What do different religions teach about casual sex?

[Trailblazer]

What do different religions teach about casual sex? By casual sex I mean sex just for fun, sex without love, and sex outside or marriage.

My religion, the Baha’i Faith, teaches that sex is only allowed between two lawfully married people, a man and a woman.

As I understand it, the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication. Why then do so many Christians have sex out of wedlock?

I know what Christianity teaches but I do not know what Judaism and Islam teach, but I would like to know. I would also like to know what other religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism teach.

One reason why I want to know what I am asking is because I have been on many dating sites and almost all men who I meet want women who will have casual sex and sex out of wedlock. That is one reason I will never find a man, because I will never compromise my principles, but I am no longer unhappy about not finding a man since I have ceased to care.

Most men I meet self-identify as Christians yet they do not adhere to what the Bible says.
I cannot respect these men. They don’t have to have sex, they just want to have sex.

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? | GotQuestions.org

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? How far is too far for an unmarried couple to go physically? Is kissing / cuddling / making out / foreplay allowed before marriage?

www.gotquestions.org

A relationship is about more than sex but you’d never know it since all these men talk about is sex. I have no interest in any man who considers sex more important than God or anything else that two people enter into a relationship for. Moreover, I cannot understand why men in their late 60s and 70s are still so focused on sex, as if there is nothing else that matters.

Of course, everything I said could apply to women as well as men, but since I do not see what women post on dating sites, I don't know what they say to men.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

What do different religions teach about casual sex? By casual sex I mean sex just for fun, sex without love, and sex outside or marriage.

My religion, the Baha’i Faith, teaches that sex is only allowed between two lawfully married people, a man and a woman.

As I understand it, the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication. Why then do so many Christians have sex out of wedlock?

I do not know what Judaism teaches but I would like to know. I would also like to know what other religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism teach.

One reason why I want to know what I am asking is because I have been on many dating sites and almost all men who I meet want women who will have casual sex and sex out of wedlock. That is one reason I will never find a man, because I will never compromise my principles, but I am no longer unhappy about not finding a man since I have ceased to care.

Most men I meet self-identify as Christians yet they do not adhere to what the Bible says.
I cannot respect these men. They don’t have to have sex, they just want to have sex.

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? | GotQuestions.org

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? How far is too far for an unmarried couple to go physically? Is kissing / cuddling / making out / foreplay allowed before marriage?

www.gotquestions.org

A relationship is about more than sex but you’d never know it since all these men talk about is sex. I have no interest in any man who considers sex more important than God or anything else that two people enter into a relationship for. Moreover, I cannot understand why men in their late 60s and 70s are still so focused on sex, as if there is nothing else that matters.

Of course, everything I said could apply to women as well as men, but since I do not see what women post on dating sites, I don't know what they say to men.

As you say, a relationship is about more than just sex. It's about enjoying walks together, going to movies together, about sharing interests. It's about looking our for one another when times get more difficult, and about celebrating when things are good. And much, much more besides.

Always strikes me as amusing that religions only worry about sex. They don't mind if you do all those other things without being married. They don't even seem to mind if two men, or two women, or 6 guys and 2 girls do all of those things together. Just sex.

Sex is a very powerful human drive -- that is built into our nature, and probably more-so for men (that's what I've heard -- never having been a woman, I can't be certain). And because it is so powerful, religions -- which like to have as much control over us as possible -- put sex at the top of their list of things to control. A great reason, in my opinion, to avoid religion entirely. I don't like being controlled.

 

[Trailblazer]

Sex is a very powerful human drive -- that is built into our nature, and probably more-so for men (that's what I've heard -- never having been a woman, I can't be certain). And because it is so powerful, religions -- which like to have as much control over us as possible -- put sex at the top of their list of things to control. A great reason, in my opinion, to avoid religion entirely. I don't like being controlled.

You are correct. Sex is a very powerful human drive that is built into our nature, and probably more-so for men.

I do not think the reason that certain religions prohibit sex out of wedlock is because they want to exercise control over people. I think the reason is because God does not think it is beneficial for people to have sex out of wedlock, either individually or as a society.

I have respect for atheists or other nonreligious people who have sex out of wedlock, since they have no reason not to have sex. What I do not have respect for are people who have a religion that prohibits sex out of wedlock yet have sex anyway. I think Jesus would call them hypocrites.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

You are correct. Sex is a very powerful human drive that is built into our nature, and probably more-so for men.

I do not think the reason that certain religions prohibit sex out of wedlock is because they want to exercise control over people. I think the reason is because God does not think it is beneficial for people to have sex out of wedlock, either individually or as a society.

I have respect for atheists or other nonreligious people who have sex out of wedlock, since they have no reason not to have sex. What I do not have respect for are people who have a religion that prohibits sex out of wedlock yet have sex anyway. I think Jesus would call them hypocrites.

