Smiling and Saying Salaam

[Peace]

“Assalamu `alaykum!!!!” I began, excited to speak with a new friend over the phone. “Wa `alaykum… [sigh]… assalam [apathetic sigh],” was the reply. Subhan’Allah (Glory to God), I thought. I’m so excited to speak with her, but she seems quite bored or exhausted. Did she have a bad day? Did I do something wrong? Does she not want to speak with me?

After becoming more acquainted with her, I realized that her reply had nothing to do with me or her day; she just naturally is an extremely calm and composed person.
This realization was empowering; it meant that her lack of visible or audible enthusiasm had nothing to do with me; I didn’t have to take it personally. I could keep calling. However, not everyone has this realization- especially when it goes down in the masjid (mosque).

How many of us have entered a masjid, for the first time, or the hundredth time and found not a single friendly face? How many of us have tried to say Salaam (the greeting of peace) to someone passing by us in the prayer hall, only to be ignored, stared down or receive in reply a hasty, apathetic Salaam? How many of us have felt that we never wanted to return to that particular masjid because of all the unfriendly faces?

The Prophet (peace be upon him) has told us: “O People! Spread salaam, feed the hungry, be in touch with your kin, and pray while people are asleep (at night) you shall enter paradise peacefully.”And he was asked about the best actions and he replied: “Feeding the hungry, and saying salaam to those you know and those you don’t know.”

Remember that time when someone you didn’t know was walking towards you with this enormous smile… and then continued to walk right past you as they enthusiastically greeted the person right behind you? Imagine if you had been greeted in that way… especially if you did not even know the person. And then, upon questioning if you knew the person, he or she replied, “You’re my brother/sister in Islam!” How would that make you feel? Welcomed? Special? Accepted? Imagine the reward of that person who would make you feel like you belong.

We constantly call for unity in our communities. We call to be united against oppression globally but what are we doing to help create bonds of unity with those in our own localities? What are we doing to help strengthen our relationships so that we’ll insha’Allah (God willing) be united in calling for justice?

Read the wisdom of the Prophet peace be upon him: “You will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another: ‘spread salaam‘ (the greeting of peace) among you.” Loving one another is linked with saying Salaam! If we really want to feel united in order to help our Ummah (Muslim community)- let us begin where the Prophet ﷺ has instructed us- let us spread the Salaam!

Additionally, giving the Salaams and meeting fellow believers can be a means of having our sins forgiven! This Ramadan, in addition to all that cheek kissing we do, let’s seek to establish a blessed sunnah (traditions and practices of the Prophet)- one through which, our sins will insha’Allah be forgiven.

The Prophet ﷺ has told us, “When two Muslims meet (give salaam), and shake hands, they are forgiven their sins before they part (with each other).”

Observe yourself next time you meet someone and you automatically go for the hugging and cheek kiss thing (1…2…3…4…7 times? Everyone does it differently!). Do you ever shake hands? In addition to exuding all that physical love, let’s begin to clasp hands, hoping that with the connection of our hands will be the obliteration of our sins.

Finally, while spreading the Salaam, it’s important to be aware of an important fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) ruling which accompanies the blessed greeting. Allah tells us, “And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally” (Qur’an, 4:86).

We should, at minimum, return the greeting with its like or give them an even better greeting.

It is wajib (an obligation) to respond to someone who has greeted you, and it is a blessed Sunnah to start the greeting. The Prophet has even told us: “The person closest to Allah is the one who precedes others in greeting.”

Who knows who is closest to Allah other than Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (Exalted is He)? Let’s race to be amongst those closest! Let us try to be the first ones to say Salaam!

Let us smile, shake hands, and spread sincere and warm Salaams to all that we see! May Allah make it a means, by His Mercy, of allowing us to enter Jannah bis salaam (Paradise with peace).

Source: Smiling and Saying Salaam


What about you, do you spread the word salaam, do you love smiling? Personally, I can't live without smiling

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

How would you prefer to be greeted by a non-Muslim. It is my understanding that many would deem "Assalamu `alaykum" inappropriate.

 

[Peace]

How would you prefer to be greeted by a non-Muslim. It is my understanding that many would deem "Assalamu `alaykum" inappropriate.

Why would it be considered inappropriate?! You could greet us with the greeting you like including "Assalamu 'alaikum" or "salaam" or "peace be with you"
We are all brothers and sisters in humanity, from the same parents, Adam & Eve, so spreading salaam among human fellows is a beautiful thing to do.

