The Don't Ask Me Thread (Miscellaneous Interviews)

[zombieharlot]

Can you describe something Ronaldo has done.

Well...he's played soccer!

Freud sure got pychology started as a science. Of course, almost no one believes his theories anymore. But that's progress. He'll always be a great historical figure.

Yes, but he certainly got some gears turning.

Me, I try hard to think inside the box, stay with the norm, cover my butt, and keep a low profile. I've learned it's safer that way, and safety is what I'm all about. I'm proud of the fact I never rock the boat, talk in cliches, and think only thoughts approved by the Office Of Occupational Health And Safety. Remember ZH, you can always come to Trusty Uncle Sunstone for a conventional look at things.

You're my uncle?

More seriously, how many people on RF from abroad can you list?

All 6,018.

Do you prefer jars with red lids or blue lids?

Well, my favorite peanut butter has a red lid while my favorite pickles have a blue lid...so it's a tie!

Can it be suggested that your experimental music is actually stolen from the unauthorized works of Eric Clapton and played backwards accompanied by hoot owls?

Not stolen! "Borrowed"

If you had to choose between answering the phone or answering the door, which would choose?

Such cannot be decided. Those who have been found in similar situations have been known to kill themselves.

What question did each of them ask that you wanted to answer?

"Can you really do backflips in 8" heels!?!"

If someone licked your wrist what would you taste like?

Mint leaf, devil's foodcake, a pinch of salt, garnished with lime.

That bad?

Is that really all that bad?

When your watch says it's 7:00 PM, is that a mistake?

If all time froze right at 7:00 PM, then no.

 

[lunamoth]

Is it possible to frubal an entire thread?

 

[Sunstone]

Is it possible to frubal an entire thread?

Unfortunately, no. But hasn't pretty much everyone in this thread been great!

*sigh* I'm way behind on responding, but that's because I'm getting all sorts of technical problems, probably from the server. Sucks!

 

[Sunstone]

Getting 10K frubal on RF.

Yes. I recall how hard you worked for those last few frubals. No one's ever quite twisted my arm that way before or since. But you did earn them. I laughed outloud when I read your post.

Eight. Or maybe it was eleven?

Beats me! I can never remember which one comes after the other.

I have never once in my life worn thong underwear.

Do you realize there are now one million internet users who realize this about you, Luna. Are you sure you don't want to qualify that statement by, say, declaring you meant you've neve worn thong underwear as an armband?

Apparently she can't keep a secret. I will not be telling her her about the thong underwear.

I should hope not! It's bad enough that a sizeable portion of the population of Idaho now realizes that you have never worn thong underwear.

I suppose it would be useless to ask you at this point what colors of thong underwear you haven't worn? And was the underwear you didn't wear lacy or full weave?

Mr Guy's [avatars] always make me laugh.

Me too! There's something completely absurd, yet completely human about them. Or maybe those are two words for the same thing?

You and your family recently moved to Colorado in an attempt to flee paying backtaxes in which state, Luna?

How many lightbulbs do you have in your house?

Do you think most people need fewer, more or about the same number of bulbs as you do?

Do you drink in the dark?

As a former LSD addict, can you tell us what red really really looks like?

Is it insufferably true that you have spent years designing no fewer than seven variations on the obsolete clothes pin?

Is your educational background more sciences, liberal arts, business, or cattle branding?

Are there more eggs in a dozen, more bulls in a herd, more flocks in a bird, more bacteria in a flea, or more confusion in this question, than there are people named Bill in New York City?

How many clothes pins does it take to hang a grown steer from a clothes line? Do you have a preferred technique for doing so?

How many groupies worship your immediate family?

Do you have long term financial goals to become extremely wealthy?

Why or why not?

 

[Booko]

Instead of you asking me questions about myself, I thought I'd start a thread asking you to tell me a little something about yourself.

What is your second biggest, most important to you life accomplishment to date?

My penultimate degree?

How many times in a row can you count to ten without getting confused?

In mathematics we deal with variables, not numbers.

What's a secret about yourself that you'd like to share with about one million internet users?

I had an abortion once?

Does your mother know you have perverted thoughts of having Tom Hank's out of wedlock baby?

No.

Why not?

'Cause I had an abortion once?

Who has been the most important mentor in your life who was not a parent or relative?

