What is "Men's Issues"?

[Smart_Guy]

Hello!

What is it exactly, in the context of this forum? Is it problems men have in general just for being men? Is it in being men compared to being children? Is it in being men compared to being women?

I do have issues where I live in all of the proposed above, but since I'm an Arab, it could be different from what the context of this forum is about.

 

[Sunstone]

What sort of issues do you have, SG? Just curious.

 

[Revoltingest]

Hello!

What is it exactly, in the context of this forum? Is it problems men have in general just for being men? Is it in being men compared to being children? Is it in being men compared to being women?

I do have issues where I live in all of the proposed above, but since I'm an Arab, it could be different from what the context of this forum is about.

This is for issues which affect men more than or differently from women.
Examples.....
- Female to male transition
- Military draft
- Figuring out what wives/galpals really mean from what they say
- Child custody issues
- Big firey explosions

 

[Smart_Guy]

Not sure if they are issues, but they do add to my responsibilities and obligations, and you know how that feels.

Since women don't drive here, I take my sister to school in the morning, which makes me wake up early everyday. The same thing when my family want to go out, I have to drive for them. Men are expected to be the benefactors by their wives, so getting married makes one save so much money to gain acceptance from the women they ask for marriage.

I'm not complaining and don't mind having them as responsibilities because of my sense of duty and self respect, it is just that they are there to me as possible examples for men's issues. Are they?

 

[Revoltingest]

Not sure if they are issues, but they do add to my responsibilities and obligations, and you know how that feels.

Since women don't drive here, I take my sister to school in the morning, which makes me wake up early everyday. The same thing when my family want to go out, I have to drive for them. Men are expected to be the benefactors by their wives, so getting married makes one save so much money to gain acceptance from the women they ask for marriage.

I'm not complaining and don't mind having them as responsibilities because of my sense of duty and self respect, it is just that they are there to me as possible examples for men's issues. Are they?

They're certainly a men's issue for you.
And it's also an issue for them.

 

[Jumi]

Since women don't drive here, I take my sister to school in the morning, which makes me wake up early everyday. The same thing when my family want to go out, I have to drive for them.

Well that sounds annoying, but it's expected in your culture. Here women drive all the time, but if they have to stay late at work or with friends I always go see that they safely get home.

Men are expected to be the benefactors by their wives, so getting married makes one save so much money to gain acceptance from the women they ask for marriage.

That's a downside of state polygamy and male inheritance, I think, but it's definitely a male issue for your country. In my culture we have no dowry. How much or your yearly salary in % are you talking about here?

I'm not complaining and don't mind having them as responsibilities because of my sense of duty and self respect, it is just that they are there to me as possible examples for men's issues. Are they?

Yes, but it's hard for someone who lives outside your culture to give you useful advice on some things that are outside of our experience because they don't exist in other cultures.

 

[Smart_Guy]

That's a downside of state polygamy and male inheritance, I think, but it's definitely a male issue for your country. In my culture we have no dowry. How much or your yearly salary in % are you talking about here?

If I'm to put myself in the equation, it would be like 90% of my salary. I don't make much money. Dowry is not everything, I'm afraid.

 

[Jumi]

If I'm to put myself in the equation, it would be like 90% of my salary. I don't make much money. Dowry is not everything, I'm afraid.

Well that sucks. Are there alternatives?

 

[SpeaksForTheTrees]

Hello!

What is it exactly, in the context of this forum? Is it problems men have in general just for being men? Is it in being men compared to being children? Is it in being men compared to being women?

I do have issues where I live in all of the proposed above, but since I'm an Arab, it could be different from what the context of this forum is about.

Things that only concern men

Hello!

What is it exactly, in the context of this forum? Is it problems men have in general just for being men? Is it in being men compared to being children? Is it in being men compared to being women?

I do have issues where I live in all of the proposed above, but since I'm an Arab, it could be different from what the context of this forum is about.

Men's issues are exactly that things only men think about .
I don't know if you noticed the male and female play two totally seperate games.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Well that sucks. Are there alternatives?

Improve my financial status or not get married

Actually, I have this sense of duty so I don't complain (whine) about it. I might complain about it a little, but in a good spirit. I think marriage is a great responsibility and one has to be ready for it.

 

[LuisDantas]

That is a nice attitude, but you make it sound like it is not much of a choice. People in your culture expect that behavior and that is that, isn't it?

 

[Kori]

We men love beer, slutty women, and pork. Your paradise huh @Smart_Guy ?

Anyway men do have issues with marriage for example like: "I have been married for 10 years but I am not sure I can handle another 10." Yeah that sounds like a joke but in some cases not really.

 

[Smart_Guy]

That is a nice attitude, but you make it sound like it is not much of a choice. People in your culture expect that behavior and that is that, isn't it?

Yup. It is also gradual, depending on the status of the family, and heavily connected to our own acceptance and believing in it, not just a no-choice situation that goes as a law. Being believers, this kinda reduces its negative effects on us and prevent it from being a serious problems coping with it if it hits. One could be upset about it, but wouldn't let it take over him. Exceptions are always there of course, but typically that's the case.