 

[IsmailaGodHasHeard]

I am not a Muslim, but i love to wish peace on people. As salaam u alikum.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

Why would it be considered inappropriate?! You could greet us with the greeting you like including "Assalamu 'alaikum" or "salaam" or "peace be with you"
We are all brothers and sisters in humanity, from the same parents, Adam & Eve, so spreading salaam among human fellows is a beautiful thing to do.

To quote an acquaintance of mine:

There is an authentic hadith (statement of Prophet Muhammad, pbuh) which says, "Do not initiate the Jews and Christians (and scholars understand it to extrapolate to all non-Muslims) with (the greeting of) peace." However, I have always taken his advice to mean that if one is unsure that peace is the other party's objective, then one should avoid initiating the greeting of 'peace' and wait to see first,so that in the case that war is what's on the other party's mind and it comes to that, the Muslim will not go back on their word.. a promise of peace.

There is a difference of opinion among scholars regarding how strictly one should abide by that instruction. Some scholars are very literal and don't think of the reasoning behind certain commandments as much as others do. So, some just say don't initiate ever, while others understand more like I do, saying that it depends on the situation, and if you know that the non-Muslim person thinks peace, then there's no problem in initiating the greeting.

As for replying, some scholars have said that one should only respond to a non-Muslim by saying, "and unto you", without saying the word peace. They get this from an incident in the Prophet Muhammad's life when a group of Jews greeted him by saying 'As-Samu alaikum' (which means 'death be upon you') instead of 'As-Salamu alaikum' due to animosity they felt towards him. He replied, 'and unto you'.. so that if he had misheard or they mispronunced, the same good greeting of peace would be returned, but if they meant it the bad way, he would have returned the same greeting and not promised peace to people he may have to defend himself and his community against. From that, some scholars say one should only say 'and unto you'. However, I prefer the opinion of the scholars who mention that omitting the word peace from the reply should only be done if and when it's a similar situation to the one in the above scenario... where the initial greeter's intentions are highly suspect and the words are not clear... otherwise one should respond to the non-Muslim with 'and peace be unto you'.

It would not be putting a Muslim in an awkward position at all to initiate the greeting of peace, in my opinion... if a Muslim looks confused as how to answer, it's not that there's a problem with responding positively to the greeting, he/she's probably thinking, what's the right wording for the way to respond, because they may have heard the scholarly debate on whether to include the word peace or not and may just be confused about what to do or what that means... especially the first few times a Muslim is in the situation, because they're still trying to think it through, it may appear like he/she's confused.... for some. I'm thinking we need to work at overcoming that, so that people are used to spreading the greeting of peace and answering it without hesitation.

I would support non-Muslims greeting with peace, and I feel very comfortable and confident in my choice to greet peace loving non-Muslims, such as yourself, with the greeting of peace. Peace is an admirable goal and a top priority, isn't it?

My concern would be that of causing someone to feel awkward (much as might be the case if I offered to shake hands with an observant Muslim or Jewish female).

 

[elmarna]

In the warmth of your thread I smile.
In the very intent of a show of hands to see peace in all it's meanings grasped is a geatness.
No matter how the world is or what cercumstances may be found in the avenues it is best not to forget the profound meanings of which the service is.
i do not doubt what kindness & compassion can do.
no matter what culture i feel it is recieved in a good & wise way!
Let the blessins of peace be with all who cherish a smile!
I would never want anyone to fail to see the goodness of God.
To me we all can live a better life!
Humduallah! Humduallah!

 

[Peace]

My concern would be that of causing someone to feel awkward (much as might be the case if I offered to shake hands with an observant Muslim or Jewish female).

Most Muslims are familiar with the incident mentioned in the quote, that's why you would find some Muslims reluctant in choosing the best way to return back the greeting. However, most Muslims will return back imediately the greeting of salaam by a non-Muslim by saying "wa 'alaikum salam", and I do the same. You don't need to feel at all awkward or hesitant in greeting Muslims with salaam because too simply it's an admirable greeting that creates a beautiful atmosphere of love and tolerance. So don't ever hesitate to greet your cousins with salaam

Concerning shaking hands with a Muslim female, and I would talk from my personal experience, I wouldn't feel offended if a Muslim or non-Muslim alike spread his hand to shake hands, on the contrary I fear that I may offend him by not shaking hands; that's why I always explain that I don't shake hands with men in general and I always do it in a polite way. The results and in most cases people start apologizing to which my response is "there is no need to apologize".
One question Jay, I never knew that observant Jewish female don't shake hands too, is that vis-a-vis all men (outside of immediate family) or just foreigners?

