Sexism Against Men

[Orbit]

What are some major examples of sexism you've seen first-hand against men or boys?

Personally, these are the two main ones I've witnessed:

- Conscription. Aside from the fact that it is enforced on men only where I live (I support abolishing it rather than enforcing it on both sexes, just to be clear), I also saw multiple people in service who should have never been accepted but had their issues brushed aside anyway and were expected to be "manly" and not complain or show any signs of vulnerability.

This included a schizophrenic who was in the same barracks as I was as well as me with my own issues (depression and high foot arches that led to inflamed tendons and made me limp while walking). Because we were supposed to be "manly," we and other conscripts who often needed rest received a lot of scolding comments, sometimes seriously and sometimes half-jokingly.

- The expectation and assumption that men should be able to endure more physical difficulty than women by default without accounting for possible (but invisible) health issues. This sometimes also connects to the idea that men shouldn't complain about pain or health issues, especially mental ones, or else they're being "unmanly."

Share your experiences or examples you've encountered of sexism that primarily targets and harms men.

The entire cultural set of expectations that feminists call "toxic masculinity" are harmful to men. The socialization (upbringing) to not show emotion, to not cry, to be "tough" no matter what, to be aggressive, to lack empathy, they are all ways that our culture abuses men,

 

[Kooky]

Of course, a large number of these harmful sexist stereotypes are being perpetuated by men as well as women.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Of course, a large number of these harmful sexist stereotypes are being perpetuated by men as well as women.

Definitely. I view many of them as a result of patriarchy, which goes to show that it can and does harm men too.

 

[Kooky]

Male victims of rape and domestic abuse are regularly airbrushed from the conversation so as to avoid making it about men.

They receive even greater mockery from their fellow men and public institutions. A female rape victim has a small chance of the (male dominated) police treating her report seriously, a male rape victim has almost none.

As @Debater Slayer put so well, the patriarchy harms men as well as women.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

To me sexism in most countries comes from the same place. Gender roles at large but specifically the disdain of the feminine. Since I don't equate feminine with women, and think feminine should be a quality given due by all genders for mental and physical wellbeing, I think anti-femininity damages all people.

Femininity is considered weakness in many cultures. Something masculinity is 'supposed' to exploit. So if you have the qualities considered feminine in that culture, emotional awareness, introspection, nurturing, empathy, etc, you tend to get power and agency stripped from you. This stripping of power from feminine and hoarding it under masculine is what I see as toxic masculinity. Which is a perspective men, women, nonbinary or agender can buy into.

Lost a custody case as a man? It's because men are seen as not 'supposed to be' as essential to nurturing kids as women, because femininity is considered a weakness for men.

Men get abused for crying? Crying is feminine, therefore weak. Men aren't supposed to be weak.

Men get assaulted by a woman? Men are supposed to be strong. Men who aren't strong are effeminate. That's bad. It's weak to admit weakness. Keep quiet about it.

All these things are toxic beliefs where the thing being reviled is femininity.

 

[Yerda]

They receive even greater mockery from their fellow men and public institutions. A female rape victim has a small chance of the (male dominated) police treating her report seriously, a male rape victim has almost none.

As @Debater Slayer put so well, the patriarchy harms men as well as women.

I have much the same view of things. It's damaging for men to think they have to be a particular way that very few of us are really comfortable with.

(Part of the reason that I've really enjoyed the opening up to trans identities that I've seen in the last decade or so is that it helped me realise that I don't have to perform any gender role I'm not comfortable with. It's easier to be me in a world where other people have taken really big risks simply to live as themselves. I think a lot of men could benefit from not giving a damn whether other men or women find them manly enough.)

 

[Revoltingest]

I have much the same view of things. It's damaging for men to think they have to be a particular way that very few of us are really comfortable with.

(Part of the reason that I've really enjoyed the opening up to trans identities that I've seen in the last decade or so is that it helped me realise that I don't have to perform any gender role I'm not comfortable with. It's easier to be me in a world where other people have taken really big risks simply to live as themselves. I think a lot of men could benefit from not giving a damn whether other men or women find them manly enough.)

Come here to tell us how unmanly you are.
(It's a safe space. And fun.)
How Unmanly Are You?

 

[JustGeorge]

I think sometimes pre-decided ideas of men can be dangerous. I've known men who were being abused by their wives or girlfriends who endured it because they didn't want others to know a woman was beating them up. We had a neighbor admit to being hit with frying pans by his girlfriend, and then try to laugh it off once he saw we didn't find it funny.

 

[Deidre]

I’ve noticed that when some men try to express their true feelings about something, it can often be met with scorn...because “boys don’t cry“, kind of thing.

 

[Brickjectivity]

What are some major examples of sexism you've seen first-hand against men or boys?

Its very common that if a man is friendly, is open, is emotional he alarms other men. This is a society where you don't hug other men, don't smile too much, don't express too much excitement. Other men will be concerned that a man is gay, and this is very difficult when gays are unpopular. They are currently. There is a kind of pressure to be macho, to be aloof, to be untouchable; and its is very widespread. That's my experience, and I'm nearing 50 years old.

I remember back in the day when I was a teen passing out tracts to try to convert people that I encountered a man who wouldn't believe I was a virgin. He said that I absolutely must be gay. I think that was sexism.

Going through life as a virgin I encountered this attitude in many places -- work places and schools, secular places, also among Christians of different denominations. People couldn't believe that a man could be chaste and not be gay. Along with it came some kind of excitement, like it was a novel thing for someone to not be sexually active. It was like they were meeting a talking dog. People would ask me about my sexual experiences and want to know, and I began to avoid those kinds of questions. I got tired of the same thing repeatedly.