I guess it is a cultural difference. So many issues here are labeled issues by name and sense, but not considered an issue in the sense of its definition. Marriage here is typical in the age of ~27-28 and starting a family is something we regard to as sacred. Yet here I am, 34 years old, upset about it, but living with no problems and enjoying what I can afford to enjoy and try to achive what I still couldn't, with resolve. It could also be just me, that's true.

We men love beer, slutty women, and pork. Your paradise huh @Smart_Guy ?

Being a Muslim, my reaction could be: wait.. what!?!?

But I get your point

Anyway men do have issues with marriage for example like: "I have been married for 10 years but I am not sure I can handle another 10." Yeah that sounds like a joke but in some cases not really.

Yes, you told me about some of your problems before. Keep living your life at it's fullest and don't give up hope. I hope things get better for you

 

[Kori]

Yes, you told me about some of your problems before. Keep living your life at it's fullest and don't give up hope. I hope things get better for you

That's not what I mentioned. I mentioned before that I haven't had a relationship in 10 years. The "half" joke made was meant to mean that the passion in a marriage can and has worn off for couples . You maybe excited in the beginning but if you do not keep up the hard work the passion will die.

 

[LuisDantas]

Yup. It is also gradual, depending on the status of the family, and heavily connected to our own acceptance and believing in it, not just a no-choice situation that goes as a law. Being believers, this kinda reduces its negative effects on us and prevent it from being a serious problems coping with it if it hits. One could be upset about it, but wouldn't let it take over him. Exceptions are always there of course, but typically that's the case.

I guess it is a cultural difference. So many issues here are labeled issues by name and sense, but not considered an issue in the sense of its definition. Marriage here is typical in the age of ~27-28 and starting a family is something we regard to as sacred. Yet here I am, 34 years old, upset about it, but living with no problems and enjoying what I can afford to enjoy and try to achive what I still couldn't, with resolve. It could also be just me, that's true.

In some IMO significant senses you bring to mind what would be 1950s cultural expectations here.

People often were not really prepared to even learn that there might those who would rather not marry before 30, or not have chlidren, or openly admit that they neither believe in God nor felt troubled by that.

It is not entirely wrong to say that it was our way of life and that many people felt its loss, and to a degree still do. There is, if not value, at least confort in having a clear idea of what other people expect of you. Even if it takes a lot of effort, that gives one at least a clear direction to pursue.

I still feel that it is a good thing that such is no longer the case, although the consequences seem to be often seriously underestimated or taken for granted.

 

[Smart_Guy]

That's not what I mentioned. I mentioned before that I haven't had a relationship in 10 years. The "half" joke made was meant to mean that the passion in a marriage can and has worn off for couples . You maybe excited in the beginning but if you do not keep up the hard work the passion will die.

Well, marriage is not just a passion around here, it's we believe it sacred and a duty. Even when that passion dies, there are other sides to it that makes us still believe in marriage.

In some IMO significant senses you bring to mind what would be 1950s cultural expectations here.

People often were not really prepared to even learn that there might those who would rather not marry before 30, or not have chlidren, or openly admit that they neither believe in God nor felt troubled by that.

It is not entirely wrong to say that it was our way of life and that many people felt its loss, and to a degree still do. There is, if not value, at least confort in having a clear idea of what other people expect of you. Even if it takes a lot of effort, that gives one at least a clear direction to pursue.

I still feel that it is a good thing that such is no longer the case, although the consequences seem to be often seriously underestimated or taken for granted.

Yes, we are traditionalists. Many of those deteriorate or die, true, but the sense of keeping traditions is there, specially the ones that define us and the ones that we believe right and good. It is flexible tho. In my case, my parents remind me to get married from time to time, but that's about it. We are perfectly fine with each other just as I'm growing up not getting married. The community around me and I are fine with each other. We even joke about it and I enjoy it.

 

[Kori]

Well, marriage is not just a passion around here, it's we believe it sacred and a duty. Even when that passion dies, there are other sides to it that makes us still believe in marriage.

Marriage is about Love. Sacred yes, duty? Making a duty never ends well. It leads to misery.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Marriage is about Love. Sacred yes, duty? Making a duty never ends well. It leads to misery.

Maybe if it is just about duty, or duty covers over the other two. We believe that the right sense of duty in anything, makes it better.

 

[limitedyoke]

Hello!

What is it exactly, in the context of this forum? Is it problems men have in general just for being men? Is it in being men compared to being children? Is it in being men compared to being women?

I do have issues where I live in all of the proposed above, but since I'm an Arab, it could be different from what the context of this forum is about.

it is anything that in context as a man you come into contact with that cause you issues or it could be something that being a man has caused you to make decisions that hurt other genders.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Men's issues are in figuring out and accepting that they are all privileged rapists who are all unaware that they are evil sexists who all have the world given to them on a silver platter. Or, so I've gathered.