Then I put it to you that it is not sensible that God would have given us such an overwhelming drive. Moose only desire to have sex during a short period in the fall, during the rut (I'll spare you the nasties about how they go about -- too much urine and such). Female cats will only permit sex when they are in heat, and so many other animals only when they are "in season." Chimpanzes, and ever more so bonobos, which are closely related to us, have all kinds of sex, quite a bit of it homosexual. They seem to use it quite sociably, and to develop relationships within the tribe. Do you suppose that God is miffed at all this casual sex, or is it more likely that it is perfectly natural? And therefore, as Spinoza would have seen it, the will of God/Nature.

In other words, the human propensity for lots of sex (especially when young), and for "serial monogamy" (which helps with rearing children for a considerable time) are built into our human nature. If you believe God is responsible for our human nature, why don't you think that's what God wanted?

 

[Trailblazer]

Then I put it to you that it is not sensible that God would have given us such an overwhelming drive. Moose only desire to have sex during a short period in the fall, during the rut (I'll spare you the nasties about how they go about -- too much urine and such). Female cats will only permit sex when they are in heat, and so many other animals only when they are "in season." Chimpanzes, and ever more so bonobos, which are closely related to us, have all kinds of sex, quite a bit of it homosexual. They seem to use it quite sociably, and to develop relationships within the tribe. Do you suppose that God is miffed at all this casual sex, or is it more likely that it is perfectly natural? And therefore, as Spinoza would have seen it, the will of God/Nature.

In other words, the human propensity for lots of sex (especially when young), and for "serial monogamy" (which helps with rearing children for a considerable time) are built into our human nature. If you believe God is responsible for our human nature, why don't you think that's what God wanted?

I believe that God has given humans two natures, a material nature and a spiritual nature, and God wants us to balance these two natures and not allow our material nature to override our spiritual nature. Just because humans have the propensity for lots of sex that does not mean they have to have lots of sex. Our sexual desires can be curtailed, just like our desire to eat too much can be curtailed.

Many years ago, a Baha'i who was the owner of a Baha'i forum posted a post about sex which I saved and he gave me permission to re-post it. I really like how he explained it so I have posted it many times. Below is an excerpt from his longer post.

Sex is “part” of who we are but it is not who we are. Sex is primarily about reproduction. That's why it even exists in the first place. It's a biological mechanism. Its role in relationships in some species is a secondary role, not the primary one, which evolved much later. Those who want to divorce sex completely from its primary role are in a very real sense attempting to force it to conform to their own selfish desires and that is against our spiritual nature.​

​

Our spiritual nature cannot be developed except by dying to self and living for God. God has given us a dual nature, one material and one spiritual. Sex is part of the material nature, however much it may be able to play a role in a truly loving relationship. It is not what we are, even though people insist that it is.​

​

God is calling us to struggle against our lower nature and to become who we truly are, spiritual beings who are in control of the physical side of our nature and who can thus find true happiness living in conformity with His will. That might not be easy for most people, but if it were too easy, it wouldn't be worth anything. Only by being challenged can we really prove our love for God.​

 

[IndigoChild5559]

What do different religions teach about casual sex? By casual sex I mean sex just for fun, sex without love, and sex outside or marriage.

My religion, the Baha’i Faith, teaches that sex is only allowed between two lawfully married people, a man and a woman.

As I understand it, the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication. Why then do so many Christians have sex out of wedlock?

I know what Christianity teaches but I do not know what Judaism and Islam teach, but I would like to know. I would also like to know what other religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism teach.

One reason why I want to know what I am asking is because I have been on many dating sites and almost all men who I meet want women who will have casual sex and sex out of wedlock. That is one reason I will never find a man, because I will never compromise my principles, but I am no longer unhappy about not finding a man since I have ceased to care.

Most men I meet self-identify as Christians yet they do not adhere to what the Bible says.
I cannot respect these men. They don’t have to have sex, they just want to have sex.

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? | GotQuestions.org

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? How far is too far for an unmarried couple to go physically? Is kissing / cuddling / making out / foreplay allowed before marriage?

www.gotquestions.org

A relationship is about more than sex but you’d never know it since all these men talk about is sex. I have no interest in any man who considers sex more important than God or anything else that two people enter into a relationship for. Moreover, I cannot understand why men in their late 60s and 70s are still so focused on sex, as if there is nothing else that matters.

Of course, everything I said could apply to women as well as men, but since I do not see what women post on dating sites, I don't know what they say to men.

Two Jews, three opinions. The teachings on sex will vary depending on which movement of Judaism. Generally speaking, the Orthodox teach that any sex not between a husband and wife is illicit. Go to the reform, and they celebrate LGBT etc.

My own morality is very traditional. Because I'm divorced I do not have sex. I got fed up with the constant pressure from the men I dated, so I just stopped dating. I wish I had the companionship of a marriage, but it is just not worth this hassle.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

As I understand it, the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication. Why then do so many Christians have sex out of wedlock?

It does? I must have missed that passage.

I don't think this is something that the Bible takes an explicit, clear position on.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I do not think the reason that certain religions prohibit sex out of wedlock is because they want to exercise control over people. I think the reason is because God does not think it is beneficial for people to have sex out of wedlock, either individually or as a society.

I think the opposite is clearly true: that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial. It cheapens both sex and marriage.

It cheapens marriage by incentivizing horny teenagers to marry just to get laid, and it cheapens sex by implying that sexual compatibility isn't important enough to explore before making a lifelong commitment to your partner.