My business partner. We alternate months being mentors.

Did you have his/her out of wedlock baby?

No, but we've both had a cat several times.

What's the third greatest mistake you made in your life and how did you recover from it?

The last corporate job I had. I recovered by being laid off with 4 months severance. I wish I could recover from all my mistakes so easily.

Looking back, what's the youngest age at which you think you would have been ready for responsible sex?

1111 (base 2)

Why that young? Whatever happened to waiting until 40?

1111 > 40

Who has the coolest Avartar on RF? What do you like most about it?

All the great apes.

Are you often inarticulate around people you're sexually attracted to?

Never.

Do you know the neurological reason for that?

I am a skilled huntress.

 

[Booko]

I was almost raped by a dolphin once!

I was almost raped by a dog on 2 separate occasions. The first was a chihuahua. :sarcastic The 2nd was a great dane. Now there's variety for ya.

One of my cats is obviously in love with me. He bites me on the back of the head, but then can't figure out what to do next.

 

[Sunstone]

Of course you can enjoy my tattoos and beauty o ). I'm not the shy one and tend to enjoy being nude, haha.

One of the things I admire about you is that you're so open. Openness often means vulnerability. In your offline world, C1, are you as open as you are online?

If so, do you find that makes you vulnerable?

Is this a site where you feel freer to be yourself than, say, elsewhere on the internet?

If you could meet in the offline world three people from RF, besides myself, who would they be? And why?

I completely agree. It's teachers like her that make me want to continue with my schooling. That make me love to learn.

One of my ex's was from Japan and had a grandfather who was recognized as such a good teacher that the Japanese erected a statue of him in a famous city park. The day we do something like that in North America for teachers is the day, I think, that our civilization can claim to have reached adulthood.

I've been called a Rock Snob. I try not to be, but I admit that I am kind of biased and picky when it comes to music.

Do you enjoy all kinds of rock, then? Or are you mainly into one or another sub category?

Both of my brothers have shaved heads.

Was this planned or a tragic lawn mower accident?

Mmm.. anything Vegetarian. I could live off of vegetarian pasta. My friend, a drummer in a local band, just opened up a great restaurant with total vegetarian cuisine. I spend WAY more time and money there than I should. Before I became Vegetarian though, I was addicted to Mexican and Chinese food.

Do you see vegetarianism as a major part of your spiritual journey or is it something you do mostly for other reasons?

How many come ons a day do you get on Myspace.com?
Waaaaay more than I should. It seems all the creepy guys want to stalk ME. I don't know why. I constantly get hit on by guys from Turkey and Egypt that feel the need to tell me how much money they make or stand to inherit or how many restaurants they own. It's really odd.

In college, I met some folk from the Middle East who'd never expected to see women dressed as Westerners typically dress. Nice guys, but they weren't prepared for it, and thought all the women here were easy and promiscuous, if not actual prostitutes. Made for some interesting trips to the bars with them.

There is only one boy on Myspace.com who's come ons I don't reject. C1 thinks she's in love with this boy, hahaha.

Good luck with that! Love's a wonderous thing. I think it's as much a way of seeing things, a way of looking, a perspective, as it is an emotion. Would you agree? Disagree?

Do you like abstract sculpture?

Can it reasonably be said that one reason you're such a good person to interview is that you have experience interviewing others?

What did you think of Picasso's choice in socks? Revolutionary? Burgeois? Or merely communist?

It's a common rumor on RF that your copy of the Kama Sutra has your handwritten corrections in the margins. Is this true?

Would you marry an alien from outer space if there were no other way to save the earth?

What if the alien thought like George Bush?

Do you always answer your phone when you possibly can? Or do you have certain things, such as supper, that you won't interrupt to take a call?

 

[lunamoth]

Do you realize there are now one million internet users who realize this about you, Luna. Are you sure you don't want to qualify that statement by, say, declaring you meant you've neve worn thong underwear as an armband?

No. I stand by my disclosure of the fact that I have never worn thong underwear on any part of my body.

I suppose it would be useless to ask you at this point what colors of thong underwear you haven't worn? And was the underwear you didn't wear lacy or full weave?

The thong underwear that I have not worn ever was pink and lacy. I would also refuse to wear thong underwear that was black and full weave.

