King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
When it comes to “feeling” like a woman or man how much should one’s looks play a part? I would hope none. I mean their just looks right?
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Vanity?
- Thread starter King Phenomenon
- Start date
I too would hope none, unfortunately media pushes good looks and people feed off media.
I think that would be up to the individual. For some women, the daily beauty rituals are very much part of their femininity. For others, they couldn't care less about that, but still feel very much a woman. (Or, visa versa, though the 'masculine' beauty rituals are typically different than the feminine ones.)
I look like a woman. I am undeniably shaped like a woman, I wear women's clothing, and I wear make up. I don't feel much like one. I feel like a goofy old man. It used to be upsetting, but now I think its funny. Often, people who can see me are often confused when they make conversation with me and the personality and appearance don't match. Alternatively, people online have often said upon seeing me "that wasn't what I expected".
King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
Talkin bout looks not rituals
I would still maintain that it would be up to the individual, for about the same reasons.
King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
So you think it’s ok for looks to define feelings. Gotcha
Koldo
Outstanding Member
The concept of feeling like a man (or woman) is quite alien to my way of thinking and feeling. There is absolutely no qualia attached to it as far as I am concerned. I consider myself a man strictly because of what I look like.
King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
Is feeling human alien to you as well?
It doesn't matter what I think is okay or not. I'm just stating that for some, there does seem to be that connection.
King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
I wasn’t asking people about other peoples views
You asked 'should'.
Who am I to tell other people what they 'should' do or how they 'should' feel? Even if I think its silly or ridiculous, its not my call to make.
King Phenomenon
Well-Known Member
Ok so you have no opinion. Gotcha
I try not to have too many.
I don't "feel" like a man or a woman. I call myself a man because when I look in the mirror, that's what reflected back at me. That's the mask I currently wear.
Beyond the biology, I don't identify with any gender, nor do I wish to limit myself by doing so.
Koldo
Outstanding Member
Although not conclusively proven apparently, there are indications as to such having some impact as to how one might be perceived, for example:
Beauty Goes Down to the Core: Attractiveness Biases Moral Character Attributions - Journal of Nonverbal Behavior
Physical attractiveness is a heuristic that is often used as an indicator of desirable traits. In two studies (N = 1254), we tested whether facial attractiveness leads to a selective bias in attributing moral character—which is paramount in person perception—over non-moral traits. We argue that...
I wonder if a bit of that is we tend to think people who have some factors we find attractive(like physical features) must have other traits we find attractive. I suspect its subconscious.Although not conclusively proven apparently, there are indications as to such having some impact as to how one might be perceived, for example:
Beauty Goes Down to the Core: Attractiveness Biases Moral Character Attributions - Journal of Nonverbal Behavior
Physical attractiveness is a heuristic that is often used as an indicator of desirable traits. In two studies (N = 1254), we tested whether facial attractiveness leads to a selective bias in attributing moral character—which is paramount in person perception—over non-moral traits. We argue that...link.springer.com
When I first got married(the marriage was sudden, with very little 'getting to know you' phase about one another's lives), my husband kept insisting that my son's father must be a nice guy because of the car he drove. We(my roommate and I) kept telling him he had abusive tendencies, and to watch out. Upon dropping my son off after taking him somewhere, he proceeded to chew me out for some perceived slight and made me cry(which is not an easy task). My husband remarked "that guy's a real *******!" Well, that's what we were trying to tell you, but you couldn't get over the car...
I suspect its like that with beauty, too. "She's beautiful, so she must be kind and thoughtful, too." "He's handsome, therefor he must be strong and respectful". Not things people think word per word, but people make all kinds of assumptions for the good and bad off of appearance.
Perhaps it is because the attraction often blinds us to things we might not find attractive, but will perhaps ignore since the animal attraction - and that beauty seems to imply health too apparently (not necessarily true though) - might be the dominant factor.
Two books I found quite useful, even if they argue different viewpoints were - Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (1999) by Nancy Etcoff - a psychologist argues that our concept of beauty is in our biology rather than being a construct, and The Beauty Myth (1990) by Naomi Wolf - a feminist proposes that societal pressures have much to do with our concept of beauty. I tend towards the former view but of course with no special knowledge as to such.