Some one-liners

[Callisto]

 

[Revoltingest]

 

[Wirey]

My parent moved a lot when I was a kid. Fortunately, I always found them.

I bought a used car, and I found my wife's phone number written in the back seat!

I drink too much. I gave a urine sample, and it had an olive in it.

I have good looking kids. Thank God my wife ran around on me.

My mother hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My wife met me at the door in a sexy negligee. She was just getting home.

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

 

[Revoltingest]

 

[ChristineM]

Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first.

We are such a good friends that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you so much.

Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

 

[Vinayaka]

My parent moved a lot when I was a kid. Fortunately, I always found them.

I bought a used car, and I found my wife's phone number written in the back seat!

I drink too much. I gave a urine sample, and it had an olive in it.

I have good looking kids. Thank God my wife ran around on me.

My mother hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My wife met me at the door in a sexy negligee. She was just getting home.

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

View attachment 89970

One of a kind, Rodney. Lots of great old videos with him cracking up Johnny Carson.

 

[Revoltingest]

Why do women always start conversations
with "Were you even listening to me!"

 

[Wu Wei]

 

[Stevicus]

 

[Revoltingest]