You and your family recently moved to Colorado in an attempt to flee paying backtaxes in which state, Luna?

That would be Texas, yeah, that's right, Texas. And it was a case of mistaken identity anyway. Yeah, that's the ticket.

How many lightbulbs do you have in your house?

I don't know because it is more than ten.

Do you think most people need fewer, more or about the same number of bulbs as you do?

Frankly I don't consider that any of my business.

Do you drink in the dark?

Only at night.

As a former LSD addict, can you tell us what red really really looks like?

My Mom really needs to learn to keep quiet.

Is it insufferably true that you have spent years designing no fewer than seven variations on the obsolete clothes pin?

Insufferably. :sad:

Is your educational background more sciences, liberal arts, business, or cattle branding?

Well, I started out in a double major of cattle branding and art, you know, thought I'd get into designer brands...but I got sidetracked by the clothespin project, which I guess you could consider a science. You know, the way I perfected them. (Dratted electric clothes driers!)

Are there more eggs in a dozen, more bulls in a herd, more flocks in a bird, more bacteria in a flea, or more confusion in this question, than there are people named Bill in New York City?

You free-lance writing college exam questions, don't you? I'm torn between the bacteria and people named Bill. What species of flea would that be?

How many clothes pins does it take to hang a grown steer from a clothes line?

Just one. It was my best design ever. It was tested on the Space Shuttle (double drat those electric clothes driers! and the gas powered ones too!)

Do you have a preferred technique for doing so?

Yes, but you'll never know unless my Mom opens her mouth again.

How many groupies worship your immediate family?

That would be...none. They all left after the Texas steer debacle. They really did not understand the sacrifice required for clothespin engineering. (See my first response about still paying people off).

Do you have long term financial goals to become extremely wealthy?

No.

Why or why not?

...blackmail really should be out-lawed.

 

[Sunstone]

My daughter is 6 and I get compliments for her manners.

That's remarkable! It's interesting that you chose that as your second greatest accomplishment. Would you call yourself family oriented?

Does being family oriented throw off the compasses in your house?

I'm attracted to older women...MUCH older women.

What do you find most attractive about much older women besides the blue tinted hair?

Would you tell her!?

Your Trusty Uncle Sunstone is willing to do anything for a fee.

This one's a two-way tie. My Nana who was a very proud woman. Also, she once told me that I get more and more handsome everytime she sees me. And the other was a guy named Donny. He was just a perverted regular at the bar I used to tend. He'd always say, "Johnny! You're my protege!" I didn't like it when he'd say that in front of anyone though.

Did Donny know your preferred name was "Steve"?

Did Detroit succeed from the Union in 1917 as everyone suspects, but has been afraid to ask until now?

What are the three things you like most about the color red?

I kind of like Mr. Guys [avatars] cause they are so cynical.

Yes, the most cynical on RF. Makes them kind of attractive,too.

I say because I never had a sister and never developed a sense of comfort around women. My friends would say because I'm a pansy.

Give it time. You're probably nervous around women because you're aware on some level of how much you have to learn about them. That open mindedness will help you learn a lot and go far. That's my hunch, at least. Better to be open minded, learning, and unsure of women, than close minded, opinionated, and too sure of women.

Have you ever forgotten how old you were in doggie years?

Which three members of RF do you most want to sniff the hair of?

What do you imagine each would smell like if they were candies?

How many new women have you met in the last month?

Was Old Yeller the runt of his litter?

Do you keep your email on when you post on RF so you'll get the penile erector spams as soon as possible?

Without revealing their ranking, who are four of the top ten most interesting posters on RF?

What makes each of them interesting?

When was the last time you sucked link out of your carpet with your nose because the vacuum was broken?

 

[Sunstone]

Second biggest? Uhhhh... I couldn't even tell you my first biggest. I don't really keep track of "life accomplishments." Maybe completing my first novel? I'm sure there's something bigger than that, so I'll say that's my second.

A novel! Could you tell us a bit about it?

How many novels have you written?

Is that what you do for a living?

I was almost raped by a dolphin once!

Could you describe the cologne you wore to the water that day?

How did this near rape come about?

Is it true Australians have the best sex in the world and that this comes about from their shrewd observations of kangaroos mating on the hop?

Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Who is the second most famous person you have personally met?

