Victem or unclean thats my question

[nonreligiouschristian]

Between the ages of 12 and16 I was sexualy molested by a member of my
foster family.
when I finaly got the courage to tell, thinking that I would be protected
and the molester would be punished, I got a very distastful experience.

First my foster parents(good christian folk) became angry with me due
to the fact that I told someone else instead of them.

They even accused me of likeing it and wanting it.

then things got worse, not only did the CYS not persue the molester
because he claimed to be geting help on his own, but the church we
attended decided that the Bible says that I was now unclean and was
no longer worthy to take communion, be in the quire, be an usher, or
colect the offering. I was no longer worthy to do anything but sit there
every week and feel shame and disgrace because I was now concidered
unclean.

I was striped not only of every service I had performed in the church, I
was striped of all dignity and left the faith I loved so much because of
these actions.

My question. where did GOD ever say that victims of sexual crimes should
be punnished and were no longer worthy of his love and communion with
him.

Why do christians feel that the GOD that I love would want them to cause
a victim more pain and suffering than what they have already endured.

If their god is that kind of god, he is not the same GOD i serve and have
learned to love again after so many years.

I have forgiven the one that molested me, I have learned that my GOD
does not and did not condone those christians actions, but I find it hard
to this day to forgive those christians.

I would like some thoughts on this so that maybe I can finaly forgive them
and go on with my life as I know if I dont forgive I can not be forgiven.

Thank you all for any comments .:help:

 

[Father Heathen]

If there was a just god he would've burnt that church to the ground, along with the foster family and molester inside of it.

 

[Nerthus]

I believe that whoever has done wrong like that in their lives - they will be be judged accordingly. It might not be instantly like we would wish, but He will call judgement on all of us.The Book of Habakkuk shoes this very well, and always reminds me in God is in control.

 

[sojourner]

Between the ages of 12 and16 I was sexualy molested by a member of my
foster family.
when I finaly got the courage to tell, thinking that I would be protected
and the molester would be punished, I got a very distastful experience.

First my foster parents(good christian folk) became angry with me due
to the fact that I told someone else instead of them.

They even accused me of likeing it and wanting it.

then things got worse, not only did the CYS not persue the molester
because he claimed to be geting help on his own, but the church we
attended decided that the Bible says that I was now unclean and was
no longer worthy to take communion, be in the quire, be an usher, or
colect the offering. I was no longer worthy to do anything but sit there
every week and feel shame and disgrace because I was now concidered
unclean.

I was striped not only of every service I had performed in the church, I
was striped of all dignity and left the faith I loved so much because of
these actions.

My question. where did GOD ever say that victims of sexual crimes should
be punnished and were no longer worthy of his love and communion with
him.

Why do christians feel that the GOD that I love would want them to cause
a victim more pain and suffering than what they have already endured.

If their god is that kind of god, he is not the same GOD i serve and have
learned to love again after so many years.

I have forgiven the one that molested me, I have learned that my GOD
does not and did not condone those christians actions, but I find it hard
to this day to forgive those christians.

I would like some thoughts on this so that maybe I can finaly forgive them
and go on with my life as I know if I dont forgive I can not be forgiven.

Thank you all for any comments .:help:

Shake the dust off and move on. You already are forgiven. Don't you think God knows how difficult forgiveness is -- especially for a crime like that? Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It may take your whole life -- but definitely will take as long as the wounds take to heal.

 

[Rakhel]

Twisted misunderstanding of scripture.

It follows the same logic as the accusations thrown at a family that just lost a baby either through death or miscarriage. "What did you do to make G-d mad at you?"

The mind set of people like that is because you "waited" so long to tell anybody, you must of liked it. If you liked it you must be homosexual. If you are homosexual, then you are no longer worthy of G-d's love. Or you did something to make G-d mad and that was his way of punishing you.

I don't really have any advice. You have already figured out were people like stand and know how to arm yourself against them.

 

[Levite]

Between the ages of 12 and16 I was sexualy molested by a member of my
foster family.
when I finaly got the courage to tell, thinking that I would be protected
and the molester would be punished, I got a very distastful experience.

First my foster parents(good christian folk) became angry with me due
to the fact that I told someone else instead of them.

They even accused me of likeing it and wanting it.

then things got worse, not only did the CYS not persue the molester
because he claimed to be geting help on his own, but the church we
attended decided that the Bible says that I was now unclean and was
no longer worthy to take communion, be in the quire, be an usher, or
colect the offering. I was no longer worthy to do anything but sit there
every week and feel shame and disgrace because I was now concidered
unclean.

