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Theory about dating

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by AT-AT, Oct 22, 2019.

  1. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    I fathom that part of the problem I'm seeing in straight people dating and such advances, is this:

    The women feel the need to act feminine to get the men. A stereotype that doesn't always work.

    The men feel the need to act masculine to get the women. A stereotype that doesn't always work.

    The two sides tend to end up not understanding each other in the process as they're both role-playing complete opposites.
     
  2. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    Funny how we do we do funny things like that, isn't it? Gender and (especially) gender expression are rather novelty ideas of themselves that really don't suit a basis of "strict need" in approaching evolution. But we find all over, universally in humans, and even into other non-ape species. And we humans really play it up. But, ultimately, we didn't evolve to be creatures of pure logic and reason, either. And I'm not sure if any animal has. But, we're humans, we're weird, we love our rituals, we love our acts, and perhaps we have taken coupling/mating to a "soft primal" level where we still reflect basic sexual behaviors of most, if not all, sexually reproducing species, but brought it into a far more controlled and structured environment.
     
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  3. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    Human mating behavior is easily comparable to that which is pretty universal in the animal kingdom or bird kingdom, in one way or another
     
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  4. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    What's interesting, and fascinating, as what we know and recognize as pairing as a choice in love isn't something that's a norm throughout human society. Other animals do it for grand displays, exuberant colors, displays of strength and power, but humans have done it for property, alliances, and arranged it long before an individual was physically matured. We have had rules dictating we do this but not that, that we have to select mates from this group and never that group, and as far as I know the only species to voluntarily end fertility. Of course we have some things very common, such as male/female behaviors and displays when attracting a mate, but I'm not sure if our sexual and mating behaviors are really that easily comparable to other animals. We do appear unique and highly unusual in this regard.
     
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  5. Deidre

    Deidre Boo!

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    I got married a couple of years ago, but when I was dating, I'd say the best thing for people to do is just be themselves. Don't try so hard, and don't ever try to be something you're not. Because in the end, you want someone to fall in love with who you really are, not a character you're pretending to be.
     
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  6. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    I don't think men and women "act masculine" or "act feminine" to attract the opposite sex. I think they do it to impress their own gender. It's it's about establishing social hierarchy, and then it's the social status that attracts the opposite sex.
     
  7. oldbadger

    oldbadger Skanky Old Mongrel!

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    Hi.....
    I think it is more basic than that.

    The fundamental basic is that in the past women have needed a home and security for offspring. Men have needed to show that they can provide this. Despite new gender initiatives this basic is still strong.

    A very very rich man can tend to attract a partner for his reason. A young man might show that he can provide by having a big car and by looking strong.

    But this effect works on strange ways...... Over here many women are crazy about a particularly unkempt, filthy long haired guy with a dirty bitsa motorbike. Darren on 'walking dead' films, because he can provide security and whatever .... :D. My wife would drag him under the bed! :D

    So think about basic humanities and you could get luckier, who knows....?
     
  8. Mock Turtle

    Mock Turtle Compassion, understanding, and tolerance.
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    Or .. both are, for the majority, just acting out their biology, and hence will be attracted to the opposite sex for their own reasons. Which could be that females are looking for security - in the form of strength, power, and wealth in a male - and males are looking for beauty and youth in females - for sexual reasons, and perhaps to pass on their genes as best they can.

    Why would we think that one sex could ever understand the other that well when they are essentially quite different?
     
  9. wellwisher

    wellwisher Active Member

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    Male and female brains are wired differently. Men tend to be more visual and use their brains more front to back and back to front; frontal lobe and visual cortex. Females tend to be more verbal, and use their brains more left to right and right to left; temporal lobes.

    In dating, women pander to the male's visual strength, through enhanced beauty and makeup; visual beauty and fantasy. While men pander to the female strength through a line of bull; social strength and verbal fantasy. Pandering to strengths is part of the natural selective process.

    If you look at a man and a women, from a view at the top of their heads, the differences in brain processing, is like the two legs of a cross. The male is North to South, and the female East to West.

    What falling in love does is activate cross programming dynamics in the personality firmware, which are designed to create virtual male and female components within the opposite sex, so both can have the full brain cross.

    A man and women who have become successfully cross programmed will be able to run on all cylinders, with the team more than the sum of its parts. They become an amalgam of each other, with this providing the virtual leg of the cross for each other. The virtual cross, by being more software than firmware is fluid and temporal; romance and connected to culture. The firmware cross is natural and timeless.

    Homosexuality and transgender can go through the motions, but the brain cannot fully engage the natural cross programming dynamics. You need two opposite legs of the cross to engage the natural cross programing in both. These orientations are more based on willpower and choice, which abort the natural cross programming, since the alignment is not conducive.

    A pseudo cross programming can happen, but it is more based on virtual dynamics that formed earlier in life. For example a close relationship between mother and son can form a virtual cross in her son, connected to her inner self. If well developed, he might be able to use the virtual female leg to cross program a male. But this has a degree of separation from natural, since one leg is virtual and temporal. That is not to say it cannot be effective in terms of team dynamics. However, it does not go as deep; all the way to natural man.
     
    #9 wellwisher, Oct 23, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2019
  10. Rival

    Rival Unicorn
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    Woman.

    It's woman.
     
  11. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    Well very said, and very wise.
     
  12. questfortruth

    questfortruth Active Member

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    I am not interested in own clone. The woman must be woman.
     
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