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

One question Jay, I never knew that observant Jewish female don't shake hands too, is that vis-a-vis all men (outside of immediate family) or just foreigners

Shalom / Salaam

Very observant Jews will politely avoid all physical contact with the opposite sex whenever possible.

Thanks for the dialogue!

 

[Peace]

Shalom / Salaam

Wa 'alaikum salam Jay

Thanks for the dialogue!

It's my pleasure

 

[Peace]

Smiling is Islam is considered a kind of charity. Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:
“Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises.” He was then asked: “From what do we give charity every day?” The Prophet answered: “The doors of goodness are many…enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one’s legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one’s arms–all of these are charity prescribed for you.” He also said: “Your smile for your brother is charity.”

Narrated ‘Aisha [prophet Mohammed's wife] -may Allah be pleased with her- : “I never saw the Prophet laughing to an extent that one could see his palate, but he always used to smile”.

Don't forget that smiling is free So smile and don't be mean

 

[SageTree]

While living here in Toronto and also while traveling in Bosnia and Turkey people say/said 'Salaam' to me a LOT.... to which I replied wa' alaikum salaam, figuring whether they knew I wasn't, thought I was or didn't care, I figured this was the correct, polite and sincere answer.

My question though,

Now not to much in a place where Islam is pervasive, but more so here in Canada, when someone says Salaam to me should I guess this person takes me for a Muslim/Arabic or Middle Easterner or is this a common way to greet All folks?


Naive question, but one that has been on my mind, so thought I mid-as-well just ask


:namaste
SageTree

 

[Peace]

While living here in Toronto and also while traveling in Bosnia and Turkey people say/said 'Salaam' to me a LOT.... to which I replied wa' alaikum salaam, figuring whether they knew I wasn't, thought I was or didn't care, I figured this was the correct, polite and sincere answer.

My question though,

Now not to much in a place where Islam is pervasive, but more so here in Canada, when someone says Salaam to me should I guess this person takes me for a Muslim/Arabic or Middle Easterner or is this a common way to greet All folks?


Naive question, but one that has been on my mind, so thought I mid-as-well just ask


:namaste
SageTree

Salaam Sage Tree

I believe they take you for a Muslim that's why they greet you with Salaam.

Peace

 

[SageTree]

Salaam Sage Tree

I believe they take you for a Muslim that's why they greet you with Salaam.

Peace

That leads to a second question, and I am sorry if this is too off topic.
Since what you said crossed my mind, what or why would people assume that about me?
Now... I have no problem being culturally/religiously ambiguous... actually, I prefer it.

So I'm asking what are the 'marks' or 'characteristics' that would draw people's eye to my potential Muslim-hood?

That is... unless they can see my Heart or can sense my gratitude and awe for Sufism.

Thanks and if this is off topic I'll get to having it moved else where or we can talk privately.

Thanks.

Blessed Be!
SageTree

 

[Peace]

That leads to a second question, and I am sorry if this is too off topic.
Since what you said crossed my mind, what or why would people assume that about me?
Now... I have no problem being culturally/religiously ambiguous... actually, I prefer it.

So I'm asking what are the 'marks' or 'characteristics' that would draw people's eye to my potential Muslim-hood?

That is... unless they can see my Heart or can sense my gratitude and awe for Sufism.

Thanks and if this is off topic I'll get to having it moved else where or we can talk privately.

Thanks.

Blessed Be!
SageTree

May be your appearance makes one think that you are a Muslim. I don't know how you look, may be if I see your pic I could say what lead people think that you are a Muslim.

 

[Tamar]

Most Muslims are familiar with the incident mentioned in the quote, that's why you would find some Muslims reluctant in choosing the best way to return back the greeting. However, most Muslims will return back imediately the greeting of salaam by a non-Muslim by saying "wa 'alaikum salam", and I do the same. You don't need to feel at all awkward or hesitant in greeting Muslims with salaam because too simply it's an admirable greeting that creates a beautiful atmosphere of love and tolerance. So don't ever hesitate to greet your cousins with salaam

Concerning shaking hands with a Muslim female, and I would talk from my personal experience, I wouldn't feel offended if a Muslim or non-Muslim alike spread his hand to shake hands, on the contrary I fear that I may offend him by not shaking hands; that's why I always explain that I don't shake hands with men in general and I always do it in a polite way. The results and in most cases people start apologizing to which my response is "there is no need to apologize".
One question Jay, I never knew that observant Jewish female don't shake hands too, is that vis-a-vis all men (outside of immediate family) or just foreigners?

Observant Jewish men and women don't shake hands with unrelated members of the opposite gender.

I shake hands but I never offer my hand to a man who I think may be observant.