....

First of all, I am so sorry this happened to you! It was not your fault, and you didn't deserve it-- not any of it.

I don't know what odd doctrines your Church was invoking to do this to you-- personally I have always found it hard to understand Christian theological choices.

But I can tell you that, at least as I understand the Hebrew Scriptures as a rabbi, God does not blame victims. Under Jewish law, victims of rape are not held to be "unclean" (and, BTW, such a status is only relevant at a time when the Temple is standing, anyway, because all it means is that one cannot ascend the Temple mount in Jerusalem, which is supposed to be kept in a state of ritual purity-- which it isn't anymore, not since the destruction of the Temple in 70 CE), nor are they considered transgressors in any way: actions that one is compelled to do against one's will, by the force of another person, are not considered to be transgressive, because if one had had choice, one would not have done those actions.

I personally do not for a moment think that God considers you unclean or sinful or anything like that. I personally believe that God loves you, and has compassion for your suffering, and will send you strength if you ask for it.

I also personally cannot comprehend how or why your Church could be so blindly callous and hideously uncompassionate to you. That doesn't sound at all like good religion to me, and it sure doesn't sound like anything in my admittedly limited understanding of the teachings of a Jewish carpenter who taught that selfless love and forgiveness and compassion for the suffering were the pinnacle of holiness.

 

[nonreligiouschristian]

If there was a just god he would've burnt that church to the ground, along with the foster family and molester inside of it.

I understand your sentiment, I felt the same way for many many years.
Because of that I became a very angry bitter adult, which in turn caused me more
troubles.

As much as I dislike organized christianity, I dont think burning the church or the
molester would bring about anything positive, it would just keep the pain and
resentment flowing.

I want the pain to stop.

I do apprecieate your answer though, it shows me for once that there are
actualy people out there who would not turn their back on such things even if
I dont quite agree with their methods.

 

[nonreligiouschristian]

Shake the dust off and move on. You already are forgiven. Don't you think God knows how difficult forgiveness is -- especially for a crime like that? Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It may take your whole life -- but definitely will take as long as the wounds take to heal.

I do agree, No one knows more of how difficult forgiveness is than GOD, After all
he has to forgive us for us to be saved.(I could not forgive someone who
killed my son)

But for some one to move on they must first forgive in order to rid them self
of the hatred and resentment and anger.

If they dont rid them selvs of those things through forgivness then those
things will keep eating away at them till they destroy them.

I forgave the molester, but after 33 years I still cant think about or remember
what the church and my foster parents done without feeling hate and anger.

This makes it very dificult if not impossible to forgive them and I do not want
to die with hatred in my heart, not even against them.

I think levite gave me a little clue with his answer of what it is that they
took out of context, that helps me understand a little where their coming from,
but I still need to forgive them in order to move on, To do that I need to stop this
hate and anger that just wont let go.

How do I do that.

 

[Rakhel]

only you can answer that. I know, I know, cryptic as hell. But it is the only answer

 

[nonreligiouschristian]

(and, BTW, such a status is only relevant at a time when the Temple is standing, anyway, because all it means is that one cannot ascend the Temple mount in Jerusalem, which is supposed to be kept in a state of ritual purity-- which it isn't anymore, not since the destruction of the Temple in 70 CE)

This is one of the things I am sure they were taking out of context, but there was
also somthing about the un clean not being permitted to partake of jesus body and blood or communion as its called in religious christian circles.

Does any one know of any scripture that sounds similer to that that might have
been taken out of context.

If I can just gain some understanding of which scripture they were trying to
follow maybe I can finaly rid myself of this and move on as sojourner suggested
once I forgive them.

I am hopeing that if I can get a grasp on their reasoning I can stop the hate
and anger.

 

[nonreligiouschristian]

only you can answer that. I know, I know, cryptic as hell. But it is the only answer

thats ok, I like cryptic, It keeps my mind working.

When my mind is forced to work more it dosnt seem to allow the anger and
hatred through as much.

 

[Rakhel]

the only thing I can find that might have been used is

Leviticus 7:20-22 (New International Version)

20 But if anyone who is unclean eats any meat of the fellowship offering belonging to the LORD, that person must be cut off from his people. 21 If anyone touches something unclean—whether human uncleanness or an unclean animal or any unclean, detestable thing—and then eats any of the meat of the fellowship offering belonging to the LORD, that person must be cut off from his people.' "

Hope it helps

 

[Father Heathen]

I understand your sentiment, I felt the same way for many many years.
Because of that I became a very angry bitter adult, which in turn caused me more
troubles.