Are there times when even you do not believe there is happiness to be found in wealth enough to buy whole fleets of sleek private jets?

If you were a household product, what would your brand name be?

Can the numerals 17 and 21 ever truly be happy together? Or, are they just too odd for that?

At what age did most dinosaurs fail their algebra?

Have you ever met a sexy man you didn't like? If so, why didn't you like him?

 

[Revasser]

A novel! Could you tell us a bit about it?

How many novels have you written?

Is that what you do for a living?

Oh, it's nothing amazing. Certainly not publishable. It's a caricature of prejudice in the modern world using the vehicle of a post-America setting and a new sub-species of humans which were the result of the war that brought it's downfall.

That was my first and I'm currently working on my second. I do it for fun, not for money, though if I could get published one day, I'd be a very happy vulpine.

Could you describe the cologne you wore to the water that day?

Hah! I have no idea. Fa for men or something like that.

How did this near rape come about?

Not as close as the amorous young buck would've liked, I would think! But he managed to push me over horizontal and get above me in the water before I pushed him away and took refuge in the shallows. I've still got a scar on my knee from his teeth!

Is it true Australians have the best sex in the world and that this comes about from their shrewd observations of kangaroos mating on the hop?

Strewth, you've discovered our secret, mate!

Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Yep.

Who is the second most famous person you have personally met?

Kim Beazley, current leader of the Labor Party here in Australia.

Are there times when even you do not believe there is happiness to be found in wealth enough to buy whole fleets of sleek private jets?

There is no happiness to be found in wealth unless you're happy without it, even though private jets would be pretty cool.

If you were a household product, what would your brand name be?

"ZAPPER! The portable EMP pulse generator."

Can the numerals 17 and 21 ever truly be happy together? Or, are they just too odd for that?

They can, indeed. But they have to work at it and avoid therapists.

At what age did most dinosaurs fail their algebra?

11

Have you ever met a sexy man you didn't like? If so, why didn't you like him?

Plenty. Because too often they know they're sexy and they know everyone else knows it and it amounts to them being arrogant, narcissistic fools who think they deserve to have everything handed to them.

 

[James the Persian]

Oh, it's nothing amazing. Certainly not publishable. It's a caricature of prejudice in the modern world using the vehicle of a post-America setting and a new sub-species of humans which were the result of the war that brought it's downfall.

That was my first and I'm currently working on my second. I do it for fun, not for money, though if I could get published one day, I'd be a very happy vulpine.

I've been working on a historical novel for years (no kidding, I think I started some time between '96 and '98). Any advice on how you actually get one finished? I'm not in it for money either (obviously!) though getting it published would be nice if I ever finish it. Admittedly the first couple of years were mostly research and writing a synopsis (the research took a long time - not many resources on medieval Romanian history in English), but I seem to have spent the last 5 years or so writing and rewriting the same few chapters. It never ends!

James

 

[Sunstone]

Potty training????

Becoming potty trained is quite an accomplishment, by all accounts. You should be proud! As are we all!

Pigtails anger me!!!!

I think that is quite a statement for a man who's earned the confidence that comes to one who's been potty trained. Why do pigtails anger you?

Do red pigtails anger you more than blonde pigtails? Is there a particular color that irks you most?

Have you ever massaged your lover with a thornless rose?

Why didn't you remove the thorns first?

Can you name three non-American members of the Forum and the countries they are each from?

What is your favorite Chinese dish?

Why is porcelin your favorite Chinese dish?

Is it true you enter nearly every contest for cash you can in the hopes of securing an early retirement?

When bait fishing, do you fish until you're drunk or drink until you're ready to fish?

True or False: Colorado College is located in which state?

Is there any truth to the rumor on RF that you perform illegal cosmetic pet surgeries as your weekend job?

How many Mary K cosmetics did you sell before you realized you'd made a terrible career move?

Do you agree or disagree with the following:

Dhammapada 5

64. Though all his life a fool associates with a wise man, he no more comprehends the Truth than a spoon tastes the flavor of the soup.

65. Though only for a moment a discerning person associates with a wise man, quickly he comprehends the Truth, just as the tongue tastes the flavor of the soup.

In the above quote, which kind of Campbell's Condensed Soup was the Buddha talking about?

What's your favorite color of bell pepper?