It's an archaic holdover from the days when women were seen as property and marriage was a breeding arrangement based on a transaction between a woman's father and her new husband.

 

[sun rise]

Meher Baba indicated how to approach sex for spiritual aspirants. Actions create impressions, sanskaras, that persist and can be obstacles. Actions also create karma that has to be worked off sooner or later. If someone looks at others in terms of sexual satisfaction then it tends to narrow someone's view and make it harder to have a truly loving relationship with someone because the mind automatically thinks in terms of sex.

Allan Y. Cohen: The Problem Of Sex According To Meher Baba has detail.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

As I understand it, the New Testament prohibits sex outside or marriage and refers to it as fornication. Why then do so many Christians have sex out of wedlock?

Because people today have no respect for authority. Christians feel perfectly free to pick and choose whatever they want about their religion. They are their own popes.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Because people today have no respect for authority. Christians feel perfectly free to pick and choose whatever they want about their religion. They are their own popes.

That's basically the core tenet of Protestantism: no intermediaries between the believer and Christ.

 

[Trailblazer]

My own morality is very traditional. Because I'm divorced I do not have sex.

I have only had sex with one man, my late husband. I will never have sex out of wedlock but I do not even desire sex in wedlock, so that presents a problem if I ever want to remarry. I might have sex to please a man, but I would have to really love him, and I would not marry him unless I did.

I got fed up with the constant pressure from the men I dated, so I just stopped dating. I wish I had the companionship of a marriage, but it is just not worth this hassle.

I never dated, before or after my husband passed on. I get tired of men on dating sites wanting sex and I make it perfectly clear I do not have sex out of wedlock, if the subject comes up. That gets rid of 90% or the men and my cats get rid of the other 10%.

Sometimes I wish I had the companionship of marriage, but it is just not worth this hassle.

 

[sun rise]

That's basically the core tenet of Protestantism: no intermediaries between the believer and Christ.

That's also true in Islam where there is formally no priesthood.

 

[Trailblazer]

I think the opposite is clearly true: that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial. It cheapens both sex and marriage.

I think that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial. Having sex out of wedlock cheapens sex and marriage.

 

[IndigoChild5559]

I think that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial. Having sex out of wedlock cheapens sex and marriage.

"People who wait for sex until they are married are THREE times more likely to have higher stability in their relationship, study claims." Being abstentionist can ensure marriage stability, study claims

 

[Trailblazer]

It does? I must have missed that passage.

I don't think this is something that the Bible takes an explicit, clear position on.

Passages such as Ephesians 5:3 give clear guidance concerning physical intimacy outside of marriage: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity . . . because these are improper for God’s holy people.” This command places the “guard rails” along a fairly strict path—not even a “hint” of immorality should be found among God’s people.

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? | GotQuestions.org

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? How far is too far for an unmarried couple to go physically? Is kissing / cuddling / making out / foreplay allowed before marriage?

www.gotquestions.org

 

[LuisDantas]

Specific schools and even teachers will have varying interpretations of the specifics, but sexual behavior falls under the scope of Correct Action of the Noble Eightfold Path in Buddhism.

What that means in practice, given the wider set of teachings, is that there are no forbiden actions as such, but there is a lot of encouragement to take the consequences of what is done into account and to strive to nurture the wisdom necessary to avoid harm and to create positive relationships.

That includes emotional harm. Sex, as correctly pointed out above, is just part of a relationship. It is possible to hurt others by engaging in abusive or inappropriate sexual behavior.

Again, the specifics can and will vary, and it is probably way better to ask people to try and be sincere and reflective than to attempt to present magical rules that would presumably ensure virtue.

 

[Trailblazer]

Specific schools and even teachers will have varying interpretations of the specifics, but sexual behavior falls under the scope of Correct Action of the Noble Eightfold Path in Buddhism.

What that means in practice, given the wider set of teachings, is that there are no forbiden actions as such, but there is a lot of encouragement to take the consequences of what is done into account and to strive to nurture the wisdom necessary to avoid harm and to create positive relationships.

That includes emotional harm. Sex, as correctly pointed out above, is just part of a relationship. It is possible to hurt others by engaging in abusive or inappropriate sexual behavior.

Again, the specifics can and will vary, and it is probably way better to ask people to try and be sincere and reflective than to attempt to present magical rules that would presumably ensure virtue.

I love Buddhism.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I think that waiting until marriage to have sex is beneficial.

Having tried both ways, I can say that my experience is that this isn't true.

Having sex out of wedlock cheapens sex and marriage.

How so?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Passages such as Ephesians 5:3 give clear guidance concerning physical intimacy outside of marriage: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity . . . because these are improper for God’s holy people.” This command places the “guard rails” along a fairly strict path—not even a “hint” of immorality should be found among God’s people.

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? | GotQuestions.org

What is an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage? How far is too far for an unmarried couple to go physically? Is kissing / cuddling / making out / foreplay allowed before marriage?

www.gotquestions.org

Unless the Bible clearly says that "sexual immorality" includes sex outside of marriage, I'd say you're just inserting your own biases into the text.