As much as I dislike organized christianity, I dont think burning the church or the
molester would bring about anything positive, it would just keep the pain and
resentment flowing.

I want the pain to stop.

I do apprecieate your answer though, it shows me for once that there are
actualy people out there who would not turn their back on such things even if
I dont quite agree with their methods.

Thank you. Best wishes to you.

 

[nonreligiouschristian]

rakhel
Believe it or not, That helps tremendously.
That is almost word for word what they said to me.
For the first time in too many years I can sort of
grasp where they come from with their actions.

I still think they were wrong and totaly off track
but now I have somthing to use to try to put away
these horid bad feelings and start the process of
forgivness.

Thank you all who answered this thread, you have
each one in your own way helped more than you
know.

 

[Rakhel]

As I said, "twisted misunderstanding of scripture."

 

[sojourner]

I do agree, No one knows more of how difficult forgiveness is than GOD, After all
he has to forgive us for us to be saved.(I could not forgive someone who
killed my son)

But for some one to move on they must first forgive in order to rid them self
of the hatred and resentment and anger.

If they dont rid them selvs of those things through forgivness then those
things will keep eating away at them till they destroy them.

I forgave the molester, but after 33 years I still cant think about or remember
what the church and my foster parents done without feeling hate and anger.

This makes it very dificult if not impossible to forgive them and I do not want
to die with hatred in my heart, not even against them.

I think levite gave me a little clue with his answer of what it is that they
took out of context, that helps me understand a little where their coming from,
but I still need to forgive them in order to move on, To do that I need to stop this
hate and anger that just wont let go.

How do I do that.

I don't want to sound like the armchair therapist. I'm not certified, but as a minister with standing, I do have some experience.

Sounds to me like you have planted your cross and now you're hung on it. Jesus said to take up your cross and follow. One can only be crucified if the cross is planted. Doesn't mean that the pain and anger will magically go away, but when the cross is taken up, then you can take the journey with God toward healing.

 

[Revoltingest]

If there was a just god he would've burnt that church to the ground, along with the foster family and molester inside of it.

That's awful! He would've just given them some painful & debilitating crotch cancer.
(No need to ruin some real estate & cause air pollution.)

 

[dmgdnooc]

nonreligiouschristian, with only the bare outline of the events you describe, I give to you the advice I have taken myself.
　
God recognises the difference between what we have done and what has been done to us. Hold no blame in yourself for this.
　
As for the perpetrator of the crime against you, get out of his way, don't interrupt or impede his journey straight to hell.
　
Pray for his other victims, there will be many.
　
If he knew what he did and they, in knowledge, supported him; then don't forgive, don't forget, maintain your anger against the mongrel sob and his condemning pack.
Be angry, but sin not, remembering that there is no forgiveness for the unrepentant, and that you can't give what has not been asked.
　
Forgiveness is, I think, the most difficult and most precious of all the things required of a Christian, I won't cheapen it by giving it, unasked, to the unrepentant.
　

 

[sojourner]

nonreligiouschristian, with only the bare outline of the events you describe, I give to you the advice I have taken myself.
　
God recognises the difference between what we have done and what has been done to us. Hold no blame in yourself for this.
　
As for the perpetrator of the crime against you, get out of his way, don't interrupt or impede his journey straight to hell.
　
Pray for his other victims, there will be many.
　
If he knew what he did and they, in knowledge, supported him; then don't forgive, don't forget, maintain your anger against the mongrel sob and his condemning pack.
Be angry, but sin not, remembering that there is no forgiveness for the unrepentant, and that you can't give what has not been asked.
　
Forgiveness is, I think, the most difficult and most precious of all the things required of a Christian, I won't cheapen it by giving it, unasked, to the unrepentant.
　

Except that Jesus told us to forgive "70 times 7," and to "love our enemies; pray for them that persecute you."

 

[dmgdnooc]

Except that Jesus told us to forgive "70 times 7," and to "love our enemies; pray for them that persecute you."

　
From Luke 17.3 and .4
If he repent, forgive him.
If he turn again unto thee saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
　
I think you will find that there is no forgiveness for the unrepentant.
Maybe you can show me where an unrepentant is forgiven. Pls do.
　
As to praying for the sob, I didn't mention that but yes he should be prayed for.
My sob is long dead, so it is not in my mind on this subject, but you are right; if he lives then pray for the sob.