How much does that color of bell pepper cost these days in your neck of the woods?

How's your knee doing?

Is it true you never can recall which way you combed your hair the day before?

 

[Sunstone]

You're my uncle?

You didn't read the fine print before registering? Well, then I can see how it might be news to you that you've got not just a new uncle, but a whole RF family now. *evil laugh*

"Can you really do backflips in 8" heels!?!"

Only in metaphysical space.

Mint leaf, devil's foodcake, a pinch of salt, garnished with lime.

That's the most interesting description of what someone's wrist tastes like that I've heard in a long time! ZH, that's brilliant!

"There is a powerful norm of heterosexuality, and a powerful double standard. Girls focus largely on appearence and boyfriends, boys focus on maschismo and sexual gains. To deviate is not accepted."

-- Laurie Mandel, on suburban middle schools (1999)

Is Mandel's observation substantially correct? Why or why not?

Is this double standard something innate to boys and girls, or is it something they learn?

Assuming Mandel is substantially correct, is what is true of middle schools also true of high schools?

Can there be any greater gift than the gift of jelly beans offered with no strings attached?

Should you offer yourself to a lover like you would offer a lover jelly beans, with no strings attached?

How many home mortgage spams do you delete each day?

Which American Dynasty has the most fools: The Bush Dynasty or the Kennedy Dynasty?

Either explain your answer to the above, or describe the socks you last wore!

In law, what is a tort?

Is your soccer team a winning team?

Are there perils of protecting adolescents from sex?

If so, what are the perils?

What Holloween costume will you wear next and what will it look like?

 

[Bastet]

First off, forgive me for not answering all of your questions, but I don't know the answers to some (and I can't be bothered thinking that hard to work them out )

How many times in a row can you count to ten without getting confused?

I reckon I could do it all day if I sang it like they do on Sesame Street...although I'd probably have to count to 12 to do the song properly. "One-two-three-FOUR-five six-seven-eight-NINE-ten eleven tweeeeeeelve!"

What's a secret about yourself that you'd like to share with about one million internet users?

Currently my armpit hair is longer than the hair on my head.

Does your mother know you have perverted thoughts of having Tom Hank's out of wedlock baby?

Um...no. I didn't even know about that one. o.0 How did you delve into my subconsious so? Did you know about my private fantasies to be Wilson in Cast Away??

Why not?

Cause she's too busy having her own fantasies about having Tom Hanks' out of wedlock baby...or something equally icky.

Looking back, what's the youngest age at which you think you would have been ready for responsible sex?

With someone else? 26

Why that young? Whatever happened to waiting until 40?

Are you often inarticulate around people you're sexually attracted to?

Sometimes...

Do you know the neurological reason for that?

Cause I've been taught not to eat and talk at the same time.

 

[Sunstone]

Not clinging to material things or our passions. I get that from Orthodox Christianity also and I think it's a very important aspect of both religions.

I believe I've noticed that clinging not only leads to emotional pain for us, but also emotional and mental confusion. Would you agree?

Furthermore, clinging seems to cause certain behaviors that are both socially and individually undesireable, such as greed, lust (or clinging sexuality), and so forth. Would you agree?

Do you think there's a correspondence of sorts between the Buddist conception of clinging and the Christian conception of sin?

I doubt it in most cases. I'd be more apt to suggest that they look into hesychasm if they're interested in the spiritual practice side of things (which many are in my experience). Of course, if they're a died in the wool atheist I might. In my opinion, anything's better than that and I was atheist when I started practicing Buddhism and feel that God drew me to Him through it in a weird sort of way. I wouldn't want to deny anyone else that possibility.

I'm not familiar with what hesychasm means? Should I google it, or would it be easy enough for you to explain it?

In Orthodox Christianity, who is saved? Is salvation open to everyone who confesses Christ? Is it a possibility even for those who do not confess Christ? Is something involved in salvation besides or other than confessing Christ?

How long will the US and UK be in Iran?

Have you ever seen a bird fly upside down? If so, when, where, and what kind of bird?

Should marijuana be legalized?

What's the second and third most important challenges facing primary and secondary level (grade school through high school in the US) teachers today?

Ever met an intellectual snob?

What did you think of him or her?

Without publically ranking them, who are three of your top seven favorite RF posters and why are each of them a favorite?

