Weird Verses

[Aasimar]

I just figured I'd throw this to see if anyone else ever has this. There are times when I come across a passage in a religious book, bible, koran, whatever, that is just plain weird. Either kinda gross, oddly phrased, whatever. Not necessarily evil themed or attacking the religion itself, just.... odd.

For example:

Ezekiel 23:19-20

Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

.... Like I don't even know how to take that verse.

Anyone else know any really odd versus? Any religious book is fair game, this isn't intended to be a debate thread.

 

[ChristineES]

You could read Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs, as they don't believe any longer that it was written by Solomon). There are some who say that this book is not inspired and should not even be a part of the bible.

Here are a couple of examples:

Son 7:1 How beautiful are thy feet in sandals, O prince's daughter! Thy rounded thighs are like jewels, The work of the hands of a skilful workman.
Son 7:2 Thy body is like a round goblet, Wherein no mingled wine is wanting: Thy waist is like a heap of wheat Set about with lilies.
Son 7:3 Thy two breasts are like two fawns That are twins of a roe.

 

[Smoke]

Malachi 2.3: Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.

Genesis 31.33-34: Now Rachel had taken the images, and put them in the camel's furniture, and sat upon them. And Laban searched all the tent, but found them not. And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women is upon me. And he searched but found not the images.

Judge 9.52-54: And Abimelech came unto the tower, and fought against it, and went hard unto the door of the tower to burn it with fire. And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech's head, and all to break his skull. Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A woman slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died.

Proverbs 20.30: The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Anyone else know any really odd versus? Any religious book is fair game, this isn't intended to be a debate thread.

Funny that you mention Ezekiel 23.19-20. See my discussion Bible T-Shirt

 

[angellous_evangellous]

.... Like I don't even know how to take that verse.

Hyperbole - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

1 Timothy 1:20 has always struck me as odd (given with verses 18 & 19 for context - emphasis mine):

18Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, 19holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith. 20Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

1 Timothy 1:20 has always struck me as odd (given with verses 18 & 19 for context - emphasis mine):

That has a parallel in 1 Cor 5.

1It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife. 2And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? 3Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. 4When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature[a] may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

 

[Flamingsword]

All these SCRIPTURES HAVE DEEP MEANING TO THOSE WHO (have ears that hear & eyes that see)
Live by everyword that proceeds out of the mouth of GOD! ALL of them!

 

[Breathe]

Woo! Resurrected thread!

Song of Solomon 2:3 strikes me as dodgy.
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.


(emphasis added for what I perceive as extra-dodgy-ness)

 

[Delilah Roo]

Wow, that is, um... Odd.

The next time I hear people quoting from the bible, I am whiping that one out!
--Delilah

 

[tumbleweed41]

Isaiah 36:12 But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own ****(pee) with you?

 

[RevKen]

Whatever creature we dote upon we make an idol of, and what we make an idol of, we defile ourselves with. Forgetfulness of God is at the bottom of all such adulterous departures from Him.
If men will not part with their spiritual whoredoms, they must bear the consequences of them.

Ken

 

[RevKen]

hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall; and therefore it is proper to speak in a language which they understand, and to let them know that if they will not surrender up the city, but will attempt to hold out a siege, they must expect
that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own **** with you? suggesting that they must expect a close siege, which would not be broke up until the city was taken; the consequence of which would be such a famine, that they would be reduced to such extremities. The Jews have substituted other words in the margin, instead of those in the text, as more cleanly, and less offensive; for "dung" they put "excrement", and for "****" they read "the waters of the feet"; and had we in our version put excrement and urine instead of these words, it would have been more decent.

Ken

 

[Gaura Priya]

Woo! Resurrected thread!

Song of Solomon 2:3 strikes me as dodgy.
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.


(emphasis added for what I perceive as extra-dodgy-ness)

"This thy stature is like to a palm-tree,
And thy breasts to its clusters. I said,
I will climb up into the palm-tree,
I will take hold of the branches thereof:
Let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy breath like apples,
And thy mouth like the best wine,
That goeth down smoothly for my beloved,
Gliding through the lips of those that are asleep."
-- Song of Songs 7:7-9

So... a guy getting to hold some boobies and french kissing... :drool:


"And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his apparel, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle."

-- 1 Samuel 18:1-4

*cough* gay porn *cough*


"And a certain young man followed with him, having a linen cloth cast about him, over his naked body: and they lay hold on him; but he left the linen cloth, and fled naked."

-- Mark 14:51-52

Streaaaaker!!


Lovely to grow up with the Bible.

 

[Rakhel]

I don't know why you guys are just picking pieces of Songs, when the entire book is nothing but erotic poetry that can be compared to some porn. I mean, if you want to know where the first porn came from, look at the Hebrews.

Our claim to fame, the first perverts.

 

[Gaura Priya]

I don't know why you guys are just picking pieces of Songs, when the entire book is nothing but erotic poetry that can be compared to some porn. I mean, if you want to know where the first porn came from, look at the Hebrews.

Our claim to fame, the first perverts.

There must be something about that circumcision!!

 

[Rakhel]

There must be something about that circumcision!!

LOL reminds me of the movie "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." One of the final scenes had Mel Brooks, playing the Mohel, in a tent that had a sign on the front curtain that said, "Circumcision- Half off"

I laughed so hard. My husband still uses that when the subject of penises come up

 

[Gaura Priya]

LOL reminds me of the movie "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." One of the final scenes had Mel Brooks, playing the Mohel, in a tent that had a sign on the front curtain that said, "Circumcision- Half off"

I laughed so hard. My husband still uses that when the subject of penises come up

That's so funny!


I never liked how the old translations always had 'bowels' instead of heart. For instance, in the Book of Mormon:


"I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy."

-- 3 Nephi 17:7

Wow... bowels of compassion. I am sure third-world country people must be laughing at such a literal translation.

 

[Rakhel]

Bowels of compassion? Wow. I am not to sure I want to feel Bowels of compassion for someone. Sounds like a "gas" to me

 

[URAVIP2ME]

I just figured I'd throw this to see if anyone else ever has this. There are times when I come across a passage in a religious book, bible, koran, whatever, that is just plain weird. Either kinda gross, oddly phrased, whatever. Not necessarily evil themed or attacking the religion itself, just.... odd.
For example:

Ezekiel 23:19,20

.... Like I don't even know how to take that verse.
Anyone else know any really odd versus? Any religious book is fair game, this isn't intended to be a debate thread.

Compare Ezekiel 23vs19,20 with 16v26.

When Jehoiakim and Zedekiah ruled as tributary kings to Babylon, Aholibah or Oholibah [symbolized the kingdom of Judah] courted the political favor of the Babylonian world power [Ez 23vs11-16] She carried on spiritual prostitution to an extreme degree even more than her sister.
This was considered 'international intercourse' during the reign of both kings. Then Oholibah tired of the domination of Babylon [vs17]. She prostituted herself in Egypt meaning she began looking southward to Egypt, not God, for military aid to support her rebellion [vs19].

Oholibah course, like her sister, was bound for calamity. God was disgusted with the king of Judah, meaning God would abandon her into the hands of her lovers [vs18-23] She was so wicked that God could speak of her former lover 'Babylon' as being righteous. They would be righteous, in a relative sense, in that God would use them to execute God's righteous judgment [vs43-49] .