationships and every little act or statement and what it means and what's behind it and all that. Sometimes it seems like they're looking for slights, I suppose, which they then tend to take rather personally. My friends who are guys tend to take things more at face value, or if they look for these things they never talk about it (it's generalization, but it's pretty fair).

So there's that. But really, both sides can be nasty or vindictive or exclusive. It's just the level of subtlety seems, on the average, to be higher with the girls. But I'd hesitate to make any grand, sweeping statements; it varies so much between individuals. However, the stereotype is there, and I know quite a few people who are rather invested in the stereotype.

 

[turk179]

The majority of women are not like what you see on reality t.v. shows. Keep in mind that the only parts you see on the t.v.are the edited and cut parts of the show that make for entertaining t.v. All of the other stuff that happens you don't get to see, like normal life things. Now to answer the question at hand. Women are not spiteful. Some people are spiteful but this is not gender specific. As a matter of fact, almost all gender specific statements I have read on this thread should be corrected to say some people are this or that.