What's the weather like in your neck of the woods today?

Do you have a sport you play?

Enjoy long walks?

Can a Fripplethrasher beat a Snortmover at his own game?

Will you teach your daughter to dance when she's older?

What seems at his age today the most likely career your son will take up apart, of course, from replacing Tarzan?

Do you feel culturally closer to Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, or South Africans? Why?

Did the British run their empire better, worse, or about the same as the Americans are mucking through being the world's only superpower today?

 

[Sunstone]

Currently my armpit hair is longer than the hair on my head.

Did you give your hair to charity again, or have you been keeping it short?

Um...no. I didn't even know about that one. o.0 How did you delve into my subconsious so? Did you know about my private fantasies to be Wilson in Cast Away??

It was quite easy using my new National Security Association brain tapping device. Does it shock you us Yanks now have a way of reading the minds of world leaders, Bastet? We decided to go ahead and build the device once we realized that with George Bush in office we'd be one of the few nations in the world with a leader who's mind can't be read because he doesn't have one. I think I heard Australia was the other nation with such a leader. Is that true?

With someone else? 26

Wait a minute! Are you implying sex should be with someone else? *checks notes*

Cause I've been taught not to eat and talk at the same time.

Oddly enough, we practice almost the same etiquette. Have you ever tried humming when you're eating?

Bastet, dear, have you ever seen a great white shark alive?

When was the last time you made it to the beach? How was the water that day?

What is typically the first part of your body to get sunburnt?

Which subjects did you concentrate on at uni?

What did the faces of the grandmothers of the Bee Gees look like before they were born?

Can a snitchel trump a vogol in an game of snumpkins, and just how long has that rule been around?

"Although this type of behavior is perfectly normal, it is socially inappropriate."

-- Dr. Lawerence Kutner on "playing doctor" (1994)

Do you think playing doctor is socially appropriate or socially inappropriate for children?

How many cups of coffee or tea do you need in the morning to get yourself going?

Can it be safely said of you that you really don't know how to cook but are so absolutely magnificient at faking it that you fool everyone including yourself?

Do you prefer dresses to pants?

How do the clothes you don't prefer feel about being left out?

What's the chance you could visit the US within the year?

Without publicly ranking them, who do you consider two of the top five most kind posters on RF?

Is it true Australia is really a fictional continent created by H.G. Wells in 1886 to entertain late Victorians with exotic tales of "Down Under"?

Is it proper to throw turnips at kangaroos when they occupy the roadway?

 

[James the Persian]

I believe I've noticed that clinging not only leads to emotional pain for us, but also emotional and mental confusion. Would you agree?

Yes

Furthermore, clinging seems to cause certain behaviors that are both socially and individually undesireable, such as greed, lust (or clinging sexuality), and so forth. Would you agree?

Again, yes.

Do you think there's a correspondence of sorts between the Buddist conception of clinging and the Christian conception of sin?

Not really. I'd say that the close correspondence is between the the Buddhist idea and the Christian idea of the Passions. In the Buddhist case, clinging to things leads us to evil actions and sorrow and in the Christian one, allowing the Passions free reign leads to sin. There is a further similarity between the Orthodox concept of sin and Buddhism in that rather than seeing sin as a crime against God we see it as a falling short, an imperfection or a spiritual sickness. It seems to me that this is closer (though not identical) to eastern than western ideas in general.

I'm not familiar with what hesychasm means? Should I google it, or would it be easy enough for you to explain it?

It's fairly easy to explain briefly. It's basically the spiritual practice of Orthodox Christianity, an effort to empty ourselves of the passions and pray ceaselessly. It bears some surface similarities to Buddhist meditation, though the purpose is different. This link explains a little further: http://www.orthodoxwiki.org/Hesychasm

In Orthodox Christianity, who is saved? Is salvation open to everyone who confesses Christ? Is it a possibility even for those who do not confess Christ? Is something involved in salvation besides or other than confessing Christ?

Nobody is saved in this life. Salvation is a process rather than an event. To understand this it would be helpful to understand Theosis which you should also be able to find at the orthodoxwiki site linked to above. In order to be saved we must run the race to the end. There is no assurance of salvation. There's a lot more to it than simple confession of Christ. We trust that those who don't know Christ may also be brought to God by His mercy and although we know where the Church is we do not know where it is not. We believe even non-Christians may be saved as God wills that all men be saved but we believe more is expected of those who receive more (i.e. us). We believe that our Church is the best and most complete way to God but we do not deny the possibility of others being drawn to God outside the Church. I could go on, but ask if you have further questions.