 

[SageTree]

May be your appearance makes one think that you are a Muslim. I don't know how you look, may be if I see your pic I could say what lead people think that you are a Muslim.

For one my Avatar is me.
Here is another or two of me.

Along with the Salaam, half the time folks want to know how long I've been married.
Ironically I DID start growing me beard out around the time I met my Wife.
But I trim it now and again to keep it looking favourable.

When I was in Bosnia, our server, who was also a Muslim said, he thought I looked like an Eastern Muslim because of my hair and large beard, and that the Bosnian Muslims were neat and shaved to help distinguish themselves as quote "Not THAT kind of Muslim".

So I just thought, this seemed like a time opening to ask some other folks.

Thanks for engaging me on this

 

[Peace]

Well, may be because you lived with Muslims you have started behaving as one Or may be that's a kind of predicting the future These are just my guess and I ignore actually the real reasons behind that. Couldn't you guess yourself the reasons? have you never asked someone why they think you are a Muslim?

 

[SageTree]

Well, may be because you lived with Muslims you have started behaving as one Or may be that's a kind of predicting the future These are just my guess and I ignore actually the real reasons behind that. Couldn't you guess yourself the reasons? have you never asked someone why they think you are a Muslim?

Perhaps they are seeing something I myself haven't completely moved towards?

I guess this is sort of a silly question and I kind of feel odd that I asked, because no one really 'looks like', ya know?

Life isn't a cookie cutter.

Toronto is a diverse city and maybe I'm just assuming a 'Salaam' greeting implies that I'm being treated as a Muslim or Arabic speaker.

I've guess and I can't place anything I 'do' to place myself as a Muslim.
I am just Me when I go out and am kind and smile in my dealings with people, try to spread a little joy.
Just 'Me' stuff....

Here I have been asked about my beard by someone who has greeted me 'Salaam', but I didn't really have need to 'clarify' anything and just returned the greeting, and answered the question. Nor did I find the urge to ask as the conversations haven't gotten very far beyond that kind of brush here in Toronto.

In Bosnia, I shared a little about what happened there. Our server one night asked me about my Faith and I tried to explain how I related to the Christian telling of God growing up, but that as I got older and searched more I'd come to understand God in a Muslim sense.

After a few days there I asked Hasan if it was normal to be greeted with 'Salaam' as a visitor and if it was okay for me to reply as a non-Muslim and if Arabic was the correct way to answer in Bosnia.

He explained to me that he thought I looked like a Muslim from the near east and that people were leery of these folks because they came to Bosnia telling them their Islam was too Liberal. 'So', he said,'they are probably seeing if you are okay guy or if you are here to 'correct' them.' I asked if I seriously looked like an Eastern Muslim, to which he said 'Yes, you have short length pants and sandals. Long hair and big beard. Plus you are darker than white man.'

Well... I didn't know what to say and I guess I've never had a chance to get a 'second opinion' from anyone.

"Do I look like I'm from your part of the world? And if so, is that a largely Muslim part of the world?"

Maybe it's a completely inappropriate question, if it is I'm sorry.


Respectfully,
SageTree

 

[Peace]

Observant Jewish men and women don't shake hands with unrelated members of the opposite gender.

So we have much in common
Thanks Tamar!

 

[Peace]

Perhaps they are seeing something I myself haven't completely moved towards?

Maybe

Toronto is a diverse city and maybe I'm just assuming a 'Salaam' greeting implies that I'm being treated as a Muslim or Arabic speaker.

I believe they won't greet you with Salaam unless they consider you a Muslim.

I've guess and I can't place anything I 'do' to place myself as a Muslim.
I am just Me when I go out and am kind and smile in my dealings with people, try to spread a little joy.
Just 'Me' stuff....

And the Muslim should also be nice and kind to people and also smiling at their faces, for Islam gives a great importance to good morals and behaviors.

I asked if I seriously looked like an Eastern Muslim, to which he said 'Yes, you have short length pants and sandals. Long hair and big beard. Plus you are darker than white man.'
"Do I look like I'm from your part of the world? And if so, is that a largely Muslim part of the world?"[/

Short length pants and sandals have nothing to do with Eastern Muslims, for it's not a feature that distinguishes them. Eastern Muslims wear as everybody else wear. For the beard, normally it's a Sunnah to grow a beard, but all Muslims have a beard. Concerning the hair, a Muslim doesn't have that long hair. The hair of a Muslim could grow to the shoulder. This is normally how the hair of a Muslim should look like:

Hamza Yusuf, an American Islamic scholar

Hamza Yusuf

Peace