 

[VoidCat]

Its very common that if a man is friendly, is open, is emotional he alarms other men. This is a society where you don't hug other men, don't smile too much, don't express too much excitement. Other men will be concerned that a man is gay, and this is very difficult when gays are unpopular. They are currently. There is a kind of pressure to be macho, to be aloof, to be untouchable; and its is very widespread. That's my experience, and I'm nearing 50 years old.

I remember back in the day when I was a teen passing out tracts to try to convert people that I encountered a man who wouldn't believe I was a virgin. He said that I absolutely must be gay. I think that was sexism.

Going through life as a virgin I encountered this attitude in many places -- work places and schools, secular places, also among Christians of different denominations. People couldn't believe that a man could be chaste and not be gay. Along with it came some kind of excitement, like it was a novel thing for someone to not be sexually active. It was like they were meeting a talking dog. People would ask me about my sexual experiences and want to know, and I began to avoid those kinds of questions. I got tired of the same thing repeatedly.

Some of that can also be directed at asexual folk too. But it's definitely a stereotype that men are hornier then a three pecker billygoat.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Some of that can also be directed at asexual folk too. But it's definitely a stereotype that men are hornier then a three pecker billygoat.

Not merely horny but also confused by our sex drive which changes our feelings, changes our thoughts and betrays us. We don't always know when attraction is affecting our thinking. It is like how gravity bends spacetime. Attraction bends the mind. So do lots of other things, such as anger or fear or sadness; but attraction is one of them.

 

[VoidCat]

Not merely horny but also confused by our sex drive which changes our feelings, changes our thoughts and betrays us. We don't always know when attraction is affecting our thinking. It is like how gravity bends spacetime. Attraction bends the mind. So do lots of other things, such as anger or fear or sadness; but attraction is one of them.

Um I'm on the asexual spectrum(greyace) and hardly ever experience attraction and when I do it's mind usually not enough for me to want to act on it...is this another stereotype or a fact about how most folk experience attraction?

 

[Brickjectivity]

Um I'm on the asexual spectrum(greyace) and hardly ever experience attraction and when I do it's mind usually not enough for me to want to act on it...is this another stereotype or a fact about how most folk experience attraction?

Have you ever heard in a romance story one person say to another "I can't stop thinking about you." This actually happens, and I remember saying something like it before I had ever heard that other people did so. You may not experience this directly as an ace, however as a human you may find your thoughts affected by your feelings or by things that draw your attention. Human thoughts are a little bit bendy. We don't always notice what causes us to make our decisions. We can find ourselves, too, experiencing something like gravity and high sensitivity. I once seemed to have a directional sense of where a girl was, this one girl. It was like there was a compass in my brain, and I was drawn to where she was without even knowing she was there. I presume I knew subconsciously where she was by something I had heard or some clue, but to me it seemed like magic.

 

[VoidCat]

Have you ever heard in a romance story one person say to another "I can't stop thinking about you." This actually happens, and I remember saying something like it before I had ever heard that other people did so. You may not experience this directly as an ace, however as a human you may find your thoughts affected by your feelings or by things that draw your attention. Human thoughts are a little bit bendy. We don't always notice what causes us to make our decisions. We can find ourselves, too, experiencing something like gravity and high sensitivity. I once seemed to have a directional sense of where a girl was, this one girl. It was like there was a compass in my brain, and I was drawn to where she was without even knowing she was there. I presume I knew subconsciously where she was by something I had heard or some clue, but to me it seemed like magic.

Ah ok.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Not merely horny but also confused by our sex drive which changes our feelings, changes our thoughts and betrays us. We don't always know when attraction is affecting our thinking. It is like how gravity bends spacetime. Attraction bends the mind. So do lots of other things, such as anger or fear or sadness; but attraction is one of them.

Yeah. I think men being not in control of their sex drive, is certainly a gross exaggeration. I have my hopes that when people say it, that they meant to say that women may have better control of their sex drives in general, and a less difficult time of it, due to the differences in hormones. But it's wrong in multiple ways. First of all, as a statement, it's wrong to say men can't control their drive. Second, even if it was true that women in general have better control over theirs, there's not too many situations where it's worth bringing it up, unless it's just to rub it in someone's face, and rubbing it in someone's face can be mean.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Not merely horny but also confused by our sex drive which changes our feelings, changes our thoughts and betrays us. We don't always know when attraction is affecting our thinking. It is like how gravity bends spacetime. Attraction bends the mind. So do lots of other things, such as anger or fear or sadness; but attraction is one of them.

That's passion or infatuation. That's a universal experience, not only a male one.

 

[Shaul]

I think health care is an area in which males are getting a raw deal. Consider some things. Males have a life expectancy about seven years less than females. The male mortality rate is higher than that of females in every age bracket. Yet (in the U.S.) the health care system spends twice(!) as much on care for females than on care for males. Just imagine what the outcry would be if these things were reversed!

As an example, consider the many sources of breast, ovarian and cervical cancers research and treatment funding. While it is true that males do also get breast cancer, it is a type of cancer that primarily affects females. Now think how few sources fund research and treatment for prostate cancer. One difference is the gender of the victims. Society rushes to save females in their prime. Prostate cancer is a disease of “old men” who society isn’t quite as concerned about.

Even though more males die from all types of cancer than females, funding for female specific cancer research and prevention is ten times that for male specific cancers. And that is just cancer. Other diseases that affect males more often are similarly funded less than those that affect females.

 

[Revoltingest]

Relevant news....
Two men win sex discrimination payout after female director vowed to 'obliterate' JWT's reputation | Daily Mail Online

 

[Revoltingest]

In the news....
Psaki snaps at reporter's abortion Q and says 'you’ve never faced those choices'
It seems that she believes men shouldn't ask questions about abortion issues.
Should women unable to conceive also be so restricted?