How long will the US and UK be in Iran?

Hopefully we'll never go into Iran. If you meant Iraq, though, whilst I hope we will be out reasonably soon, I fear that we will be bogged down until eventually forced to leave due to what appears to be the brewing civil war. God willing my hopes rather than fears may come true.

Have you ever seen a bird fly upside down? If so, when, where, and what kind of bird?

No.

Should marijuana be legalized?

Yes. I'm not in favour of prohibitions as I feel they do more harm than good. I started smoking at school (tobacco first, later pot) precisely because I wasn't allowed to. I'm sure many teenagers have a similar (stupid) attitude.

What's the second and third most important challenges facing primary and secondary level (grade school through high school in the US) teachers today?

I don't really know. The first one is probably discipline. Second and third I'm not sure about. Political correctness gone mad (e.g. pupils actually been taken seriously when they cry wolf about sexual or physical abuse before any attempt at an investigation is even made) and earning enough money to make a decent living doing the job they love springs to mind.

Ever met an intellectual snob?

Yes

What did you think of him or her?

Not a lot. I must admit to having felt guilty delight at seeing them put in their place by one of my philosophy lecturers. that happened frequently.

Without publically ranking them, who are three of your top seven favorite RF posters and why are each of them a favorite?

Michel - because he's just such a nice and reasonable man.
Booko - because she impresses me with her knowledgeable posts
Feathers - same sort of reason as Michel (apart from the man part)

What's the weather like in your neck of the woods today?

Awful. Cold, grey and raining since I got up this morning.

Do you have a sport you play?

Not exactly. I like sea (shore) fishing and running and I'd like to take up kendo. I'm not really into team sports, though I used to play rugby (union).

Enjoy long walks?

Yes. Very much

Can a Fripplethrasher beat a Snortmover at his own game?

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Will you teach your daughter to dance when she's older?

If I can remember how by then I'll teach her some Latin ballroom (Tango is my favourite). My wife can deal with the Romanian folk dancing.

What seems at his age today the most likely career your son will take up apart, of course, from replacing Tarzan?

We sometimes jokingly refer to him as the monk, so that's a possibility. He chose a cross from a tray of items on his first birthday (strange Romanian custom), likes to go to the Divine Liturgy, once followed Father around 'censing' people with a stuffed toy of Melman the giraffe and, the clincher, absolutely hates meat.

Do you feel culturally closer to Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, or South Africans? Why?

South Africans. I've known several and their Boer background was sufficiently similar to my German side of the family to be extremely familiar.

Did the British run their empire better, worse, or about the same as the Americans are mucking through being the world's only superpower today?

Well, I think the British are more efficient at such things than Americans and the British military seems to have been more capable (I'm talking soldiers, not equipment here), but I'm not sure either of those things are good, given my feelings about Empire. I'd see both culture's failings as equally bad but different.

James

 

[Bastet]

Did you give your hair to charity again, or have you been keeping it short?

I've been keeping it short. I'm considering growing my armpit hair and giving that to charity...it really can't be much worse than some toupees I've seen.

It was quite easy using my new National Security Association brain tapping device. Does it shock you us Yanks now have a way of reading the minds of world leaders, Bastet?

Wait...does that make me a world leader then? :areyoucra **** mate...I'd better rethink my whole armpit hair position; can't imagine that going down well with the punters.

We decided to go ahead and build the device once we realized that with George Bush in office we'd be one of the few nations in the world with a leader who's mind can't be read because he doesn't have one. I think I heard Australia was the other nation with such a leader. Is that true?

Indubitably. I'm sure I remember hearing George Dubya gleefully shouting the words, "I shall call him Mini-Me!".

Wait a minute! Are you implying sex should be with someone else? *checks notes*

Implying? No, sir! I was merely clarifying the question in order to give the right answer. If it's just with myself, then I'll change my answer to 5.

Oddly enough, we practice almost the same etiquette. Have you ever tried humming when you're eating?

No, although I've heard the results can be...electric. I find if I'm stuck for something to do with my tongue while I'm eating, that it's a great time to practice drawing my A-B-C's.

Bastet, dear, have you ever seen a great white shark alive?

Yes, right before I stuck a scuba tank in its mouth and shot the tank with a gun. Then we had fish'n'chips for tea.

When was the last time you made it to the beach? How was the water that day?

Well, I've never made it on the beach, because my mother always warned me about getting sand in my crack. Oh wait, did you say to the beach...back in January, the water was freezing and full of seaweed. Waves were good, though.

What is typically the first part of your body to get sunburnt?

The naked part.

Which subjects did you concentrate on at uni?

None of them, that's why I flunked out. Probably Japanese...

What did the faces of the grandmothers of the Bee Gees look like before they were born?

*ponders this* Much like any unborn face, I would imagine.

Can a snitchel trump a vogol in an game of snumpkins, and just how long has that rule been around?

Of course it can! I believe that rule came into being around the same time Jensimpkins created the gnobtrotch codex.

"Although this type of behavior is perfectly normal, it is socially inappropriate."

-- Dr. Lawerence Kutner on "playing doctor" (1994)

Do you think playing doctor is socially appropriate or socially inappropriate for children?

Well, since I have never done anything socially inappropriate in my entire life (and most especially today), I'll have to go with socially appropriate.

How many cups of coffee or tea do you need in the morning to get yourself going?

One. Or twenty. I haven't decided yet. *twitches*

Can it be safely said of you that you really don't know how to cook but are so absolutely magnificient at faking it that you fool everyone including yourself?

Well, having had quite a bit of experience in faking it, I'd have to say yes.

Do you prefer dresses to pants?

Depends on who's wearing them.

How do the clothes you don't prefer feel about being left out?

They're very understanding, and tend to just go on and have a mass orgy in the wardrobe without me.

What's the chance you could visit the US within the year?

Two chances...Buckley's and none. Three chances if I win tattslotto.

Without publicly ranking them, who do you consider two of the top five most kind posters on RF?

Kind...Feathers, without a doubt. I can't think of a second... I can think of a couple who are kind of... *waggles hand*

Is it true Australia is really a fictional continent created by H.G. Wells in 1886 to entertain late Victorians with exotic tales of "Down Under"?

Oh, yes! I have read a copy of a book which bound together all issues of a serialised erotic newsletter from such an era. There were many mentions of "Down Under", and some quite interesting things things to do there. Fascinating place...but quite fictional.

Is it proper to throw turnips at kangaroos when they occupy the roadway?

Only on a hot summer night when you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses.

 

[standing_alone]

What is your second biggest, most important to you life accomplishment to date?
No idea. Maybe going to college. Maybe receiving three letters by the time I graduated high school; one for English (theatre), one for academics, and one for orchestra (along with some (I think three) medals from Sole and Ensemble).

How many times in a row can you count to ten without getting confused?
I'm not even going to try that since I hate counting. I do it much of the night at work. In fact, I have to count pans to make sure they are ten high, so my guess is I can count to ten many times in a row without being confused.

What's a secret about yourself that you'd like to share with about one million internet users?
I don't know. I can't think of anything that great.

Does your mother know you have perverted thoughts of having Tom Hank's out of wedlock baby?
No.

Why not?
Because I don't have such thoughts to begin with.

Who has been the most important mentor in your life who was not a parent or relative?
Damn. I think it's a tie between my Stagecraft teacher in high school and my AP English teacher in high school. If I had to choose one, I'd go with my Stagecraft teacher from high school.

Did you have his/her out of wedlock baby?
No.

What's the third greatest mistake you made in your life and how did you recover from it?
Still haven't recovered. I don't know. I make lots of mistakes.

Looking back, what's the youngest age at which you think you would have been ready for responsible sex?
I still don't think I'm ready for "responsible" sex. Hell, I'm still a virgin.

Why that young? Whatever happened to waiting until 40?
Question is not applicable.

Who has the coolest Avartar on RF? What do you like most about it?
Me of course. What I like most about it is that it's from "Get Fuzzy."

Are you often inarticulate around people you're sexually attracted to?
I'm often inarticulate around everyone, sexually attracted to or not.

Do you know the neurological reason for that?
Nope.